Naomi
He was holding my hand.
I knew it was him even before I was fully conscious. There wasn't a piece of him I wouldn't recognize. Even shrouded in a darkness like I'd never known. Even through a sedative-muddled head. Even as pain radiated up from the many broken bones in my foot and tried to overwhelm my other senses, I knew.
His arms around me. The warmth of his chest against my side as he cradled me in his lap. His heartbeat against my ear. His hand holding mine.
I'm home.
I'm home.
"Daryl?" My voice croaked from lack of use.
"Hey, hey," Relief cracked his voice. "Yeah, it's me, sweetheart. I'm right here."
I tried to look up at him, but I couldn't see anything.
"Am…am I dead?"
"No, baby, you're safe," he said softly, his hand stroking my hair. I believed it. I felt so, so safe with him even though I couldn't see a damn thing. The world wasn't just dark, it was black, void of light. I kept waiting for my eyes to adjust.
"Did…did they do something to my eyes?" I was too scared to reach up and check. They didn't hurt, but part of me was still numb, and I was terrified I'd find nothing but gouged-out sockets.
"No, angel, you're alright," he said, hugging me tighter. "We're in the tunnels. Something… exploded. Or maybe there was a big cave-in. I dunno, but don't worry, okay? People are working on digging us out."
Shit.
Did the Colonel blow the bunker?
I didn't want to think about him yet. Or think about that place. I needed this moment with Daryl. Just us. Distantly, muffled by a wall of caved-in rock, I could hear voices. The scrape of metal on stone.
"Are they all okay? Did everyone make it out?"
"They're fine. Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm home," I said and couldn't get much further than that. Once I'd acknowledged it out loud, the tears wouldn't stop flowing. I tried to say more, but the words wouldn't come. I think he tried to say something back but couldn't. So he held on tighter.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, burying my face in his neck. Daryl squeezed me tight, fingers digging in like he was scared I'd melt into the darkness if he let go. I clung to him just the same. I didn't realize how heavy the weight of the last few months had been until it lifted in his arms. Stronger than the stone.
He should know he's holding two of us.
"Daryl…" I choked out his name.
"I'm right here, angel," he murmured. So soft it made something in me well up, more tears fell. He was so gentle with me. Holding me to him in a way that protected me without confining me. After being so alone, starved of him, it was overwhelming to be loved so deeply again. He'd always been gentle by nature, forced by nurture into being something else.
"I can't believe you found me," I whispered.
"Sorry I took so long," he whispered back.
We could have stayed that way forever, long after the others had managed to get in. Deep under the earth in a place that light couldn't touch, we could have stayed wrapped in each other for eons. We probably would have, too, if it hadn't been for another sound in the dark.
I felt him freeze. He'd heard it, too. We weren't alone in this tunnel. Something dead was getting closer.
Fuck.
Daryl shifted, lifting me out of his lap. I instinctively tried to put my foot down to help him move me and yelped in pain.
"Shit," Daryl whispered. "You okay?"
"Yeah," I let out a shaky breath as the stab of pain faded back to an ache. Daryl set me down on the cold stone, and then I lost him to the dark. I hated it. His footsteps slowly moved away from me and toward a danger I couldn't face with him. Some tiny, terrified part of me wanted to beg him to come back, but I squashed it down.
Daryl grunted. The snarl of the dead became more frantic, the way they did when prey was close. I clenched my jaw to stop myself from making a sound. Daryl needed the silence. Felt like my heart was racing loud enough to ruin it for him.
I held my breath as sounds of a struggle filled the tunnel. The snap of an undead jaw. The crack of a skull. Another grunt, but the dead had gone silent. Something heavy dropped to the ground.
"Are you okay?" I asked when I couldn't stand not knowing anymore.
"Yeah, it's down."
"You didn't get bit?"
"No, I didn't get bit. I'm all good." He wasn't lying to me. I didn't need to be able to see him to know that. The tightness in my chest eased up. His boots scuffed against the floor as he tried to find his way back to me.
"You're close, I can hear ya," I reached out toward him, leaning out into the pitch-black. Daryl heard me moving.
"Don't you dare try to stand on that foot," he said.
"Just a handstand, then?"
"Smartass." I could hear the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. The affection in his eyes, even if he couldn't see me.
