Date posted: 27th April 2025
By Aincradius, by Aincradius, a new chapter of Merchant Prince!
Chapter 32: A Poisoned Proposition
"You are a little woozy."
- Fallout: New Vegas
In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Chaplain Malik told me that I was not required to include the basmallah, but he did start the tradition of starting it at every new entry. My calligraphy is indeed subpar, but at times we should adhere to tradition for tradition's sake. Unsurprisingly, the Japanese players who at times take the role of company Annalist tend to write it better. I ask for forgiveness for my horrible hiragana for all future authors.
I have at times seen Arabic inscriptions written upon the brims of the men's helmets or stitched in their clothes; complete gibberish, with no actual gameplay effect. If the captain or Malik take issue with that, they have never said anything. Even the NPCs have decided to copy them for reasons beyond my comprehension. The AI is advanced indeed for them to do so, to emulate our superstitions.
It has been three weeks since the captain's expedition left for that damnable fort. If our calculations were correct, they will already arrive at their destination. Knowing the nature of warfare and the challenge of taking some four hundred men into the orc infested tundra and mountains, they likely won't be returning to us for at least another month and a half.
The weather, to no one's surprise, has not let up. You can go into the chow hall for a quick cup of coffee only to exit and almost trip on the foot of snow you just shoveled. Quartermaster Scarlett Swordsman jokes that the Raiders have transformed into the Shovellers. Not an inaccurate observation but I told him to keep it to himself.
As company drill master and second-in-command, it is my duty to keep the remaining men and women in tip top shape here at Fort Arsite. I would have accompanied the captain on the expedition had it not been for my broken leg, courtesy of an Orc sapper's pickaxe. The captain has promoted Corporal Suzy to sergeant, and she currently leads our heavy infantry squad. I hope my lessons proved useful to the young woman.
Even so, my training expertise is of little use here at the time on the 20th Floor, for the company's skill progression has more or less plateaued and the fort's garrison finds our training too intense and hard for their liking.
Ah, I suppose I should explain myself, in the event these Annals somehow survive into the real world. Preferably in the EPUB format, the most honourable of digital formats.
Floor 20 is not an atypical Floor: one half is 'civilised' lands of towns, villages, and forts while the other half is the foot of the mountains and all the 'barbarism' you expect of something out of a West Marches campaign.
We defeated the horde just right here at Fort Arsite, the largest of the old forts. The captain's insistence of spending what was left of the dragon's hoard and a good chunk of our treasury on camels proved useful for the battle, for camels were just as good as mules if not better to handle such snowy terrain. Our skirmishes against the orcish vanguard proved useful to whittle and blunt their spearhead while the other Clearer guilds acted as the anvil. You may refer to my battle report for more information.
Yet we only discovered later that what we broke was a large scouting force rather than the main army. We didn't even slay Warlord Gorekharro, the Floor Boss. Somehow, it was enough to unlock the fort's portal to the next Floor, and most of the Clearers were simply not keen plundering the dungeons in the mountains, riches and magical items be damned. Even the booty from the battle was miserable, for orcish equipment simply did not fit human hands and bodies unless you are high of STR and absolute of unit.
For the last few Floors, player levels have more or less plateaued. Ever since Floor 19, when the Sons of Mars slew the great «Thunderbird» Floor Boss with the Rumine tribe, player levels have hovered around the same level.
Ideally, you have 100 Floors for 100 levels, with an additional or plus 5 levels for what most players would consider to be in the 'safe zone' to take on level appropriate content. Whereas, once it took a player one or two quests or dungeons to level up, now it would take six or seven times that number. Even the Clearer expedition to break the Warlord Gorekharro scouting force was barely enough to level up. Not an issue for most of the player base, who are often a few levels behind, but for us Clearers, it was a sign of things to come.
Most of the Clearer guilds have left, for better pay and better weather both. A dwarven merchant city or somesuch. News from the few traders speak of a great fleet of stone pirates, menacing the shores of the Dark Sea. The men have asked us, not without reason, why the captain insisted we stay here when all others have left.
And I answered truthfully: we needed the money. The treasure from the Red Dragon's hoard from the 12th Floor has long evaporated. You'd think a King's ransom is a lot, but it is not so when you're splitting them between five different guilds. We spent most of it on the usual materiel. Loot from dungeons are often of higher value than the contracts you'd receive from a local lord. If we cannot make up our strength with the lack of levels, we would so in the quality of our gear.
The last guild to stay was the Defenders Immaculate, and they only stuck around long enough to ensure most of the villages around the fort were safe. Sold us the last bits of metal to ensure that our «Blackguard »sets were in tip top shape, and even then they've been outlevelled 7 Floors ago.
Tomorrow, I will continue training our men, the castellan's men, and ask Scarlett to procure more supplies. Maybe even send our men to this dwarven city. They could use a bit of a break and my tobacco pouch could use a refill.
If the captain does not return in a set amount of time, we will go and find the rest of the Raiders. I pray it does not come to that.
Signed,
Der Hochmeister
Professor Helmuth von Iver of The Raiders
They had ditched their noisy and heavy mail in some bushes, preferring to move fast and light in their aketons. The axe on Asuna's hip would have been heavy and unwieldy had she not branched out into «Hammers». The perks did not transfer exactly, but the heft and feel of the weapon certainly did.
She whacked the guard in the head with the blunt part of the axe sending him tumbling to the floor and caught him at the last minute so as to not make a crash. A dozen feet from her, Argo was expertly choking a guard out.
After stuffing both guards into a closet, they moved quickly and quietly down the hall.
"Coulda be quieter, you know," the info broker chastised. "We're lucky that there ain't anymore guards on this floor."
