Waiting

At first she had pitied her.

As she'd watched her future queen alight from the carriage wearing an imprudent evening gown in midday, as she witnessed the ever-so-gallant King abandon his bride inside the entrance hall of the castle with only herself and Housekeeper Sama as escorts, and as she noticed the startled flinch of her new charge when the hall door slammed shut behind a dismissive King, Yukari had been filled with a piteous mortification and a cold foreboding for the sweet-looking woman she'd been hired to care about.

She'd been hopeful that the king would soften for his future wife, but after all was said and done that first day, his cool dismissiveness didn't surprise her. Not after her initial meeting with him only a few days prior to that debacle.

Under Housekeeper Sama's sponsorship, she had been interviewed before the King in his reception hall. Surrounded by dark, carved pillars of ancient wood, and backed by curling incense and a twisting dragon carved into the back wall, the King had sat on a lone wooden throne. Smoky light streamed in from the high windows, highlighting his black hair and his tapping fingers even as she had approached from the other end of the room. Rather than be so bold as to meet his eyes, she had focused on the fine, brown leather of his boots as she knelt, her fist up in supplication.

"King Fanel, I introduce the lady's maid I've selected for our future queen," Sama had said next to her. "Miss Yukari Uchida."

Yukari's arms and legs had begun to burn before the king stood and released her from her genuflection. She'd carefully, curiously, lifted her gaze to appraise for herself whether he was indeed the most eligible man in Fanelia, or, as she usually heard, the fierce Dragon King; it was impossible to her that he could be both.

She took in his untamed dark hair, how he stood stiff and unbending, how his shadowed scarlet eyes scanned her almost nonchalantly. She could see how maybe some women could find him attractive, and, briefly, she wondered if he found her to be so. But his stern expression never faltered, and his eyes didn't so much as pause at her tied, narrow waist—one of her best features. Yukari was glad when his sharp eyes flicked back to Sama.

"Remind me how you found her?" he had asked in an even, baritone voice as he sat again upon his throne.

"My king. She was recommended by your head footman, Susumu, who worked with her in Arzas. Like him, she was employed by the Dame Schism of Arzas, up until her death this autumn," Sama had said. "She comes highly recommended by her household."

"How long did you serve in her employ?" he had asked Yukari.

"Six years, my King," she'd answered.

"What is your age?" he asked.

"Two and twenty," she said.

At this he had turned and gestured to the Head Minister (Arlott, she later learned), who bent down and had a brief, whispered conversation with the king. Yukari had watched his hand flick towards her.

She'd held her chin high when his attention returned to her. "Why should I allow you to serve her instead of finding someone older, with more experience?"

Yukari had ducked her head to hide the defiance that certainly appeared on her face, hoping the action came across as submissive. Between Dame Schism and Amano, she'd been coached to swallow her pride or lose the opportunity for her position. Briefly, she'd thought of asking King Fanel whether his youthful age disqualified him from being king, but she'd held her tongue and had peered up to see him watching her like a dragon stalking its prey, his eyes narrowed, one brow lifted, almost as if he had provoked her on purpose and wanted to see her reaction.

A shiver ran up her spine, and she decided then that of the rumors she'd heard, he was not the most eligible bachelor. She'd retain that title for Amano, after all.

He was why she was here, after all. He'd referred her to Housekeeper Sama and had been so excited for her to have this opportunity to join him in the Capital. If you serve the queen well, you'll be set for life, he'd said. When she'd complained that it would be a life without him, he dismissed it. They can't stop us from being together and marrying eventually. Five more years—three more years—and we'll have a comfortable life.

The king's voice cut through Yukari's thoughts. "Well?"

She met his look boldly at first, before lowering her gaze to his interwoven, leather-gloved fingers. "Perhaps your queen will want someone who can relate to being a foreigner in a st— new household, someone closer to her own age." Her mind had scrambled for a way to recover her near blunder of calling the king's household strange. "I am well educated and can be a true companion to her," she finished lamely.

The had king shifted, and she knew she'd annoyed him. "You're to be a servant, not a friend," he'd said abrasively.

Warm defiance rose again into her breast, and it was only years of training that had kept her from snapping back. "I can be whatever my Mistress needs," she had said with all her composure. "A servant, a friend, a decoration, a companion. I desire nothing more than to serve her. My Liege."