He brushed up against my outstretched hand, and then his hand found mine in the dark. As he crouched down next to me again, I squeezed it. He squeezed back. How many times had his hand in mine been a lifeline? Everything was fine and would always be fine as long as his hand was in mine.
Daryl sat down beside me, his leg pressed right up against mine. It wasn't close enough. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, mine around his, both of us pulling me closer to him. I slid into his lap again. Neither of us could relax until we were as close as physically possible. I curled up against his chest, his chin rested on top of my head.
"I…uh," he cleared his throat. "Noticed you still got that ring on."
"Of course I do," I said, not understanding the heaviness in his voice. "Bastards tried to get off me after I cut someone with it when I backhanded 'em, but… I got it back."
Daryl swallowed, something changed in the rise and fall of his breathing against me. Nerves. He was nervous. "I thought… I thought maybe you… Does that mean you ain't… mad at me?"
He sounded so small when he said it. Like when we were kids, and he'd accidentally broken something of mine. He'd looked so scared, as if I was about to get as mad at him as his Daddy would've. Or disappear on him, not want to be his friend anymore. That little boy had grown but he was still waiting for people to leave him.
"I ain't mad at you," I said, just like I'd said it back then. "It was an accident."
"But Mia," he said, his voice breaking under the weight of his guilt. "It was my fault, I got her hurt… I didn't… I wasn't…"
"It's okay," I said, sitting up straighter so I could hug him. I wished he could see me, see that it really was okay.
"It's not," he said, but as I pulled my arms tighter around him, he let his chin rest on my shoulder.
"What happened with Mia… that's every parent's worst nightmare," I said, "and yeah, I was mad, I needed some time, but when I walked away… I wasn't walking out on you. Or giving up on us."
"Really?" he said into my shoulder. "'Cause I'd understand if you never wanted me near her again. And if you wanted to leave me, I'd… I'd…"
It was a sentence he couldn't bring himself to finish.
"It wasn't your fault." Slowly, I moved back a little, letting one of my hands touch his face. His warm cheek against my palm, his hot tears slipping down my fingers. "It wasn't your fault."
"'Cause I'd still have come for ya," he said. "Even if… even if you wanted nothing to do with me when I got you home. Even if you banned me from seeing Mia, I'd still have…"
"I know you would," I said, my heart aching with the truth of it. Daryl's loyalty was second to none. Merle had been awful to him, but Daryl had always dropped everything to help him out. "But I'd never… use you like that."
My heart broke a little that he thought I could. But I got why, and it was nothing to do with me. Or us. He didn't say anything, but I felt him nod.
"I love you. I'll always love you," I said. A broken sob escaped him, but I felt him melt against me. His head sank down onto my shoulder. "And even if something really awful happened and you and I were over. Even if we were fighting like cats and dogs, I'd never keep your children from you."
"I love you, angel," he whispered. "I missed you so much, baby, you got no idea."
"I know, I know," I murmured, running a hand through his hair, same as he'd done to me when I'd been waking up. I hoped he found it as gentle, as comforting as I had. Because I did know how hard it had been when we were apart, but it would have been much harder on him. At least I'd known he was still alive. "I'd never want to leave you. You're everything to me, you know that right?"
For a moment he didn't say anything, but I knew he was digesting it. Fighting with that part of his brain that told him he wasn't worth sticking around for. He lifted his head from my shoulder, kissed my face. I think he was aiming for my forehead, but he couldn't see me so his lips landed beside my eye instead.
"Yeah. Yeah I know," he said gruffly.
"Til death do us part, remember," I said. "And even after that, I'm gonna haunt you."
"Technically, you ain't married me yet," he said. But I knew he was smiling.
"Like that'll stop me," I said and felt his huff of a laugh. I didn't tell him I'd already been referring to him as my husband or started using his name as mine. Maybe he wasn't ready for that yet. I'd have to rein myself in.
Daryl was quiet for a moment. Head on my shoulder. His face nuzzled against my neck and then he pulled back a little. "Children, huh?"
Ooops.
"Well, um…" My heart was suddenly in my throat, my mouth dry. "Yeah… I… I know last time we talked about it I was… we were… um…"
"It's okay, angel. I know," he said quietly.
"You do?" My draw dropped. Maybe that little bump wasn't as little as I thought. Maybe he'd felt it the moment he'd hugged me. Maybe someone had told him when he was getting us out. I'd assumed the others would still have been sedated like I was, but maybe not.
"Yeah. I found your list."
