The following weeks was going slowly and he was now in the fifth month and he felt sick of everything. His belly started to bulge and he had destroyed every mirror in his room and he only left his room when Pain wanted him to sort different documents. He was wearing baggy clothes and he did his best to suck in the belly when the others was nearby or in the same room. When the others had asked why he was on desk duty Pain had told them that it was a punishment of doing his own thing at a mission. When he heard Pains words one morning he felt a hard knot on his heart. He wanted to scream that he might as well could tell them the truth. But instead he bit inside both his cheeks so he began to bleed, the warm iron taste filled his mouth and he was close to vomit. Smells and tastes had made him weak as he saw it. After the morning meeting Pain wanted to talk to him about new documents. He nodded and pulled the hood forward, so his face would be hidden. When he began to walk to Pains office he could hear the others whispering about him.

They both entered Pains office and after he locked the door he placed his arms around Deidara and hold him close.

- Still mad about me? His voice had a playful sharp in it, he knew what he was doing.

- Leave me alone... He was too tired to fight, he was too tired for anything.

- Let me see your pretty face. Pains finger gently removed the hood and saw a small trail of blood under the blond boys lips. He lowered his head and licked the dry blood and could feel how the body was shivering.

- DON'T TOUCH ME! Deidara screamed as loud as he could and got a chuckle as an answer.

A crocked finger was gently placed under his chin and their eyes met, blue eyes with anger in them was starring at amused eyes.

- Hush it's not god for you to get upset, you.. He was cut of in the middle of the sentence and he was not sure if he was amused or annoyed.

- SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING MORE! WHY DON'T YOU LET ME END IT? IS IT BECAUSE OF HIM? His screams was raw emotions and you could hold the pain i his words in your hands.

His back was in pain and his scalp became warm and thousands of needles was hitting him at the same time. Instinctively he raised his arms and tried to place them on his head and that was when the back of his head began to hurt. Before he could react the back of his head began to hurt even more and he fell on the floor. A hand grabbed his bangs and forced his head upwards. Pain was in a squatting position and the look he gave him could kill him there and then.

- I think i have to discipline you more, and you know that i hate to do that. The voice that came from the man's mouth was dark and sharp as broken glass.

- FUCK OFF! He cried and the pain from being smashed in the wall came at the same time. His hair had been pulled and the back of his head was throbbing and a nausea began to grow in the back of his throat. Now he was forced to stand up and he got scared, he knew that he had gone to far. "I can finally be free from everything" he closed his eyes and felt a knee between his legs. His back was crushed against the wall behind him.

A sharp pain was pulsing at his neck and something was digging in his skin. Pains underlip piercings was digging the thin skin deeply. The smell of blood became toxic and soon warm breath was dancing inside his ear.

- Lets try this again, do you want me to punish you. The voice gave him goosebumps of fear, his body started to tremble.

-... No...no...no. The head was going from side to side and a tip of Pains noses was dancing over his cheek.

- Are you still upset about him? A soft inhale was the only thing that was heard in the silent room.

Not to long ago Pain had demanded to know who Deidara had slept with and who was the father of his unborn child. He still was in denial of what had happened to him that night, he refused to tell him anything.

- I have given you plenty of time, i want to know who you slept with! Pain sat at his desk at his elbows was resting at the heavy desk and his hands was clasped. The surrounding aura was both dark and ominous. Deidara felt threatened just to sit in front of him, he did not dare to look up or talk. He looked down at his knees and he was clasping his fingers over and over. The air in the room started to be harder to breath and he was scared of how this meeting would end.

- I...i...dont... he wanted to say that he did not know, but Pain would see through his lie. The whole thing reminded him of the early days in the orphanage. The principal was an old mean man. He often scolded and hit him, as soon something went wrong he got the blame. So small he felt right now was the first and only time he would felt that in his life.

- Who? It was a command, a demand and a threat at the same time. The blond young boy in front of him would break soon, if not he would break him.

- A...a...man... he felt dizzy, the memories from the warm heated night played on his eyes. The smell of the man was filling his nose, he could taste him and feel his skin against his fingertips.

-... Who?... His patients was gone, he began to stand up and when Deidara heard his office chair being dragged on the floor he went into panic mode.

- I dont know... his name was Romanow..THAT'S ALL I KNOW ABOUT HIM! The voice was cracking under the panic and fear his body got when he heard Pain standing up.

