One week later…

Early evening, at the gates of Kazuma's mansion, a teleportation circle suddenly appeared and blazed with light. Three individuals materialized out of it.

Kazuma was standing there to greet them. He had on the same tailored black suit he'd worn to Darkness's birthday party. Kazuma gave the new arrivals an elegant bow. He spoke in a warm voice with eyes bright.

"Welcome to my home, Princess Iris, it's a joy to see you! Lain, you're as lovely as ever." His voice suddenly went as sweet as a pickle. "White Suit. I guess I have to let you in too."

Claire let out a low growl. "Do you not even know how to show basic hospitality to a guest?"

"What do you mean?" Kazuma stood up from his bow sounding much too innocent. "I'm just trying to be as friendly and considerate as you've always been."

"You arrogant, money-grubbing-" Before she could really get going the princess stepped forward.

"Onii-chan, thank you so much for inviting us to your home. I can't wait to play you! I've practiced really hard and am going to try my best to beat you!"

"That's great! Just don't expect me to hold back." She was so adorable he couldn't help but pat her on her head. Why couldn't a certain explosion maniac be this cute?

The action made Iris's cheeks blush but she didn't complain. Lain looked amused, while Claire let out a wordless snarl and pulled her sword about six inches out of its scabbard. Before any blood could be drawn or threats made the princess looked about.

"Ah, is onee-chan not here too?"

"Oh, afraid not," Kazuma shrugged. "She's out of town right now helping a friend of ours with an important mission. She'll be away for a few days and sends her regrets."

"I see," Iris looked down with disappointment.

"Don't look so glum, Iris. I'm sure she'll be here next time I invite you over. Now come on, I've got a whole table full of cake and sweets and tea waiting for you."

He casually took her hand and began leading her up the path to his mansion. Her cheeks reddened again, but there was a grin on her lips. Claire was muttering curses about inappropriate behavior and royal dignity and upjumped peasants, but no one paid her any attention.

XXX

"So, there I was, running through this empty village with a horde of murderous naked mole rats on my heels closing in! I had Darkness slung over one shoulder and Megumin over the other, both of them weighing me down as I ran."

"Do you have to put it that way?" Megumin complained from a nearby table.

She and Lain were playing Heromon against each other while Kazuma and Princess Iris battled it out at a table of their own.

Kazuma looked over at her with a smirk on his lips. "Am I lying?"

"I'm just saying you could find a nicer way to describe it," the explosion loli grumbled.

"Okay, sorry," Kazuma tapped his chin and pretended to think for a moment. "So, there I was running for my life carrying Megumin like a sack of potatoes."

Hearing that made Princess Iris giggle.

"You're lucky I'm out of mana right now," Megumin muttered beneath her breath.

Claire was standing ramrod straight behind the seated Iris. The princess and the Thief had already played more than a dozen games, all of which the Thief had won. The princess didn't mind losing at all and had possessed a cheerful smile all evening long. Now they were taking a short break with tea and cake, sitting as the braggart told the princess one ridiculous tale after another. Being a veteran knight, it was obvious to her all these ridiculous stories were made up, or at the very least exaggerated to a preposterous degree. But the innocent princess hung on his every word, eager to hear more about these absurd 'adventures.'

"So, onii-chan, what happened next?" Princess Iris asked, eyes sparkling. "How did you get away from so many dangerous monsters?"

Just as the slimy merchant opened his mouth to spew more lies Claire coughed, drawing everyone's attention.

"Naked mole rats aren't that dangerous," Claire gave the man a contemptuous grin. "Only a weakling or an incompetent would be threatened by them."

She was surprised when the man nodded.

"That's true, White Suit. After taking out the Sand Wyrm I could have easily escaped all on my own. All I had to do was abandon my helpless teammates and make a run for it." The Thief sent her a heartbroken expression. "I would never even think to do that, though. I would never abandon my friends. But hey, I guess we have different priorities."

The princess gasped and stared at her in dismay. "Claire, you wouldn't, would you? You wouldn't sacrifice your teammates to save yourself, right?"

"What? No, princess! Of course not! No knight would ever do something so cowardly!"