List?
What…?
Oh.
"Oh…" It felt like three lifetimes since I'd sat down and drawn up a pro-con list about adding to our family.
"I wasn't snooping or anything," Daryl said hurriedly. "I just… it was when you first went missing, and I thought I might find somethin' that would tell me where you went…where you were headed before…."
"It's okay, I don't mind," I almost laughed at how much he was trying to excuse himself. Like he'd been caught reading my diary. "I was always planning on showing it to you."
"It was wrong, though," he said, "your list."
"It wasn't. I was very thorough."
Daryl took a deep breath. One of the ones he takes right before he has to say something he'd rather keep in. I waited, my nervous heart sinking into dread. I knew not to push him; he'd open up in his own time and in his own way. That didn't stop my mind from spinning out.
"You said that even if something happened to you, it'd be okay because I'd be there for our family…but it wasn't okay. I…fell apart… I couldn't-" I could hear the shame in his voice, stopping him from going any further. Even though I knew I hadn't caused him this level of pain deliberately, my heart still ached with it. "I didn't do right by Mia."
"I don't believe that for a second," I said. I didn't want to dismiss what he was feeling so easily, but every word Mia had said about him on the radio had been nothing but glowing.
She called you her Dad.
"When you first went missin' I was out looking for you every day," he said, which did nothing to ease my heartache. "I wasn't there for her, and… at night I couldn't sleep right. I couldn't… I started drinking. Merle's shit."
That hooch has so much to answer for.
"Oh, Daryl," I said softly, dread creeping in. I had a horrible feeling that I knew where this was going. I wished I could see him, but I knew the total darkness was helping him say what he needed to.
"Gets worse," he said with a heavy sigh. I squeezed his hand. "Everyone was round at Sanctuary one night; tryna help me even though I was being an ass. They started toasting you, talking about you like you were dead and gone."
"A fair assumption, given the evidence," I said gently, although my insides squirmed at the idea. There was an edge to his voice like he was still mad about it.
"I sent Mia to her room and I…lost it," he said. He sounded so ashamed. My heart clenched. "I was yelling at Rick, tryna get him to fight me just so I had something to punch. I was throwing shit, and Mia… she hadn't left. She saw. She didn't get hurt or anything, but I… I scared her."
"You didn't," I said, because while I was sure it had spooked Mia to see him like that, I knew it wasn't the kind of fear he was talking about. His Daddy had been dangerous in that kind of state, Little Daryl would've feared for his life seeing Mr Dixon like that. Mia, I was sure, would have been scared for Daryl. Not of him.
"I did. You wouldn't be so nice about it if you'd seen her."
I took a beat, squeezed his hand. "What did you do after? When you realized she'd seen you. What did you do?"
Daryl swallowed. "I apologized to her. Swore it would never happen again."
"And did it?"
"No. Of course not."
"You messed up, but you made it right," I said. "You didn't hurt her or make her feel bad. You didn't lash out at her. You ain't him."
I didn't have to clarify who I meant. Daryl tensed all the same. "It was exactly like…"
"Your old man ever apologize to you?" I asked, knowing full well how that scene would have played out if Little Daryl had stumbled on a drunk and angry Mr Dixon.
Daryl shifted like his back was bugging him. "No."
"Mia called you Dad," I said. "On the radio. Don't think she noticed, it just…happened."
"Yeah, she's been…trying it out, I guess," he said. I knew he'd be beet red if I could have seen him.
"If you'd scared her, she wouldn't be doing that," I said. "I know what that word means to her, and she wouldn't use it unless you made her feel safe. Loved."
Daryl was quiet for a moment. I hoped he was taking it in. I hoped he believed me, and knew he was deserving of it. Especially because someone else would be calling him Dad pretty soon.
Shit.
What if he doesn't want this anymore?
I'd blindly assumed that Daryl would be over the moon about our baby, but he sounded so…
"She, uh," Daryl hesitated, "started calling you Mom, too."
It knocked the wind right out of me. Daryl held me tighter as he felt the shock of it pass through me. For a full minute, I couldn't speak. I kept trying to, but only a sob would come out.
"I know," he said quietly in my ear. "I know."
"She…? She…?"
"She's a little worried about it now that you're not… now that you're back," Daryl said when it became clear I might never form another coherent sentence again. "I think she's scared you won't like it or you'll… y'know.."