"Well sorry for not being a rat, Rat." Asuna could do the odd sneaking up on a bandit camp and charging from the bushes, but that was the extent of her mediocre «Stealth» skills. "Damn, if only Sinon were here …"
"Like Kii-bou said, I'm sure Sinon has her reasons. Now keep a lookout, I'm going to pick this lock. Um …"
"What is it?" The both of them had reached the end of the hall where only a single nondescript door stood in their way.
"I didn't bring any lockpicks. Give me your hairpin."
"I don't use hairpins." Argo had no idea how much work it took Asuna to braid her hair everyday. "Can you kick it open?"
"I could, but that's too much noise. Hold on, let me think of something."
Nodding, Asuna turned her attention to the hallway. She cracked her fingers, stretched her neck, just waiting for a dozen guards to round the corner, axe and her «Thunder Guard» buckler at the ready, courtesy of the men of the Eternal Watch. She really should use it more often, instead of keeping it in her pack, in fear of scratching it.
"I got an idea," said Argo, removing her gloves. "Give me a sec."
Asuna kept her eyes straight forward, only to look back when she heard the creaking of metal. What the -
Argo was wearing the same 'uniform' that the rest of them had decided, but whereas the other girls wore full sleeve gambesons under their hauberks, the Rat preferred a sleeveless one, with the sleeves clearly torn off. She had thrown her «Saboteur's Cloak» over one shoulder, exposing a muscular arm.
"Hgh! This thing's made of sterner stuff!" she grunted, as she began squeezing the life of the door knob.
She wasn't ripping it off, even though Argo could easily have done that. Instead, she was crushing the door knob into dust. Her already impressively powerful arm flexed, cable popping across its entire length. Her thick forearm became a network of veins, her bicep and triceps bulged twice their size. A bead of sweat began trickling down from her shoulder, the growl that escaped her throat …
"Come on, you little punk …" she husked.
Asuna found herself gulping, her duty completely forgotten.
It took Argo a grand total of ten seconds to turn the chunk of brass into a flat piece. "Aaand done!" she said, pushing the flat knob to the other side of the door where it landed with a soft thud. "I've been slacking in my exercises, remind me to get heavier weights when we get back."
"Sure thing," said Asuna, wishing she was a door knob.
Argo's muscled arm relaxed, even if it was still pumped. Asuna almost growled when she hid it under her cloak again. "Something wrong, Aa-chan?"
The swordswoman shut her trap. "Nothing. Let's move."
The door swung open, revealing a nondescript storage room. Racks of boxes lined the wall, foodstuffs mostly, as well as a few silverware. The latter could net them a fair bit of profit, but that wasn't their mission here. They snooped around and didn't find much.
"You sure this is the place? Maybe this is the wrong room," said Asuna.
"No, no. Kancil's intel is solid. Look harder, there must be something here."
They searched for another five more minutes before Asuna decided to take a break. She sat on a crate of what appeared to be cabbages and leaned against the wall. "Well, I'm done. I'm not really good at this sleuthing thing. I hope Sachi-chan appreciates this."
"To be fair, we did get her in trouble in the first place," said Argo, standing on her tippy toes reaching for something atop the shelf. She failed to do so.
"We saved her from a bunch of pirates!"
"Yep, and these same bloodthirsty pirates now have a bounty on her head. Look, Kii-bou was willing to stick himself in a fort of NPCs for an entire year just to help them, you don't think he's not gonna help an actual human being?"
"Yeah, I guess you're right. He's always been like that." And Sachi was a hell of an alchemist too, it'd be a shame to lose her after this whole business was done.
"Huh, what's this?" Argo removed a box of cutlery to notice a sign inscribed on the wall. Asuna joined her as they both inspected it.
"Hmm, looks like something a mage would write. Some of the inscriptions back at Eternal Vigilance looked very similar." She brushed her fingers against it, nothing. "And there's skid marks on the floor too. Maybe we need to recite something?"
Argo flipped through her notebook, re-reading the notes that Kancil left her. "Hmm, hold on. Yeah, I think this is it. Uh, how do you say this?"
"Say what?"
"I can't read this, he wrote it in English!"
"I thought you could read English."
"I mean, sure. But not well." Argo squinted at her notes, bringing it up to her nose like Asuna's granny reading something on her phone. "Op … oop? Oop! Open … say? Seh? Sex? No, that's not it."
"Gimme that!" Asuna swiped her notebook and read it. "It says open sesame."
"Oh, I love that show!"
Before Asuna could say anymore, a section of the wall began to glow. It became hazy like that of a mirage before finally disappearing. They moved the rack, to see a tunnel lit by glowing blue gems embedded in the ceiling.
"Good work, Aa-chan. Couldn't have done it without you. If you want me to, I could always go crushing around more hard things while you ogle at me," she said, winking.
Damn Asuna's low «Stealth» skill. "Just shut up and watch for traps."
They slowly but surely made way down the flight of steps, getting deeper and deeper into the mansion.
They reached a heavy duty door and found themselves in a large chamber, an office with rows and rows of books and scrolls. And who was running the place but a small group of particularly hairy scribes.
All heads turned to the two intruders. It took the both of them a moment to process what easily they were looking at.
"Aa-chan, I ain't eaten anything weird at the party, did I?"
Asuna herself blinked repeatedly, as if trying to fix her vision. "And I thought that orangutan Yuuki and Sachi-chan were talking about was a joke …"
The lead scribe was a big fat and balding orangutan, orange and white. It had a pair of glasses perched upon its snout, looking up from the scroll it was penning. It exchanged looks with its fellow scribes, who all seemed to be younger than it, and reached for something under the table. It would almost look comical had the two of them were not in actual danger.
