Harper turned the phone in her hand, the screen coming to life with an accidental tap on the glass. Her heart skipped for a moment before it realized its mistake and fumbled. Her phone was silent, her messages either unread or unanswered. Either way, they were ignored — probably collecting dust on his phone full of halfhearted attempts at friendliness and apologies from her heart.
Friday night had been the last time she'd heard from Robby. All she wanted to know was whether he was okay. Or as okay as he could be. He'd left that night without a clue as to where he was gonna go or stay. Naturally, Harper was worried. It frustrated her that she couldn't help him. That all she'd done was break his heart by not being able to give him hers.
Because her heart had a mind of its own.
And it belonged to someone else.
Someone who didn't deserve it, and yet it didn't stop from missing the person who'd broken it.
Harper sighed, running a hand through her hair and immediately regretting it. The strands now stood out at odd angles, and the little effort she'd put into her appearance was ruined. She took a few extra minutes to fix the loose curls into a style that seemed effortless, yet still her. She'd never had the time or luxury of worrying about her appearance. Before moving in with the Hudsons, her main priority had been survival. It still was, as it was hard to let go of that mindset, but somewhere along the way, she'd turned into a normal teenage girl.
One who maybe gave a damn about how she looked.
One who wanted to use light makeup and fashion to hold herself together like one big band-aid to cover up the cracks on the inside.
Especially when she saw how effortless the girls at school were.
Girls like Sam.
Girls like Moon.
Girls like Sadie.
They all had the right clothes, and the perfect skin, and that happy outer glow she'd been chasing her whole life.
It was vain. Harper knew that. And yet she continued to want to look somewhat put together. After all, it was the only thing she had any control over at the moment. And that one ounce of control — of freedom — wouldn't be given up willingly.
So she fixed her hair, applied some lip gloss, and made sure that her outfit was cute yet casual. One glance in the mirror made her wrinkle her nose. She looked the same as she always did – dressed in jeans with a fitted shirt that was just a little too cropped for her liking. It was nothing special, yet it still felt like she was trying too hard. Trying to be someone she wasn't because that's how all the girls at school looked and dressed.
Harper tugged at the shirt, trying to force it to stay down whenever she moved her arms, but the stubborn material rode up with a refusal to stay down. She tilted her head, arms flopping to the sides as she frowned at her reflection. She never thought she was pretty, just… average. But looking at her reflection suddenly made her feel like an impostor. Like she was trying just a little too hard.
She threw a plaid shirt on top, wiped the gloss off, and applied a bit of lip balm instead. It wasn't a big change, but the girl staring back at her in the mirror looked more like herself now. And that's all that mattered.
Grabbing her bag off the floor, she took one final look to make sure she had everything before exiting the room. The voices of Olivia chastising Cole for not doing an assignment floated up the stairs. All of it was so normal. A typical morning in the Hudson household that she almost tripped over going down the stairs. Because nothing was normal.
Certainly not her life.
Not her ruined friendship with Robby.
Not… whatever she still felt towards Hawk.
It was all a disaster tied together with a pretty bow.
A tragedy disguised as a present from the universe.
Harper dropped her bag by the kitchen island, where she grabbed a slice of toast from the plate and took a bite. She poured herself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter before taking a sip. She just watched the morning routines of Olivia, Lucas, and Cole unfold before her. The simplicity of it brought a smile to her face. It was so mundane, so normal, that it tugged at her heart because she'd never had that when she was Cole's age.
She'd been in survival mode since she was six. And telling a child that they had to fight just to make it through the day because no one would do it for them was heartbreaking. She'd been too young to depend on herself. Too young to see the world for what it really was. Cruel and unforgiving. Which was the exact reason she wanted Cole to stay as young and innocent for as long as possible. He'd already dipped a toe into the unfairness of life when Hawk turned out not to be the person he thought he was. It had been devastating to see him close himself off, to hear her own words repeated back to her.
It's nothing I can't handle.
Those five words had been her rock throughout her time in the system. It was her armor for when life became just a little more cruel than normal. A reminder that she'd been through worse and would power through like she always did.
But having heard those words come out of Cole's mouth for the first time had taken her breath away.
So, to see him arguing with his parents about how the video game wasn't why he'd forgotten to do his homework in the most Cole way possible, it brought a smile to her face. Because he was still that same goofy, lovable kid she'd met six months ago.
"You seriously need to cut back on those video games," Lucas said. "School first. Games later. That's what we agreed on, remember?"
"I know! I just forgot," Cole said in that dramatic way of his. He slumped back in his seat, ignoring the milk and cereal that spilled over the rim of the bowl. "Calm down. It's really not that deep," he muttered under his breath.
"What?" Lucas asked, leveling him with a hard look that would make anyone shrink away. It was fifty percent frustrated dad and fifty percent coach who was tired of students not listening to him.
"Nothing," Cole said with a shrug, scooping up soggy bits of cereal.
Lucas placed his coffee down, bracing himself for a lecture, but Olivia put a hand on his arm. He frowned when she shook her head, stopping him from saying anything more. "He's gonna fail his classes if he keeps this up."