"That's… that's…no. No… I'd never… I can't believe she…"
"I know," he murmured, his hand in my hair again. "I know."
"I love her so much," I said.
A loud rumble drowned out whatever Daryl said next. His arms tensed around me at the sound of cascading rocks. Fear gripped both of us as tightly as we held each other. Was it another cave-in? Aftershocks from whatever had caused the last one could have rattled a whole lot loose.
A second later, daylight flooded in, burning bright after such darkness. It fell across Daryl's face. I'd missed that face, dreamed of that face night and day…and I still got butterflies when his eyes met mine. My heart still somersaulted into those baby blues.
God, did he somehow get even more handsome while I was away?
"There she is," Daryl whispered, his eyes scanning my face, his disbelief matching mine. His hands cupped my face, a thumb caressing my cheek, "There's my girl."
Oh my god hurry up and kiss me already.
"You guys okay in there?" Bryce's voice shouted down to us.
Reluctantly, I turned around to look at the gap in the wall of rock that our rescuers had managed to dig out. Not wanting to seem ungrateful about it by asking them all to give us a little while longer, I said, "All good. You okay?"
"Naomi!" he yelled "You're awake?!"
"God, I hope so," I said, looking back at Daryl. His ears went red when I smiled at him. Those eyes were shining with something that made my stomach flip.
"Hold tight," Rick said. "We'll have you out in no time."
"We're all good," Daryl called back, his fingers under my chin gently tilting my head up toward his.
Tell him.
This might be the last time we're alone for a while.
It seemed like he'd had the same thought because before his name could form on my lips, he'd caught them with his. His kiss blew every thought right out of my head.
We kissed like we'd been starved and then handed our favorite meal. Slow at first, savoring that first taste. Cautious, like someone might take it away again. And then the hunger took over and time stood still.
Too soon, he pulled back. Dazed, I blinked at him.
"Daryl…I'm…"
"C'mon," he said. "Lemme get you out of here."
"I can hop." I protested as he picked me up.
"Like hell you can," he grumbled. I didn't fight him on it. Any excuse to be close to him, I'd take it.
My arms still wrapped around his neck, Daryl picked me up and carried me out into the light.
Daryl
I couldn't stop staring at her.
It was like everyone else had melted into the background. Even as they crowded around her, welcoming her home, she was all I could focus on. So long thinking she was dead, and now the others felt like ghosts.
I kept my hand on the small of her back, even as a sobbing Bryce hugged her close. Told myself it was to keep her steady while she balanced on her one good leg. But really it was to keep myself steady. Reassuring myself she was actually there.
The other captives had started waking up, too - slow and groggy. We made sure Denise checked Amber over first. Part of me wanted to demand she looked at Naomi's foot, but given Amber's pregnancy, I understood the urgency.
Naomi, predictably, was acting like her broken foot was nothing more than a minor inconvenience. Pretty quickly, she was sitting on the hillside, asking about the other ways into the mines that we'd found.
"You want to go back?" Bryce asked, incredulous, especially after what we'd just been through to get her out. He looked like he was about to tell Denise to treat her for Stockholm Syndrome.
"No," she said. "God, no. But they're keeping kids down there in one of the caves."
"The fuck for?" I asked.
"They think raising them that way will help them be stronger," Naomi said, looking sick just talking about it. "They release Walkers in there with them as a kinda…survival of the fittest thing. It's…"
She shuddered. A cold passed through all of us. Rick was the first to pull himself together, "I'll head out with a group and check. If we can find them and get them out, we will. But, whatever triggered that cave-in was big. The mine will be unstable, I can't promise we'll find a way through."
"Yeah," she said, her voice heavy. "There might be nothing left to find. The whole bunker was rigged with explosives."
"What?" I wouldn't have minded if the whole thing had gone up in smoke, but the thought of her living under explosives for months made me think I'd let the Colonel off too lightly. "Why?"
"I don't know," she said. "There's another bunker somewhere. Maybe a whole network of them. Could be some way of protecting the other locations by destroying one so the others can't be found. Either that, or he was planning on killing them all once the kids had been deemed strong enough to survive on their own. He kept talking about the next generation 'inheriting'… like they'd be alone out here."
"Do you think that's what it was?" Rick asked. I regretted not killing the Colonel quicker. I'd wanted him to suffer, but had his last act been to take everyone else with him?
