Hey guys and welcome back!

This time we're in the Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization aka the episode that had Leonard and Sheldon showing they're both idiots, don't know how to fight, and Sheldon's ego was bigger than the state of Texas.

Also, just a heads up, I'm gonna skip the next episode, episode 10 (the episode where Sheldon and Leonard lie to not go to Penny's show and it spirals) because I've done a few test writings and there's no way for me to get a full chapter without padding the shit out of it and that's not what I want to do. I'll gloss over what happens with that event in the next chapter, but it will primarily be the episode where Sheldon gets sick.

I think that's it so let's get this show on the road.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Big Bang Theory, or anything associated nor anything else that may be added to this fic later on.

"Speech"

"Thoughts"

[Radio, TV, or altered voice]

[Book, Computer, Letter, Text Message]

*see bottom for note

{Translation}

CHAPTER 7: PHYSICS BRAWL

SHELDON'S APARTMENT

"Gentlemen, I am about to send a signal from this laptop through our local ISP, racing down fiber-optic cable at the speed of light to San Francisco, bouncing off a satellite in geosynchronous orbit to Lisbon, Portugal, where the data packets will be handed off to submerged transatlantic cables terminating in Halifax, Nova Scotia, and transferred across the continent via microwave relays back to our ISP and the X10 receiver attached to this" Howard listed excitedly to Sheldon, Leonard, and Raj before he clicked his mouse and they waited a second before the lamp suddenly turned on, "Lamp!" He finished making them all cheer.

"Look at me! Look! I've got goosebumps!" Sheldon said excitedly as he held his arm out.

"Ooh, the stereo!" Raj commented and Howard clicked making the stereo turn on and play Sprach Zarathustra causing them to slowly rise to their feet before bouncing around wildly in excitement.

Naruto just sat back and shook his head at his friends' antics before the door opened and Penny came in and waved while wearing a mini skirt and shirt. "Hey guys. Guys. GUYS!" She asked before finally shouting making them look at her. "It's a little loud!" She called making them nod before Howard typed and then clicked his mouse and the stereo turned down.

"Ok, thanks." She commented as she turned to leave.

"Hang on. Hang on. Do you not realize what we just did?" Leonard asked incredulously.

"Leonard, she literally hasn't been here for the past 8 hours and 22 minutes. How the actual fuck is she supposed to know what you did beyond clicking a mouse button and the stereo turned down?" Naruto asked and Leonard blinked before scratching his head.

"Oh, right." He commented in embarrassment.

"So... what did you do?" Penny asked deciding to humor them for now.

"We turned our stereo down by sending a signal around the world via the internet." Leonard said excitedly and Penny just blinked.

"And that's a big deal instead of just going to Radio Shack and buying a universal remote because...?" Penny asked and the guys looked at each other.

"Basically, it's a way to brag that they've connected to the world via a controlled signal. When Howards makes the IP and data public, people anywhere could access the different electronics connected to said IP." Naruto commented as he sat there.

"Oh.. okay." She commented before Howard typed.

"And now, we are live gentlemen!" He called before the lights began to flicker.

"See?" Leonard asked and Penny just looked at him blankly.

"Someone in Sichuan province, China, is using his computer to turn our lights on and off at will." Sheldon commented and Penny blinked.

"Okay... that's handy I guess. Here's a question... why?" She asked and the four looked at each other before looking back at her.

"Because we can." Howard, Leonard, and Sheldon said while Raj nodded along.

"Ok then." Penny commented before the sound of RC cars came and a corvette, viper, and mustang came out of the bedroom.

"They found the cars!" Leonard said excitedly as the cars drove around a bit before coming up to Penny.

"Uh, what are those things on them?" She asked seeing small devices hooked to the top.

"Cameras, wave hello to the world. The corvette is being controlled from New York and the viper from Japan." Sheldon commented as he was looking at the laptop.

"Oh... uh, hello." She said as she waved a bit.

"Oh, you may want to put on pants." Sheldon commented pointing at the computer making Penny frown in confusion before she widened her eyes and pushed her skirt in.

"No! No! Ew! Go away." She said as she ran to her apartment and closed the door.

"Who was controlling the mustang?" Leonard asked and Howard grinned.

"That would be me." He said happily before someone slapped his head. "Ow!" He shouted as he looked and saw Naruto glaring at him before he typed a few keys and killed the signal.

A few minutes later had them gathering up everything and disconnecting it.

"You know, in the future, when we're disembodied brains in jars, we're going to look back on this as eight hours well wasted." Sheldon commented making Naruto shake his head.

For someone so devoted to science, Sheldon was always so eager to waste time on various things.

"I don't want to be in a jar. I want my brain in an android body... eight feet tall and ripped as well as well hung." Raj commented with a grin.

"I'm with you. I just have to make sure if I'm a synthetic human, I'd still be Jewish." Howard commented making them all look at him. "I promised my mother." He said defensively, making it clear that it wasn't some weird thing for him.

"I suppose you could have your android penis circumcised... but that's something your rabbi will have to discuss with your manufacturer." Raj commented with a laugh.

"Not to mention, you'd have to power down on Saturdays." Sheldon commented idly making Raj laugh.