"Hold on, we can work this out," said Argo as she brought her cloak upwards as numerous missiles struck and bounced off her cloak.
Asuna quickly glanced at what the primates threw: quills, sharp and solid like Sinon's knives. But they weren't actually metal, as a sheen glinted on the goose feather.
Uh oh. "Argo! These monkeys have magic!"
"Actually, orangutans are technically part apes. You know, reminds me when we broke into that prison back at Mankh -"
Before Argo could reminisce further, two leather bound books slammed into her stomach, sending the petite girl back into the doorway, cloak be damned. Asuna dodged the next book, just barely, as another clipped her in the head as her helmet absorbed the damage.
She would have split one of the scribes with her axe but the orangutan was more agile than she had expected so instead she split a book that it was working on, leaping away to safety. She cringed a bit, as the pretty illuminated text was completely ruined.
"Listen, I just need a bit of info on ..."
The orangutans turned vicious, baring teeth, foaming at the mouth, and beating their chests. Hefting her looted buckler upward, Asuna prepared for battle as Argo joined her side.
"Ah. Never a dull moment with Kazuto, huh?" said the Rat, not looking too worse for wear.
"Keep the chief scribe alive. It's gonna take forever to find Sachi-chan's documents."
The room exploded with the screeching of apes and the battle cries of the players.
"I'd appreciate it if the both of you walk faster, I don't want this to take forever."
The pirate lord snorted. "Of course, good ser. I would hate to be a bad host."
"That's why I appreciate your hospitality, lord."
"Just so," said Warad-Aru XI.
A dozen plans formed in the merchant's and not a single one of them were good enough for Kirito. Sure, he could probably tank the bolt to his back because he always made sure his clothes were thicker than usual, but if Yu was smart enough to slid poison into their drinks, he'd likely be smart enough to poison his bolts. Sinon didn't often poison hers, but from what she told of other hunters, there were poisons that could give a bear a heart attack.
"Uh, those bolts aren't poisoned to kill, right?"
Yu said nothing.
"Right?"
"We're almost at my office, I have a man standing there …" said Warad-Aru.
"Send him away or I'll send him to hell," said Yu.
The man stood at the end of the hall, leaning against the wall, a long baton hanging from his belt. Like most of the guards at Seawolves Cove, he wore a simple mail shirt with a surcoat. The guard stood at attention when he saw them coming.
"My liege, all is well. Who are these men, if I may ask?"
"These are my guests, Karo. Just a quick business deal. Why don't you go have some beer on me, eh?"
Karo's eyes widened, his mouth opened just a bit before he finally shut them. "O-of, course lord. I'll get on it."
Karo walked quickly down the hall. A little too quickly, Kirito realised.
Yu did too as he swung his crossbow back and shot Karo right in the back of leg. The guard crashed to the carpeted floor.
"Wha - what?! Why did you do that?!" Warad-Aru demanded.
"Codeword. You were asking him to get reinforcements," said Yu. "Don't worry, the man's not dead. Not yet anyway. Do this quickly, I'll even give him an antidote. Fishmonger, drag his body to the office, will you please?"
The pirate lord growled something under his breath, Kirito said nothing and complied.
They entered the office and just like the party below, it wasn't what Kirito expected: it was a large space for sure, rich wood lining the walls matching the red carpet; behind the expansive table at the end and shelves filled with all sorts of books and documents; in one corner was a completely spotless fireplace, with luxurious sofas and decanters of priceless alcohol on a silver table. It was rich and wealthy, but not ostentatious, just the right amount of wealth to suggest class without overindulging; even Lord Fedir's solar was more gaudy than this.
Leaving the guard as doorstop, Kirito and Warad-Aru found themselves standing in the middle of the office, crossbow and blade pointed right at them.
"Now what?" asked the pirate lord.
"I know you have a logbook for this sort of thing, the men and women you enslave with debt. Show it to me, now."
Despite the fact that Kirito was very much slowly dying from a most dangerous poison, he could not help but be impressed at the man's moral code. Warad-Aru wordlessly went to one of the shelves and searched for something.
"You know, Mister Yu, I don't have anything to do with this. I'm an innocent bystander! Why don't you just give me the antidote and let me finish my ice cream downstairs. No offense, my lord."
"None taken, fishmonger," said the pirate, scanning his shelves. "Damn, I really should have one of the apes reorganise this."
Kirito was sure he misheard something but before he could say anymore, the so-called spice merchant spoke up.
"I overheard you, you fool. All your petty little criminal enterprises, selling drugs to the weak and the meek. By any rights, I would cut your tongue, but I promised myself I would keep the bloodshed to a minimum tonight."
Warad-Aru snorted as he took out a book, realised it was the wrong one, and placed it back. "You sound like those fool ghazis from the desert, all zealotry and self righteousness. You think you can stop man from being better than his base nature?"
"If I don't see that book in the next minute, I will slice your friend's throat right here and now."
"Please search faster," Kirito squeaked. A man who sneaks into a heavily armed base either doesn't know what he's doing or knows exactly what he's doing.
Mercifully, the book was found almost immediately. "Here. What do you want me to do now?"
"How many logs do you have under 'S'?"
Warad-Aru licked his thumb and flicked the pages. "Twenty or so. Why?"
"I want you to pick up that candle on your desk and set fire to all of the Scrolls with the name 'S'. Now."
At that, the pirate laughed. "I will do no such thing."
Kirito felt cold steel touch his throat. It was wet with something nasty.
"Please, do such a thing, my lord."
