I was surprised that evening, when I woke in the middle of the night and found Erik lying beside me. I would usually go to bed, only to find Erik still sitting at his piano. There had only been a few times since we've come to the new world, that he had actually slept beside me. He lay there in his dark robe, maskless and seeming uncomfortable as he slept. From outside, I could hear the rain pounding against the roof, and a sudden flash of lightning caused the room to illuminate in a bright light. I tried to close my eyes and fall back asleep, but Erik suddenly began to toss and turn in a violent fit.For a few moments, I lay there watching him fight in his sleep, his face stricken with pain and agony.
"No!"
Erik shot up in bed, gasping for air, his hands immediately going to his neck, as if something had happened in his nightmare that questioned his very existence. I turned to my nightstand and reached for the lamp, our home becoming illuminated in a dull glow; just enough to see Erik's skeletal form sitting there beside me.
"Erik?"
He sat there gasping for air and rubbing his neck, with his eyes pressed closed.
"Erik, what's wrong?" I questioned once more.
Erik stood to his feet and waved his hand to stop me from questioning him. He slowly approached the large window that faced the ocean and stood there as he continued to catch his breath. I reached for my robe and wrapped it around me, slowly approaching him from behind as I did so.
"Erik?"
I placed my hands gently upon his shoulders, but he didn't dare move.
"Nightmares can't hurt you." I continued. "They are like pictures in a book."
"Perhaps," Erik began. "But my nightmares are far from dreams, Christine. They are memories of the past; my past."
Another crack of thunder and a flash of lightning occurred, and from that flash of lightning, I spotted a mark upon Erik's neck. It was not a scar, but a strange brand, one that was faded, but had suddenly become darker in color due to him rubbing the area.
"What happened here?" I questioned, gently touching the surface with my fingers.
"I know I haven't spoken to you about my past, Christine, but it was not a pretty one. I push these memories to the back of my mind so that I don't have to think about them. I barely sleep because they find a way to haunt me through my dreams. Though, there are times when I am so exhausted, I cannot help but close my eyes."
Erik took a seat on his piano bench and wove me a tale from his past, one that was filled with horrors."I mentioned to you before about the traveling show I was in when I was younger." He began.
"My master was an evil man, one who would torture you just for looking at him the wrong way. I was the act that made him the most money, and there were times when we would visit smaller villages, which meant lesser of a crowd, and not as much profit. During those times, to make up the loss, he would allow the patrons to poke me with sticks and throw rocks at me for an additional price."
My jaw nearly dropped, for at that moment, I could feel all the pain he had felt. How excruciating that must have been for him; how degrading and embarrassing it must have felt.
"One evening, those sticks felt like knives, and I put my head down to hide the tears of pain that were rushing to my eyes. My master took this as me hiding my face, and after the show had closed down for the evening, he pulled me to a tree. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but next thing I knew, a noose was being wrapped around my neck, and I was hauled up to my tippy toes. I was left standing there like that, struggling for air for two days. If I allowed myself to stop dancing around on my toes, I would have suffocated."
I could tell that just speaking about this was causing Erik to relive every moment. Erik's hands reached up to his neck where the mark from the noose was.
"I fought for my life, Christine." He said, fighting back tears. "And for what? Thinking back on it now, I shouldn't have been such a coward and just gave up. It would have been better than to have to suffer through endless nightmares about that night, and many others."
I didn't know what to do. Here sat a broken man, who had suffered day in and day out. Therefore, I did the only thing I knew how to do, that being to wrap my arms around his neck and embrace him. The moment I did so, I heard a small gasp, and I could feel his arms hovering over my back, but they didn't dare touch me. We stayed like that for a few moments, neither of us daring to break away.The rain had finally slowed down to a light drizzle, and the night's bleakness had brightened, if only in the slightest.
Morning was approaching, and soon, that darkness would be replaced with the blasting summer heat. It was something that I knew Erik wouldn't be able to tolerate.