"Oh snap!" Raj said making Sheldon frown at him.

"Snap what?" He asked making Raj look at him blankly.

"Raj was saying you made a funny comment." Naruto commented as he checked his phone.

"OH! Well thank you." Sheldon said as he finished bundling a cable and put it away.

"Sheldon, what's this letter doing in the trash?" Leonard asked as he looked at it.

"Well, it may be that a trashcan spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor suggests that someone threw it away." Sheldon commented idly while Raj snorted before Naruto shook his head and texted him.

Raj looked at his phone and read the brief message, [Not Sarcasm, he was being completely serious.] making him blink before he shrugged and nodded as he kept putting stuff away.

"This is a letter from the Institute for Experimental Physics asking us to present our paper on Paradoxical Moment-of-Inertia Changes Due to Putative Super-Solids at the Topical Conference on Bose-Einstein Condensates next week." Leonard said in excitement.

"I know, I read the letter before I threw it away." Sheldon commented making Leonard look at him.

"Getting to the main point of my question: why did you throw it out and why didn't you tell me about this?" Leonard asked and Sheldon cocked an eyebrow.

"Because it was irrelevant due to the fact that we're not going to." Sheldon commented like it was obvious making Naruto sigh.

"What?!" Leonard asked in shock.

"Well of course, why should I waste my time standing in the Rose Room of the Mariott presenting the paper to a bunch of idiots who don't even have a basic grasp of what physics is and wouldn't know someone of genius intellect from someone who would make Neanderthals look smart?" Sheldon asked rhetorically.

"I don't know, Sheldon, those parties hosted by the Conference are said to be legendary." Howard commented, hoping they'd go since he and Raj could tag along as guests.

"Forget the parties. Are there any other awards or accolades I have that you didn't tell me about? Did I get a Nobel Prize and you just chucked it away?" Leonard asked and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Leonard, you're being a drama queen again." Naruto commented making Leonard sigh while Sheldon nodded.

"Yes, also, don't take this the wrong way, but the time you win a Nobel Prize is when I begin my research in the drag coefficient of the tassels of flying carpets." Sheldon commented making Raj and Howard snort and stifle laughter.

"Sheldon, we HAVE to do this." Leonard commented and Sheldon looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Noooo. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and breathe in enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying. Everything else is purely optional." Sheldon commented plainly.

"So, I can take all your comics, videogames, your bed, your spot, and all of your research?" Naruto commented making Sheldon look at him.

"What?" He asked in confusion and Naruto looked at him.

"Well, none of those things give the cells nourishment, help expel waste, nor let you breathe oxygen so they're not necessary for you surviving anymore, correct?" Naruto asked and Sheldon blinked and blinked.

"Touché." He commented simply before looking back at Leonard.

"Why is it that you get to dictate what we or I decide to present?" Leonard demanded and Sheldon blinked.

"I'm not dictating what you can present, but since it was my work that is being presented, I can veto any such time to present it." Sheldon commented as Leonard looked at him incredulously.

"YOUR WORK?!" Leonard demanded and Sheldon nodded.

"Yes, it was my hypothesis, my data, my research, my months of time, and my successful conclusion, you proved it with the experiment but it wasn't necessary to prove it." Sheldon commented easily and Leonard looked at him in shock.

"So, the whole of the science community is supposed to just take your word for things?" Leonard asked incredulously and Sheldon shrugged.

"They're not supposed to, but they should." Sheldon stated bluntly as he stood there. "Besides, I'm the Lead Author, so it can't be presented without me." Sheldon added as he began typing on his laptop.

"The only reason you're the lead author is because we went alphabetically." Leonard retorted and Sheldon snorted.

"The fact you actually believe that and not because I'm the larger contributor and more important on the work is further proof why I'm the lead author. It was to spare you the humiliation and understanding that it was my idea and work that led to success, it's called throwing you a bone." Sheldon commented easily making Leonard just stare at him.

"Well, regardless of what you say, I'm going to the Conference and presenting our findings." Leonard commented and Naruto snorted.

"Except it's not your findings, it's Sheldon's findings that you confirmed with the experiment. At best you could present the experiment to prove the findings, otherwise you're just taking credit that you want attributed to you that wasn't earned nor is justifiably yours." Naruto interjected making Leonard look at him.

"Come on! I proved his theory, that means it's just as much my right to present it as his." Leonard exclaimed and Naruto shook his head.

"Nope. Otherwise, people who've proved Einstein and others' theories to be right over the years would be able to claim the work as their own, they couldn't and therefore you couldn't. All they could do was take credit for proving it, which is all you can do otherwise you're just taking credit for someone else's work." Naruto retorted as Leonard just looked at him in shock and a bit of outrage.

"He does kind of have a point. I mean when I build an apparatus based on Nasa's designs, I don't get to claim it was my idea, I just get to claim I built it." Howard interjected since Naruto DID have a point on the matter.

"You've gotta be kidding me! This is a huge honor and you're all saying I should just ignore it?!" Leonard shouted.

"How is this a huge honor?" Naruto asked while trying not to look at Leonard like he was an idiot.