"You misunderstand, assassin. You think I put my contracts here, in my office?" He shook his head, laughing. "I've another chamber to do that. I'm afraid you've wasted your time."
"Oh, I knew. That's why I don't work alone. As we speak, the rest of my brothers have penetrated the scriptorium under your mansion, the one with all the orangutans. And by the end of the night, you won't have your little arena either."
Yu grabbed the logbook and placed it in his satchel. His crossbow went left, striking a pile of papyrus papers, lighting it on fire.
An enchanted flame bolt, thought Kirito. Not a cheap thing. This man is high level.
At this, Warad-Aru looked ashen. "What are you doing?! My spells!"
He ignored the growing flame and the pirate lord's panic. "I said I'd like to keep the bloodshed to a minimum. I'm a man of my word.
"But the minimum isn't none."
He sheathed his knife in his coat and produced another hand crossbow, this one loaded with a simpler steel bolt and pointed it at the man's head.
"Sic semper tyrannis."
Now, Kirito wasn't entirely sure what he was to do. So when he did react, it surprised even himself.
One of the parts of being a hunter, aside from the usual hunting of meat and pelts, was the capture of wild beasts.
Sinon knew that thousands of years ago, the Roman Empire hired specialised hunters called venatores to do such a task. They would go far south to provinces like Egypt and parts of Africa, capturing such dangerous animals like lions, tigers, bears, elephants, and even the most dangerous beast of them all: the hippo.
There were also rumours of a very specialised unique crossbow called «Venator», said to shoot bolts rapidly with the power of a siege crossbow, but no one had found it yet so it was probably not real.
To Sinon, anyone who dared to capture and transport nature's bulletproof angry SUVs were either brave, stupid, greedy, or some combination of the three. She had done similar jobs in the past, but found that she wasn't all that cut out for it; you need a crew of players with specialised builds to do the job, and the money and food to transport them to the many arenas dotting Aincrad.
She had done such a job in the early days of the game, before she styled herself a slayer. It was usually wolves or the like, even the odd bear, which somehow worked despite her doing it solo. But she was too relaxed with the job and too careless, and one day she misjudged a bear's strength. Suffice to say, she learned her lesson and decided that beasts pay pretty well at the end of the day.
Now, there's a lot of ethics that we can go into right now, but we've got an adventure story to follow through.
It didn't take long for Sinon to trail the FuurinKazan and their captors to what was clearly an armoury/training area. There weren't many other contestants it looked like: there was an elf twirling dual shortswords; a bunch of young ragged looking men who looked like the kind of bandit that threatened every road in the castle; and finally a heavily injured dwarf on a bench, being treated by a healer. None of them paid attention to the newcomers.
Disguises were more of an Argo thing compared to her sneaking around in the bush, but she did what the Rat told her and put on another camouflage.
She just walked in and pretended she was supposed to be there, taking up a spot next to the elf.
Sinon made small talk, "So, stab anything as of late?"
The elf did not cease his practice. He was a tall man whose noble features would have made him handsome had it not been his stony face and dead eyes. Like that elf girl, Kizmel if she remembered right, back at Fort Eternal Vigilance, he too had antlers upon his forehead, though his were much bigger and wilder. Apparently, this would be considered not shaving for a while amongst elves.
After realising she was speaking to him, he answered, "Killed a target and his entire family the other day. The pay was good. I spent it all on drugs and whores."
Oh boy. "Same, same. Did that too, minus the drugs and whores. Name's Asada. So uh, wanna shoot targets?"
He looked at the clock candle in the corner of the room. "Sure, those fools will die anyway. And mine is Seyo."
The elf said something about her little crossbow but Sinon wasn't hearing any of it. Over the twanging of their weapons, she kept her ears out to the jailors and the FuurinKazan. Not that she needed particularly high «PER» to listen to them.
"Your duty is simple and to the point, prisoners," said the head guard, who unlike the Darhaka pirate from before, seemed to be most polite and professional.
"The trial of the arena is a sacred thing, long before the rise of the false demigod that was Aincradius and his band of pillagers. Even after the fall of our great society, we keep it true, even if the bastard took the ritual as his own."
Twang! The bolt missed entirely; Seyo said something disparaging about her aim.
"According to the scripture of the Thekos Deka, the Holy Ten, it is said Aincradius was a blade for hire, a caravan guard that woke up to justice. Nay, we say! We say that he was a gladiator that rebelled against his masters! A slave soldier! Not that you will hear his temple say so."
Sinon paid attention for her next shot, this time nailing a bullseye. It was fairly challenging considering her little lachet crossbow was made for border raids, not really a weapon of war. Seyo was still unimpressed.
"And the atrocities he committed against our ancestors! The butchery, the burnings, the destruction of our libraries … why, it's enough to make an orc weep. My grandmum once told me -"
Klein mercifully cut him off. "Listen VaatiVidya, drop the loredump and tell us what we need to do."
The head guard harrumphed. "You will choose your weapons and get on the platform and fight. Worry not, we'll have you shot to bits if you decide anything funny. If you survive, you get to leave."
"That's it?"
"That's it," said the guard.
"Are you paying attention?" ask Seyo.
"Your shot is off," said Sinon.
"Damn, by two inches." He shook his head. "I can't afford my next hit of fairy dust with that kind of aim."
"Don't we get armour?" asked one of the FuurinKazan. "Didn't hear any mention of that."
"You may not. The crowd likes blood, you see. Do you agree to this contract?"
"No!" said all of them.
"Well, too bad. Pick your weapons and get on the platform in five minutes or you'll go unarmed."