She'd kept her burning face down, ignoring the whispers of the watchers in the shadows as she prayed her remarks had come across as sufficiently humble. She didn't dare look into the king's eyes.

Someone coughed and a door slammed somewhere in the distance before the king answered. "Sama, see to it that she's acquainted with the castle and the queen's chambers," he had said with a dismissive wave. "I put the future queen's comfort in your hands, Uchida."

And that had been it then, as it was when the king left the newly arrived Lady Kanzaki at the entrance hall of the castle. Dismissed and left to someone else's care.

But that first day, Lady Kanzaki had kept her graciousness and honor intact, in spite of the awkward introduction and disheartening abandonment. Yukari could have sworn she'd seen her shaking, had caught the future queen wiping away a tear, but her smile had been sweet and sincere, and her interest in every room genuine. When she'd finally been introduced to her chambers, she'd requested Yukari to fetch Mother Kanzaki (as her lady called her) and then, once they were reunited, had promptly dismissed her to-–as Yukari presumed by the sound of the older lady's murmur—sob into her mother's neck.

Yet, when Yukari had presented tea in her sitting chamber, Lady Kanzaki had an air of chipper serenity about her. Ignoring Mother Kanzaki's complaints about the breach of etiquette, the young woman had smiled at Yukari, asked after her family, inquired about her favorite food and modes of entertainment. Over the next weeks, Yukari learned that the future queen enjoyed warm cinnamon tea, took every opportunity to walk in the garden, and loved any card game or diversion Yukari could provide, including the Arzas favorite, a strategy game called Tafl. After telling her Lady about it, the two had painted a checkered, hexagonal game board onto a parchment and gathered pebbles from the garden to paint in the six different colors. By the time she was Queen, Hitomi was proficient enough at the game to win over half the time.

After that first day, Yukari kept in her Lady's shadow, serving her, conversing with her, attending to her needs. Lady Hitomi was easy to keep happy—blessedly so after Lady Schism—and easy to talk to. She preferred to dress herself as much as possible, insisted on little help during bath time (the pre-marriage bath was a different story), and was equally happy braiding her own hair as allowing Yukari to do it for her, or doing Yukari's hair once in a while, too. And between talk of childhoods, governesses, and friends, Yukari found ways to bring up Fanelian customs. They rehearsed the Fanelian royal greeting together, reviewed the proper way to serve tea, and discussed how to handle the citizens who come for Court.

But one thing they never mentioned: lovers, potential or otherwise.

For this, Yukari was grateful. First off, it was apparent that Queen Hitomi had a long way to go before she could call the king a lover; besides, any discussion in that direction wasn't her business. Secondly, bringing up her own love-life was beyond the realm of her own etiquette and would only put her position at risk. So it was mutually beneficial to silently avoid this topic, and Yukari did her level best to keep her relationship with Amano to herself.

Naturally, in the beginning, she'd been insatiably curious about the King's supposed enchantment with this foreign lady. She'd heard of their absconding together during the gala all the way in Arzas, and in the weeks afterwards, Yukari had listened ravenously to rumor after rumor.

But for the four months after the wedding, King Fanel's actions denied any explicit romantic feelings. She knew he only saw his queen when they were seated at meals, and so Yukari, intent on ignoring her beloved Amano as he served them, focused her energy on spying on him from her position at the wall. The king certainly noticed his wife, but, unless she was telling one of her stories, his eyes avoided her. (Yet, during her stories, Yukari often kept track with amusement as his eyes traveled to her with an interest he shrouded in stoniness; the record so far was ten times in one meal.) Furthermore, seeing how sparingly he escorted her sparingly, Yukari grew convinced that the supposed absconding hadn't happened at all, that rumors that he'd selected her had been false, and that it must've been Ministers Hasom or Mead or Arlott who'd picked her.

When presented with the opportunity, her future queen seemed to enjoy chatting with anyone available, but especially the King's cabinet. It was obvious that Ministers Arlott and Mead adored her. Yukari watched the tips of their hats dip in conversation, heard the smiles in their voices as they answered Lady Kanzaki's endless questions about Fanelian customs and rituals. Hasom, who was obviously besotted, had insisted on escorting the future Queen through the Fanelian markets, where, she'd heard, the guards had had a difficult time watching her for the number of people crowding around her. Eventually, when she returned, the guards were carrying armfuls of paper flowers from the children, and her Lady had spent a happy afternoon placing them about her chambers.

