"Mirages appearing could be a possibility, but I doubt there are any paved roads anyway. Aside from that, any reflective surfaces I come across might probably be water. As for the hill over there so far away, you see, Eua, that's my last resort."

Subaru doubted that there would be anything at the top of the deformed hill he was headed toward—It was a bet with the chips offered being his life. If he loses, his life will be forfeit. If he wins, his life will be spared for another day. Nothing more, and nothing less. He still shuddered at the prospects of death in spite of his resolve earlier, but he was only human. An ordinary one at his current state, that is.

It didn't matter if the coin he tossed turned out to be heads or tails. A fifty-fifty percent game ensured that both chances were a result of luck—Bad luck was still luck to an extent. Even getting heads, when you have opted for tails, is a natural result of the unchangable chances you're dealt with. Though they weren't equal, good luck and bad luck have a similitude in regards to them being interchangeable outside of one's control. That is why gamblers often lose after a successive streak of wins, setting aside the fact that the casinos where they flock like herds to are rigged.

And so, before he could take a coin to test out his fortune, he sensed a presence beside him.

"You're telling me I shouldn't put my hopes on this? What you say has merit, but you never know if you don't try," With somewhat of a confident smile, Subaru glared ahead and continued speaking. "I accept either side of the coin. My fate is doomed, you see? So, I'll take advantage of any opportunity to investigate this person I want to become."

Natsuki Subaru was a subject of interest for him. He was, technically, himself. But he already abandoned that identity for someone else. Replacing the little tidbits of humanity he had left to discover Natsuki Subaru with inhuman recklessness, Subaru marched forward with a steady gait.

The black light, Eua, somehow managed to speak to him as it began flickering repeatedly. Flying in a circle. For some reason, Subaru discerned that it felt excitement. He wasn't sure how he could understand the spirit's intentions, a link between them, he sensed, allowed him to. However, a low, serene tone rang through his eardrums. A beautiful, soothing melody that translated into meaning. Into intelligible words with perfect pronunciation. The spirit had told him: Don't lift your hopes up that far. It will only destroy you.

"But you're right, though.. I shouldn't have high hopes for this. Nothing will probably go my way. It's a fifty-fifty chance, and I am the one who will gamble one of my coins to fate."

With a determined face, Subaru took out his wallet and groped around until he picked out a ten yen coin. He flipped it to the air, and…

"Heads or tails? I leave it up to you, fate."

He held out his hands to grab it, but his hands couldn't reach the fleeting coin in time. It landed on the sand, but it didn't lie on either side. It lay sideways; a spectacle amidst the many spectacles he'd seen in his years. It would probably take a one-in-a-six-thousand chance to occur. It was a result produced by neither bad luck nor good luck. What was it that the world has prepared for him?

"Am I out of luck or am I saved?"

Subaru's throat constricted tightly as his shoulders trembled. It didn't go his way. Not heads, not tails. Even that didn't go his way. He didn't bother to take the coin with him as he set off with steps that stamped the sand beneath him. And so, the soothing melody rang once more. Comforting him, and encouraging him to step forward with a calmer gait.

"No problems there, Eua. I will continue regardless of whether it is a dead end or not."

Subaru persevered through the scorching heat as he scavenged for reflective surfaces, damp spots, and even tried to look for any cacti to use as a water source—A decision influenced by the online videos he would casually watch; killing two birds with one stone in the process—yet to no avail, found nothing but oddly-shaped rocks. Even going as far as to adopt a principle of 'going one step at a time', it ended up boiled down to not giving any help to his cause. Simple as it was, he wasted time, aware that it was ticking till the moment his heart clamps. Damp spots were like pots of pure gold in this wasteland. No rain and no humidity; it is only natural that the possibility of finding them is as low as it can get, even breaking through the thousandth fractions. Regardless, he strove to find something on his way to the great hill. It might be minute and insignificant. It might end up being of no use. He'll just have to grasp onto it no matter what. A step forward, a reward gained. Enduring the hardships packed within, he searched and deviated from his path and left no stone unturned in spite of the serene voice discouraging him from doing so. His body moved on its own, strained its muscles and heaved the boulders in its way, Drifting by the wind, it found its way into a dead end time and time again. Nothing found, nothing gained. It limped forward. Almost it continued to move driven by an arrogant will. It stood tall, dusted off the sand, and attempted to regain its dignity. Over and over again, recounting its steps and, at the last turn of fate, proceeded to head towards the hill. Snapped back to reality, his eyes absentmindedly followed a black haze flying in a circle before him.

Blinking a few times, Subaru refocused his sight. Everything became clearer. He stood, his head heavy, as the landscape stretched on and the hill he was headed toward got farther away—It was more accurate to say that, lured by a scent of purpose, he veered too far off course.

"Hoy, Eua. Found anything yet?"

Subaru spoke to the spirit accompanying him in hopes it found anything noteworthy. However, to his dismay, Eua seemed to have given up. An out of tune melody sounded within his eardrums, translating into: I found nothing yet. Maybe you should stop looking for damp spots and move on. Time is ticking, right?

"Time is ticking… Right. I can't remain like this any longer."

Convinced with Eua's minor suggestion, Subaru straightened his back and lightly slapped his face. Subaru came to the conclusion that he should instead focus on something else such as reflective surfaces. Again, they are easy to spot especially under the sunshine.

"Must be the afternoon already. And my progress went nowhere."

How long has passed since he began sweating from the unbelievable heat? The temperature was cool in the morning. Accompanied by the sudden shift in heat, he took off his tracksuit in a timely manner and set it upon his shoulder.

"Even if we divert our plans for the time being, we shouldn't give up entirely." Subaru shielded the back of his neck with his free hand, observing the landscape for anything slightly reflective. It was an ineffective, futile, fruitless and reckless way of finding anything, since the wasteland is completely barren and devoid of life, but it was one of the two last resorts he had. He would die with his goal unfulfilled. To return back to being Natsuki Subaru, the real him, he had to tackle this with his might.

A goal, once reached, that would make him content with death.

"…"

Death still made him shudder, but Subaru wanted to rise above that in a land that ensured his timed demise. Hunger and thirst burdened him, but he endured the dismal emptiness in his stomach. He had to take the extra mile because no one would ever take it for him. He had to take the lead himself, do something of his own accord, and own up to the consequences. It was all easier said than done, he concluded, however he did not want to be pathetic. He did not desire weakness. He sought strength. Strength in soul and body.

"I have to. I have to take that step forward. Even if the world is against me." He placed a palm over his face, contorted with conceitedness, as he whispered to no one. "I need to discover my true face."

The more he observed the landscape, the more the roots of his disappointment grew deeper. No life roamed this wasteland as far as the eye could see. There were no signs of civilizations. No signs of how anything in this wasteland worked. Even after hours of scavenging through every nook and cranny—from rock structure to rock structure, to boulder to boulder—he still couldn't find a single shred of any evidence that anything lived here, not even simple plants like cacti. Devoid of any life and quiet it was.

He then shifted his attention to his ghostly companion, resting on top of his right shoulder.

"I understand why you told me to not have high hopes. I am just going to focus on those hills, and what lays at the top. Water, treasure, food…whatever it might be. I hope there will be something. Since it's my last resort."

The deformed hill he neared step by step happened to be the highest of all the hills he saw prior to his summons on closer observations. That concluded swiftly, Subaru disregarded his search for any signs of water entirely and headed for the hill. The sunlight harshened, and the wind would stop moving in ten-minute intervals though it didn't serve much help. He took in the scenery and observed it thoroughly. Studying the structures, familiarizing himself with the wasteland. A disfigured smooth structure and a jagged one. The sand of minuscule size that formed this land, the soul of the desert, caused a humbling sensation to arise.

Subaru rejected it. He did not need to rest. He did not need sentimentalities. Would anyone take his place? Would anyone share in his suffering? No one would. He had to take this on himself. To be the best him, and to rise above the status of a leeching parasite, only he would have to struggle. That is his responsibility—Only his.

"…Hah."

Clenching his teeth, he powered through the soreness of his legs. His muscles constricted further. He moved forward. His lungs were exhausted, his throat dry as heavy breaths escaped under his mouth. The sweat that accumulated eventually dried out by a strong rush of warm wind. He fought against his struggling body, tackling it and subduing its pain. It had no such right to be tired after many months of idleness. Even the neverending emptiness mingling with bile deep within his stomach was nothing more than the expected reaction of a spoiled brat.

Nothing more than an excuse to move forward.