There were a few racks of weapons of the expected variety, most of which wouldn't be out of place out of any castle armoury save for the nets and tridents. Sinon counted five guards in total, and as fast as she was with her latchet crossbow, that little thing was designed for drive-bys (ride–bys?) for border raids where suppressive 'fire' was the name of the game. She may hit two or three, but it won't be enough to wound them enough. Maybe, if she had a bow …
"Out of arrows," said Seyo. "Since I won, why don't you go pick them up for me?"
The elf was representative of his people, for he had made a little heart with the twenty arrows. Then an idea came to her.
"Can I borrow your bow, ser elf?"
The elf made a face that as if she asked for his firstborn child. "Absolutely not."
Sinon thought for a moment before continuing; she wasn't like Kirito who could sell water to a fish or negotiate secrets like Argo. She needed to think fast.
"Well, listen, you're going to go up next and what if your bow breaks -"
"It won't." Not a boast, but a matter of fact.
"And I doubt it will, but the thing is, us humans don't often have the time to appreciate elven bowyery. After all, you guys are the best archers in the castle. Even Aincradius had a troop of elven archers in his retinue."
At that, he raised a brow. "Did he? What were they called."
Damn, she wished she had a silver tongue now. "Oh … you know … the umm … Crow's Teeth? They carried wood .. weirdwood! Weirdwood bows into battle. It is said their arrows flew twice as far as any arrows!"
He made another face. "I've never heard such a thing as … weirdwood bows, and I know a thing about wood myself. This is a composite, mind you."
"And so gorgeous, look at their long limbs and siyahs, beautiful horns!" Sinon hated herself for doing this, how the hell Kirito did this all day was beyond her ken. "Pretty please, Ser Seyo. Let me loose a single arrow, if you don't mind!"
"If it gets you off my back, fine. But whatever bets you made with the arena master, you give half of your profits to me."
"Deal." They shook on it.
As Sinon carefully plucked the arrows from the target - the arrows went very deeply, almost to the point of reaching the fletching - she glanced back to see the samurai collect their gear, lamenting their fate and making their peace.
She returned next to Seyo and nocked an arrow. The elf looked at her as if she was handling a precious family heirloom; and considering how prized bows were to elves, this may have been the case.
Sinon took a stance, ready to swing 180 degrees and plant a feather in the guard's skull. She took a deep breath and pulled.
It was heavy, easily a good a hundred plus pounds, hard to do so without a thumb ring. It was the kind of bow used to shoot less than fifty yards, with the power that makes Granum knights carry a sturdy shield despite their plate armor. It resembled something akin to a Manchu bow, if she remembered her history books right. Her fingers moved to release it -
The heavy arrow went deep and hard, so much so it exited the guard's skull and to the next one. Wait no, the second one was too short to be an arrow, but a bolt. They fell to the floor with a thud and rattle of mail.
The would-be gladiators exploded into action, as one of the samurai gutted a guard with what a shortspear, and another had their head caved in with a two-handed mace.
"Spirits! They prisoners are rebelling!" Seyo shouted, showing another emotion that wasn't just contempt at her. Sinon realised she had yet to loose her arrow.
"Hold on, why are you aiming that at our employers?" he asked. At that, Sinon relaxed the arrow and sent a swift uppercut into the elf's chin, knocking him out. She quickly looted his quiver as well.
"Sorry, I'll give it back to you later!" said the slayer. By the time she came to the FuurinKazan, they were already riffling to the guards' pockets for the keys. The other few contestants vanished, it looks like. Wise of them but bad for her, no doubt they'd be calling the guards.
Klein came up to her, all smiles, even with the bloody broadsword in hand. "Thanks for that, slayer. God knows what we would have to fight."
"As much as I'd like to take credit, that wasn't me," said Sinon, adjusting Seyo's quiver about her waist.
"It was us," said an unfamiliar voice. Two strangers came to them, armed and armoured to the teeth.
An archer and crossbow man emerged from the They were about Sinon's age, if she had to guess, foreign, but she couldn't quite place their accents. The archer was short for a man, about Argo's height, and built like a Mongol warrior, armed with heavy scale and heavy saber. The crossbowman was a dandy, with a rich green hood that matched nicely with his red bycocket hat, a hatchet on his belt. They were players, no doubt about.
The crossbow man took off his hat and bowed, speaking in a clear but heavily accented voice. "I am Loue, this is Azen. We are of the Blue Sentinels and we are here to free you."
"Well, no we weren't," said Azen, scratching at his mustache. "We were just here as a distraction, saving you fools was a bonus."
"I appreciate that immensely. The FuurinKazan are in your debts," said Klein, and as if practiced, all six of them bowed at the hip.
"I'm just glad to see another player around," said one of the FuurinKazan, Kunimitz if Sinon remembered right. "What's the plan?"
"We've got a ship moored at the docks, but you all stick out too much. Grab the dead men's uniform and we can sneak out of here," said Loue.
Honestly, that irked Sinon quite a bit; she put a lot of work into saving Kirito's friend only to be outdone by a bunch of newcomers. "Hey! I'm here to save you first! Even missed a feast!"
"You were invited to the pirate lord's feast?" said Azen, hand resting on his sabre. "Why."
"Um, long story." She turned to Klein. "You can dock on our ship, I'm sure Kirito won't mind. Don't worry, we've got enough supplies to sail back to Stingray's Rest, if needs be."
"We ain't going nowhere until I cut off that pirate captain's head!" said Klein, standing tall. He took a step and almost fell over, had not one of his men caught him.
"Listen boss man, we appreciate that kickass one liner you said to Redcunt or whatever his name is, but we need to get out of here," said the big one.