"Then it'll be a lesson he'll have to learn from," Olivia said gently.
"I'm not gonna fail. It's just one stupid homework assignment," Cole grumbled, rolling his eyes. "You really think Harper doesn't forget to do her homework sometimes?"
"Hey, don't drag me into this," Harper said even though she'd definitely forgotten an assignment or two here and there.
"Well, Harper's not out there picking fights with her classmates," Olivia said, fixing him with a look that was scarier than Lucas's glare. "You're at my school, Cole. Do you really think other teachers don't talk about you to me? I've heard a lot. About you getting into arguments with your friends and how you've been acting out more than usual. Talking back to teachers, walking out of class. It's… It's beginning to be a problem."
Lucas blinked, looking from Cole to Olivia in surprise. "Wait, what? Why didn't you tell me any of this?"
"I was going to. I was just trying to give him a chance to fix things first," Olivia said gently, with that smile that always smoothed out whatever problem they were facing. "It's only happened a couple of times, but… we're serious, Cole. You need to stop–"
"Stop what? Kids at school suck, okay? Sometimes you just have to strike first," Cole said, standing up so fast his chair almost toppled over. He grabbed his bag from the floor and ignored everyone as he headed towards the door. "I'll be late for school. You know, the place you're so worried about," he called back before the front door slammed shut.
Harper's grip on the coffee cup tightened. His use of strike first didn't sit right with her, and she could only guess where he'd learned it. That phrase settled heavily in the room, turning a normal morning into something heavier.
Her foster parents exchanged a look, and she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her right then and there. Because she knew this was her fault — the way Cole was acting and talking. She'd introduced him to Hawk and saw how much he looked up to him. What started as him mimicking his actions and words turned to come borrowing much of his personality from Hawk. It had been endearing as much as it was annoying.
But after their breakup, Harper hadn't realized that the bad parts of Hawk still stuck around or how Cole clung to those bits even though he claimed to hate him.
"I, uhm, I'll talk to him later," she mumbled, avoiding their eyes. "It's kinda my fault. You know, since Hawk…. I'll talk to Cole."
She forced herself to face her foster parents, expecting them to be watching her with nothing but disappointment. But they weren't. Sure, they looked worried about Cole, but it didn't seem as if they blamed her for it.
"It's not your fault, Harper," Lucas told her, arms crossed as he leaned against the opposite counter.
"It's not?" Harper blinked, having thought that if anyone would pin the blame on her, it'd be him. Not because he had something against her, but because he never liked Hawk to begin with. "It's just… he's acting like him, you know? The whole strike first thing is kinda Cobra Kai's slogan so…,"
"Cole might've picked up a couple of things from him, but this isn't your fault," Olivia added gently, coming to stand beside her. "Not everything is your fault, you know."
She'd heard those words before, but they somehow landed differently this time. Having come from a world where she was punished for the simplest inconveniences, Harper still held onto that belief — that everything was her fault.
After months of living with the Hudsons and Ryan, she should've let go of that mindset. But it was difficult when life drilled that belief into her from a young age.
Harper swallowed hard and nodded. "I guess I just… Cole's never acted like this before. Not until I broke up with…. I just figured that it was my fault. You know, since I let him hang around here so much."
"Cole's twelve, not two. He knows what he's doing, even when he's acting out," Lucas assured her with a smile that forced her to believe him. He passed by her, giving her arm that fatherly squeeze to show her he had nothing against her. "Come on, get ready for school. We'll leave in a few minutes."
Harper nodded, the relief diminishing the worry a tiny bit. The guilt, stubborn and determined to ruin her day, clung to her like a second skin. Not just about Cole suddenly acting like an understudy for Cobra Kai's junior group, but about Robby. His silence was grating on her already frayed nerves. One tap on the screen brought her phone to life, but no messages greeted her. Her texts to Robby remained unanswered, and she forced herself not to send another one even though she desperately wanted to.
She took another bite of the toast, but it felt like a dried-up rock in her throat when she tried to swallow. A bigger sip of coffee helped it go down, yet the taste buds that burned off from the overly hot coffee made her regret her decision instantly. Coughing into her hand, she shot Olivia a quick look that told her she was okay before setting her breakfast down on the counter. She fidgeted with the phone as if staring at it might telepathically remind Robby that she was waiting for him to reply back – to let her know he was okay and safe and didn't hate her.
Frustrated by the silence, Harper put her phone down a little too roughly on the counter.
"Everything okay?" Olivia looked up from the light cleaning she was doing.
"Yeah. Sorry," Harper said with a sheepish smile, finishing the last bite of toast. "I'm just… I haven't heard from Robby since Friday, and I'm kinda worried."
Olivia nodded as she put the remainder of the uneaten food away. The kitchen still looked like a post-breakfast disaster with dishes stacked up in the sink and crumbs covering the surfaces. But she left that mess and went to stand beside her.