"Hah…hah…"

The back of his mind blanked out. A wall approached him second by second as the clutches of heat were pried away from him. Snapping out of it, a tall structure towered over him, halting before colliding with the rock face. He reached his destination at last.

"Ahh…"

Subaru sat on a nearby boulderstone, resting his head on his palm. The irritating noise of plastic pressing against the stone flipped a switch. He needed sustenance for the time being. "As much as I hate this, I will…eat." He grabbed what remained of the potato chips and ate them hurriedly, leaving only the cup noodle.

"Eua, have you spotted anything of worth?"

Eua innocently revolved around his torso, oblivious to his question. It hadn't even responded to him through the melodies that would magically translate into words in his ears. Releasing his fist, Subaru found his soul calming down.

"How can you be so laid-back like this? Is it that you don't have a goal to achieve or something? Or am I that boring to you?"

Ignoring his barrage of questions, the spirit continued to revolve around him without a thought in the world. It was an amusing sight, making him laugh slightly.

"What I need to do now is climb up these hills. Seems like a piece of work."

Subaru gazed at the odd hill—a portion of it seemed like a mound before it a slope and a portion of it stood tall—inquisitively. He examined it from every angle, looking for a suitable place to start climbing as he conversed with Eua. A beautiful melody would sound back and forth directly within his ears; a melody that he would never tire of. He would respond back with a quip or two. It detracted him from overthinking, he thought.

The fact that Eua was a spirit allowed him to speak more openly and honestly. It wouldn't compare to a human being in appearance, but it substituted that with something greater; the ability to understand and respond. The spirit emanated a pleasant sensation, comforting him as they conversed.

"What do you think this world is like? Is there more to it or would this fall under the genres of survival thriller or something?."

He heard an out of tune, simplistic melody, conveying confusion. It immediately translated into: What does that word, genre, mean?

"Genre? It's sorta like a collection of categories of stories. A story of the adventure genre would feature dangerous journeys where chances of life and death are equally balanced. A story of the drama genre would feature exciting, yet emotional scenes that manipulate you into feeling a certain emotion. Or a story of the mystery genre would feature puzzles, clues, most often murder cases and deduction games for the characters in it and the viewers. Do you follow? It's that sort of thing that varies into many different branches in the entertainment world."

Another mellow melody that conveyed both satisfaction and curiosity sounded, the frequency adjusting into coherent words once more: If you know so much, then couldn't you tell me a short story?

"A short story, huh? Let me think… Maybe this one…" Subaru thought of retelling ghost stories he was told since he was a child, but he decided to think of one himself. "A child named Maigo once wandered into the night without his parents' permission. As Maigo walked in the cold, empty streets, he came across an alleyway that gave a phosphorescent light, mystifying him. Sucked in by its brightness, he went into the alleyway and found a group of black-robed people with their faces obscured by a black mask. Curious, and scared, he hid. However, his attempt was futile as they caught Maigo peeking by the corner, and welcomed him to a tea party as if they were expecting him. Once the group all snapped their fingers, a table with seats alongside a teaset for all eight of them materialized from thin air!" As he exclaimed at the end to add an element of surprise, Eua backed away before leaning back in closer to Subaru. "When Maigo and the others took a seat, and had their teacups in their hands, he asked an innocent question: 'Why do you wear masks?'. They answer: 'We don't have an identity, but we are separated parts of an individual with an identity, or a soul'. Maigo asked another question: 'Who is this individual?'. They answer as if in a choir: 'He is someone with a dark, irritating, agitating, infuriating, aura surrrounding him'. And when Maigo asked: 'Where is this individual?'. They answered with laughter and pointed at him, and said: 'You are this individual. We are SLOTH, PRIDE, WRATH, GREED, LUST, GLUTTONY and ENVY. We are you'. They continued: 'You are the vessel. An empty vessel. A soul—an identity; for that, we will come back again and each one of us will meet you with a trial to undergo'. Paralyzed with fear, Maigo stayed seated in his chair as the black-robed people all stood from their seats and left one by one. Leaving the boy alone and afraid. He left the alleyway and ran back home. He would lose his balance, fall and fall until he sprained his ankle. But he continued until he returned home. And, he vowed to never go out at night without his parent's permission again—So, what are your thoughts?"

The spirit flickered, then it revolved around him from all angles as if in joy. An upbeat melody rang through his eardrums, mimicking a laugh awkwardly, turning into words: Ha-haa-ha-ha… Interesting story! The kid 'Maigo' learned a lesson, didn't he? Though, I fail to see why you included the sins.

"The sins? That! I just thought it was cool. I didn't really put much thought into it."

Contrary to the upbeat tune, a low, disturbing, yet calming melody that rang in his ears said: You shouldn't use such terms just because it sounds cool. Ignorance is something that many people buy with their lives as the currency. Words, if used wrong, can lead to misconceptions that cost many people their lives. Words can kill its user, remember that.

"I understand your concerns and I will try not to mention the sins. But you do know that we are completely, and utterly alone in this wasteland?"

Subaru took a turn to the other side of the hills as he said that with a teasing grin. He didn't know what he was trying to convey from that story, but he rode along with the flow he set. It resonated with him in a way.

"Anyhow, there might be people crossing the wasteland carrying merchandise or something to another city or town. But the problem lies in the fact that we don't know where we are on the map."

Subaru didn't know where he was, stranded in the wasteland. The spirit, Eua, didn't seem to know either. It seemed to be just as lost as him.

"A world beyond the wasteland exists for sure. I have to endure the pain even if it's a messed up, post-apocalyptic world…to find who I really am."

His throat constricted, his facial muscles tensed, and his eyebrows lowered as his grin faded into a small smile—Subaru truly didn't think that anyone would be crossing by them by any chance. A wasteland is dead silent. No one would ever cross it without any repercussions. No scraps and no cargos. Environment unsuitable for living. The more he considered the near-impossible living conditions in the wasteland, the more his goal seemed unreachable. Death would grasp him by the forelocks, scrape his face against the abrasive ground, and take away his soul. He couldn't resign to fate yet. Even if death stood in his path, he has to overcome it. Overcome difficulty and claim what used to belong to him before fate can catch up; the confidence and pride of Natsuki Subaru.

"Thank you for accompanying me, Eua. I appreciate it."

The spirit floated over his outstretched hand holding onto a rock fixed upon a high, rocky slope. A song blared in his ears, transforming into a clear, feminine voice that said: I don't want you to climb up, but I will be watching over you. No matter what happens.

Once Subaru heard that, he closed his eyes for a brief respite. Heaving a sigh, motivated by those simple words, he left his bag on the ground with his tracksuit on top of it.

"I can't do anything but arduous tasks, can I? I have nothing to ever lose. Not my life, not my feet and hands, not my soul."

Subaru climbed the rocky slope in a series of sloppy steps. It wasn't hard to climb up considering his fine-tuned physique. The rocks were firm in place. All he had to do was lift himself up rock to rock. He strengthened his grip, readjusted his footing, and proceeded to exhaust every muscle and fiber in his body. Balancing and distributing his body weight evenly, making sure not to slip at any interval—A raging urge to succeed overwhelmed him. A rush of adrenaline and a ghastly threat of death motivated his movements to be more coordinated. A beating rhythm sounding from his chest and neck entertained him, his eyes darting left and right for the next stone to grasp onto. Immersed into the sport. Living in a world of earned rewards. That was how it ought to be.

Eua hovered right beside him, not doing anything worth mentioning. Subaru gave a glaring smile as he ascended above till eventually a wall lay before him at the end of the slope. Tackling it face to face, he lifted himself up once more. The rocks started to get rough in the handling aspect. He found it hard to hold onto them tightly due to their slightly smooth, yet coarse texture. Even as he wiped his sullied, sweaty, hand on his clothes, carefully and cautiously aware of the slide below him, his grip didn't seem to get any tighter.

"I might break a rib or two if I fall. Heh, I'm treading on thin ice," Subaru said with a listless expression. Not affected as much as one might expect. It didn't seem to matter either way. Breaking his bones or back didn't mean he would die immediately after. He would have a little bit of time he could use. Heaving a sigh, he muttered with a bitter voice, "I'm no longer human until… Until I understand who I really am. A leech? Or a human worthy of being named Natsuki Subaru?" Death will not deter him at any cost, that is. Braving through his turmoils, leaving behind only a twisting lump of negative emotions; a necessary sacrifice. "What did it matter to begin with if I am without identity? This is the only thing I have to hold on to. So that it doesn't escape my grasp ever again."