"Fine, fine. Mind leading the way, Sinon-san?"
"Sure, I can do that." Admittedly, part of her wanted some action after such a long boat ride, but Kirito would be most sad if his friends died. "And what about you two, what are you gonna do?"
"Oh, we have some plans. By the way, do you know where the prison and animal cages are?"
At that, Sinon smiled. "I'll be glad to provide directions."
The scribe before her looked like most scribes in Aincrad: a robe, a hood, and ink stained fingers. It was hairy than most scribes though, with a strength rivaling that of an orc.
The beast grabbed her by the wrist as she was busy pummeling its face in. Argo pulled her back just to miss its raking fingers and used her weight and momentum to launch it upwards into the ceiling with a strength unbeknown to her. The ape screeched as its back slammed into the ceiling beam and it let go of her wrist. As it returned to the earth, Argo used the opportunity to deliver a World Cup level soccer kick, sending it flying against a bookcase.
It did not get back up, thank God. One down, three more to go.
Another one of the orangutans laid in a pool of its own blood, courtesy of Asuna's axe. The swordswoman (axewoman?) played the role of tank as she took the attention of most of the scribes. Her «Thunder Guard» buckler took big double hammer fists from them as easily as it was a heater shield. Argo was thankful for lack of magic from the junior scribes, as the head scribe was currently -
Oh shit. Argo's body reacted before her mind comprehended it as she jumped sideways and narrowly dodged three massive tomes that would have caved her skull in.
The Rat barred teeth. "Get back here, you hairy nerd!"
The hairy nerd did no such thing, as it swung from ceiling beam to pillar, sticking its tongue out. It was like fighting a magically enhanced toddler. She snatched one of the heavy tomes and missed entirely.
It poked its head out from the pillar it was heading behind and blew raspberries. Ooooh, that made her so mad!
"Keep your head in the game, Argo! We got this!" Asuna rallied, cracking the nose of one of the scribes with the rim of her buckler. The «Thunder Guard», true to its name, sent a shock of electricity at the orangutan, making its hair stand out almost comically.
"Whatever you say, Aa-chan!" Argo gave chase, throwing more and more books at the ape mage. They had to shut this down fast.
It had been awhile since Argo had gotten into a brawl. The last time she did was in some seedy bar at Qar Hadast, hunting down a lead. You'd be surprised at how open people were to give info when you start giving out knuckle sandwiches. Could save you a fair bit of coin too.
Most of her opponents had been humanoid or vaguely them. Humans most of the time, bandits and gangsters, the odd lawman. As of late, it was dwarves, which Argo found to be harder to wrestle with thanks to their stout strength and burly arms. And of course, now she was punching cutlass wielding pirates, as you do. It would not surprise her if she learned that she had punched more people in her year plus in this game than her old man did his entire boxing career.
Argo missed her pops. He would have won the game single handedly if he got stuck here.
The head scribe launched more of those damnable reinforced quills. Most missed, a few were swept aside with her golden dusters, and a few bounced harmlessly off her Saboteur's Cloak. She'll have to thank Asuna later after this. Preferably carnally. Preferably when Kii-bou was watching. Maybe she could even borrow Sinon's stra -
A huge quill came at her, and only a quick flap of her cloak saved her from losing an eye. Keep your shit together, Kanna. Job now, horny later.
She had thought that orangutans, being humanoids, would serve a similar challenge. Unfortunately, their long arms and great strength made them comparable to dwarves in that sense. Another thick leather bound book skidded the top of her skull and she was only saved thanks to the padded coif stitched to the hood of her cloak.
She was close now. Argo smiled, she got it where she wanted.
The head scribe realised its error. It had been back into a corner, quite literally, as it found itself no pillar or beam to climb on. Argo flexed her knuckles, her golden dusters shone in the enchanted blue light of the light gems.
"I got you now, monkey!" She advanced, guard raised, she readied herself for the most powerful haymaker known to man.
The head scribe, looking most bemused, raised a hand and shot lightning.
One moment, Argo was standing, and in the next, she found herself firmly embedded into the wall, smelling somewhat of burnt hair. She blinked, not yet comprehending what just happened. Yet her brain dredged up a memory of the time she asked her pops to throw a 'real punch' right in the stomach. She survived it, obviously, but it took three days before she was able to train again.
"Ughjw;jsajg?" she slurred. She looked downward to see the cloak had taken the brunt of the damage and miraculously survived. Maybe they should have paid Ashley more for the thing …
A smiling primate face appeared in her vision. Argo could barely hear Asuna shouting in the background. The «Disoriented»status debuff in her HUD, which resembled two rings of swirling yellow stars, said that it was still a full five minutes before it ran out. Her limbs felt like they were made of lead.
The head scribe did not bother with any fancy shmancy spells. It had a tome in hand, massive even in its own hands. She also dimly remembered watching a video of orangutans breaking a coconut with a rock.
Argo had survived many a horror since she got stuck in this damnable castle. The dread of being stuck in a video game, being shanked in alleys, countlest tavern brawls, raising a rebellion, surviving an undead/beaver siege, that amazing foursome. Of all the ways to go out, this was really down there.
"Any. Last. Words?" asked the beast.
The Rat's head swam for a cool one liner. None came up. So she said the first thing to come to mind.
"Does monkey want a banana?"
It was extremely lame and also incorrect, as Argo had previously stated to Asuna, but the orangutan did not think so considering his head freaking exploded.
"Oh, that worked," she said, and fainted.
She had no idea how long she was out, just a feeling as her body was being moved about. The Rat was only revived when she smelled something absolutely foul.