"Fresh air, I believe, would do me some good." Erik said, breaking away from our embrace.
I nodded. "I could use some as well."
Without another word, we both changed out of our night clothes, and into our daily attire, Erik donning his long coat before heading out the door beside me. It was a dreary morning; still wet from the soaking rain we had gotten overnight. The boards on the boardwalk were damp, the only light being from the street lamps that lined our path.
"Besides music," Erik began in his velvety voice. "Walking is the only thing that clears my mind after a nightmare. I believe, since moving here, my walks have helped better than the ones I used to take through the halls of the opera house."
There was a moment of silence, and then, I blurted out the question that had been boggling my mind since the ring scenario.
"Does it truly mean that much to you?"
Erik raised a curious brow. "What?"
I swallowed hard, not knowing whether to continue the conversation, for I was treading on dangerous ground.
"You said that you would only wear the ring I gave you once we officially consummated our relationship. There is more to a marriage than consummation."
Erik paused from walking, and I could see the fire beginning to build up in his stare.
"Obviously," Erik coldly stated. "And you know that I would never force you to do anything that you didn't feel comfortable doing. But let me ask you this one thing, Christine; why be married to someone you wouldn't willingly invite into your bed?"
"Erik…" I tried to intervene, but he continued.
"I know that I am not some handsome prize that someone would want to willingly gaze upon, Christine, but if you could just look past this emaciated body, I know I could make you happy."
"Why do men care so much about making love?" I questioned. "Why do men find it so enjoyable?"
Erik and I began to walk again, continuing the awkward conversation I had started.
"You tell me, Christine. You were in love with the Viscount, were you not? You went willingly to his bed, and yet, you stand before me and say that you did not enjoy it. What about it did you not enjoy? His body? His mannerism? His manhood?"
I gasped at Erik's response, for how else was I supposed to feel?I shrugged. "It wasn't that at all, Erik. I just thought that my first time would be different. From the way the ballerinas used to speak about it, I thought that it was supposed to be this blissful, wonderful thing, and I felt nothing."
"It's different for everyone, I suppose."
"Then I wish to try it."
Erik stopped dead in his tracks. "What?"
"With you." I replied.
"Christine, I am not some toy that you can play with when bored and toss aside when finished with."
"I know." I said. "Prove me wrong. Prove that the experience I had with Raoul was only miserable because deep down, the love was never there."
"Christine, you don't know what you're asking."
"I do, Erik." I assured. "I know that I have feelings for you. It is only you that can bring them out of the darkness. Prove me wrong."
"Christine…"
"Have dinner with me tonight." I pleaded, taking his hand into my own. "Nothing is set in stone, Erik. Let us spend time together as a couple, and see where the night takes us. I won't hold back, if you promise to do the same."
The sun was beginning to rise, and Erik quickly changed the subject.
"I have to return to work today."
I tried to intervene, but Erik held up his hand to silence me.
"I will not put myself in danger, Christine. Tonight, I will meet you at the gates of the park at sundown."
I knew Erik would only have to continue being Mister Tillyou's contractor for a little while longer, but tonight, I would surprise him with the deal we had made.
"I will see you tonight, Erik."
With that being said, we parted ways, knowing that we would be together again soon. All throughout the day, all I could think about was what I was going to wear for our planned outing. Tonight was the night that was going to change our relationship forever, or so I thought. I must have tried on every dress I owned, not knowing which one to wear, or which one Erik would like best on me. I finally decided on the red one I owned, and wore my hair down, my curls cascading down my back.
Tonight, I was not only going to try to see Erik for someone besides my roommate, but I was also going to tell him about the music hall that Mister Tillyou was going to open. I could only hope that these two things would make him the happiest man in the world.I was just adjusting my hair in the mirror, when I heard the door open and turned to find Erik walking through the door. I was about to question why he was home, when he asked me to meet him at the gates of the park, but when I saw how filthy his clothes were from his day at work, I didn't.