"Because we're being asked to present at a major conference!" Leonard exclaimed like it was obvious.

"And how is that a big deal?" Naruto asked while looking at him. "Name me 5 people that have presented at that conference in the last 10 years." Naruto asked and Leonard opened his mouth only to pause as he was thinking about it and so were Raj and Howard. "Exactly. Presenting at one of the conferences is the equivalent of throwing the opening season pitch for baseball. If you succeed, no one is going to give a shit, but if you flop at it then everyone is going to hear and know about it. You're acting like you've been asked to present a major find at the Nobel award ceremony when it's just a conference that likely won't even have 30 people attending to listen to the findings. So, what the fuck is the big deal?" Naruto asked and Leonard just stood there.

Naruto just scoffed and looked at his watch, "Ah, I gotta go. I'll see you all later." Naruto commented as he grabbed his stuff and left.

"Well, now that that's finished, I'm off to bed." Sheldon commented as he poured himself some juice and walked off.

"You know what, forget what they say, I've just as much right to present this as he does and I'm doing it." Leonard said as he walked off and Howard and Raj blinked.

"No, no. It's fine, we'll clean this all up ourselves no problem, really." Howard said sarcastically as he and Raj kept bundling the wires and putting the transmitters away.

WITH NARUTO

Naruto had gone up and changed before heading for a restaurant and walked in before smiling as he saw Ino and Alex there.

Ino was in a strapless black dress that hugged her body like a second skin and accentuated her curves while ending just past her butt.

Alex was in a red dress with a DEEP V cut that showed her belly button and her cleavage and was hugging her body well with a slit up her right leg showing it off.

It also showed that she wasn't wearing panties as there was no fabric and the slit went up to her waist.

Naruto himself was in a long-sleeved button up shirt, jacket, and slacks with dress shoes.

"Ladies." Naruto greeted as they both smiled at him and kissed his cheeks.

"Hello handsome/sir." They spoke with Ino being first and then Alex.

Since that morning that the two had talked and then hung out to go shopping, they had been doing so a LOT more often.

Alex seemed to be happier, likely because she had a female friend that she could be comfortable with, but Naruto also knew that it was due to Ino having fun with her.

Naruto knew Ino well enough to know that she likely had Alex screaming her name in pleasure when Alex's face wasn't being shoved into Ino's pussy and making each other feel good.

"You both ready to eat?" He asked and they nodded and quickly grabbed his arms and hugged them tight to their cleavage before going to the maître d and were taken to be seated while many of the men were glaring at him in jealousy while the women were glaring at Ino and Alex in jealousy.

"I see you two have been getting along." Naruto commented as Alex blushed and Ino smiled and looked at Alex with a perverted grin.

"Oh yes, she's such a smart and capable pet." Ino commented making Alex blush more and it worsened as Ino's heeled covered feet began stroking up and down her legs.

"Just be nice, she may be a hot woman but I still need her able to do her work." Naruto commented making Ino nod.

"I know, I know, work outweighs sex and fun." Ino said with a sigh as Naruto snorted and shook his head as he began looking over the menu.

"So how are things with you, sir?" Alex asked, and Naruto cocked an eyebrow.

"You don't have to call me sir all the time you know." He commented and Alex averted her eyes and shifted.

"Oh, she's not calling you that because she HAS to, babe." Ino commented with a grin and Naruto nodded.

"Ah, all right then." Naruto commented as Alex blushed more at his casual tone.

"Guess I should have figured out that you were a subservient person, you certainly showed plenty of that up until now." Naruto spoke as Alex shifted in place.

"Oh yes, you should see her when we play, she's so cute with her collar on and looking up at me for permission and being elated when she gets an order." Ino commented quietly, ensuring that no one at the other tables heard her.

She liked to tease Alex and the other women with Naruto, but she didn't want them to be completely humiliated and stared at constantly, not unless they were a real exhibitionist anyway.

"Really? Huh, I hadn't gotten her a collar yet, then again, she's not been fucked as much as other have been for me to get a lock on what her kinks were, maybe I'll have to get her one or something more... permanent in the future." Naruto commented making Alex blush and bite her lip as she looked at him semi-hopefully.

Hey, just because she didn't want a full-fledged relationship with him didn't mean she couldn't enjoy her fantasies, perversions, and other shit that got her motor running.

Ino giggled, "Oh, careful babe, you may cause her to ruin her dress if you keep that up. I'm sure you noticed the lack of a panty band when she was moving with that slit on her dress." Ino commented as Alex was trying hard not to squirm in her seat.

"True. So, Alex, you'll have to deal with that bit of teasing and not get more until later, it would be a shame to ruin that dress after only wearing it once." Naruto commented as she nodded her head in thanks, though a part of her was disappointed that she'd not get teased by her boss anymore.

"So, what did you want from this, exactly?" Naruto asked as he looked at Ino since she was the one to want the date and for it to be just some fun rather than a serious thing.

"Oh, well I wanted to have a nice night out, catch up fully with you, and let Alex here get the chance to learn more about the real you." Ino commented with a smile as she sat there and sipped her wine.

"Oh?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow and Ino nodded.