Instead of the expected face of Asuna, she instead was looking into the face of a stranger. That of an older man, with a big broad face and a thick black beard. Pops?
"She's up. Make sure she takes this potion. The dizziness will subside soon," he said gruffly. Argo blinked, and realised this man was younger than she realised, and barely looked like her father at all.
"I appreciate it, George-san. I'll take it from here," said Asuna, putting the potion away.
Asuna pulled her up but her head was still shaking. She looked around to see the corpses of the orangutans strewn around the scriptorium, many of which were clearly Asuna's work. A couple had their torso's completely crushed, no doubt thanks to the massive mace her reviver was carrying. Near the hole in the wall that she had temporarily made her resting place, was the corpse of the head scribe, a wickedly long spear was embedded into the head of the ape.
"Aa-chan? Wha … what happened?" Her «Delirious» status had yet to subside.
"I'll tell you later. Come on, we need to get back to the ship. The place is turning into a crematorium soon."
Argo could just smell something burning, and the room was becoming hot. On one side of the scriptorium, a tall woman held a torch in each hand. The man who revived her had moved on to help her, hacking at the support pillars with a greatmace.
"Lean against me. If you can't walk, I'll carry you." Asuna's hauberk was torn in many pieces but aside from that, and no doubt a few bruises, she was at least walking upright.
"Hehe. I always wanted to be carried like a princess." She didn't feel any pain, more of a sense of unease and discomfort - like wearing shoes too tight, but applied to her sternum.
"Nevermind. You can walk. Come on, let's get outta here. I'll tell you about it later."
"What about … you know …" Sachi's name did not escape her lips.
"No names will be left when we're done with this," said the woman, who in Argo's delirious state, looked like a valkyrie of all things. "Go, we'll handle it."
"The Kirito Corporation owes you one," said Asuna. The fact that Asuna used Kirito's name spoke greatly of how much that backup was needed.
The two of them left for the exit, leaving the two strangers to deal with the inferno they had created.
Kirito would be the first person to tell you he wasn't the smartest person in the room.
His grades were above average. All the adults at Argus called him a smart kid, but he was very much sure it was only flattery. At times, the devs would take his criticism of SAO into account, but no doubt it was at the bottom of the list. He was damn good with a shinai though, but that was that, and there were kendo champions who could eat him for breakfast.
But smart? No, that seemed only the case because he had somehow convinced a bunch of girls to refer to him as CEO. He actually had a fairly hard time wrapping his head around high school level math, so his decision to go full merchant surprised even himself.
And now here was pretending to be a criminal getting chummy with a pirate lord. Kirito had no doubt that at any moment, Akihiko Kayaba could swoop in, possess the nearest NPC and call him out. The fact he never saw his old boss meant the man was, for the most part, honouring his part as Game Master, even if he's got a GMPC running around Aincrad.
There comes a time and place where a man makes a decision, Kirito thought to himself. Allow something to happen, or react to it.
Many months later, he would reflect that the risk he took was calculated, but man, was he bad at math.
The bolt, despite being shot from a hand crossbow, a weapon known for its low poundage went straight through his shoulder. Yu must have landed a «Crit» for him to take such damage. Blood sprouted as if he was chopped by an axe.
It had been a while since he got seriously injured. The worst injury he suffered as of late was that time he cut himself while shaving, and yes, before you ask, he was in fact capable of growing facial hair thank you very much.
So his decision to take a bolt for the slaving, murderous, greedy pirate lord surprised everyone, including himself.
"Ssi-bal!" the assassin cursed, and raised his other hand crossbow.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash at the entrance, where a stone fist ruptured through the rich wood. Then the door exploded in splinters, bypassing the prone guard that was used to propped against, his back saved by the storm of splinters thanks to his armour.
The Darhaka known as Redbeard, Captain of the Red Dread, walked through the door like it was a curtain. He was already tall and imposing, but his stoneskin had made him almost twice as heavy, his footsteps leaving cracks in the wood floor. He looked at the blazing inferno and the man taking merchant and pirate lord hostage, frowning.
"Ah, good captain, I was hoping you'd return," said Warad-Aru, ever calm despite the property damage. "Looking for some more of that drakemeat, or were you looking to re-negotiate?"
"Need a little … help … here," Kirito said, well, more like a croak actually. The Crit damage of the bolt had left him «Bleeding» very badly, the kind of «Bleeding» you could only get if you invested in the right build for it.
Yu glared at the newcomer. Unlike Kirito however, he seemed to be better at math than the merchant was, and decided that neither his bolt nor his knife would do anything to the stone reaver before him.
"None of you are free from the Blue Sentinels' justice."
Sheathing his weapons beneath his cloak, he dashed to the window and flung himself through it.
Kirito heard the shuffling of feet and Warad-Aru's bulky form stepping by his head. "Here, feed him this antidote and take the merchant to my healer, you know the way. I'll handle this."
"You would need firefighters for this," said Redbeard, his stone face moving so oddly that it stepped into the Uncanny Valley.
The pirate lord produced a vial from his drawed, no bigger than the the size of his thumb, and downed its contents. Even from Kirito's lying form, he could see and hear water dripping from his hands.
"Worry not, this is not the first time someone has tried to set my fire to my room. We shall discuss our future plans … later."
"I'll … leave you my inn's address," croaked Kirito. He was getting Delirious, a side effect of losing all his blood.
The pirate captain's neck made a sound like that of a grinding stone as he shook his head. "I expect more favourable rates, Seawolf."
As Kirito was carried over the pirate's very hard and sharp shoulder, he could only watch the pirate lord summon water from out of nowhere and hose the flames down all by himself. An entire squad of guards came running up to the office as Kirito was whisked to safety.