"Maybe. Or maybe he had other explosives around the exits," she said. "To seal them off properly if they were ever found. Keep us out."
Rick put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "We'll see what we can do."
He glanced at me. I think he was about to ask if I was coming with him, but one look at the way I was glued to Naomi's side and he decided against it. I caught the slight smirk on his face before he left us to see who he could rally to take another look at the mines. I watched him go, weighing up whether or not to go with him, even just to give Naomi a break from me hovering around her like a damn fly. Sure that it must be bugging her by now, I told myself to get a grip and step away. But then she turned her head and smiled at me, and I swear my heart stopped for a moment.
God, did she somehow get even prettier down there?
She closed her eyes for a moment, still smiling, "God, I don't remember the last time I felt the wind."
"C'mon," I managed to say even though it felt like my tongue had grown twice the size out of nerves. Nerves. Over a girl I'd known since I was seven. I'd long since given up hope that she'd one day not have that effect on me. "Denise is finished with Sherry now. Let's get her to take a look at that foot."
"All right," she nodded and started to stand. I slipped my arm around her for support. She leaned on me as we made our way to the makeshift medical clinic that Denise was operating from the back of one of our vehicles. She and Tara had driven over after Rick had radioed to let them know we were out and where we'd emerged from the mines.
"Did Amber know all of that?" I asked. "About the kids?"
"I kept it from her for a while," she said. "But…she found out eventually."
"Can't imagine how scary that was for her," I said. "With her own little one on the way."
"Yeah," Naomi said, and for once, I didn't understand the look she gave me. A laugh that seemed out of place. "You got no idea."
Before I could decipher the look on her face, Denise had cleared a space for Naomi to sit up in the back of one of our pickup trucks with her injured foot stretched out in front of her.
"How's it feeling?" Denise asked as she slowly unwrapped the bandages around her foot.
"It's been worse," Naomi said, and I started wondering if she'd give more helpful answers if I backed away.
"Do you know which bone is broken?"
"Um, no," Naomi glanced over at me. "It's a few."
"Do you know how many?" she asked. Naomi gave me another nervous glance. I clenched my jaw, clenched my fists, clenched everything to stop myself from reacting so she didn't banish me.
"I… lost track."
The last bandage peeled away from her foot. Swollen skin underneath was so dark purple in places it was almost black. I couldn't hold back, "Fucking Hell, Naomi."
"I know," Naomi said quietly, her hand reaching for mine again. "But I'm okay now."
"I'll see what painkillers we have," Denise said, also shooting a nervous glance in my direction. She stepped back, opening up the front of the truck to search one of the medical bags. I drew closer to Naomi.
"You said they weren't hurting you down there." I tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but it came out as one all the same.
"They weren't," she said. "... until they were."
"Because of us?"
"Because of them," she said. "Because of him. The things they were doing down there…"
Naomi shook her head. I knew she was thinking about the kids again.
"Can't save everyone, angel," I said. It seemed unlikely we'd find another way in. Even if we did, I was prepared to fight her if she tried to go back.
But all she said was, "I know."
It sounded sad, but I was surprised by the lack of resistance she put up. The hand that wasn't holding mine fidgeted nervously in her lap, coming to rest on her stomach. The truck door closed again, and Denise came back, holding out a few white pills and a bottle of something.
"I don't have a lot of painkillers," Denise said apologetically. "You might want to wash them down with this. It'll help numb you."
Naomi stared at the bottle of alcohol like Denise had handed her a bottle of bleach and told her to drink it. "It's really not so bad."
"Maybe not right now," Denise said. "But I'm going to try and strap it up, make sure the bones are set properly. It's going to hurt."
Naomi didn't move. She froze up. Denise looked at me, her eyes begging me to help her out.
"Drink," I told Naomi, "It'll help."
"I…I um…" she glanced at Denise and then at me. Something had got her rattled, extremely nervous. I took both of her hands in mine.
"Is it…is it because of what they gave you in there?" I asked. "If it's anything other than what they said, we'll deal with it, okay? I got you."
I'd been trying to reassure her, but tears welled in her eyes. Denise stepped in to back me up. "Whatever sedative they gave you will be working its way out of your system. It shouldn't react with a small amount of alcohol."
"And if it ain't just a sedative they gave you," I said. Nice as Denise had been to reassure her, I knew she didn't know the depth of Naomi's fear around this kind of stuff. "It'll be okay. We know the signs. We know how to deal with it. Ain't gonna make you her."