He couldn't count the many times he was close to giving up. Sweat hindered him. His agitated, scorched neck and arms hindered him. His muscles were close to failing him. Whenever Subaru felt that his footing was starting to get unsteady, he would stop to stabilize his footing briefly, then continue. Without looking down, he can gauge how high he was judging from the landscape that grew distant the more he ascended.

Taking the disadvantages confronting him to account, he stained his sweaty hands with sand one at a time, wiped it off using his clothes and reaffirmed his grip. As he trained his gaze above, he saw that the wall he was climbing hit an end. He couldn't move a muscle as strained breaths escaped his mouth.

He had no other choice but to power through the weakness.

With the final push in motion, he threw himself on top of flat ground—Rather a small space that barely encompasses his body. When Subaru retreated into the center and cocked his head to the heavens, he found another rock face to ascend. Noticing that there were risky gaps and deformities at a glance, he sat legs-crossed. There were multiple gaps lining up with each being apart three meters.

"I could use this to my advantage. I am going to have an easier time climbing up this hill. In the same breath, I might die instantaneously. What do you think of that, Eua?"

With a renewed expression of boldness, Subaru climbed up the rock face as he addressed Eua, using the gaps to adjust his footing. Lifting himself gap to gap in a timely manner. Seizing the chance presented to him with ferocity. Getting closer to the treasure that may or may not exist, he braced himself—

"…"

All of a sudden, Subaru began to have difficulty adjusting his grip and footing on the rocks this time. With widened eyes and great fear etched into his soul, he trained his head toward his left hand—It was a loose rock—and with quick reflexes, he clutched onto another rock and continued climbing. The loose rock fell, breaking into smaller rock fragments as it collided against a bigger stone.

Death was nearer to him than he expected. His heart leaped. His breath caught. His legs trembled. Biting his lips til it drew blood, he put himself together and held on. His expression was well-animated contrary to his listless one. An expression of fear and a tinge of excitement.

Once he reached the ends of the hill, Subaru hurled himself to the top. In the mere seconds he spent lying on his back, his body heated up intensely. Sweat poured out of every pore of his skin. He filled his lungs with as much oxygen as possible. Even as he began to calm down, his mind still ran blank.

"I—I was going to die, huh… Not up to the standard held by my former self, aren't I?"

The realization that he was going to fall down to his death made him sober. A sense of disappointment washed over him. He made such a simple mistake, and yet his life would've been reaped the moment he did not act upon it. Taking in the pain from his worn out hands and torn lower lip, he sensed misplaced feelings of pleasure. A feeling he should not be having, yet it seemed right. He worked hard. Exerted himself out of his wits. It was only natural.

It took a little while until he felt his dry throat craving water, even the saliva he swallowed didn't help one tiny bit. Subaru rose to his feet, and looked ahead—A flat ground extended to the precipice. The landscape of the wasteland expanded farther than before. He could probably monitor any vehicles passing by. However, there comes the main dish. "Ah.. So I got the losing hand."

Subaru lost the bet. Acknowledging that, he walked to the edge of the hill.

"Eua, can you assist me in looking for any passing person?"

Sure. If it makes you content, Eua responded.

Despite his efforts yielding no results, he attempted to make the most out of it considering that he can now observe far distances for any signs of people. Subaru stayed there for a while, seeing no movements and no sign of life. Growing bored and despondent, he descended down with caution of any loose rocks till his feet collided against a slope.

He slid down the rocky slope without incident—After reaching surface level, he grabbed his bag, and leaned against the slope. He let the environment consume him as the soft cracking sounds of plastic invaded his ears. Entering the world of memories, his parents appeared at the forefront of his mind, encouraging him and taking care of him as he rejected their affection. Then, Natsuki Subaru appeared in the form of a little child, forthcoming with a domineering presence, gradually losing his confidence as he grew up into what he is currently. More figures, his classmates, appeared as they whispered about him. It wasn't negative rumors or assumptions, but rather they conveyed a sense of pity and disappointment through their eyes and body language. It wasn't directed towards him, but rather as a reminder for themselves not to end up like him. He couldn't blame anyone for thinking that way. The last figure to appear was his father, secluded, staring at Subaru with one of his signature grins, his hand outstretched in a thumbsup as if telling him to not worry on that other side of the barrier between them. However, it became unbearable to hold in his emotions. Because he knew very well that he had no way of returning back to their embrace. Death may not have deterred Subaru from danger, but the memories he would lose became a reason for living.

"What if I died…? What would my parents think? What would they feel…? What would I do with a tattered body?"

A courteous, melancholic melody rang within his ears, turning into a voice that said: I am sorry I didn't tell you that there was nothing up there… I didn't mean…

"You knew that there was nothing up there and you didn't tell me. That's the end of it. It's not your fault anyway. I had to experience defeat. Taste it and let it digest in my stomach for a good while." Subaru grinned. "At the very least, you warned me to not get my hopes up. Thank you."

As he thanked the spirit, who nestled close to his shoulder, Subaru mused over what he could do, clenching his teeth.

What would a weak, unaccomplished person such as him do? Will he not have the chance to know who he was? He didn't want to die accomplishing nothing. He couldn't leave his parents behind and let Natsuki Subaru leave their thoughts. There were so many things that he could have done way before he was transported in this world. He could have started by washing that mug, gone outside and responded back to his mother, and returned back home and prepared for tomorrow's school.

He would attend school and finally let go of his past and live for his goals in life.

"I don't want to die," Subaru said, his visage twitching. He raised his head, and let the sunshine pour down his face."I don't know anymore. How much longer would I survive? It doesn't matter much to me anymore."

Tightening his fists was all he could do at this moment. He will have to move somewhere else to find anything that might help him survive longer.

"I have doubts that I will actually survive any longer than a day and a half. I don't know if I'll be rescued or left to die. It feels as though I was thrust into a life or death situation without any warning against my own will. I embraced it only for it to backfire on me. It's all unfair—All of it…!"

It all didn't make sense. For what reason was he summoned to this world? He reflected upon his mistakes, but it cost him his family.

"Being rescued is too much wishful thinking, isn't it?. There will never be anyone to save me, rescue me, or even see me besides you."

Adapting so easily, thinking of some concepts, trying to survive with whatever half-baked knowledge he had.

"Nothing will go the way I want. And that is fine. If I die, then that's just one path of the many, similar, ones next to it." Back to his listless expression, Subaru still did not allow himself rest. "I still want to live regardless of what lies ahead. I don't want to lose all hope just yet. This is my last chip that I'm going to set on the tables. I won't be able to live long enough with you, Eua. But if you want to accompany a dying man, then you are more than welcome."

Subaru took his tracksuit and slipped his left arm in its respective sleeve, and the same with the other arm. He left it unzipped, and hovered his gaze over the wasteland with resignation. If fate wanted him to hand out his soul, he wouldn't object to it.

For his last journey, he needed his final meal.

He took the cup noodles and discarded the plastic bag. He opened the lid and threw it away. The dried noodles required boiling water to soften its fibers. Except that wasn't the only way to eat it. He opened the flavor packet and sprinkled some of it on the cylindrical piece of noodle. As unappetizing as it looked, this was his final meal.

Subaru took a bite and another. Within ten seconds, he finished the whole thing. It wasn't as bad as he expected. He was done before he could notice it. That was how lackluster of a snack it was without water.

Subaru sighed as his throat struggled to keep up with the bits of dried noodles. Only his saliva, which was also running its last course, wet his throat. The feeling of hunger still lingered. The cup he threw, being tossed around by the wind, gave him a weird feeling reminiscent of his hometown. Following the cup's seemingly desperate movement from left to right to forward to backward, the sight reminded him of what it feels to be played by the world's fickleness.

The wind carried a profound sadness, spreading it every direction it went.

His body became lethargic as time passed. His throat dried up to no avail, and his eyes became hazier than before. The world changed from hue to hue until it went monochrome. He had never realized it, but finally, everything was in black and white. Bleak, empty and silent.

Everything was blotted in a sad hue of grey. The hills, the sand, the sky, the palms he observed closely and even himself.

"I should've just jumped off that precipice when I had the chance. How could I not even do anything as simple as make a simple response? Or do some dishes? Or focus on my studies? Or attend school?"

Tearing his own heart apart the more he spoke, Subaru placed a palm over his face. He wanted to go back in time.

"I can no longer take it back. What was wrong with me back then? I had nothing to lose by wasting a few useless breaths. Why couldn't I just do something as simple as washing a mug? It would have taken less than a minute. Why was I so absorbed in myself this much? Why? Why didn't you just throw me out when you had plenty of chances?"

