When Naruto Tried to Bite Through Susano'o.


Madara had faced many kinds of pain in his lifetime. He had been stabbed, sealed, resurrected, and emotionally crippled by Hashirama's friendship speeches.

But nothing - NOTHING - prepared him for this.

It began with a weird gnawing sound.

Madara glanced up from his meditation, narrowing his eyes. "Why does it sound like termites are chewing my armor?"

He looked down.

Naruto. Clinging to his knee like a baby koala.

Drooling.

Eyes locked with dangerous intent.

Then he struck.

CHOMP.

"…YOU BIT AN UCHIHA, YOU MANIAC!"

--

The Teething Has Begun

It wasn't just a phase.

It was a war zone.

Naruto bit everything.

Scrolls? Gone.

Chakra blades? Tooth-marked.

One of Madara's ancient tomes on forbidden genjutsu? Shredded by gummy baby fangs.

A toad summoning scroll? The toad never came out again.

Worst of all?

He tried to bite the Susano'o.

Madara had summoned it in desperation. "Try biting THIS!"

Naruto waddled right up to the glowing, blue chakra construct.

Stared at it.

And bit it.

It cracked.

Madara screamed. "That's an ethereal Perfect Susano'o warrior - NOT A TEETHING TOY!"

Naruto just giggled and reached for the ribcage again like it was a crunchy rice cracker.

--

Madara tried everything.

A cooling ring: Naruto threw it at his head.

Teething biscuits: Naruto used it to draw on the wall.

A wooden kunai: Naruto broke it. With his gums.

A forbidden sealing jutsu to dull baby pain: backfired and gave him a rattle that screamed in Latin.

Eventually, Madara just sat in a rocking chair in full battle armor, letting Naruto chew on his forearm like a chew toy while questioning all his life choices.

"This is what I was revived for," he muttered bitterly. "Not world domination. Not vengeance. This."

--

During a nap, Naruto latched onto Madara's cloak with his teeth and refused to let go.

Madara tried pulling him off.

Nothing.

He gently tugged.

Naruto growled.

"…Are you bonding with my cloak? LET GO."

He finally used Kamui to phase through the cloak and escape.

Naruto blinked, still chewing air, confused.

Madara picked him up, sighed, and muttered, "I've been bested by a drooling goblin again."

--

Aftermath:

The Susano'o now flinches anytime Naruto is nearby.

Madara's forearm guard has permanent baby tooth indents.

One of Naruto's canines glows slightly, and Madara refuses to talk about it.

He now carries a pouch of teething rings like ninja tools.