Master Nakushi, the Royal Fanelian Tailor, had been expected, in Yukari's eyes, to be Lady Kanzaki's second trial (after the king). This man, a high-born Capital resident, who'd been trained in Asturia and Ezgardia, had sneered at Yukari's sketches for her desired wardrobe (as she'd needed a new one upon entering the royal faculty). He'd been downright dismissive of her taste. Yukari had thus expected him to be equally dismissive of the future queen. Yet, as soon as Lady Hitomi (as she'd asked to be called for the time) had stood for him to be measured, she'd sparked a lively conversation about thread (of all things) and how—while Fanelian thread made from high-mountain pasha grass had a fine, glossy finish to it-–one must admit that the thread made from Egzardian river rushes was both finer and more durable, and was the perfect thread for a warrior's gloves. The future queen had, from there, convinced the tailor to add some touches of Freidian blue and yellow to her wardrobe-–even though these could clash terribly with Fanelian blue-–and they both, somehow, agreed on the same green. Yukari, who did her best to appear more of an expert than she was, grew ashamed for not having paid better attention to her needlework lessons beyond the basic repair skills she had to have as a lady's maid.

But while Master Nakushi turned out not to be a trial, there was one surprising person Lady Hitomi couldn't crack (again, other than the king), and that was the General. Amano had tipped her off to this one, otherwise she might not have noticed. Rumor was, General Balgus had some long-standing feud with General Kanzaki—who, it was rumored, had shifted his troops in such a way during the Freidian-Basramian conflict years ago, leaving Fanelia exposed in an attack that cost thousands of lives—but Yukari couldn't ever ascertain whether that had actually happened.

It didn't help that his hostilities were always passive aggressive. Standing in the shadows yet again, the sabbath before the marriage, she watched Lady Hitomi kneel at Escaflowne's altar, proffer her fine fingers to Minister Arlott, and endure the knife prick that allowed her blood to fall upon the Heart of the Dragon. Yukari watched, hypnotized, as her Lady's blood sparkled on the crystal inlaid into the altar, heard her swear fealty to her new god, and observed as the Minister fed her the water that poured from Escaflowne's fountain. Her fascination was broken when, on the other side of the room, she caught Balgus, his folded arms flinching, as he eyed his future queen with a harsh squint. Yukari hadn't dared do anything more than wonder if he doubted the efficacy of her conversion before Hitomi was standing, and she had to rush forward with a handkerchief for her mistress's bleeding finger.

May weeks later, while standing in the background at a planning council, the queen made a suggestion that they could welcome the summer with a children's day in the Gardens. Just as Yukari detected the faintest softening of the King's expression, the General sniffed—too audibly—drawing his attention. When asked if he was objecting, the General claimed that security would be impractical, too many people would be involved, and why waste resources for such childish whimsy? From there, the King shut down her idea with a prejudice that made even the queen's optimistic smile falter.

Such things did not improve the General's reputation in Yukari's mind, but at least he never insulted or questioned the queen directly while he did assign his best men to protect her. Ultimately, Yukari early on decided that, whatever his personal feelings might be, he was at least doing his royal duty to protect the queen and those closest to her. If she didn't like how he looked at the queen, what was she to do about it? She was a lady's maid, a handmaiden, with no voice of authority or influence with anyone except her Lady, the maids under her, and Amano.

And for her own selfish reasons, this suited her. The last thing she wanted was for the General to notice her—or her relationship—and she was already too close to him for her comfort.

Indeed, Yukari's only complaint about her position was that most of her breaks were unfortunately opposite of Amano's, who, as head footman, served the royal table at mealtime and on outings—exactly when she was allowed to break. Eventually, after the wedding, after dark, when she knew her Queen was sleeping (alone, in her own bed, of course), she'd slip past the guard at the door (claiming to need light for mending) and find Amano in the servant's common room, where they'd slip off to whichever dark room was available.

Those stolen hours in his arms fed her. It made the neverending attentiveness to her Queen, the difficulties of moving to a new city and household, the stress of pleasing the persnickety members of the royal household, worth it. They talked of anything but the royal couple, and he'd stroke her hair, kiss her fingers, play with her neck, until, eventually she'd find bliss in his lips.