Subaru's head hung down as he let go of his hands. The audacity to use their money and take advantage of their hard work… What was he except a parasite?

"I shamelessly went to buy snacks even though my mom brought dinner to my bedroom and I barely finished it. What the hell is wrong with me?"

He banged his fist against the nearest hard surface he faced, drawing what seemed to be a dark liquid all over. One…two…three…four…five—Subaru continued to bash his hand against the wall, his hand almost entirely drenched in a viscous, sticky liquid.

The pain served to calm him down. The relief that washed over him made him desire more.

More. More. More. More. More. More pain—

"Gh..?! What…"

A disruptive, loud melody rang through his ears, speaking with a reproachful voice: Stop that! Didn't you say that you have someone you want to discover?! Are you going to harm yourself, and veer away from that goal and just give up without trying harder!? Survive! Survive for me, and those awaiting your arrival!

"Eua…"

The melody continued, translating, transforming into the same feminine voice he heard earlier in his mind. The voice, instead of blaring through his eardrums, sounded from Eua's position in front of him. Like a beautiful firefly emitting a purplish-black light floating in mid-air.

"If you are going to accomplish something, then work towards it and stop drowning yourself with guilt upon guilt! Look forward to what lies ahead! If I knew the person I had to look after was this troublesome, I would've…!"

"You can actually speak out loud, huh."

"Is that what concerns you? I have overlooked it time and time again—You harming yourself over the slightest inconveniences! Like a spoiled brat, that is! Hiding behind the concept of perseverance and allowing it to consume you like the vulnerable fool that you are!" Eua scolded him harshly. Each word seemed like a slap that woke him up from his deep slumber. "You don't understand anything at all about patience. You 'persevere' without any regards to your life. You degrade yourself whenever you're thirsty or famished… How can you become so blackhearted towards yourself?!"

"I…"

"You are weak. But that doesn't mean that you don't have any room to grow stronger. Being vulnerable or weak is not a sin. Treating yourself with respect is not a sin, no matter what you have done in the past. You are human, aren't you?!"

"I'm not…human! I'm just a leech! That is what I am!"

He denied her words. He couldn't accept it—

"Then what are the sins you committed? If they are so grave that you can't call yourself a human because of it?!"

"I did nothing of worth at all! I wasted my time and energy playing dumb games and reading dumb stories… I rejected the hand my parents extended to me! How can I be anything but unforgivable?! This is… This is atonement for what I have done!"

"And how can atonement be achieved in your state? Do you really think that by harming yourself that you will be forgiven? This line of thinking and this mindset of yours is what can't be forgiven!"

"…"

With a deafening voice dominating his ears, all of the rebuttals he had ready vanished without a trace. His hanging jaw closed, inclining his head as he listened carefully to her next words.

"This can never be atonement. It is the very same poison that you keep salivating over. You will never be forgiven if you keep heading down this path of self-destruction. You will never discover who you really are. And you will never live to see familiar faces ever again. However, it doesn't have to be this way. Even if those close to you vanish right under your watchful gaze, you will always find a way to bring them back. You will."

Subaru shrank, his face contorting with confusion. He couldn't comprehend what she was saying. Where did that certainty come from? Why was she so insistent? What worth did she see in him? Anguished by everything surrounding him, he sealed his ears. But to no avail, he heard her next words clearer than ever.

"That is why if you don't change your ways this instant, I will never, ever, forgive you."

"Why…are you…" His throat constricted tightly as he tried to ask a question. He was left with no choice but to reflect upon her words. Slowly, gradually, he understood the hard way. "You mean to tell me that I was wrong in my approach? That, for me to be forgiven, I just have to go on normally. Like I did nothing wrong? That even though I lost a part of myself, I can still be forgiven?"

"Of course, you were wrong. You attempted to trade your humanity for a dash of confidence knowing that your days were numbered. It was never a matter of weakness or strength, because both served nothing for your hurting soul. Your past can be forgiven if you clear away the clouds in your mind. You have to understand why your parents persevered."

"Why they persevered…"

He rejected their affection time and time again in hopes they would kick him out. However, it always had the opposite effect. They would extend their hands even if he just gave them a glance as though they were little worth seeing. They would encourage him to do his studently duties, and persisted in doing so. They would proclaim their love in many different ways. Their faces never sullen, brighter than anything he could imagine. They persevered through the pain he caused them. His mother and father were everything he could have asked for, and yet he disappeared on them altogether. And he can never come back and feel their embrace.

"I will never see them again… I—I can never give them a proper send off ever again…!" Tears flowed down profusely. He couldn't hold it in anymore. He wailed, "They will stay out of my grasp and they will stay out of my grasp…! What should I do even after it's too late?!"

"Hold them dear to your heart. Whenever you think about them, think of them as a sign of strength. Perhaps someday, you'll see them with your eyes. So don't extinguish that hope before it is even considered. Just like they'll do when they think about you. They will hold you dear to their hearts, and never stop hoping to see you. In their times of difficulty, the thought of you doing well comforts them. So will you desecrate them further, Natsuki Subaru?"

"Right… I've been so self-centered this entire time. I'm not the only one suffering through this. They must think that they didn't try hard enough… Even though… Even though they've done more than enough for me," Subaru said, his tears bursting like a dam. "They must be thinking something like 'we caused him to run away', blaming themselves… They really were much greater than I took them for."

His strive to live returned as the monochrome world around him returned partially back to its yellow color. The pain from his beaten hand made him focus on the next step he needed to take.

Survive and live to see the world around you even as the consuming darkness surrounds you.

Survive for yourself and those that will eventually surrround you.

Survive for the ones awaiting you. The ones that you forsake in your blindness.

Natsuki Subaru will survive for as long as he wills. For as long as he permits it. For as long as he stays alive. Even if all hope was to be eradicated, he would cling onto the memories that shape him into who he really was.

"I swear I will make it up to the both of you, Mom, Dad. I will make it up to you, too, Eua. I was just a little distressed. So don't get so upset at me, will you?"

Without Eua speaking, he knew what she intended to say. They were partners that will never be separated till death meets them both.

It was time to move forward.

"…"

A terrible foreboding arose within his chest. His neck tightened as the sound of wind and the friction between the air and sand vanished. All the noise disappeared, replaced with a silence louder than anything the likes of which ever heard. The term 'dead silent' rang truer than ever.

In his current world, everything he perceived was partially in monochrome. Coupled with the shattering silence, an indescribable fear gradually grew tense as the regular rhythm of his breathing became erratic by the second. He could've sworn that his eyes had bulged right there and then.

"I feel like something bad is going to happen—Aaah!?"

Finally, the air was filled with a melody similar to a violin. Its frequency did not change. Subaru shrank a few steps, frantically looking in every direction. Eua was not in sight no matter where he looked.

"Eua? Where are…"

"Don't worry about me. I will always be watching over you. If I disappear; in the moment that you'll need me, I will come forth and aid you in whatever trial awaits you."

"Does that mean you are leaving? What is that supposed to mean!"

The melody continued as he searched. When he had finally found Eua hovering in between his eyes, Subaru heard her voice from his two ears as clearly as ever.

"Even if I disappear from your sight, you should know that the place that I now reside in is very close. You bestowed upon me a name. Eua, was it? It is the first name I have ever had, and it will be the last—Thank you for giving me an identity and I am sorry after everything."

"What does that cryptic nonsense mean? I don't want you to leave… If that is… No, I won't be selfish. Thank you for everything, Eua."

Left with no choice but to accept it, Subaru bit back his emotions and curved his lips in a smile. Perhaps, this was fated to be. Or perhaps it was not. The fact that they had to depart at some point still reigned true,—Not due to the supposed nuances of a spirit communicating with a human—it was bound to happen eventually.

Their meeting did not feel like it was the first, or the last. A sensation akin to electricity flowing through him, a link, grew stronger. He felt a faint presence within his soul as the spirit hovered over his outstretched palm. Eua gave off a dazzling light. Acknowledging that she is about to leave, Subaru brought his forehead close to Eua for a farewell.

"It's going to be lonely, you know that?"

"It is. But I will be watching over you from the place closest to you."

"Are you sure you won't abandon that promise you made? You will come back, won't you?"

He had to affirm her words are the true article. Otherwise, a single band-aid would never be able to hold the tiny crevices in his heart in place.

"I promise, in your time of need, I will help you overcome the adversities before you. We can pick up from there, and go on a journey together."

"Then… Can I ask you one thing before that?"

"..."

There was one more thing that he ought to ask. No matter what.