"That so?" The Thief asked, sipping his tea. "But you just said I shouldn't have been in any danger in that spot. How exactly could I have gotten out of trouble except by leaving my friends behind? Hmmm?"

Four faces were staring at her. Claire felt embarrassed, suddenly being put on the spot.

"I just meant that anyone decently strong would be able to handle naked mole rats without issue," Claire snarled.

The Thief shrugged. "Oh, well, not all of us are level fifty knights. Some of us have to struggle and make hard choices. Sometimes you have to be ready to risk everything for what you think is important."

The princess turned to him and let out a dreamy sigh. "You're really amazing, onii-chan!"

"I know."

Claire clamped down her jaw to keep from cursing. The damn silver-tongued peasant had done it again! With just a few glib words he somehow managed to make the princess admire him while making her look bad! How did he do it?! It made no sense!

While she was fuming the Thief stood from his seat. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go drain the goblin."

As soon as he strolled out of the parlor Claire turned to Princess Iris. "Princess, don't you think this is inappropriate? What would people think if they knew about this?"

"Why would it be a problem?" Iris asked in confusion. "I am onii-chan's patron, and I am here playing the game I endorse and having tea and cake. Why would that be an issue?"

"Your father did not give his permission. Technically you should not be here at all. And to visit a man at his home at night…"

Iris's cheeks turned red. She was only twelve. And more innocent than, say Megumin or Darkness at the same age, but she loved romances and had at least a rough idea of what men and women would get up to.

Lain snorted a laugh as she used her Barbarian to take out Megumin's Clay Golem. "Claire, give it a rest, will you? She's not here alone, and he hasn't done anything even remotely suspect with her. It's been a lovely evening so far."

Iris nodded. "Kazuma is betrothed to onee-chan. Even if he acts like a scoundrel sometimes, I'm sure his intentions here are pure."

Those words produced a snort from Megumin. "You should see what he keeps in his closet," she muttered beneath her breath.

Three sets of eyes were peering at her.

"What was that?" Claire asked, eager for anything that might reveal the truth to the princess.

"Nothing," she said quickly and placed a loli succubus down.

A few minutes passed, and the wretched Thief was still not back. Claire was just about to go in search for him when without warning the door to the parlor was kicked open. There standing in the doorway were three figures all in masks. Two were human, a slender boy with silver hair and a young man with dark hair and a long cloak. Standing in front of both of them was a catgirl with an obscenely large chest armed with a pair of enchanted gauntlets.

"I… I a… am N… Naughty Kitty, and my ga… gang and I are here to rob you! Lay down your arms!"

The cat girls cheeks blushed a deep crimson and there was something strangely familiar about her. Though Claire was certain she'd never met a catgirl with such a lascivious figure. The instant the door had been kicked in all four of them had gotten to their feet. Claire's sword was in hand and lain had her staff ready. Despite admitting she had no mana Megumin also had her staff. Surprisingly, the princess was the one caught most off guard. Though she was standing, she hadn't yet drawn her sword. Her mouth was open and she was gawking at the catgirl and then at the dark haired fellow.

"What? But why are you…"

"Princess Iris!" Claire shouted and stepped forward. "Compose yourself! We are being attacked and must fight!"

Princess Iris gave a hesitant nod and drew her sword.

Claire strode forward. "Do you people understand what you are doing? Do you understand what it means to attack a member of the royal family?"

The catgirl swallowed and fidgeted a bit. She directed an embarrassed glance at the princess. "Pl… please believe me when I say there is a reason, we are doing this."

XXX

Flashback one week earlier

Darkness had just returned to the mansion from her birthday party, eager to check in on her betrothed. Megumin was still back at her home stuffing her face and regaling people with stories of her incredible adventures. When Darkness found both Kazuma and Chris there she was pleased. When Chris mentioned needing to discuss something she was intrigued. When Chris began to explain exactly what it was, she needed help with, she was horrified.

"You want us to rob Princess Iris?! Chris, have you gone insane?! And Kazuma, why are you encouraging her! You're the one always telling us not to do things like this!"

"Yeah," Kazuma said. "I know it sounds bad. My initial reaction was just like yours, but you need to hear her out."