Yes, taking this position was worth it. The rest of her life was just filling the moments between.

The days before the wedding, she'd hardly seen him. Her life had revolved around keeping her Lady fed during the numerous lessons and ceremonies and dress fittings. The entire day before had been spent with her Lady and the priests while Hitomi had been washed, waxed, oiled, and anointed in preparation for her offering herself to the king (a sacrifice Yukari doubted took place). But, surprisingly, the day of the wedding was full of stolen kisses with Amano, who was dressed in his very finest and as busy as the Fanelian glass makers at their warm winter forges. The ceremonies were long and tiresome, but at the luncheons and the evening party, as Amano served and she fetched the queen little bits of food she never ate, they could duck behind a pillar or a tapestry with little fear of being caught. All eyes were on the new queen: what food did she prefer, what gift did she favor, or, what blunder did she make? But once she'd seen Queen Hitomi and King Van off to bed, she and Amano and the rest of the staff had partied until they fell asleep practically where they stood.

In spite of her position, Yukari's nature wasn't to be subservient. She'd begun training as a lady's maid only by the grace of Escaflowne after the Basramian conflict had left her orphaned. Before that, she had wanted nothing more than to run her own merchant shop and do her own bossing around. Now, in spite of her natural talent for managing other people, she only had the Queen's chamber maids to manage.

However, as the weeks grew into months, and as Yukari grew to understand Queen Hitomi for who she was—generous, sincere, passionate, impulsive to the point of putting herself in danger, and ridiculously optimistic—it became second nature for her to keep watch over her. She grew almost possessive of the queen's well-being, especially as she often ventured away from her in the markets, only to be nearly tackled by the children. The queen had a gently stoic mien when before the court and King, but away from their eyes, her loneliness oozed through the cracks of her noble facade. As the months began adding up, more and more of the queen's smiles would hide a sigh or a sadness, and the only time she would smile would be if she was walking among children and could sing a silly song with them.

So Yukari began to plan ahead. And in June, after the king rejected her most recent request to join him for lunch—four months into their marriage, he still hadn't allowed his wife to see inside his precious haven—Yukari was prepared. She put a handful of gid into the hands of a servant boy, who ran ahead of them while the lady's maid persuaded the queen to visit the children in the plaza. Once there, just past the Escaflowne fountain and in the shadow of the Sanctuary, it was the queen's great delight to discover that the city acting troupe just happened to be performing a Freidian love play that just happened to be beginning right that moment.

After the opening performance, her mistress very generously left the troupe her week's generous allowance as payment for the pleasure of distraction the play had provided.

Yukari, who had begged Hasom for the connection and then paid two week's worth of her own meager salary to the playwright of Love in the Maze of Trenches, felt a warm satisfaction that her forward-thinking had been so well-received. Hitomi never discovered Yukari's part in orchestrating the arrival of the Freidian play to the Fanelian capital, and this was fine by her. After that opening performance, they had encore performances over the next three sabbath eves, and her Lady went to all of them, Yukari in tow. The happy light in her lady's green eyes every time she watched the knight return from battle and run through the maze to finally kiss his childhood love was payment enough.

As the summer grew hotter, however, Yukari watched the queen grow more agitated and more vocal in her desire to find any footing with the king. He declined any interest in watching Love in the Maze, or horse riding, or even walks in the garden. They hadn't dined together privately since his birthday three months ago. Meanwhile, Queen Hitomi was taking on more responsibility at court, handing down sentences and doing her best to be fair, but inevitably falling on some people's bad sides.

One case in particular hurt her the most. The man at fault had burned another man's barn, destroying his livelihood in the process, and Hitomi had ordered him imprisoned for a short time before he would be released, whereupon half his income would be garnished for the next two years and given to the victim. But before the month's imprisonment ended, the man had died of palpatism it was thought, leaving the innocent wife and children to pay the ordered restitution.

This hit the Queen's sensitive heart hard. While Yukari tried to point out the many people who supported her judgment, it was the vocal few who were the loudest. As her entourage walked through the markets in the plaza, a cry of husband killer could be heard here and there from a hidden woman or child.

By July, the queen's nervousness kept her from going out rarely, if at all, and Yukari began more often to hear her wake with a cry. On those nights, when she went to her, the Queen would accept her hand, ask for a drink, and then Yukari would read to her or brush her hair until she fell asleep again. Her heart ached to see her mistress—so dedicated and cheerful and considerate—be so distressed by things beyond her control.