I didn't need to clarify who I meant.
"Daryl…" Naomi's face crumpled a little. Her eyes locked on mine. There was so much in the way she was looking at me. Whatever she was afraid of, whatever was coming, I'd hold her hand through all of it. Withdrawal, sickness, whatever. I'd be there.
"Daryl!" Rick called.
Not now, man.
I turned to look over at him, making sure it wasn't some kind of disaster that would require us to make a quick exit out of here. He wasn't running. Nobody was following him. "Gimme a moment."
"It's okay," Naomi said when I looked back at her, taking a deep breath to collect herself. Whatever had been going on, she seemed to have steadied herself. "Go see what he wants. Denise has got me."
I hesitated. "You're gonna do what the Doctor says?"
"I'm gonna do what's best, medically," she said. "I promise."
"Alright," I said, but I couldn't shake the feeling she'd laid some kind of word trap I didn't understand. I looked over at Denise again.
"I'll look after her," she said before I could say anything else. I nodded, gave Naomi's hands one last squeeze before I let go and walked over to Rick.
Bryce was with him, but I couldn't see any of the others who'd gone to check for a way to help the kids.
"You find a way in?" I asked them.
"No," Rick said. "I've checked the east side and every entrance we'd mapped is blocked off. Glenn and Dwight are checking some others, but so far, it's been the same for them. No way in, and no way out that we can see."
"Think it's the same for all of them?"
"I think so," Rick nodded. "Either the bunker's gone in a blast big enough to take down most of the mine with it, or Naomi's right and they had some kind of failsafe in place to block all exits in the event they were found."
"She doing okay?" Bryce asked, his gaze moving to look behind me. I glanced back over my shoulder at where Denise was wrapping Naomi's foot again in some kind of makeshift splint. No more arguing over medication.
Thank God.
"Yeah," I said. "Sooner we can get her home the better."
"Think you can wait a day?" Rick said. "I think we should take alternate routes back, maybe stay somewhere else overnight, and make sure we're not followed."
"If you can't get in, they ain't getting out," I said.
"Unless they use the overground entrance we went in via," Bryce said. "But we can't check that compound without them knowing. They'll be alert to it."
"If they are still in there, checking the overground entrance is a suicide mission," Rick agreed. "No way they'll let us near."
"Fine," I agreed with a nod. "We split up, check nobody's following us and meet back at Hilltop tomorrow?"
"We'll see if the others manage to find another way in there," Rick said. "But otherwise, yeah, that's the plan."
It wasn't ideal, but it made sense. As much as I wanted to see Mia and Naomi reunited, I wouldn't risk bringing those nutjobs anywhere near Mia. I headed back to Naomi, unsure how to break that news to her. Denise had just finished tightly re-bandaging her foot. Her toes bound to each other, the whole foot looked more difficult to move now. But that was probably best, making sure bones healed in the right places.
God, I want to kill that man all over again.
"Best I can do until we get her back to Hilltop," Denise said before I could even ask.
"Right," I said, ready to scrap everything I'd just agreed on with Rick.
Naomi looked up at me; she was taking deep breaths; the pain must have been a lot, even with Denise's painkillers and alcohol. "What's the plan?"
"Need to make sure we ain't followed. We don't wanna risk anything, so we're not heading back straight away," I said. I saw the disappointment in Naomi's eyes, although she tried to hide it with a nod. I glanced back at Denise. "That okay?"
"Yes," she said, packing things back into her med kit. "She did great, but when you get to Hilltop, Dr Carson should see you."
"I know," Naomi said. I touched her shoulder, felt a jolt pass through me as I did. "You okay waiting another day to see Mia?"
"It sucks," she said. "But it's only one more day. And we can talk to her tonight, right?"
Part of her was still stuck in that bunker routine of only being able to talk to us at certain times. I unclipped my walkie from my belt and passed it to her. "Why wait? She'll be excited to hear an update. Even more so if it comes from you."
"Hilltop," Naomi said, a big smile already spreading over her face. "Do you read me?"
The noise that came back was more of an incoherent scream than anything else. And a lot of crying. From both of them. Naomi was better at translating Mia-squeals than I was because somehow she decoded it enough to say, "Yeah, it's me. I'm out. I'm alright. Are you okay, sweetie? I can't wait to see you."