-Romanow? A hand grabbed his chin hard and their eyes met, a melody of sobbing and crying gave him all the answers he needed.

- Pain please it hurts. He could feel his teeth being crushed against the inside of his cheeks.

- You stay here, if you are gone when I'm back i will make sure you won't being able to walk until the due date. He removed his hand and then walked out from his office with heavy and fast steps. It was the steps of an angry man that could hurt him more than anyone in the orphanage ever could do. The only thing he could do was trying to hold in his cries, he hated that he was so emotional. He hated to cry for every little single thing, he used the arms on hos hoodie to dry away the tears. "Stop crying, STOP CRYING!" The voice inside his head became an empty echo and it took him a long time before the tears stopped.

The time was going at a slow paste and he would never know how long he sat on the chair. Everything that had happened and every memory of Romanow started to blend together like watercolors inside a cup of water that was used to clean the brushes. The door opened and Itachi walked in.

- WHAT IS HE DOING HERE, UN? Itachi sat down on a chair next to him and just looked at Pain.

- Sit down... Pains eyes made him swallow and sit down and he felt sick, his skin started to itch and his inside began to bubble. The skin felt like acid and he needed to focus on to breath.

- May i ask why i am here? Itachis cold and nonchalant voice cut the heavy atmosphere in the room. Deidara hated the tone and the attitude the man next to him had. Every time he spoked it was like he looked down at everyone, he was so high and almighty. "Look at me, i slaughtered my whole clan, my art is better than yours" was lines that Deidara both though and said out loud when he and Sasori was on missions.

- You are here because of a punishment, Itachi say hello to Didi, the blond girl you spend a night with a few months back. The blood stopped to flow in Deidaras veins, the lungs stopped to work and he could only move his head to the side. His skin turned white and a panic attack began to build up inside of him.

- And? He did not care about this, what had happened was an accident from his side.

- AND? AND! HOW COULD IT BE YOU, UN! YOU WERE BUILD AND TALL LIKE KISAME! He stood up and grabbed Itachis collar and begun to rock his body back and forth when he sat in the chair.

- He to have a transformation, everyone looks after a tall slim Uchiha. But no one would look after a man like Romanow. I send him and Kisame out to espionage missions from time to time. Women that drinks and that uses drugs will sell information for almost nothing. As long as they can get a rush they will cooperate. The answer was not to his satisfaction and he could only gasp for air because of the anger that was oozing from his pores.

- NO...No no no no it can't be true, it just can't be true, un! Deidaras hands began let go of Itachis collar, he folded his arms and began to stroke his arms and said the line over and over. This was a joke, this had to be a joke. He could not be Romanow, this was a nightmare and he wanted to wake up.

- Let me the first one to congratulate you, Itachi meet the mother of your unborn child. Deidara just stammered and he got a cold and deadly stare from Itachi. And the tune he had when he said mother was filled with ... mockery?

- ... Get rid of it... The words he spoke was so demanding that Deidara hoped that Pain would listen to the request. Pain was still looking at them both and he enjoyed every moment of what he saw.

- No he cant, and It's because he signed a contract that made him accept all punishment of he failed the mission. And besides its too late to do anything now, see this as a punishment for both of you. Since you two made this mess and made him fail his mission, and this might be a good reminder for not going to random women that has nothing to do with your mission.

- YOU DID THIS TO ME, UN! Deidara grabbed Itachis collar once again and began to shook him violently.

- Let go of me... His black eyes turned red and he placed one of his hands on Deidaras hands and pulled it away like it was nothing.

- I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME, UN! He began to grit his teeth so hard that Itachi could hear them start to crack. He was now hit with closed fits all over his body and he just stood there and stared at the blond boy in front of him. The head felt heave and his legs could not support his weight, he fell down on his knees and closed his eyes.

- I think its best if you and i talk alone later, it seems that someone needs a nap. The last word was too much for him, he was treated like a kid again, and they talked over him again. He covered his ears and shook his head.

- I'll come back later in the evening, maybe he acts more mature then. Itachis eyes was looking down at Deidara. "Even a kid is more mature than him" the air in the room became cold and heavy.

- And i also think its best if we keep this to ourselves for now, the others dont need to know. Pain was looking at the man in front of him and could see the cold stern look he gave Deidara.

- It's for the best. After the last word he turned around and walked to the door, he unlocked it and walked out. And when he was outside he closed the door and began to walk to his room.