Chris grasped her hands and sent Darkness a pleading look. "Please let me explain. This is a mission from Eris."

"Eris? Why would the goddess want us to steal from a member of the royal family?!"

"It's for her own safety," Chris explained swiftly. "She recently received an enchanted necklace that has the power to let someone temporarily switch bodied with another person."

"Eh?" Darkness looked confused. "That is an interesting power, but I don't see why Eris would have any interest in it."

"The problem is if someone dies while the necklace is in effect the change becomes permanent. A person could use this to only murder Princess Iris and replace her, it also has the potential to grant a person a sort of immortality."

Darkness grimaced, despite her rather extreme personality, she was not a stupid person and could clearly comprehend the situation.

"Very well, I can agree this item is indeed dangerous, but surely, we don't have to resort to theft. Can't we simply explain the situation to Iris?"

Chris shook her head. "That won't work. No matter how it came into her possession that necklace is now the property of the royal family. Iris might not be willing to part with it without informing her father first. And while I believe his majesty is a wise ruler, he may not want to part with such a valuable item."

"So, the only recourse is to steal it?"

"I'm afraid so."

Darkness opened her mouth to argue but Kazuma cut in.

"Oi, you agree that so long as this thing is in her possession Iris-chan's life will be in danger, right? Shouldn't we do whatever we need to, to protect her? Even if it's just a little bit underhanded?"

Darkness frowned at him. "Kazuma, only you would think robbing a magical item from a princess would qualify as merely a 'little bit underhanded.'"

He shrugged. "I think a little moral flexibility is a must, especially in a world without decent copyright and patent law."

"What are copyright and patent law?"

"Don't worry about it. The important thing is Chris, and I are doing this, will you help?"

The blonde crusader closed her eyes and groaned. "You actually want me to put that shameful outfit on again and pretend to be Naughty Kitty once more?"

He nodded. "That's right, and you can even be the leader of our little gang."

"What?" Darkness gasped. "Kazuma! Were you not satisfied with tricking me into becoming a criminal? Now you want to sully my reputation even further by turning me into a criminal leader?"

"Technically, I haven't done a thing to your reputation, only Naughty Kitty's. And since Naughty Kitty already has a bounty on her head it just makes sense to keep the focus on her. Besides," he gave her a razor-sharp smile. "You didn't seem to mind effecting my reputation when you let everyone think the two of us were a couple."

Darkness fidgeted and stuttered out something about not having any ill intentions. In the end though she agreed that Naughty Kitty would join Shadow and the Gentlemen Thief in their daring heist.

XXX

Present

"Reason?" Claire spat. "Why do thieves ever do anything except to profit?!"

Claire glanced back at Lain who gave her a subtle nod. She then turned to the princess, but she seemed to miss her signal entirely. Claire couldn't help but feel a tad disappointed, this unexpected assault seemed to have left the Stylish Sword of Belzerg in a bit of a daze. Still, she and Lain would do what was necessary.

Claire rushed in straight at the leader and presumably most capable opponent. "Thousand strikes!" Claire activated her strongest knight skill. Her magical blade was a blur of light as multiple attacks fell faster than the eye could follow.

Normally such a powerful assault would be more than enough to overwhelm even a high level thief. This was why everyone assumed that Alex would defeat Kazuma in their duel. In close combat an elite knight or sword master or other warrior class was close to invincible against all other classes. Unless there was a difference of at least twenty levels, or an extremely powerful magical item was involved.

Shockingly, the busty, black haired catgirl raised her enchanted gauntlets and blocked her strikes. Or at least blocked most of them. Claire was certain some of them had gotten past and landed. But when her assault ended there was not a single drop of blood and not a solitary scratch. Claire's eyes went wild.

"Who are you?" she demanded. "No common criminal could withstand my thousand strikes attack!"

"I t… told you, I am N… Naughty Kitty."

As this was happening Lain lifted her staff. "Icicle field!"

On the floor beneath the dark haired and silver haired men magical circles manifested. Out of them a host ice spears shot out. Both guys were just able to dodge and avoid being hit. For some odd reason the black haired thief sent a glare towards Megumin who was out of mana and acting as a by stander. Claire wasn't sure but thought he heard him mutter something like…

"… see? Short chants."