More high-pitched babbling from Mia, Naomi looked over at me with a smile. "Yeah, he's good too. He's right here."
Mia said something shorter, mixed with a laugh that made Naomi's smile get even bigger.
"Yeah, he's the best," Naomi said, still grinning at me.
Nope.
I ducked away, let them catch up. Couldn't cope with overhearing anything else about myself.
The others returned. Even with Dwight's knowledge of a few other exits, they hadn't been able to find a single way in that wasn't now blocked. I wondered if that made it more or less likely that it was explosives around the exits that had blown rather than the whole bunker. I sat with Rick while we worked out what groups to split into and where to go for the night.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. Naomi. On the move. Tara had given her a shovel from the allotments, and she was using it as a crutch. She held the walkie out to me, "Mia wants to say hi."
"Hey, Mia," I took it from her, "Sorry you gotta wait another day."
"It's okay, I'm just happy you got her," Mia said. It was the happiest I'd heard her sound in months. She paused for a moment and then laughed. "I'll see you both tomorrow. Bet she says I've grown."
"Oh yeah? What you betting?"
"Um…" Mia thought about it for a second. "One Hilltop egg."
"You're on," I said. "See you tomorrow. Love you."
"Love you, too," I said and switched the radio off. When I looked over at Naomi again, she was beaming at me. I tried to stop myself from going red, but echoes of everything she'd said in the tunnels rang in my ears. "We'll head off soon."
"Just us?" she asked. Something about it tugged hard at my heart. She asked it, so… hopeful. But, also, a little nervous. It made my stomach do backflips.
"I mean… it'll be… a few of us probably, but… we'll… y'know…" I said. She nodded even though what I'd said had amounted to nothing but a stuttering mess and even I wasn't sure what I'd been trying to say.
Did she always make me this goddamn nervous?
Why is she so nervous?
Maybe it was because we hadn't had much time by ourselves yet. Other than a little time in the tunnels, we were surrounded by people. Good people. Nice, but not… 'just us'.
"Ready to go?" Bryce asked us. "It'll be dark in a few hours. Rick says we should head out soon."
I nodded, and took my bike keys out of my pocket. I passed them to him, "Take this for me, will ya?"
Bryce stared at me like I'd given him a kidney. His jaw dropped. "You… you want me to take your bike?"
"You mind?" I asked.
"No," he said, unable to wipe the surprise off his face.
"Thanks, man," I said.
I could feel Naomi staring at me too, but she was nice enough not to give me shit until Bryce had gone to get on my bike, "You ain't taking the bike?"
"Ain't getting you on the back of a bike with that busted foot," I said, my arm slipping around her waist.
"I could try," she protested, a sly grin spreading over her face. "Or we could… travel separately."
"Not a chance," I said. She laughed.
The car journey with Glenn, Tara, and Denise didn't give us any time to ourselves either. But it was enough to sit next to her. To be able to look over at her and see that smile. To reach out and touch her hand.
Our group headed south for a while, and then we drove deep into the woods. Didn't seem like anyone was following us. Except Bryce on my bike. Driving real careful.
We found a clearing off the beaten track in the shadow of a small hill. It was getting dark by the time we pulled over. I shot a couple of squirrels for dinner while the tents were set up. Passed them to Tara when I got back because I thought Naomi would be pushing herself too hard on her busted foot trying to be helpful. But when I went looking for her, I found she wasn't with any of them. She was making her way up the hill on her makeshift crutch.
Take your eyes off the girl for one damn minute…
Thankfully, she was pretty damn slow, and I caught up to her as she came to a stop at the top of the hill. She sat down in the grass, turning like she'd been waiting for me.
"What the hell Naomi?"
"Mad I beat you up here?" she grinned, patting a patch of grass beside her.
"Pfft," I huffed. "Ain't a race if you don't tell the other person you're in one."
"C'mon now," she said. "I'm working at a disadvantage here, you can't let me have a little head start?"
She clearly had no intention of moving. I sighed and sat down next to her.
"You ain't hungry?" I asked. "You should eat."
"I know," she said. That look was back in her eyes, those nerves. "I will. But… can we sit a minute?"
"Sure," I said. Naomi leaned against me, her head on my shoulder, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. "You doin' okay?"
Why is she so nervous?