He didn't even say a word as he stripped off his jacket and worked swiftly at making his way towards the tub to wash up. It was like he didn't even notice that I was in the room, for his mind was preoccupied with getting ready for our evening out. I gave him his privacy and continued finishing up with my hair, only turning to come face to face with Erik dressed in his robe. His eyes went wide with surprise when he realized that I was standing before him.
"Christine…" he choked. "You…You look…"
I smiled, for it was apparent that my hard work had taken his breath away.
"I'm sure you will look dapper yourself, once you get dressed." I teased. "Unless you were planning on going out in your robe, of course."
Erik walked past me and began rummaging through his wardrobe.
"I wouldn't dream of it, Christine."
Erik pulled out his pants and a black dress shirt before reaching out to untie the sash of his robe. He paused when he saw my eyes staring at the sash, and my cheeks turned beet red before I turned away to give him his privacy.
"Where are we going tonight?" I questioned, changing the subject.I had my back turned from him, and I could hear the sound of Erik struggling to get dressed. I slightly averted my gaze to him, as his slender fingers were struggling to fasten the buttons of his trousers.
I could hear Erik muffling curses under his breath as he pushed his black shirt into the lining of his pants, apologizing to me afterwards.
"I don't know what's wrong with me tonight."
I smiled and turned to face him, reaching out to help him fasten the top button of his crisp shirt. Our fingers touched, if only for a second before I stepped back to allow him to finish getting ready.
"I apologize for coming home before our outing." He said. "The amusement grounds were a mud pit today. I wouldn't have dreamed of taking you out to dinner looking like a disheveled gypsy."
Erik placed his mask back over his malformed face and turned to face me, taking a ragged breath as he did so.
"Well? I know I am not the Viscount, but I try to look presentable, if only in the slightest."
"Don't do that to yourself, Maestro."
"Do what?"
"Compare yourself to others." I replied. "You are perfect."
I could have sworn I saw a tear escape from the corner of his eye, but his mask made it impossible to tell. Erik grabbed his coat before heading out the door with me at his side. The sun was just setting over the ocean, and the colorful lights of the park were just coming on.
The place that Erik took me to was beyond wonderous, for it was a cute restaurant that faced the ocean, and the seating was all outside. The deck was illuminated in the glow of a hundred candles, setting the mood for couples who were seated at their tables and enjoying their meals. The sight of the ocean reminded me of my childhood home by the sea, and the candles of the opera house.
"Well?" Erik questioned. "I wanted to find somewhere special to take you."
"And you did." I replied.
We were so close to the amusement grounds, that it was not unusual to even see a few of the oddities at the restaurant as well. Erik and I were sat at a table that was illuminated by candlelight, and I adored it. The waitress poured us each a glass of wine and placed down a few menus before walking away, and I couldn't help but notice Erik's hand nervously shaking around the stem of his glass as he lifted it.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I must apologize, Christine." He began. "I've never been in the company of a beautiful woman, let alone on an outing such as this. You must forgive me for not wanting to ruin it."
"You could do no such thing, Erik." I replied. "Whenever Raoul would take me out, he would always take me to these lavish and expensive restaurants. They meant nothing to me, and I rather preferred small establishments over the ones he took me to. This place brings back fond memories, especially the ones that I shared with you at the opera house. You chose this place because it meant something to you."
"I wish things could have been different, Christine." Erik said. "I wish that we could have met under different circumstances. I feel as though we've wasted so much crucial time because of me. How badly I wanted to present myself to you as a man since the very beginning, but I couldn't. If I was born without this monstrosity of a face, there are many things I could have done."
My smile faded. "Your face does not define who you are, Erik."
"But it does, Christine. It defines how everyone else sees me. The world has made me out to be this atrocious monster, when deep down, all I wish for is to be respected. No one will ever see me as anything more."
I placed my hand over his own. "I have. If I can look past your face and love, then so can they."
Love? Erik's bottom lip quivered at the very word. Love? Had I truly just said the very word? Did I love Erik?