"What are you? No," Subaru stopped speaking for a moment to recollect his words. "Why did you accompany me all this time? You could've just dismissed me as some random, crazy guy wandering the middle of nowhere. I even have nothing to offer you at all. That's why I have to know, and why I won't allow a vague answer. My heart will never accept it."

"...You leave me at the end of the rope, Subaru." With a small pause, making Subaru wait with bated breath, Eua continued. "I am, to an extent, a fragment of your soul that manifested and became its own entity. A certain someone aided my status as a spirit. I stopped counting the years that passed by ever since then. Out of the many forms I can take, the gifts that I've been blessed with, I took the form of a lesser spirit. It's surprising, you know? The fact that you didn't know what lesser spirits are and their fundamental existence. They don't speak, but they can communicate their intentions and display emotions through a link between its contractor. That is why I took this form."

Eua began to distort as she spoke, transfiguring into a young girl in a dark, frilly dress, her grey, empty eyes staring into his own. Her black hair sank to her knees, fluttering in the wind as her lips flapped up and down. The air around her swirled like a tornado, threatening to suck Subaru in. That moment only lasted several seconds before the girl shifted into a black-striped tiger, towering over him as its warm, calculating eyes veered all over him, making him tremble under its deadly pressure. The breath washing over his face had no odor. The tiger quickly distorted into a woman that seemed to be in her twenties, covered in black from neck to toe, solemnly tilting her head as she stared at Subaru. Her white hair extended to her hips, and the dangerous aura her wicked smile exuded sent shockwaves rippling through his mind. Somehow, he recognized the figure—Rather, from the depths of his soul, a nostalgic feeling welled up, making him feel a strange sadness. The mysterious woman, her hollow black eyes warming up the moment it met his likewise colored eyes, slowly melted into an indistinguishable man wearing a magnificent white robe adorned with gold, his face obscured, having hair that somehow made him reminiscent of his father's.

The incomprehensable, beautiful spectacle he had witnessed sent tears flowing down his chin. Pure wonder and conflict. A vortex of conflicting emotions, each colliding with one another and cancelling the other in a repetitive cycle, stirred his heart round. There was no way he couldn't have suppressed them as the torrent of emotions within his heart spilled out, making him fall to his knees in awe.

When the man before him vanished into thin air, only what seemed to be a lesser spirit appeared once more.

"A form so simple in nature, and somehow the most beautiful of all. You accepted this inadequate form, and you are the one whom I was awaiting for centuries. It's only natural that I would want to accompany you."

"...I don't get it. Why me? Why my soul? How did you even…"

Stupefied by Eua's explanation, Subaru was stunned into silence before retaining his vigorous curiosity. Before he could finish his words, Eua interrupted him. "It is a lot to take in. Take it easy on yourself. Remember that I am always, always watching over you from the closest place to you."

"—Wait…! Don't leave already! I… I still don't get it! It doesn't make any sense!"

The moment he blinked, Eua disappeared from sight. Subaru could tell that there was no jest behind it since there was silence afterwards. Even as the sunlight scorched his exposed skin, Subaru took off in a sprint, searching for Eua. Beads of sweat soaked his visage, his body heat rising exponentially. He knew that he would die of thirst faster if he continued further…

But that didn't matter at that moment. Neither did life nor death. He had to find Eua.

"I can't let you go just yet! I have to know. I want to know in what way you are connected to me!"

The many hopes accumulated to the brim after that interaction. The hope of returning back home once he uncovered Eua's identity and abilities; the hope of finding civilization; the hope of having a companion that was capable of understanding him.

I'll always be watching over you from the closest place to you.

Once he recalled the words Eua said, he halted in his steps immediately. His frenzied mind had sobered. He couldn't show her this pathetic display. He wouldn't allow it.

He had gotten too full of himself.

"You'll always be watching over me, huh. I'll trust in you. I know that you are listening. I will be waiting for our reunion."

Whether that would come to fruition or not wasn't Subaru's concern. As he placed a hand to his chest, Subaru closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Opening his eyes, letting the sunshine give way to vision, he saw an endlessly-stretching half-grey landscape. The wasteland had never looked so vast.

At the end of the line, patience was the only option he had. Patience by every sense of the word.

The grey hue, tackling the colorful hues, taking over the world meant that there was nothing but a dead end for him.

I only wanted to discover who I am in a world that ensured my demise. However, I will not lose all hope. Not anymore.

Subaru hasn't strayed far from the oddly-shaped hill. Wandering about as aimlessly as one would expect. Nothing seemed to appear from the horizon, and the landscape remained unchanged. The sun had changed position from the midpoint in the sky to the west. That said, nothing has changed since.

Between the time interval when Eua left and him deciding to strive for the future, most of his hopes had been crushed one by one as the minutes passed by. Thought after thought began to repeat in a cycle, killing every wishful thought and optimism he had. A sense of apathy had manifested. His eyelids rarely closed; the search for anything usable or anyone destroyed his will to do anything. The greyness surrounding began to take over.

It became insufferable, holding his emotions at bay, and resisting the desire to scream out loud and pull every lock of his hair off his scalp. The only thing that had comforted him all this time were Eua's words and the thoughts of his parents doing fine. Even then, something darker emerged from within his subconscious that tackled everything he stood for—Apathy.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Hahahahahaha…!"

Laughing to relieve the poisonous, festering, stir in his chest became a habit over time. Despite his attempts to relieve it, it would always come back stronger than before.

"Ahahahahahahahahaha! Hehhehehahahaha! Why, hehehe, won't it stop already?! Ahahahaha!?"

As his laughter grew more confused, increasing in volume, Subaru covered his eyes with his palm. Every centimeter of his facial muscles below his hand looked wrinkled and tense. The little smile he mustered cost him a great deal of effort, tiring him down to his neurons. When he bit the back of his teeth, he accidentally tore his upper lip with his front teeth, feeling a metallic sensation on his tongue.

The pain didn't register quite correctly. Instead, like a hard drug, the pain relieved the frustrations he had built up. Once he acknowledged that, he bit down where he had injured himself. Blood trailed from his lips to his chin to his neck.

Do you really think that by harming yourself that you will be forgiven?!

Flinching as soon as he recalled those robust words, he stopped instantly. Shaking his head, he attempted to brush it off with a breathy laugh.

"Ahahaha… What now? Ehehahahaha…!"

Slowly, the silence from before crept all around him, cutting him off from the sound of wind and the vibrations of sand. His nasty, repetitive laughter was the only thing filling the void of still air. A deathly foreboding overcame him similar to last time.

"—"

The ground rumbled as if it was growling in anger, tripping him over his knees. The sand around him vibrated left and right, and as the ground shook with such an intensity that he thought the earth would split apart, the sand began to fling back and forth en masse, hitting him like pellets.

And then it stopped for a moment—registering the sharp pain of his exposed skin being struck by thousands of little particles—until a torrent of sand rapidly collided against his body, hurling him on his back. Before he could recover, the ground shook once more. His body swayed to and fro, his face scraped by the harsh, grainy surface. It continued to shake as he desperately tried to stand up.

To his surprise, it stopped once again. Taking the chance, he stood up and set off running. "...Ugh! Ugh ughhg!" Whatever his efforts may have led to, another torrent of sand assailed his vision, crashing against his already exposed form, sending shockwaves of pain through and out of his body. Withstanding the pain, shielding his eyes with his hand, Subaru waited for the sand to settle.

"What the hell is going on here… Haha…hahahahaha…? "

Once the sand cleared, he recognized he was standing in the shade. The assumption that he was under the shade of the deformed hill shattered when he raised his head. His breath caught. For the monstrosity before him was a giant invertebrate creature, a worm, that burst out of the ground, towering over him as a steamy liquid fell from the sky melting everything it touched. A laugh was the only thing that came out of Subaru's mouth.

The worm towered over sixteen meters in comparison to Subaru. Its head jerked towards him, its bottomless mouth lined with fine teeth. Repulsive mucus dripped down from its mouth to the sand. The sand soaked in that mucus quickly melted and changed forms as a molten glass, jagged, materialized in its place. Its repugnant breath wafted out from above. The smell, reminiscent of rotten eggs, reached him despite the height difference.

Subaru shrank away from the disgusting smell, unable to register the danger before his eyes. One of the creature's features that stood out the most was the horn protruding over its head. Its skin seemed as fragile as paper; a knife could easily phase through it.

"Is my life about to end…? Oh…well, should I do something about it?"

As he asked that seemingly innocuous question as if it wasn't his business, Subaru yawned, covering his mouth. The invertebrate didn't strike any cord relating to his mental state, or make him cower away in fear. For some reason, a sense of resignation and relief washed over Natsuki Subaru.