"Oh yes, if she's going to be a friend and pet, she should be closer to her boss. After all, how can you fuck her silly and not let her be closer to you even if she's not looking for serious?" Ino commented as Alex blushed a bit more.

She wasn't sure if she'd get used to Naruto and Ino just being so casual about sex and everything like it was such an open concept.

Still, she supposed that she couldn't complain when she was getting mind blowing sex and plenty of excitement and fun.

Plus the education and knowledge from working for Naruto and helping with his various projects didn't hurt either.

Beyond the occasional embarrassment, was there any down side to this job and situation?

...

...

...

...

...

Nope!

She couldn't think of one.

Maybe if she were interested in someone to date or whatever it would be, but she was free and clear and thus there were no downsides.

Sure she had to keep the sexual aspect a secret, more so for his sake than hers since she wasn't fucking a teacher or anything and thus wasn't doing anything ethically wrong while he was technically fucking an employee and student.

Although, based on how Siebert and Gablehauser were tripping over themselves to make him happy and want to stay at the university, she doubted it would matter much if it got out that he was fucking her.

I mean it was an open secret that his other assistants, secretaries, partners, and all of that had been fucked by him when they worked together/for him so why would she be different exactly?

Still, until she had a clear cut sign/information that she could be open about sleeping with him, she was going to keep it under wraps.

Although she hoped no one from work would see her out like this with him or shit would get awkward quick.

Either she was on a date with him or on a date with Ino and this would make things harder at work.

"Well, I suppose that is fair. Though a few things are still going to be kept under wraps." Naruto commented and Ino nodded.

"I figured, I know the rules and all of that." Ino commented with a semi-serious tone of voice.

"Rules?" Alex asked in confusion and Ino nodded.

"Yup, there are rules for this kind of thing with Naruto if you decide not to be in a serious relationship with him, but don't want to stop being close to him at the same time." Ino started off since she had been one of the ones to first build that rule set, she helped to make it clear why it was necessary too after an... incident in the past.

"Okay, like what?" Alex asked since this seemed a bit bigger than she had expected it to be.

"Well, first off is you back off if Naruto gets a serious girlfriend. It's both out of respect to Naruto and because you can't be petty and try to take up Naruto's attention when he's trying to be happy with someone." Ino started and Alex nodded since that was fair. "Second, you have to tell Naruto immediately if you get into a serious relationship, he'll back off and you will not engage unless Naruto has verifiable proof that your boyfriend or girlfriend is okay with you still having sex with him or you've broken up." Ino continued and Alex nodded again since that was also fair.

"Okay, makes sense and seems fair so far." Alex commented and Ino nodded.

"Three, you can't lie to Naruto about shit. If you want this to work, you have to be open with him and he will be with you. Naruto will never lie to someone except for little white lies like to hide a surprise or gift or something." Ino commented and Alex nodded before biting her lip.

"Okay, well, I kind of lied. I... well... I don't want to be in a relationship like be his girlfriend, but if Naruto wanted to be my owner and sir, I'd be interested in at least trying it and seeing where it goes." Alex admitted making Ino smirk and eye her intently while Naruto just looked at her.

"That can be done, lord knows I'm Naruto's good little slut whenever we're alone." Ino commented as she licked her lips sensually, "But you have to be in enough control to back off should he and Penny start to actually date." Ino commented and Alex nodded.

"Well, we can always try some lighter things before he fully claims me like that." Alex commented and Ino smirked.

"Now you're catching on." Ino stated approvingly. "Anyway, the fourth thing is that you will not tell anyone other than those sleeping with Naruto about you doing so or whatever is talked about between you. Neither Naruto nor I or a few others that have history with Naruto are looking to have our discussions exposed to people. It doesn't matter if you're trying to help a girl get with Naruto or take things more seriously to get him a girlfriend, you will NOT talk about privately discussed things with ANYONE." Ino said seriously and there was a bit of a glare to reinforce that point and Alex nodded.

"Got it, zip it about personal stuff unless we talk about it in public company." Alex simplified and Ino nodded.

"Fifthly, if you decide to try and add more women to the fun with Naruto, you have to run it by him and let him say yay or nay on it. Just because a woman is hot or nice doesn't mean she would click well with things and for all you know, Naruto may have history with her that's best left buried." Ino continued and Alex nodded.

"So, newcomers have to be run past Naruto first before they can be invited to anything. Got it." Alex replied making Ino nod, but had to stop herself from continuing as the waiter came by and took their orders before leaving again.

"Sixth, do not get jealous. If Naruto spends time with a woman more than you, it's not because he favors her more than you, it may be that something is going on and she needs support, or there's an anniversary that you're unaware of. If you're feeling neglected, talk to him, don't get huffy and bitchy." Ino continued and Alex nodded.

"Fair enough." She responded, though guessed her just showing up the other day with those documents was possibly pushing the line.

"Seventh, if you decide you want a more serious relationship than you have to talk to Naruto immediately. The last thing he or anyone else needs is you stewing in desire or indecisiveness and eventually making things awkward or weird." Ino continued and she nodded again.