"Of course," Erik slipped his hand out from below my own and sighed. "How foolish of me. Please don't say that word again,Christine."
"And why not?" I questioned. "If that is how I feel, then what is the problem with saying it? Love comes in many different forms. Love doesn't just have to mean the bond between soulmates. Love also means the bond and respect between two people. I have enjoyed our time together, and I look forward to it continuing. I care deeply for you, Erik."
"There it is." Erik scoffed. "You care deeply. There is a fine line between caring and loving, Christine."
From out of his jacket, Erik's fingers trembled as he pulled out the ring box and placed it on the table beside my hand.
"I should have never accepted this to begin with. We are but a word on paper, and it will never be any different."
What was happening? One moment we were making plans to have dinner and set our emotions free, and now it was as if it were the complete opposite.
"Erik, please." I said. "I don't want to fight. I wanted to come out with you tonight to spend time with you; to get to know you better. My intentions were true, this I swear."
The argument ceased, but the remainder of our meal was eaten in silence.
"Christine…"
We were just leaving the restaurant, when Erik finally broke the silence.
"Christine, you deserve someone who makes you happy. Our contract on paper is something that I know displeases you. I apologize for the way that I acted at dinner, but you must understand that at times, I feel as though I am nothing more than this cruel person who is holding a caged bird hostage."
"I came with you willingly."
"I know this, but I also know deep down that you had no intentions of marrying me."
"Yes." I replied. "But only because I didn't know you. I married you because I needed a way out of Paris, and you were the better choice. Anything was better than losing you forever, Maestro."
Erik and I approached the railing of the boardwalk that faced the amusement park. The sights of the colorful lights and sounds of joyful screams from the attractions filled our ears.
"When you look at it," I said, changing the subject. "What do you see?"
Erik chuckled under his breath. "You would laugh at me."
"No, I would not."
"I always thought that I would one day become this respected composer. Instead, I'm working for a cruel man who could care less about me, and building attractions for him as if I'm nothing more than his monkey. I suppose it is better than showing off my face to crowds of paying customers, but music is what I want to share with the world, Christine."
I took Erik by the hand and led him into the park. I knew that it was somewhere that Erik didn't want to be, but I needed to reveal my surprise to him. I led him straight to a row of posters that were hanging on the back of a building, Erik seeming confused about why I had brought him to this very place.
"What do you see?" I questioned.
"A bunch of advertisements exploiting the freaks in that despicable show Tillyou runs three times a day."
"Look harder, Erik." I said. "Couldn't you see yourself in one of those advertisements? The Greatest Show on Earth! The astounding Mister E, and his diva, Christine! Music, beauty, and opera!"
"Those will forever be nothing more than one's hopes and dreams, Christine."
I smiled. "I wanted to tell you at dinner, but I thought that maybe having you see everything in person would have been better. I spoke to Mister Tillyou, and he agreed to open a music hall and have you as its manager."
"What?"
Erik's voice sounded like a prayer, one that was in disbelief.
"You won't have to build him attractions anymore, and I am going to be his starring diva for the hall."
Erik and I stared at one another for what seemed like forever. His stare was adoring and I knew that he couldn't have been happier.
"Why did you do this?" he questioned. "Why? Christine, I will never be able to repay you for this, not now, not ever."
I pulled out the small box that held his wedding band and placed the trinket into the palm of his cold hand.
"Christine, I said that I was only going to accept this after our first kiss."
"I know." I said, standing onto my tippy toes and closing the gap between us. I took a deep breath and pressed my lips against his own, savoring every moment of that kiss. Erik's body became stunned, but he did not recoil. He kissed me back, and from there, our passion deepened. Our wonderful first kiss had ignited a fire within us, one that I hadn't even known existed. Soon, our tongues were entwining, never being able to get enough of one another, and from that, I knew that we would never be the same again.
Thanks again, everyone for the favorites and reviews! Our favorite couple has finally kissed! What now?? Until next time! Happy Reading Everyone!