"—!"

The worm screeched upon looking at Subaru closely, making him wince instinctively. The noise annoyed him, making him drive his palms into his ears. He wanted the silence to consume him instead. In the next instant, the worm charged at him. Seeing the bottomless pit near him, Subaru waited for it to welcome him.

It was pointless to resist; all he needed to do was nothing.

There was no meaning to living any longer; an apathetic force consumed his heart.

Surviving only delayed the inevitable; his body has grown tired, eating its own cells to manage, as his hunger never ceased. The desire to drench his throat in water seemed an unreachable goal.

Nothing mattered anymore—Because this world has forsaken him. Eua could've probably helped him, but it wouldn't have made a difference if she was here—Because he can survive this, he didn't see a reason why Eua would appear now. There was no way out of this predicament, and death has presented itself before him in a bout of aggression. Embracing it didn't seem like a terrible exchange.

"Why do I have to shoulder this?"

As though time stopped for a moment, he discerned that the worm was a scant meters away from swallowing him whole. As he stared into the bottomless pit, lined with ravenous teeth, Subaru stood, maintaining an indifferent position to his predicament. It is not as though he hadn't recognized the danger already, the outcome simply did not matter. What lay at the end of the road he went was a large, bottomless pit waiting to devour him. He allowed it and embraced it wholeheartedly.

Nothing mattered, he repeated. Nothing served him as he wished, he repeated. Everything brought him anguish, he repeated. Everything made him run away from fate, he repeated.

So, why was his soul trembling? His hands began to shake, resisting Subaru's indifference, and his brain shut down momentarily. His body rebelled against his stance towards the approaching danger, lowering its stance, leaning to the right, spreading his arm before his face, to make a great leap away. As his breathing became frantic, he wondered what went wrong. He endured the unfairness of the world for his parents, knowing that they were in as much pain as he was, wondering what the other side might be doing. He didn't follow through with the resolution Eua presented to him.

Why had he pretended that he didn't care anymore? Why did he forsake his goals and optimism for the future awaiting him?

"Eua… I can't believe I disregarded everything you said…!"

The words of his companion made him realize how mistaken he was for thinking nothing mattered. He was not alone. He had strength. Strength to overcome everything in his path with only the memories of those dearest to him.

Think of them as a sign of strength.

"I will survive." A gutteral voice emerged from his mouth. "Even in death, I will let the name of Natsuki Subaru echo in this wasteland till it reaches the world."

Once time began to flow, Subaru leaped away from the worm's mouth, landing on his shoulder in a harsh clash against the sand surface. Without a second thought, he rose back to his feet, the moment he stood, he watched the worm sink into the ground with ease, leaving a sizable pit. The enemy he was about to face will either devour him if he wasn't careful or melt him with its mucus by a stroke of luck.

The odds were always stacked against him from the moment he was summoned. And this was no different.

"Don't look down upon me any longer, faaaaaaaaate!" With a shout that filled his surroundings, Subaru steadied himself on the sand.

When the ground shook, signalling that the worm was getting nearer, he took on a sprint forward. If the worm was going to burst from the ground, then he had to beat it in speed. No one would beat him in a running competition at this rate. As the sand beneath his feet began to vibrate violently, Subaru leaped in a diving motion.

The worm emerged right behind him, causing a sand cloud to form, grazing his shoes. The impact of that slight friction between the worm's flesh and his ankle flipped his body mid-air, making him land on his back. Without so much as a grunt, Subaru recovered from the shock and stood firm as the ground began to rumble once more.

The invertebrate had sunk into the sand ocean, leaving a dangerous pit in its place once more. Seeing that, he sprinted away, coughing momentarily due to the sand he inhaled, to a safer distance. With a mix of terror and an out-of-place excitement, Subaru spat, "A sandworm of all things to throw at me… However, I will not be losing to some worm in a speed contest!"

Subaru ran as fast as he could, reaching his absolute limit, and going beyond it. The limit he once failed to overcome. Any coach would advise him to stop, but he already knew the consequences of overexerting himself. For as long as he had prospects for the future, even if death neared him, it was all a small price to pay to hold on to the memories he held dear.

Bring it on! His heart cried out.

The ground beneath him began to vibrate once more, growing more violent as the sound of something moving through the sand grated his ears. Knowing that the sandworm was about to emerge, Subaru made a series of leaps in sporadic directions. It was bound to burst out in any direction after all.

In a single instant, the sandworm burst from the sand beside Subaru, kicking up a storm of sand and rocks. Clenching his teeth, he elbowed the emerging invertebrate in an attempt of retaliation—However, his elbow, feeling like he was about to be torn apart, twisted above his head due to the worm's rapid acceleration into the sky. It was a slight sprain; attacking it while it was still moving at such a fast rate was akin to self-destruction.

"Is running the only option I have?!"

Acknowledging that, Subaru didn't spare a second sprinting forward. The wind brushed against his face, somehow making him feel alive. To his dismay, the sandworm made a sharp turn mid-air and charged at him. It was a game of cat and mouse, except there weren't any tight spaces the mouse could squeeze into.

An endlessly stretching ocean of sand—Running from a monster with no hopes of escape. It all served to make him more desperate. When he trained his eyes over his shoulder, the only thing he could perceive was a bottomless pit getting closer to devouring him by the second. Eventually the sandworm would catch up. He will not allow that.

Subaru slammed his teeth together, narrowing his eyes at the condescending sky as he braced himself for a great bout. He hunched forward, balancing his body as he became one with the wind. Every fiber in his muscles strained and torn apart, his legs made great leaps ahead; for this was a battle for the memories that shaped and affirmed Natsuki Subaru and failure was not an option. His line of sight focused solely on the ground, avoiding everything—bumps, rocks and unsteady surfaces—impeding him from his path, darting from one place to another. The amplified risk of running his head against the sand ran parallel with the risk of being consumed in the darkness that chased him.

Inertia happened to be an unforgiving force when it came to sport. He could even risk a concussion.

As a feeling of apprehension and anticipation resurfaced, Subaru zoomed to the right in a gradual arc. A sound similar to an explosion blared from behind, invading his eardums causing him to wince. What followed after was a furious pounding in his chest—It only took him until this moment that he realized how hard his heart had been beating.

However, there was no need to press the brakes so early.

As he turned his head to look at the sandworm, it plummeted into the sand, creating a whirlpool of sand to obscure his vision. He could only see a portion of its tail writhing till it disappeared as the ground quaked beneath his feet. Sprinting as fast as he can, anticipating the great emergence, he witnessed the invertebrate erupting out a scant meters away, launching itself toward Subaru with terrifying speed unlike before.

"No way…!"

It got closer and closer, homing in on him. Even as he sprinted as fast as he humanly could, he would never be able to outrun it. Left with no choice but to dodge, Subaru decided to use the few remaining skills he had accumulated over the years—With a great dive headfirst into the ground, he attempted a desperado handspring dive. The moment his hand made contact with the ground, he roughly twisted his body with the intention to hit the ground in a roll.

As he executed that move, the sandworm's mouth collided with his left leg, flinging him meters away. A searing hell coming from his left leg made him writhe as he bounced over and over against the sand. Alongside the impact of his leg bone almost cracking due to the impact, the pain almost made him unconscious.

When he checked his afflicted leg, small bubbles of viscous, steamy liquid seared through his trousers and through his flesh till it reached the bone.

"Aghahhn! Arghhnnn…!"

Biting back the pain, Subaru poured sand all over the vicious liquid, melting some of it, rubbing the sand with his fingertips until it dried completely. Ripples of agony overwhelmed his sanity. Even though the scorching liquid had been wiped off his flesh and bone, the searing pain was replaced by a sensation similar to being stabbed with many thick needles. Burned, irritated nerves bulged, blood barely flowing out, as his melted, charred flesh was wetted by blood amidst the yellow dust. Crimson mixed with yellow; the wave of pain gradually built up till he relieved himself with a shattering scream that paved way through the wasteland.

A ringing sound overtook his ears as a rippling headache throbbed behind his eyes' neurons. He contorted his body to sit upright using his lethargic, unafflicted leg—His heart hammered against his ribs violently as though it would rip it open. As if his lung had emptied out, he gasped for air. The pain began to subside, however the source of his agony remained concentrated in his left leg.