"Fumio Fisheries will reward you greatly for this, good man." Great, another pirate he owed favours to.
"I take rewards in gold only," said Redbeard.
His teachers were right, he really shouldn't have skipped his math classes to play video games.
It spoke to the efficiency of the Seawolves that it took but a single night for the whole hullabub to die down.
Most of the guests had no idea what had happened. The Lord of the Seawolves' staff had quickly evacuated the guests around the arena to someplace safer, the majordomo citing something about 'mad minotaur disease'. Warad-Aru returned to his guests, all apologies and charm. Any grumblings on the lack of bloody entertainment was squashed as it was replaced by games of chance in the main hall. The extra casks of wine also helped.
Of all the guests, the Kirito Corporation was the first to leave, as they quickly made their way back to the inn. After a quick trip to the pirate lord's personal chirugeon, Lisbeth and Yuuki hauled their wounded boss back to his room. Sinon was next to arrive with new friends on the Fish Fear Me. Finally there was Asuna and Argo, returned at dawn, with the latter needing the help of a back alley healer to set her broken bones back together.
It was an overall eventful night.
"Not for us! I missed all the action!" complained the purple haired squire. Asuna was too tired to chastise Yuuki for her attitude. In the meanwhile, Lisbeth got to work sending the necessary medicine and food to the samurai, beaten but not broken. Yuuki kept guard on the ship, as vigilant as any guard dog.
Most of them slept in till noon, their rest disturbed only by the innkeeper knocking his door. "Ser, a messenger."
Kirito alone went to see them, after a quick wash in the basin, and met them in the inn's eatery.
This messenger was forgettable and nondescript, a feature of any good courier. "A package from the Lord of the Seawolves, good ser."
Kirito handed them a stack of Col as they left, and ordered breakfast. Lisbeth was first to arrive.
"How's Klein and the rest?" he asked.
"They're doing good. A bit beat up, but I bought them a barrel of beer and locked the door. Yuuki-chan's keeping watch."
"That seems very unethical but as long as they don't make too much noise, I guess it'd be alright. Just glad he's with his buddies again."
"Man, I'm starving. Where's breakfast?" she asked, taking a seat.
Breakfast arrived in the form of toasts, bacon strips, eggs, sausages and an unholy amount of coffee, a small miracle considering it was almost noon.
After consuming a single piece of toast, Kirito decided that was enough and settled on his mug of coffee; last night's feast and action had left him more than full, and the antidote given to him by the healer still made him nauseous.
Not long after, the rest of the girls came down, one by one. Argo looked the worst, but she sported a brave smile.
"Morning, Kii-bou."
"Morning, Akiko. I hope you're better."
"I am when I'm with you, handsome ~" She gave him a peck on the cheek, Kirito only just remembering that he still had his glamour on; Lisbeth rolled her eyes.
Asuna was next, her hair still wet from a wash.
"How is my number one bodyguard?"
"A bit hurt, but nothing breakfast and your company can't heal." She kissed him on his forehead. Lisbeth gagged.
Sinon was the last to come, a good few minutes later. Unlike the other two, she was not harmed at all.
"Please don't say something romantic and mushy, else I'm going to barf," said the blacksmith.
"I won't," the slayer said, face neutral. Instead she slapped Kirito's ass, which made him jump and spill his coffee, almost ruining his letter.
"Good morning, submissive and breedable."
"G … good morning to you too, Sinon." Mercifully, they were the only customers there.
"From now on, fix your own damn gear," said the smith. Sinon shot her a smirk.
After a hearty breakfast in which Argo somehow ate as much as she had at the barbeque, plus sending Yuuki a plate and mug, someone finally asked the question.
"Let me guess, work from the big bad pirate man?" asked Argo.
"You got it."
All the positive energy in the room seemed to dissipate. Kirito would have to rally them again.
"I don't understand, we already destroyed You-Know-Who's contract, we don't need to work for this guy," said Sinon.
"Well, we didn't. Not technically. It's those Blue Sentinel guys. They kinda did the work for all of us. We should send them a gift basket or something," said Asuna.
"Asuna, one of them poisoned me, and then shot me in the shoulder." His arm still had a noticeable debuff and it was slow to move.
"To be fair, Kii-bou, you were getting chummy with a pirate lord."
Kirito stammered. "I'll have you know I'm doing it for the company! Besides, we've got loads of intel to share with our friends in the Clearers and for Lord Fedir too! Remember, we have a mission from the Council of Qar Hadast, to infiltrate the Darhaka and pass on intel to the Clearers."
"And have you met any Darhaka pirate?"
"Of course, I have!" Not a lie, technically. He'd have to be cautious mentioning that to Klein and his friends.
"Uhuh. Just don't get too chummy," said Argo, eying him.
"So … after we get back to Stingray's Rest, what next?" asked Lisbeth.
"So do you remember that job with that orc, Grogan? And how he asked me for help?"
"I don't like the sound of this," said the Rat.
"Well. Lord Warad-Aru also has asked me to do a job for him. They're uh … connected?"
Kirito told them his plans. Asuna and Lisbeth began arguing, Argo went, "Kiii-bouuuuuu …" while Sinon leaned back in her chair and lit up her pipe.
The real work had just begun.
Welcome back, everyone. Back to the grind.
Originally there was going to be a big scene of the monsters escaping and wreaking havoc with our heroes escaping in the chaos of that but I decided otherwise for two reasons: a) this chapter and this section of the story is long enough, and I want to go somewhere else b) I think I much prefer the way it resolves here. I appreciate all the reviews sent this way.
See you next month!