"Eighth, unless you personally know the girl and know that she would not make a good addition, you cannot get upset over Naruto having any kind of relationship with her. You aren't his girlfriend or a primary lover, thus you have no right to dictate who he sees nor how he does so." Ino said and Alex nodded.

So far this just sounded like typical stuff of a relationship: don't be petty, jealous, talk about private matters, etc etc.

"Ninth, breaking the rules results in getting cut off from Naruto and others. You can appeal and attempt to show your side of things to three or more of us with Naruto, but if we find it substandard then you're out until you find some way to make it up to Naruto." Ino continued to list making Alex nod.

"10. You will not fight or bully or get into a shouting/screaming match with any other women unless they were in the wrong. We don't need fights popping up when we're just trying to have a good time and have fun. If you and another girl don't get along no matter what, then tell Naruto immediately so he can ensure any future planned fun is done separately." Alex nodded again since that was completely understandable.

If some girl was a bitch, in her opinion, she wouldn't want to be around her when having fun with Naruto…

Well….

Maybe if she got to dominate her.

But still, anger and hostility didn't always blend well with sex and could kill the mood.

"11. If you're going through some shit, tell us. We're fucked up, but we're still basically a family and we look after each other and help where we can. So if you're going through something, tell us or at least Naruto and we'll help you get through it." Ino said and Alex nodded with a smile.

"Okay." She said still smiling.

"12. As unlikely as it is, if you think you may be pregnant, tell us. Don't hide it, don't try to deal with it on your own, or anything like that. That's a serious thing and despite what you may feel, it's not bad or a burden." Ino said as she looked at Naruto with a smile on her face.

"Oh! Do you-" Alex started and Naruto shook his head.

"No, I have no kids, not for lack of trying in some cases." Naruto said before eying Ino, who giggled a bit before taking a sip of her wine.

"But I'm not opposed to children, I'd love to have some, preferably after I'm married but if it happens before I'm not going to be upset." Naruto explained and she nodded.

"That's a bit of relief, but I don't want kids right now. I'd rather focus on school and advancing myself." Alex said and Naruto nodded along with Ino.

"And there's nothing with that, sweetie. Not every woman wants to be a mother, not every woman should be a mother, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to focus on your goals and dreams before considering having a family." Ino said with a smile as Alex returned it.

"Thank you, though I have to admit that this is weird." Alex said making them raise an eyebrow at her.

"Oh?" Ino asked curiously and Alex nodded.

"Yes, it's just... this feels so surreal and like I'm in a dream or something. I mean you're both talking about a multi-casual relationship like it's as simple as breathing. You're also describing it as a family and it being more than just sex and fun, it's a lot to take in and seems too good to be true to be honest." Alex explained making them nod.

"Well, we understand, it can be a bit overwhelming, but we're not going to push you into anything. We'll go at your own pace and you can join this as slowly or quickly as you want." Naruto said and Alex smiled in gratitude.

"Thank you, sir." She said with a smile before the food came and they ate and chatted, Alex getting to know both of them and Naruto getting to know Alex more while catching up more with Ino.

Eventually the night came to an end and they left the restaurant, "See you later stud, Alex and I still have some things to do." Ino said as she kissed him lightly and Alex did so as well before the two waved and got in Ino's car before leaving while Naruto got in his own car and left too.

Arriving back at the apartments, he parked and got out before heading upstairs to his apartment before his phone chimed, [Can't wait to see you! I miss you!] It read from Alexis making Naruto smile before he sent a heart emoji back and turned in for the night.

The next morning had Naruto waking up alone and making himself breakfast before he left and found Penny talking to Leonard, "What's up guys?" Naruto asked as they turned to look at him.

"Oh, Leonard has to give a presentation for a science thing and wanted my help picking what to wear." Penny said making Naruto raise an eyebrow and look at Leonard.

"Really? I hope he's only presenting the experiment and not the hypothesis, theory, and original idea itself." Naruto said as he looked at Leonard while Penny looked confused.

"Why not?" She asked and Naruto snorted.

"Imagine you got a major part in a movie." Naruto started off and Penny nodded, "Now imagine you do great, if not excellent and perfect in all your acting scenes and then just need a double to do ONE stunt for the entire movie." He continued and she nodded again, "Now imagine that during an interview that you didn't go to, the double takes credit for EVERYTHING involved in your role in the movie and not just the one stunt that they did. You get some credit, but it's still presented like the double did the majority of the work. THAT would be what Leonard is doing if he presents more than his contribution to the research." Naruto explained and Penny looked at Leonard with a look that clearly said, 'you better have a good answer for this or there will be hell to pay' and Leonard stammered.

"I contributed; I should be able to present it!" Leonard defended and Naruto just looked at him.

"Now you're sounding like a child who had a toy taken away and is upset." Naruto said calmly.

"Naruto." Leonard started only for Naruto to cut him off.

"Look, I get it, you're suffering from a feeling of invalidation from your parents and teachers because you were constantly compared to your siblings. However, being an asshole about things to get recognition when it's only temporary and not going to get you any real notice is stupid. Just do the presentation on your experiment and cover the points of each aspect of it, but give Sheldon the credit for the theory and process or you're gonna be a jackass to many of the community if they found out you took credit for someone else's work." Naruto said as he shook his head and Leonard sputtered at him.