Subaru knew he couldn't let this hinder him. However, an eerie silence descended upon him as he tore the burned part of his trousers—running his fingers through the seams of the fabric and ripping it apart—and tied the makeshift bandage around his melted flesh in a fruitless effort. Blood continued to seep through the fabric, but it served its meager purpose. A gentle scraping noise broke the silence and caused his head to twitch at an unnatural angle. The ground was no longer shaking. Perhaps, in a twist of fate, the sandworm was devoured by its own greed, he entertained the thought with a tinge of dreadful amusement.

"Like…hell it will…!"

As his heart's rhythm began to reach a regular tempo, Subaru trained his gaze around him. Only what seemed to be a large fleshy coil of sickly yellow surrounded him, moving eerily in a circle. Its transclucent skin revealed pulsating veins, the movement so grotesque an urge to vomit brimmed up within his chest. A large shadow secured him from the sun—The sandworm has encircled him, surrounding him at all sides.

He became entrapped in a cage with no hopes of escape. He could neither resist nor defy the fate the world has imposed upon him. A bottomless pit, its edges lined with fine, jagged teeth, neared him by the second and appraised the hopeless youth. It felt as though thousands of eyes lay beyond that steep darkness—Ridiculing, mocking, pitying, contemptuous, happy, greedy, gluttonous eyes awaiting his burst of screams.

However, instead of being terrorized by the predicament unfolding before his eyes, Subaru fell to his back and laughed lightly, his apathetic side catching up to his fractured mental state that he attempted to reshape into a whole part. Even as raindrops of acid dripped fervently from above, melting the sand next to his ears, he laughed. Laughed. Yet that laughter never gave his heart ease. It came from a place of emptiness. Sizzle, sizzle, The acidic mucus searing the sand ravaged his ears, instilling a sense of hopelessness that resonated with his heart.

"Hahahaha… So, no matter what, I still can't even survive? I still have to hold on to those memories…! I can't lose them at any cost, hahhah…" His laughter stopped at some point as he closed his eyes, preventing himself from watching the horror descending upon him any longer. "I…can handle this. I can power through this."

As Subaru imagined the worm's head descending, its repugnant breath invading his nostrils, he estimated the possibility of surviving slimmed down to fraction after fraction. He couldn't live up to his word, no matter what he tried; it was an unreachable peak that he couldn't dare to live up to. Even as the seeds of disappointment bore fruit within him, a simmering anger burned alongside it.

"Wh….y? Why am…I?"

The bottomless pit held naught but ridicule for his question. That only served to worsen the burning in his chest. It made him tremble. It caused his hands to convulse. Primal fear threatened to silence him, however…it had no more authority over Subaru.

"Why am I only giving up now…?" A deep, raspy voice, raw with unadulterated rage, emerged from his mouth. "Why do I have to be humiliated like this? Why? Why?!" His voice bellowed as he dug his nails deep into the sand, eroding his skin, destroying the apathy residing within his heart. Once more, a surge of defiance sparked throughout his soul. "I am Natsuki Subaru. I am NATSUKI SUBARU!"

Accepting his pathetic side, and his helpless side as part of Natsuki Subaru, he gnashed his teeth forcefully.

The dark pit loomed closer toward Subaru until there was only a bit of space left, emphasized by the putrid smell of rotting eggs. Even as he yelled out, his voice could only reverberate into that void.

It was unfair. All of it was unfair. Nothing went in his favor.

"I can't submit…to this…"

No one will help him. No one will come save him. It was only natural to feel a sense of resignation at the start. But he will have to take that step by himself; the same conclusion he reached before when he had a clearer mind.

"I will not…be swayed left and right by my own despair…anymore…!"

Yet, the ferocious flames of anger within him boiled his blood, simmering second by second as his veins solidified, pouring raw strength into his limbs. He sank his meddlesome heart into the depths of his soul, purifying it from the impurity named 'fear' and with it 'hesitation'. The bottomless pit closed the distance between Subaru and the sandworm a scant meters away. Only a few moments would pass until he was devoured whole. Though he couldn't move his limbs, nothing prevented him from rocking forth the core of his body. Subaru braced himself, closing his eyes, and roughly twisted his body in a roll away from the fetid mouth scraping by his shoulders.

His back collided against an upright, fleshy surface that served the role of cushioning his momentum as he watched the sandworm dive into the sand foolishly. That surface swiftly dragged him in a circle, coarse sand brushing harshly against his exposed skin as pain emerged from his hips—The invertebrate's body became one with the sand.

"...Crap!"

A large pit lay before his eyes, the sand trickled off the edges as what appeared to be steam easily flowed into the air around him. Subaru sensed his arms get pulled into the pit—Sand poured down from all sides, including from his position, filling the large hole with a rushing hiss as his body rolled against his will toward the pit. That process was hastened once the ground rumbled. The intense vibrations beneath his belly felt like it would rupture him in half. Those vibrations were nearer than he expected.

It was coming soon. The sand continued to pour, burying him, until the pit was almost filled halfway. Fighting for his life, he tackled the rain of sand showering his body. "From…where the directions of those vibrations are coming…from…!" Subaru wormed his way out of the sand to the center as one fleeting moment of respite swiftly ended.. "It should be targeting me…here—Gah?!"

He could no longer feel the ground as the world blacked out from a deafeaning explosion of sand taking place before him, assailing his eyes viciously, launching his body into the air. Once he opened his eyes, his blurred sight became clear as the darkness' entrance aligned with white spikes neared him; the sandworm had already caught up to him.

He was falling from a height, the wind coursing through his hair. It was unsure how high it was, but a strange calm took over him. The half-grey scenery of the vast landscape welcomed him, anticipating his great collapse. He had tried the best he could. The thought of accepting fate for what it offered sullied his face, but it gave him a sense of serenity, dragging him far away from the influences of resentment. It should've been the moment that all of his memories flashed before his eyes, however nothing appeared at the back of his mind. The flames of his anger finally dissipated, and the world around him began to darken. Little by little, he composed his breathing and slowly closed his eyes.

Perhaps, this was punishment for his misdemeanors? Or was it a twisted form of salvation? A joyous emotion brimmed his heart regardless because he was Natsuki Subaru all the same—

"...ck, now!"

"…the…move!"

Distant voices reached his ears, getting closer. Clearer.

"Al Huma!"

An unintelligible chant cut across the rigid air, followed alongside the sound of crystal particles forming into one. Another voice screeched in agony, but the deafening sound of something heavy colliding with the ground blotted it out in mere seconds. Astonished by what he was imagining in his mind, Subaru opened his lids. A warm sensation encompassed his back as strong, yet gentle hands caught him mid-fall, the warmth of a body cradled him near to their chest.

The corpse of the invertebrate that had terrorized him lay on the ground, its form twisting and writhing till it curled into a ball. A giant ice stake, the size of a tree, embedded through its delicate skin, pinning it to the earth. It did not let a single drop of blood spurt. Beholding that scene with his frail eyes caused him to furrow his brows awkwardly. He did not feel satisfaction for the monster's death.

More importantly than that was the pale hand extending from behind his head to his chest. A light paler than the former came forth from its fingertips relieved his pain.

"Don't worry. That monster will not hurt you again. I will… I will save you."

A feminine voice reminiscent of a silver bell reached out from above, reassuring him in earnest. Rocking his head backwards, he searched for the source of the maternal voice. Subaru found a spectacle; a sympathetic, worried face—emphasized by the strange light emanating before his chest—colored the woman's face. For a reason unknown, the urge to cry once he was met by her face overwhelmed him. She had long white hair that flowed below, giving her an air of intelligence. What he was most enthralled by was her earnest eyes concentrated deeply on her outstretched hand, as though she was performing an absolute ritual. Having both youth and also mature beauty in her soft features, she exuded a pleasant aura that soothed him. It was a sight he never could have dreamed of.

As the woman set him on the coarse sand with her free hand, her expression became fiercer as the light she emitted through her fingertips intensified. Slowly, the pain that reminded him of his mortal body began to dissipate. In his half-grey world, he perceived her in full color alone, vibrant and bright. A liquid ran down his cheeks as he hid his vulnerability with his arm. He was being tended to. He was being saved even though he affirmed to himself that no one would ever come to his aid.

"It will be over soon. Your pain, and your injuries. Everything will be fine."

Her reassuring voice strengthened the current of his incoming tears. Feeling secure around her, he set his arm to the side. Her visage was still as sincere as it was. He couldn't see her quite clearly as warmness clogged his eyes. Wiping away his tears as his sight became focused, Subaru beheld her in full scope—Her white dress purified her surroundings. A green crystal necklace rested upon her chest, surrounding her delicate neck. Her white cloak, embroidered in golden thread with a bird of prey crest, sullied with sand, still maintained its elegance. It piqued his curiosity as it implied that she had altercations with the wasteland as well. In the same breath, the symbol carried an air of authority with it, giving him the impression of noble status and a world beyond the wasteland.

