A/N: Thanks so much for your lovely response to this story! It's been a little while since I've really whumped Deeks. I'm trying to keep the medical and concussion/TBI parts fairly accurate, but I will take some liberties.
Kensi sat there for however long it took for the tears to subside and some of the immediate grief to dampen. She felt completely rung out; exhausted in a way that went beyond the physical.
Her phone buzzed, and she pulled it out, unsurprised to see a text from Callen, asking for an update. Pushing herself up with a wince, Kensi went over to the single sink, cupping handfuls of cool water over her face. A quick check in the mirror confirmed her cheeks were blotchy and her eyes red. No one would miss that she'd been crying.
With a sigh, she dried her hands and face, finally leaving the relative privacy of the restroom to find a secluded waiting room to call Callen back.
"Kensi, how's Deeks?" Callen answered her, not wasting time on greetings.
"He's awake."
"Good."
"Deeks has amnesia," she blurted out, relieved to tell someone else.
"You're joking," Callen responded, and she snapped back,
"Would I make something like this up?"
"You wouldn't," he said carefully. "Are you sure this isn't one of Deeks' games though? You know he is."
"I thought he might have been messing with me too at first, but it's legitimate. He thinks he's still a public defender." She paused. "Callen, he didn't recognize me."
Callen paused for several seconds, then spoke in a softer, slightly uncomfortable tone. "Did the doctor give a prognosis?"
"She's seeing him now. I mean, he's alert and still Deeks…just from six years ago."
"Well that's not great," Callen sighed after another long pause. "I need to go update Hetty."
Kensi felt a surge of fury at both him and Callen. It was senseless; of course Hetty would need to know, but it seemed so callous with Deeks barely returned to consciousness.
"Let us know what the doctor says."
"Right." She started to hang up, but Callen asked,
"Hey, do you think he'd like any visitors?"
"I'll ask, but it might be too overwhelming right now since he probably won't remember any of you either."
"Right. That's going to be weird," Callen mused. He sighed loudly enough it sent a blast of static in her ear. "Ok, let us know when you need a break."
"I will," Kensi said, knowing that she wouldn't.
The doctor was still in with Deeks when she made it back to his floor. With nothing else to do, she grabbed a cup of coffee and sat on the bench at the end of the hall, sipping on the bitter drink. She kept going back to Callen's mention of Hetty.
The implications of Deeks' amnesia went so much further than just him not remembering the team. Assuming his memory loss didn't resolve quickly, he wouldn't be able to work with NCIS, or LAPD for that matter.
"Agent Blye?"
Her head snapped up, and she almost knocked her coffee from between her knees. She caught it at the last second, her hand shaking a little as she looked up into the kind, but vaguely concerned face of Dr. Lesley.
"Sorry. Hi. Is Deeks alright?"
"I just finished his exam. Mr. Deeks gave consent for me to go over the results with you," she explained. "Would you like to come to one of the conference rooms with me? The chairs are more comfortable and the coffee's better."
"Uh, sure. But don't you think Deeks should hear this too?" Kensi asked.
"I already filled him in. He was concerned he might not recall some of the details and figured you should know too."
"Oh, ok." Kensi nodded. At any other time, she would have been flattered that Deeks trusted he so quickly, but her brain had picked up on another indicator of memory loss.
She followed Dr. Lesley to a small conference room, which looked more equipped for staff meetings than patient debriefings. Dr. Lesley brought Kensi a fresh mug of coffee and a pastry from a white box before taking a seat across from Kensi.
"Alright. Based on the screenings I administered, Mr. Deeks doesn't appear to have significant cognitive deficits aside from the amnesia," Lesley explained.
"Amnesia seems pretty significant to me," Kensi observed, methodically shredding her Danish into minute pieces.
"It is. It would be worse though if he was showing signs of short-term memory loss or trouble with executive function for example, which can be present with a traumatic brain injury and concussion. He answered all of the orientation questions correctly, aside from the date. Which makes sense since memory loss of the traumatic event is extremely common and he believes it's 2006."