- Come on stand up. Pain was crouching down and then placed a gentle hand on the blonde boys head and stroke it gently. Deidara could not hear or feel him, everything inside him had made him numb. He did not react when Pain helped him to stand up and when he was on both feet he was picked up and then carried in to Pains bedroom. Soon they both was resting on the big bed and Pain placed Deidaras head at his chest. Comforting fingers was stroking his forehead and he could feel the irregular breathing at his chest.

A soft hum cut through the heave air that came after them when they entered the room.

- He will tell everyone... The grip became harder and soft kisses like a butterfly wing was placed on his forehead.

- No he won't. Pain was amused, he knew that Itachi would rather die than acknowledge the situation. Seeing Deidara in despair was in a way adorable.

- Yes he will! He now sat up and he started to hit his head over and over a swift move he was now on his back and Pain was over him, one of his hands was slowing moving under Deidaras hoodie. The other hand was holding both of his wrists over his head. A knee was placed between his legs to make sure that he was trapped.

One of Pains hands moved over the hoodie and then went under it.

Now it was only a thin fabric of a old well-worn shirt between them, a strong man's hand stroke the small bugle that was starting to grow. Deidara shook his head violently and did his best to wriggle free.

- STOP PLEASE, DON'T, UN! He felt sick and the nausea hit him hard and he felt so disgusted by everything that happened.

- Hush, it's not good for you both if you scream. Pains lips was now on his cheek and started to kiss the skin softly like butterfly wings. Now his underlips piercings was now digging into the soft throat skin and Deidara had to hold his head still. Wrong movement and the sharp piercings would puncture the skin.

- Please...stop... The hand was now stroking the skin of the belly and the tears was in the corner of his eyes.

- You both are safe here, he won't tell anyone. His pride won't allow him to tell him about this. Pain had a chuckle in his voice and could feel how the scared young man's body began to trembling when he stroked two fingers under the bellybutton. "So you hate being touched here?" He took mental notes of what areas was the most painful to touch.

- Pain... Now they shared kisses and the fingers was dancing over the naked skin. He could taste the disgust from Deidara. Its taste was bittersweet and he loved it, he placed some weight on his fingers and the cry he heard was music in his ears.

- I should discipline you for all the UN words you said, but i will let it side this time. But i have to discipline you next time. He stopped kissing him and then started to kiss the belly and he could feel him hate that.

- Don't look... He felt ashamed of his body, everything was so wrong and he felt like a monster. He looked away and felt a gentle stroke over his belly and then two arms around his body.

One arm was under his head and the other was at his side and a warm breath was tickling his ear. The silence that came was suffocating and heavy, and his own thoughts began to scare him.

The minutes passed by so slow that he though the time had stopped, one of his hands pulled down the hoodie he was wearing. The other hand was holding one of Pains arms and he began to ask why he felt safe there. "This is wrong, I'm a male why do i feel this?" The feelings from tantrum he had a few hours was almost gone and he felt sick of himself. He was giving Itachi the pleasure to look down on him even more. He laid on his side and started to get lost in his own thoughts.

- Ten yen for your thoughts. Pains voice was soft and caring and he held the young man in front of him closer to his body.

- Do you think he will keep it a secret? He was afraid of Itachi speaking to Kisame or anyone else about him.

- Still worried about that? His pride could not handle if people knew about you two. When he was done talking he could hear the smile that Deidara had on him right now, knowing that it would hurt his pride made him feel a little bit better. He turned around and saw Pains face and he could not hide the smile he had on him.

- His pride... He placed his forehead on Pains and began to feel tired. The tantrum he had and the kissing and horrible touching he had had taken all his energy.

- I think someone needs his nap. Pain was laughing when he heard an angry voice telling him that he as not a kid. " A kid that still has temper tantrums" he though to himself. He laid on his back and placed Deidaras body on his.

- Im not a kid... He felt an arm around him and he could feel and hear Pains hard and steady heartbeats. "I can close my eyes for a few minutes and then go back to my room" He heard a familiar hum and he began to relax. Pain had his eyes closed and began to hum for himself, he did not know where he had heard the melody, but it was calming. After a while he heard deep breathing in the quiet room and he stroked Deidaras forehead gently.

"You are so easy to read and so easy to push you in the directions i want. Soon you only have me and no one else to be with."