As the sleepless nights increased, Yukari's visits with Amano decreased. This was a frustration, certainly, but, with Amano's encouragement, one she accepted as graciously as she could. The thought of taking pleasure while her Queen woke distressed was enough to turn her off the idea of escaping her duty. Yukari decided with a remarkable sense of her own self-growth that, if she was the only one who could bring solace to Queen Hitomi, then she would fulfil her duty with all her heart.

And this duty began to be nightly. Yukari began to grow frustrated with the prisoner for dying and bringing so much vexation to her life.

Until she came to understand—almost too late—that it was more than the fate of the prisoner and his family that upset the queen.

The King was preparing to leave for a number of weeks to a trade summit in Asturia, and Queen Hitomi, wanting an audience with him, ordered a special afternoon luncheon be prepared.

Much to nobody's surprise, he rejected the invitation. Yukari, prepared for this, instead presented another appealing idea: invite a young lady the queen's age in his stead. The young lady in question was one of rank, and she had two young children that Yukari knew would delight her mistress.

Her mistress accepted the substitution, but on the day of, she grew so out of sorts that Yukari did most of her dressing. At first, she wanted this dress, and then that one, before settling on her usual green garden robe with an extra petticoat underneath. Additionally, Yukari had her hair almost all put up in braids until she ordered them be removed and brushed out so they hung in down her shoulders—a lovely look, for sure, but one that was rather informal for a luncheon. Finally, Amano had set the little tent up on a high, private terrace where the children could play without worrying the staff, but no, not even that was enough for her.

Yukari watched the queen fidget with her gloved fingers before she finally spoke up. "Susumu, I want the table moved down to the rose garden, below the rhododendrons," she directed.

Amano bowed, called the other footmen, and got to work. Meanwhile, Yukari, pacing at the queen's heels, asked, "Why move it, my Lady?"

"Because it has a better view of the castle," she said. "And I wish to keep my eyes on it while I can."

Yukari heard a tension in her voice that was unusual even for her usual mood these days.

"If you'd like, you can order it to be painted from that vantage," she offered. "Would you like that, m'lady?"

The queen stopped as she scanned the three rising floores and the blue-tiled rooftops. "Yes, I'd like that very much," she said softly. "But we must not use the same painter who did my likeness. I don't like how they drew my nose so pointy," she said, a finger on her nose.

"Yes, m'lady," Yukari laughed, eliciting a real smile from her mistress—the first one in days.

But then Yukari watched the joy recede from her face; she sighed, and then sighed again, and then seemed almost out of breath in their walk of the garden.

If Yukari didn't know better, she might almost think by her shortness of breath that the queen was with child, but she had long known, by the way the king continued not to touch his wife, that she remained unbedded yet. Which, she thought with fondness towards Amano, was a right, proper shame.

The queen wandered away and Yukari's mind continued to wander on this topic as she simultaneously admired the fit of Amano's trousers.

The movement of a window opening high on the castle wall caught her attention.

Yukari stepped behind a bush and peered upwards. It was on the third floor, she thought, which was in shadow, as the sun was on the opposite side of the castle and she was in the shade of the Great tree.

But when her eyes adjusted to the shadow, she lifted a gloved hand to cover her surprise.

The king was watching them. She could just make out his form in the shadows of the window that she guessed was his study.

But he wasn't watching the footmen. His face was angled just slightly enough she could tell he was watching Hitomi, who had taken a little stone stair up to the rhododendron garden just above this terrace.

A pale beacon in the shadow, his bare hand reached up to grip the window casement as he continued his vigil. Then, as the footment were moving the platters down another stair, one caught the sunlight just right, casting a reflection to light up the King's face.

Yukari let out an audible gasp.

In that momentary flash, she'd seen him not just staring, but smiling—wistfully—at Queen Hitomi!

But the light startled him, and his hand disappeared as he backed into the room and out of sight. Her brief glimpse of his covert admiration had ended.

A giggle bubbled up her throat as her heart skipped happily.

The rumors must have been true! She'd all but forgotten them in the intervening months, but there must have been some part of the King that admired the Lady Hitomi. He probably didn't even know it himself. He might not have realized he was even smiling!