"I'm sure he's okay. He just got out of juvie, so I'm sure adjusting to being out is tough for him," Olivia said. "Besides, you offered to help him. To let him crash here or with Ryan, right? It's not on you that he turned down the help. I think this is just something he has to figure out himself."
"But he shouldn't have to. He's not going to Mr. LaRusso's or Johnny's, so… I don't know what his plan was. He didn't even have one when he left here." Harper looped her finger around her bracelet, spinning it left and right in a soothing rhythm. "And he's not answering my texts. I feel like he's mad at me."
"For what? Did you two have a fight?" Olivia asked gently, like she always did when broaching what might be a delicate topic.
Harper shook her head, replaying that moment in the backyard with Robby. "Not really." She glanced up at Olivia, her expression open and inviting for whatever she was about to say. But the words were stuck for a moment. She wasn't used to opening up like this — wasn't used to an adult caring enough to genuinely want to know. "He kissed me. And I didn't kiss him back."
Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but Olivia caught the words before they could disappear. That understanding nod of hers was followed by her pushing Harper's hair behind her shoulder. Her hand lingered, the touch maternal and caring, so much so that Harper's breath caught.
"You didn't want him to." It was a statement, not a question.
"No," Harper said, blowing out a frustrated breath. She was still sure that the only reason he kissed her was because he was heartbroken over Sam. But the way he'd looked at her after, like she mattered and it wasn't a spur-of-the-moment thing, made her doubt it. "I just… I couldn't do that to —"
"Couldn't do that to Hawk?" Olivia pressed with a knowing look on her face.
"What? No," Harper said quickly. "We're—we broke up. You know that"
"That doesn't mean you don't still care about him," Olivia said.
The words knocked something loose in her heart. It was barely holding itself together as it was, but hearing Olivia say that made her want to reinforce the duct tape and rope. She didn't want it to be true, didn't want to believe that she could still feel something for someone who'd done the unimaginable.
And if she did? Then what did that make her?
Someone who knew right from wrong, who fought like hell against bullies, only to give her heart to one?
"He broke Demetri's arm," Harper said, the truth still too heavy and real to be said aloud without wincing.
"I know," Olivia said quietly, brushing a hand over her shoulder. "But you don't hate him, you hate what he did."
Harper looked up at Olivia, confusion swirling in her eyes at that statement. To her, it had been one and the same. She hated what he did so therefore, she hated him. But Olivia made it seem as if it were two different things, and she didn't know what to do with that. How to come to terms with being mad at him but still not being over him.
It had been a hell of a lot easier when she'd kept her distance. When she'd kept people at arm's length. It meant no messy emotions that contradicted each other. No one to hold out hope for even when it was hard. It had just been her – Harper as she tried to navigate the cruel world around her. Life had been unforgiving, but at least she never had to depend on anyone. She'd been prepared for disappointment rather than hope. So when that hope got shredded along with her heart, it left her in pieces.
She wanted to argue that Olivia was wrong. That she didn't know anything and hadn't been there that night. Hadn't seen the Cobra Kai mask as it permanently slipped onto his face. Instead, she stared past her as if hoping the answer was buried somewhere among the crumbs on the table.
"I know it's complicated and messy right now, but you two had something real. And that's so rare, Harper. Not just for kids your age, but for anyone. I didn't always like him, and the universe knows how Lucas felt about him, but… You two worked," Olivia continued, unaware of the way her words sliced Harper open. "So it's okay if you still love him because I don't think he's stopping loving you either."
This wasn't the morning conversation Harper planned to have. Now or ever. It was too real, too messy. It made her confront her feelings in a way that she didn't want to. Locking them away in a box and focusing on hatred was easier than focusing on the part of herself that was missing.
"How?" Harper asked, looking up at her and hating how already blurred her vision was. "I called him a monster and told him to stay the hell away from me. I pushed him away, and he ran deeper into Cobra Kai."
To Sadie. But she didn't say that part aloud.
But maybe she was the reason he was so caught up in who Kreese wanted him to be. Instead of fighting for him, she'd let him go when things got too complicated after promising not to.
If she stayed, then she'd be betraying her friends all over again.
Neither situation was winnable, and the only person who lost was her.
"Just call it mother's intuition." Olivia wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug.
Harper was used to comfort now, or as used to as someone with a past rooted in the system could be — but, even now, she wanted to pull away. She didn't. She let the hug say the words that couldn't be spoken.
"Ready to head out?" Lucas leaned against the wall, eyes narrowed in that knowing way of his. He glanced between the two of them, not saying anything, but the way his jaw clenched made it clear he heard most of their conversation.
Harper nodded as she pulled away from the hug. She didn't have to say thank you to Olivia; a silent look was all that was needed. So she stuffed her phone into her pocket, grabbed her bag, and walked past Lucas while avoiding his gaze.
And he didn't need to say anything either. He didn't need words to express his worry or disappointment for what the moment really was — her heartache, her confusion, her love. Lucas just looked towards Olivia with a slow shake of his head, a wordless conversation shared between them that was louder than anything that could've been spoken aloud.
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Thanks so much for reading! This one's a bit shorter, but hopefully still a good one.