As soon as the silver haired thief landed on his feet, he used a thief ability.

"Bind!"

Out of thin air ropes appeared and wrapped tight around Lain. The wizard let out a shout of surprise before dropping her staff and falling to the floor.

"Shadow! Now!" The silver haired guy shouted.

'Shadow' nodded and held out a hand. "Steal!"

Light filled his hand and the next instant he held a golden necklace.

"I got it!"

"How dare you!" Claire screamed in righteous fury.

Behind her she heard Megumin gasp, "So cool!"

Only now did Iris finally react and come out of her stupor. "My necklace! That was a gift from my brother!" She turned cold eyes towards 'Shadow.' "No matter who you are, I can't let you take that."

Iris took a fighting stance and bent her knees to charge.

Shadow hurriedly took out a metallic ball from his pouch about the size of a grapefruit. "Snipe!"

The ball struck at Iris's feet and the air was immediately filled with a grey mist. Iris, Clare, Lain, and Megumin were all instantly coughing and sneezing. By the time they recovered enough to move the three criminals were long gone and the door to the parlor was blocked up by thick spider webs.

After eventually hacking through the webs, they searched the mansion and found Kazuma bound tight in ropes just as Lain had been. This prevented Claire from lambasting him as much as she would have liked, but she still turned to the princess with a smug grin.

"It seems he's not quite as amazing as in all his stories, princess."

Princess Iris didn't seem to hear her though and was gazing at the up jumped Adventurer with fondness.

"What a scoundrel," Iris whispered much too softly for anyone to hear. "Getting a highborn lady to not only fall in love but commit crimes beside you." She let out a heartfelt sigh. "How romantic."

XXX

The following day a trio of new bounty posters appeared in Axel and other locations throughout Belzerg. One was for Shadow and one for the Gentleman Thief, both were wanted for assault, breaking and entering, and theft. Each of them had a bounty set at ten million eris, payable Dead or Alive. They were both described as young human males acting as members of the Naughty Kitty Gang.

The bounty on the gang's namesake and leader was one hundred million eris.

The three of them were all sharing a table in the guild hall. Chris was depressed and kept muttering to herself, "young man… young man…"

Darkness was glaring at Kazuma and making sure to keep her voice low. "Well, Kazuma, I hope you're pleased. You've turned me into a gang leader with a bigger bounty on my head than Black Tom's."

He shrugged and had a sip of ale. "Just think what a great story this'll be to tell the grandkids someday."

XXX

Meanwhile, in a basement of the Alexei mansion Lord Alderp was savagely beating a scrawny fellow with glasses. When he was forced to stop and was bent over panting the man at his feet looked up at him and said one word.

"Harder."

"Useless!" Alderp howled and kicked him. "Didn't I tell you I wanted Satou Kazuma dead? And not just dead but suffering a horrific and excruciating death that would make lepers cringe!"

The bespectacled man on the floor nodded. "I remember."

"Then why is he alive?" Alderp demanded. "And not only is he alive but there's not so much as a rumor of him having even a sniffle! Why is the man I wanted rotting in the ground by now in perfect health?!"

"Well about that," Maxwell said with a bland grin. "I gave him a curse, and a really nasty one at that, but there was a problem. Kazuma received a blessing from a god."

"So what?! All your targets get blessings along with healing magic when they get sick, it's never saved any of them before!"

Mark shook his head. "No, this is a little different. He didn't receive a god's blessing through a priest, archpriest, or even the head of a church. He got a blessing directly from the god."

Alderp reared back and stared as if suddenly facing a dozen angry cobras. "Him?! I don't care how rich he is, it's next to impossible to get a direct blessing! How could a commoner like him possibly be worthy of something like that?"

Maxwell shrugged. "No idea, but that's why he's still alive. I can't curse someone who is under the direct protection of a god. Sorry."

Alderp gave him an absent-minded kick but was no longer angry at the useless demon.

"Fine then, if a curse won't work, there are other ways to make Kazuma suffer."