These thoughts gave her a jittery energy, and she skipped out of her hiding place and up the stairs.

But before she could relay the joyful discovery to her mistress, Yukari's heart skipped.

The queen stood frozen, her eyes glassy, her hand midair, just touching the delicate petals of a pink blossom.

A flash of panic replaced her jubilee.

She shouldn't have let her mistress wander so far! It ought not to be allowed! Someone had cut a rhododendron and used it to poison the queen!

"My queen! Hitomi!" Yukari called out with alarm, daring to use her given name. "My lady! Are you alright?"

Hitomi shook herself, blinked her dazed green eyes, and tried to smile at her maid. "Yukari," she said, "I was just lost in thought."

In the panic of the queen's pallid face and dilated eyes, Yukari drew out her fan and began fanning her. "You do not look well. You need to rest."

"I'm well. I'm fine." But the comforting hand she rested upon Yukari's arm trembled and was cold.

"I'll send Susumu to tell Lady Yurizen that you aren't up to tea after all."

"No!" the queen exclaimed. "No, we must move forward with it. My King leaves tomorrow, and he must remember my face," she said, hiding a not-so-subtle glance up to the third story window behind the fan she'd taken from Yukari.

In her panic, she'd forgotten about the king's spying, but now she recalled it, Yukari glanced up to see the window empty, closed even. Her heart still pounded in her chest from her momentary panic, but it clicked in her mind then that her Lady had intentionally moved the tea to this meadow, where the king, secluded as he was in his study, would be able to watch her.

Did Lady Hitomi know he watched her then? Is that why she always dressed in her most flattering day dress to walk the gardens? Is that why she requested her private plot to be just at the end of the rose garden?

Yukari smiled, genuinely, because she knew that indeed, the king did watch. "I think it must work, my queen," she said ardently.

But before she could figure out how to relay her discovery, the queen dipped her head, and, with unmistakable distress in her voice said, "I'm afraid something is coming, Yukari, something very bad, and that he'll never understand—" She cut herself off, clasped a hand to her chest, and lifted a brave but teary smile. Her green eyes shone bright and soleful.

Yukari's breath left her.

Her lady was in love with King Van?

She squeezed the queen's arm almost desperately and wanted to ask, How is this possible? How could she love someone so beastly as he? What did she see—

"Nevermind me," the queen said, fanning her face and interrupting Yukari's thoughts. "Don't be pained for my sake, Yukari, I'm merely worried about running the kingdom without his assistance, that's all. I'm just being silly."

Yukari pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and handed it over. "You are not being silly. You have many deep thoughts and feelings, my lady. They do you justice as queen. The King will see that soon. You'll see." She squeezed her mistress's arm, this time more gently. "The weeks will pass, and he'll return to see you triumphant. His heart will soften. The people love you, and I know someday he will love you, too."

Dabbing her tears one last time, Hitomi returned the handkerchief and fan without meeting her eyes. "You have become a true friend, Yukari." She craned her neck to peer down the garden. "Lady Yurizen and her children are coming, I see. Well, I would like to think you're right, but my heart tells me otherwise. Still, the only thing we can do is our best, true?" she said with a lovely smile upon her still-damp face.

In spite of her stated optimism, as the queen stepped away, Yukari could almost see her somber attitude drift behind her like a sad aura. She couldn't help but think of that sunny, chilly-but-hopeful winter day when Lady Kanzaki alighted from the carriage, all innocent smiles and bright optimism, her evening dress glistening in the bright winter sunlight as snow glittered from the eaves of the castle like a welcoming wave.

Now, the castle cast her into shadow: no light caught the golden threads of her hems and her breezy skirts fluttered somberly, like a pathetic sigh with no influence against a heavy curtain. The Queen walked now with weighted shoulders, a smile now more determined than innocent, and a heart where hurt and hope intermingled almost as one.

And Yukari realized, on the eve of her next abandonment, that she no longer felt pity for her mistress.

No. No. Yukari could only explain this precious pain as more than pity, as something more like the pain she felt when Amano left Arzas those years ago.

Yukari loved Queen Hitomi.

And now. . .

Now, she ached with her.


A/N

Long time no see, eh?

This has been two years in the work.

I got a very encouraging review recently, and that inspired me to finish this. Comments and reviews matter. If you're still here, thank you.

xo-CE