"Who…are you…"

"Don't speak, please. You will only tire yourself."

"..."

After the woman expressed her concerns with a stern face, Subaru's gaze drifted to the heavens. The canvas of a sky with grey and blue, looking like an ugly amalgamation. Once he blinked, a slightly reddening sky materialized. When he blinked again, he saw a colorless sky. In an instant, a surge of pain made him lurch forward. But something held him firm against the ground in the shape of a palm-sized animal. The face of a tiny cat surfaced, winking at him with a mischievous smile. As unreal as it was, Subaru let the two do as they pleased with him.

As he was being relieved of the pain burdening him, he remained a little in disbelief.

"It's gaining color. The world is gradually returning back to how it was." Muttering under his breath, he enlightened himself with a new discovery. The world opened up with a new gale. Everything spread out as though the world had started to embrace him dearly. The colors slowly rebounding to its normal state. "I am seeing you and you."

After all of his pain had dissipated, the woman faced him with relieved, yet tense eyes. On her shoulder rested the animal from earlier: A grey cat that could be squeezed inside his clenched fist with ease. Even though he had been saved, he still didn't understand.

He could tell his expression was probably bitter or perplexed judging from the woman's deepening brows.

"Why…did you save me?"

"…"

"It doesn't make any sense… None of this makes any sense. I already accepted it. I resigned myself to it. I…" Covering his face, Subaru lifted himself with his free hand. "So why have I been granted a way out even after pondering for hour after hour consecutively why I had to survive on my own merits from the very beginning! I sacrificed my body and my energy to find a way out of this predicament! I was driven to the farthest ends, all alone! I even had to pretend that I have gone insane to veil my frustrations and sorrows!" The more he reached out to them, clinging onto their understanding, the more the world began to take color once more. "I convinced myself that the world around me has lost its color! I laughed like a madman to soothe my heart! But none of that helped! In reality, I was the one who had lost all color! I shackled myself in chains of my own making! I was going to lose my memories with my death. And yet I was given a way out. I… I—Huh…?"

"I saw you from a far distance. I could only discern a man trying his hardest to run away from a vicious monster. You tried your hardest to dodge every one of its attacks, and wore yourself out to survive. I could only watch from a distance, and I couldn't have reached you in time were it not for your resistance. I'm not sure whether I am to blame for my belatedness or not, but I definitely won't regret taking action when it was due."

Once he sensed a warmth gently prying his hand off his face, Subaru, for the first time, saw the woman in her complete brilliance. Her eyes made contact with him, causing a serene sensation to brim up in chest, dispelling his confusion. Captivated, he let out a dumb noise, for her eyes were an amethyst purple—A gem with honed edges that could slice iron—and her pupils were a spiral of blue, giving off a mystifying sensation that stirred his heart violently. Her hair that he had mistaken for white shone silver. The locks of hair swayed by the warm wind gave off a lustre that was on par with that of actual silver. He could tell through her stern expression that she held a profound sense of duty and compassion.

The woman earnestly spoke with clear speech, putting a hand to her chest. The way she conducted herself even as Subaru unwittingly yelled at her elevated the image he had of her.

"You may have been in a more precarious situation than me. There were times when I felt as though I should've given up, yet I decided to persevere. Giving up is a very easy option, but it is, in reality, the hardest option to take." The woman inclined her head forward for a brief moment. "Even though you probably didn't want to be saved, it doesn't change that I still saved you. Even if you are in danger again, I will still save you with total disregard for your feelings."

"…You're quite passionate."

Subaru, left with nothing but shock to show on his face, said that in response to the compassionate response. The moment she spoke again, as though his frustrations and anger had been decimated that not even a small particle of those emotions remained, he calmed down. Waiting for her next words with bated breath.

"I am also in a similar situation where I had to endure surviving in this wasteland. I was transported here due to an attack that took place in the Royal Castle… It may not be familiar to you." Caressing the cat on her shoulder, the woman continued in a solemn voice. "Even though Puck is with me, I couldn't get the other royal candidates, Roswaal, Rem and Ram out of my mind. I came to the conclusion that they might be here, in this wasteland, as well. There weren't any lesser spirits in sight, and not even Puck could figure out where we are…"

"Transported… Like transported through some sort of spell?"

"A magic circle to be precise. It really was unexpected, considering what they are notorious for."

"You can…speak? —Don't mind me. Royal candidates… Nobility… A bird of prey crest… So the basic gist is that you have been transported from a royal castle to this wasteland due to an attack perpetrated by a malevolent figure? It's similar to what happened to me, though I wasn't attacked…"

All of a sudden, the cat on the woman's shoulder—named Puck—spoke jovially, but the aura it exuded sent danger signals blaring through his mind. Not paying the obvious display of the feline bending common sense any heed, Subaru rationalized the woman's own predicament with simple terms. The woman is possibly a great political figure in the kingdom she was supposedly in, considering how she mentioned other Royal Candidates besides her; and an attack was perpetrated against her and her rivals in candidicacy for the position of king.

Considering the woman's position, whether she's a nobility bidding for the throne at her hometown or not, Subaru must take caution in dealing with—

"Don't get any wild ideas. She saved your life, you know? Save the formalities and give up your word of gratitudes!"

"Right… You're right. Thank you… Thank you so much for saving me. Don't mind me if I make any assumptions."

Once the cat, Puck, admonished him as though he read the tangled twine that was his mind, Subaru realized the gravity of his line of thinking. This woman saved him from death, yet he raised his voice at her and even suspected her of having ulterior motives. What kind of person returns good will with ill will?

"I am quite confused about why you look so perplexed and what brought you to say those last words, but it is all right. You did mention that you also happened upon this place through the similar means that we fell prey to. I want you to explain your side of the story, but right now is not the time. Isn't it, Puck?"

"Yeah. I don't think he has much longer to live if he stays parched like this. Here!"

As the cat spoke, it flew off the woman's shoulder and approached Subaru in a flash. The cat spread its paws. What seemed to be particles of an unfamiliar element of nature gathered before the feline in the form of minute, glowing orbs that accumulated through multiplication, slowly beginning to take the form of a cylindrical crystal. With its small limbs, it swiftly gave it to Subaru.

Upon appraising it closely, he discerned that it was a drinking vessel. It was convenient to have one, however there wasn't water or even crude oil to fill it with.

"Do you expect me to drink the air?"

"Hehe. I expected a response like that!" Once more, the cat stretched its paws and water came forth, pouring directly onto the cup until it was filled to the rim. "It's been a long time since I've used water magic in such a primitive way. It is a bit fun to try out the disregarded basics of the basics, you know?"

"…"

Subaru gazed at the water within his grasp, unable to think for a while. He had finally reached his long-desired goal, but he hesitated to fix the rim of the cup to his lips. It happened too fast. He couldn't bring himself not to doubt the first strokes of fortune for a ruse of misfortune waiting to destroy his morale once he takes the first sip.

Swallowing his doubts and hesitation, Subaru let out a sigh before setting the cup to his lips, letting the water drench his throat. It was neither cold nor warm. It took him until this moment to realize how thirsty he has been. And so he requested for more water from the cat.

The more he gulped the contents of his cup, the more vigorous the cogs working his brain moved. After finishing his last cup of water, Subaru steadied his breathing and sat with his legs-crossed, bowing his head. His body, though relieved from exhaustion, stiffened, so he could only express his gratitude this way.

"Thank you for treating my wound and giving me water…! I cannot express my gratitude enough for all you have done for me."

"There is no need to go through such lengths. We did save you, but…"

With a tinge of pensiveness smearing her face, the woman chose her next words carefully. "Can you accompany me on my way back to the kingdom? It is a selfish request considering your circumstances… But if you have any knowledge of our whereabouts or where we are, please tell us."

"You call that a selfish request? I would be more than glad to abide by that."

Once Subaru rose to his feet, so did the woman shrouded in silver. They clasped their hands, reaching mutual agreement. Giving an awkward smile, he said, "As embarassed as I am to say this: I'll do anything for my hero, so rest assured."

"Then, I expect great results from my lackee—Just kidding. I hope the path we tread can be a relatively easy one."

A pair of black eyes met a pair of purple eyes. From there, an unspoken promise between the two was forged.

—An unyielding promise to support each other's backs even if death was imminent; so that they may never falter ever again like they had once.