"In addition, do you really want to deal with Sheldon if you go through with this and he gets pissed at you doing shit like this?" Naruto asked as he looked at Leonard.

"Oof, I wouldn't want that. He's already annoying as it is." Penny said and Naruto snorted.

"All I'm saying, is that you should only take credit for what you did, not the entirety of the research. If Sheldon doesn't want to submit his findings then that is his right, the fact that you won't respect that and want to just get low grade validation for something you only contributed to, speaks against you more than anything. You'll get two seconds of validation and then you'll be right back where you started, only now Sheldon will be pissed and you'll have lost the respect of people when they learn that you were presenting someone else's work as your own." Naruto said as he looked at Leonard, "If that's worth it, well you've now lost all respect I had for you. Choose wisely." Naruto said as he pecked Penny on the cheek before walking off as Penny looked at Leonard.

"Well?" Penny asked and Leonard didn't say anything for a minute.

"What the hell is wrong with me wanting to get credit and recognition?" Leonard asked and Penny shrugged.

"Nothing, it's just a matter of if you want recognition because of something you did or because you're connected to something someone else did and you helped to do it. I mean didn't you do group projects in school?" Penny asked and Leonard frowned.

"Yeah." He answered and she looked at him.

"And how often did your partners take credit for stuff you did?" Penny asked as Leonard opened his mouth before he closed it and frowned. "Exactly. Now come on, I'll help you pick something to wear, if nothing else we can try to make you look good when you're being an asshole." Penny said as she headed for his apartment.

"I'm not being an asshole." Leonard groaned and Penny rolled her eyes.

"And if Sheldon was trying to do what you're doing to you?" Penny asked and Leonard was silent.

"That's what I thought." Penny commented as Leonard didn't answer for a minute.

"So are you two even talking?" Penny asked and Leonard shook his head.

"Not only is he still not talking to me, but there's this thing he does where he stares at you and tries to get your brain to explode. You know, like in the classic sci-fi movie Scanners?" He asked as he put his index and middle fingers on his temples and pressed in while looking like he was concentrating.

Penny just stared at him. "You know 'bzzz-pchew!' Never mind, point is he's batcrap crazy and can't compromise to save his life or anything he holds dear." Leonard said as it was clear she had no idea what he was talking about.

Going to Leonard's closet she opened and looked at what he had. "Corduroy suit, junk, junk, crap, please burn this not even a donation bin should have it, nope, nope, nope. What is this?" She asked as she held up a leather suit.

"Careful, that's a flight suit from Battlestar Galactica." Leonard said and Penny raised an eyebrow.

"Replica or actual prop? If it was an actual one I'd think you'd put it plastic or something to protect it." Penny said since Naruto and she had had various forms of pillow talk counting him explaining the collectibles to her.

She still didn't get it entirely, but she got the gist of it when he put in perspective of if she had a championship ball, ring, or jersey of a favorite athlete and she wanted to have it and show it off to others who would understand it.

"I was told prop, but still waiting back on authentication from a reliable company." Leonard answered and Penny nodded before putting it back.

"Superman snow globe thing." Penny commented pulled a tall glass domed object off the shelf that showed some futuristic city.

"Yeah, the shrunken city of Kandor." Leonard said in surprise.

"Yeah, Naruto reads his comics to me sometimes and other times, I skim them when I'm bored." Penny explained as she put it back on the shelf. "Is this seriously your only tie?" She asked pulling a hanger out with a tie on it.

"Yeah, but it's reversible and I only have the one suit so..." Leonard explained making her shake her head,

"Is this really all you have?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, everything since the 8th grade." He explained making her look at him. "My last growth spurt." He explained making her nod.

"Okay, Corduroy suit it is, but all you're getting from me for birthdays and Christmases for the foreseeable future are clothes because this." She said as she motioned to his closet, "Is sad." She finished and Leonard nodded.

"Ok, I get it." Leonard said and she shook her head.

"No you really don't, but you're not gay nor are you Raj so it's understandable." She said as she gave his suit and tie along with a pair of slacks he had hanging there.

She then stepped out of the room for him to change while shaking her head a bit.

These guys really were hopeless in non-science and nerd related matters, she still had trouble believing Naruto was just as much of a nerd as they were.

She'd have to hope that Naruto came to the conference so he could explain things to her rather than her sit there trying to figure it out and get bored before possibly falling asleep.

She then looked as Leonard came out and she nodded since it was the best they were going to get, though she did humor him when he was telling her about the experiment stuff.

Admittedly she'd ask Naruto to explain it since Leonard was possibly going to make his role seem more important but whatever.

LATER

Penny came down the stairs to get her mail when she saw Sheldon there. "Hey Sheldon." She greeted as she came and got her mail. "Anything good?" She asked as she got hers.

"Just my copy of Applied Particle Physics Quarterly." Sheldon said and Penny nodded.

"Oh, Naruto got his already. He mentioned that you'd probably want to pay attention to page 46 when you got there." Penny commented making him nod as they walked up the stairs.

"So, are you still pissed at Leonard? I know you guys have a bit of a feud going on." She asked and Sheldon nodded.