"What about a brain bleed or swelling? I know you said the last scans didn't show minimal damage, but could it get worse again?"
"It's a possibility," Dr. Lesley confirmed slowly. "I'll order follow up tests to confirm there haven't been any changes, but I'm not overly worried about it."
Kensi nodded, worried enough for both of them. When had anything ever followed the normal path for their team?
When she didn't say anything else, Lesley continued.
"I didn't assess his overall motor function yet since Mr. Deeks said he was experiencing some dizziness and disorientation."
"That's not surprising," Kensi muttered. It was more surprising that Deeks had been so alert. From her own injuries, she knew how debilitating a minor concussion could be.
"Do you have any questions? I know I just gave you a lot of information during an overwhelming time."
"No, I'm fine. It's just…he's my partner." To her horror, Kensi's eyes welled up again before she could even think of controlling her response. Looking down, she tried to force the tears back before it turned into full-on crying again.
She froze when Dr. Lesley laid a hand over hers, her touch cool, yet oddly comforting.
"It's alright to not be ok," she told Kensi. "You're probably used to being strong all the time, but you don't have to do this alone. Marty's in the very best of hands right now."
"Thank you," Kensi whispered. "I appreciate that."
"Of course." With a final squeeze of her hand, Dr. Lesley retreated, gathering up Deeks' file.
"Can I see Deeks now?"
"Yes, but I should warn you that he was pretty exhausted by the time I finished with him. He may be sleeping or irritable. I also ordered a liquid diet for his first meal, so if you can convince him to drink some, that would be good," Dr. Lesley said.
"I'll try, but he's pretty stubborn. I guess it's part of the reason we worked together so well," Kensi joked.
"Good. Most of my stubborn patients have something to prove. And he'll need your support to get through this."
Kensi smiled faintly, not overly reassured by the sentiment. She didn't know if Deeks would want her around once he got to know her again.
In contrast to earlier in the day, Deeks room was as dark as it could get, his bed lowered almost completely. He lay on his side, face buried in his pillow. She closed the door quietly in case he was sleeping, moving silently to the chair by his bed.
"Who's there," he muttered, making Kensi jump a little in surprise.
"It's Kensi," she whispered back. He turned his head, the slit of one eye visible in the dim light. "Go back to sleep."
"Wish I could." He sounded miserable, and as she sat down, she saw the faint lines of pain creasing his forehead. "What time is it?"
"A little after one," she answered. "Dr. Lesley said lunch should be coming soon. Maybe there'll be some lime Jello."
"Oh god no," he groaned, swallowing convulsively. "I don't even wanna think of how awful it would feel to throw up right now."
"Is there anything I can do? Do you need more pain medication?" She'd already half-risen from her seat, but he waved her back down with a limp hand.
"I just had some. Doctor's ordering Zofran." He tensed suddenly, and Kensi grabbed the plastic basin nearby, ready to hand it to him. Clenching his fists, he inhaled through his nose several times, his lips tightly clamped together before he finally relaxed again, his head falling back on the pillow. "God, this sucks," he sighed.
She hated seeing him in so much pain and discomfort. Kensi didn't know what possessed her, but before she'd fully registered the action, she'd reached out and brushed his hair back from his temple. Deeks tensed at her touch, and she started to pull back, completely embarrassed.
"Don't stop," he begged. "'S only thing that doesn't hurt right now."
Kensi stayed frozen for a few seconds while she processed the revelation that Deeks found her comforting. Slowly she slid her fingers back into his hair, carefully drawing the tips through his curls, working through the knots and tangles.
Deeks made a small sound of relief, leaning into her touch. After a few minutes, his breathing evened out as he fell asleep. She ran her knuckles across his cheek in a soft caress.
Studying his now peaceful features, she knew this was something she could and would do for him. She would be here as long as he let her. Even if he wasn't her Deeks anymore.
A/N: You didn't think I was going to let Deeks off quite that easy, did you? At least he has Kensi to take care of him.