Maybe it was too much being out here after so long underground, mostly on her own. Too many people around, maybe? I mean, she'd almost lost it when she felt some damn wind. From here, you could see the firelight of our camp. Smell the squirrels cooking. Indistinct chatter and laughter. It was nice, quiet, but the kind of thing I usually enjoyed more than she did.
"Daryl?" she said, lifting her head from my shoulder to look at me. I looked back at her. Our eyes met, and something changed in hers. A steadiness. "I'm pregnant."
Two words changed the world under my feet.
I stared at her. Blinking like I hadn't heard right, but I knew I had. What else could it be?
"It's yours," she said, quickly, before my mind could jump to the worst things that could have happened to her in there. "I mean…obviously it's yours, I just… I was pregnant when I fell in that lake. I didn't know or anything. I… I wasn't keeping it from you."
My silence was making her talk a million miles an hour. I knew I should say something. Anything. But it was all so tangled up, and I couldn't catch my breath.
"I'm pretty sure it was that night I tried to surprise you by inviting everyone round and I'd made that… Merle's recipe for home-brew hooch and we… well, we got a little…" she was still talking, tripping over her words while I stared at her. I couldn't take in everything she was saying. I remembered the night. Kind of. Enough to not be surprised we'd forgotten something.
God, Merle would have gotten a kick out of all this.
I'd wanted this. So badly, I'd wanted a family to call my own. One that… wanted me as much as I did them. Spent so many years thinking it wasn't possible for a guy like me that I had squashed it deep down inside where it wouldn't bug me. Finding Naomi and her somehow falling in love with me, slowly building a family with her and Mia had been nothing short of a miracle.
But this…
THIS?
My heart was racing faster than Naomi was talking. Spinning over and over in my chest like a singular thought - what if I'm not good enough for this?
"I didn't know until they… tested me down there. And I was so sick and so scared it would make me lose the baby, but it didn't," she said. She'd started crying. Her hands were shaking. I tried to steady them, but mine were shaking too. "I didn't know how they survived all of that, but they did. I didn't… fuck it up. They're so strong, Daryl."
'Course they are. Look at their Momma.
And suddenly it was all right. The fear was still there, but…so was she. Didn't matter that I was worried about what kind of Dad I'd be. Or how we'd raise a baby in a world as fucked up as this one.
Because look at their goddamn Momma.
"Daryl," she whispered, finally out of steam. "Please say something."
I looked at her, my girl, in the light of the moon and stars. At the top of a hill with me, far away from everyone else. Her hands in mine. A life growing inside her built from our love.
"You're a fucking miracle, you know that?" I said. My cheeks felt damp. God knows when that had happened. "Both of ya."
Both of them.
I couldn't take my eyes off her. Kept expecting something to change, or to notice something different about her now that I knew. But she was still her. My brilliant girl. Carrying my baby.
Holyfuckingshit.
She let out something between a laugh and a sob. Wiped her eyes. Something like relief relaxed her shoulders, "Are you okay?"
"Are you?"
"Yes. Yes! I'm so excited about this," she said. She meant it, too. It was radiating from her. Pretty eyes shining with it. I reached out toward her stomach and then stopped myself. Pregnant ladies didn't always like that, did they? I still couldn't believe it was Naomi I was thinking about as… pregnant. Couldn't wrap my head around it.
She saw what I'd refrained from doing and grabbed my wrist, putting my hand on her stomach. On a little bump.
"Holy shit," I whispered. "We're… we're having a baby."
"We're having a baby," she nodded, tears still shining in her eyes.
"Ain't you scared?" I asked. I'd seen her list, but everything she'd said before about pregnancy and motherhood was still true.
"Terrified," she said, and hearing her admit that calmed the last dregs of my own fear. "But… you got me right? You got us?"
Us.
Her and the baby.
My baby.
"Always," I said.
"And we got you," she said, hand covering mine across her stomach. "We're golden."
I looked down at where our hands met over the life that was growing inside her. Hers on top of mine. A scar on the back of it, made by a hotheaded dumbass who thought he was in love but had no fucking idea how deep he could fall. A ring on one of her fingers made by a man smart enough to know what he had. Neither of those versions of me knew how I'd managed to get this damn lucky.
I looked back at her, and she was looking at me like she always had. Seeing something more in me than anyone else ever did.
Mia had picked up that look too, that stubborn belief in me.
And this baby... they would look at me just the same.
I could be that man. For them, for my family, I could be anything.
