Author's Note: Season 3, Episode 8 practically begged for an alternate ending. I mean c'mon on the makeout scene and then the lipstick line? Hoo Ha! If you haven't seen it, please watch it before reading this because I used a few scenes. Here's a series based on what could have happened had Fran really used this to her full advantage… Also, disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
"Maxwell, just admit that you're marrying this girl to spite me," Mr. Sheffield's mother commanded in Fran's Ma's living room.
"Oh, hey now, wait a minute there, Ma. I've lived with this man for 3 years and there's no way that he would ever use me like that or play with my feelings or hurt me so deeply…" Fran argued convincingly although she had already discovered Mr. Sheffield's proposal had been one of spite and had secretly vowed to make him pay for it.
Just hours ago, she told Val, "I'm gonna screw with his head so bad. He's gonna look like Mister Softee." And now she was doing just that. Right before his mother arrived, she almost had him.
She had invited him over to her mother's and when she answered the door, she had his mouth on hers before he could explain how they got into this mess.
"Hello Darling… I just…" She kissed him without a care, hot, passionate, one hand on his shoulder, the other in his hair.
"Mmm...mmm…" He dueled with her tongue to be able to speak. "Uh…Miss Fine…I mean Fran. I mean…" He tried to get out in the midst of their makeout session.
"Oh, what difference does it make what you call me? After the honeymoon night, it's just gonna be…" Then she growled at him, cupped his face, and kissed him some more.
He tried to explain as she lured him in, shut the door, and started backing him up.
"Oh, Miss Fine…" He tried to say raising a finger in a failed attempt to stop her from approaching but she was like a leopard on the prowl.
"Oh, Mr. Sheffield! You want to play that game? Okay…"
She grabbed the buttons at the very bottom of his suit jacket and practically ripped the buttons open, hands then raising to the top of his jacket to grip him as they fell back, knocking him onto the sofa. She fell too, balancing herself on one knee so she was just slightly above him - so she had leverage.
"You're the boss," She said pressing his chest, and then added "and I'm the Nanny," gesturing to her cleavage, where he was already trying not to stare.
She then reached and loosened his tie with, "You give me a raise, and I'll give you one."
He had tried to stop her. "Stop it! Stop it, Miss Fine, We're in your mother's house…" He attempted to remind her.
"So? The couch has protection," She had insisted with one hand bracing against his chest and the other wrapped around his shoulder before returning her attention back to kissing him.
He was almost powerless against her but then when their parents entered the room, he had never been so thrilled to have a makeout session with a woman interrupted. He had stood up promptly to straighten himself back out into a gentlemanly persona as he fidgeted to button his suit jacket back up.
Maxwell looked nervous, unsure how he was going to quite get out of this. "...That only a Caribbean Cruise could make up for it," Fran continued.
Maxwell turned to look at her. She smirked. She knew. Oh, was he relieved she knew.
"Well, you obviously don't know how much my son detests me. Go on, Maxwell, tell her." His mother urged.
"Oh, I don't detest you Mother, I don't know you well enough. All I do know is that you made me angry enough," Maxwell said looking at Fran. "To hurt someone I care very deeply about," He added, putting his hand on Fran's shoulder. Fran was initially looking down, avoiding eye contact but then looked into his eyes at the last part.
"Oh, you're so right, Maxwell. We've never been close. We don't talk. Perhaps, we could work on that but not now, darling. Jean Luc is waiting for me," His mother said and then left as fast as she had arrived.
Maxwell was happy at least that part was over, but he knew he still had some explaining to do.
"So, all this was just to torture me?" He asked, almost as impressed as he was relieved. Fran never ceased to amaze him.
She laughed. "Yeah. Was it as good for you as it was for me?" She threw in just to screw with his head a bit more.
He ignored the innuendo. "Miss Fine, I'm… I'm sorry to have done this to you but believe me if I was going to marry anyone in the world to make my mother miserable, it would be you," He admitted like it was something to be proud of.
"Oh, how sweet…" She smiled but then rolled her eyes and then walked to the other side of the room.
"There must be something I can do to make it up to you," He offered.
"No, there's not really," She replied, walking as he followed.
"No please, I insist - anything." He wanted - no - needed her forgiveness.
"Come on, you're insulting me."
"Are you sure?" She was letting him off too easily, he was sure.
"Well, maybe 4 things," She said confidently and he knew she had already carefully planned them.
"Don't tell Miss Babcock for 48 hours. I promised Niles." Done, he thought.
"Oh and someone's gonna have to tell Ma. I figured you'd wanna do that personally." This one scared him if he were honest.
"And the third thing is…" She bent down to pick up a small shopping bag "Well, you can return this..." She handed him the bag, adding "It's what I was gonna wear on our honeymoon night," He immediately peeked inside. "There's nothing in here but lip gloss," He said questioningly, holding the tube in his fingers.
She looked at him, down at the tube, and back at him so he'd get the picture. "Suffer," She replied with a wink. A moment of charged silence passed between them.
"Also, it's lipstick, not lip gloss. Lip gloss is shiny. Lipstick leaves a mark on my territory..." She corrected, pressing her body into his for added emphasis.
"Oh, Miss Fine…" He breathed. She pulled away and he was grateful for the lack of contact.
If she hadn't stopped, he was going to have another rather embarrassing situation to try to explain away. He was already struggling to suppress his urges earlier when she tried to have her way with him on the couch, especially with the role-playing he found exceptionally arousing. The only thing that had kept him at bay was the cold plastic of Sylvia's couch underneath him, making him highly aware they weren't alone, and he couldn't have her even if he wanted it to.
"And what's the fourth thing?" His breath hitched as he asked, trying desperately to get the picture she had just painted of the lipstick and all the places he'd love for her to leave her mark out of his mind.
Suffer - that one word she said still rang in his ears. That's exactly what he was doing, and he deserved it.
"The fourth thing? Well, I don't think you could handle hearing that right now. But let's just say the first three are for your suffering and the fourth thing is something for my pleasure."
"The Caribbean cruise? It's expensive, Miss Fine, but consider it done."
She laughed. That was just something more appropriate to say in front of his mother. "You wish…"
He arched a brow at her.
"This isn't something money can buy…"
What can't money buy? Oh. Could she mean…?
"I'll tell you later," She whispered hotly in his ear. "Just remember, you promised you'd do anything…"
He looked petrified but also intrigued.
Oh yeah, she had him good.