"A feud? No, the Hatfields and McCoys had a feud. Galileo and the Pope had a feud. Martin Luthor and the Church had a feud. What we have is beyond a feud." Sheldon said as they ascended the stairs making Penny hold her hands up at him. "Although, I guess I am still upset with him. I usually don't care enough about this sort of thing to get angry let alone "pissed" as you called it." Sheldon said and Penny nodded.

"Do you think it's because this time it's a friend doing it? I mean when you're mad or hurt by a friend is tends to take a different kind of toll on you." Penny offered as Sheldon tilted his head.

"Huh... that could be it. Having a physiological manifestation from unconscious emotional turmoil could explain the anomaly concerning my bowels." Sheldon explained and Penny blinked at him.

"I know I'm going to regret this, but what?" She asked and Sheldon just looked at her.

"I couldn't poop this morning." He said bluntly making her nod.

"Ah, well, Naruto has pointed out a lot of things to Leonard to make him understand that he shouldn't present anything other than his experiment, and maybe pointing to some details that the experiment proved as he did, but I've no idea if he's actually listened. He's kind of attention starved." Penny commented making Sheldon nod.

"Yes, he's always been rather eager to get approval and attention from people, hence his rather blatant attempts at getting women to notice him. I've joked with Koothrappali that it's a toss-up if Howard or Leonard's attempts are sadder." Sheldon commented and Penny nodded.

"Well, Howard definitely wins in creepy." Penny commented making Sheldon nod.

"True and they're rather inelegant too." Sheldon said as Penny nodded.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Naruto and I are going. Moreso that Naruto is going to explain things to me and me going to see one of these conference thingies in person." Penny said and Sheldon nodded.

"All right, though I'd tell you that there are better symposiums and conferences to go to. The only real good thing about this one is that they usually have a rather pleasant buffet complete with a cocktail bar." Sheldon said and Penny nodded.

"Well, if nothing else, I should be able to get a good drink." She said as they reached their floor. "Although I think Naruto will explain your research better than Leonard, he kind of focused more on what he did than what you did. I think he said something about you being lucky about your hunch being right." Penny commented as Sheldon froze at his door and Penny blinked, already guessing she should have left that part out.

"Lucky hunch?" Sheldon asked slowly as he slowly turned his head to look at her, which creeped Penny out a bit.

She didn't know if it was real or imaginary, but she swore she heard his neck cracking as he turned.

"I didn't say it." Penny said with her hands up in defense of herself.

"He said lucky hunch?" He asked and Penny could imagine the steam coming out of his ears or his head popping off in a boom of steam.

"Something like that yeah, I mean I guess he just wanted to show off some, don't know if he meant it." Penny said slowly, not wanting him to blow up at her.

Just then, she was saved as Leonard came out of the apartment. "Hey, Sheldon, I was thinking. Instead of us fighting over it-" Leonard was cut off as Sheldon turned and glared at him.

"You don't speak to me." Sheldon said as he stormed into the apartment and closed the door.

Leonard just looked at the door in confusion before turning to look at Penny, who simply shrugged and walked over to hers.

[I may have made things worse between Leonard and Sheldon.] She texted Naruto since he was doing something, or possibly someone at the moment.

[What happened?] He replied and she sighed and typed her response.

[I mentioned to Sheldon that Leonard had said he got lucky with his hunch on the experiment.] Penny replied.

[Ah, well don't worry. I'll talk Sheldon down if it comes to it. he knows it was a bit lucky; he just hates for someone to point it out or call it luck rather than intuition/natural skill taking affect even if his mind didn't know for sure it would work.] Naruto answered making Penny sigh in relief.

[Thanks, what are you doing anyway?] She asked and Naruto was silent a moment.

["Relaxing" in one of the more fun ways to do so.] He answered and she sent an eyebrow raised emoji.

His response made her blush a bit as it was a photo of a blonde girl kneeling in front of him with her tits out and sucking his dick.

[That answer your question?] He asked and she sent a tongue emoji back while still looking at the picture.

She hadn't mentioned it to him, but she hadn't stopped thinking about their shared fun with Christy and was kind of hoping to do something like that again.

She wasn't sure she was bisexual, but she also couldn't say she didn't REALLY enjoy dominating and using Christy like that.

[Who's she?] Penny asked curiously.

[Summer, she's an escort that I kind of snatched from Howard at one point, she talked me into being a client for her service. So, I have access to about a dozen or so beautiful girls that are down for nearly anything, no strings.] Naruto replied as Penny just looked at the picture.

[Well, have fun.] She replied before she snapped a pic of her baring her tits at the camera, [Just don't forget about me.] She added with the pic.

[Never. I'll pick you up about 4 to go to the conference. We'll get dinner afterwards.] Was Naruto's reply making her smile a bit before she sent a kiss emoji and plopped on her couch, deciding to relax a bit before she'd shower and then get dressed for the conference.

She'd need the right balance of natural and sexual since she didn't want to sit in a room with some science types while looking like a hooker or something.

At the same time, she wanted to look nice for dinner with Naruto and entice some time back at one of their apartments.

Maybe she could bring a larger bag and just bring a dress, shoes, and some other things to change into after the conference.

That seemed like a viable option, though now she'd have to text Naruto and ask if it was just them for dinner or if the guys would be coming too.

She had no intention of dressing slutty with Howard around, the Halloween party being the exception.

That was fun and it helped get Naruto's attention firmly on her.

Maybe next year she'd find a different kind of slutty costume, she could always give Naruto a private party.

Ah well, for now she'd relax and chill and then worry about that stuff later.

LATER

Penny looked around the rather nice hotel that was being used to hold the conference as they walked to where Leonard was giving the presentation.

"Name tag over here, and please for the love of God burn or trash that suit as soon as you can. I will take you shopping for clothes, I'll even fucking pay, just fucking get rid of that." Naruto said as he had Leonard's nametag on the left instead of the right and Leonard rolled his eyes at the constant putting down of his suit.

"Hey, I just checked and there's about 20-26 people in there not counting the presenter." Howard said and Leonard dropped his jaw in shock.

"Are you kidding?" Leonard asked in surprise.

"Uh.. is that good or bad?" Penny asked in confusion since it seemed bad but Leonard was excited.

"For a non-Nobel or globally recognized presenter, 25 for a crowd is like having Woodstock." Naruto explained making her nod.

"Wow, people must be interested in this." Penny said as Naruto nodded but leaned into her ear.

"It's partly the research and partly their names. Sheldon is decently known in the science community while Leonard is more that his siblings and parents are very well known. Getting a chance to observe or rub elbows with them can help a few people. It's basically part science part networking." Naruto explained quietly making Penny nod in understanding.

"Gotta make those business connections somewhere." Penny commented making Naruto smirk as they looked at Leonard

"I wasn't expecting such a crowd, I'm a little nervous." Leonard said as he was moving around a bit.

"Hey, it's okay, just open with a joke, you'll be fine." Howard said as Naruto shrugged and nodded while Leonard looked thoughtful.

"Try to keep it light and not an overly long one." Naruto commented since if he was nervous he'd stammer and stammer and they'd be there an hour before the joke was done.

"A joke. Okay. How about this, um, okay, uh there's this farmer, and he has these chickens, but they won't lay any eggs. So, he calls a physicist to help. The physicist then does some calculations, and he says, um, I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum." Leonard said getting laughs from Raj and Howard as Naruto chuckled a bit. "Right?" Leonard said in excitement.

"When learning physics, to make things easier and clearer, objects are usually spheres or squares in a vacuum, making it much easier to calculate. The physicist in the joke saying that his solution "only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum", is him saying that his solution won't work. In other words, the physicist is saying you're shit out of luck with my help." Naruto whispered to Penny making her giggle a bit.

"Okay, it's time to go to work. Let's roll." Howard said as they opened the door, "Hey, nice suit, by the way." Howard complimented as Leonard grinned.

"Thanks! It's a classic, right?" Leonard said excitedly while Penny, Raj, and Naruto just shook their heads.

"I am really glad that I came with you." Penny said making Naruto smirk before they entered and sat down in the front row.

Penny had looked confused on why, even if she was supporting Leonard, but Naruto just winked at her, letting her know that there was some reason for it beyond just giving Leonard support.

"Good afternoon everyone, today presenting his contribution of work on the paper 'Paradoxical Moment-of-Inertia Changes Due to Putative Super-Solids' is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter." The presenter spoke as Leonard came up to polite applause.

"Thank you, thank you." Leonard started off before he opened with his joke, which got laughter from everyone in the room, before continuing the presentation.

"So, in conclusion, the data show that at temperatures approaching absolute zero, the moment of inertia changes, and the solid becomes a super-solid, which clearly appears to be a previously unknown state of matter." Leonard finished a bit later, getting applause as Penny was only staying awake due to Naruto explaining things in more common English to her, plus she didn't want to be rude nor give Howard the chance to pull something.

"Thank you, are there any questions?" Leonard asked wanting to talk a bit.

"Yeah, what the hell was that?" A voice came from the back that Leonard, Howard, Raj, Penny, and Naruto knew fully well and Naruto quickly pulled some snacks out of his pocket and handed them to Raj, Howard, and Penny as he sat back and waited to enjoy the show.

"Are there any other questions?" Leonard asked hoping to just ignore that.

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper here, I am the lead author and the one who came up with this theory and did the calculations and research." Sheldon said getting a little bit of clapping since the majority there didn't give a shit, they just wanted to hear the research and execution and maybe make some connections.

"Thank you. And you, sir, you have completely skipped over the part where I was walking through the park, and I saw these children on a merry-go-round, which started me thinking about the moment of inertia in gases like helium at temperatures approaching absolute zero." Sheldon said as he approached the front and Leonard just looked at him.

"I didn't skip it; it's just an anecdote. It's not science. Besides, SOMEONE couldn't stop whining that I couldn't present any part of the paper that wasn't my work so I couldn't tell that story even if I wanted to. I did my part and focused on the experiment and findings only mentioning parts that were correlated to the experiment." Leonard said and Sheldon nodded.

"While a fair point, calling that an anecdote is rather rude. Was the apple falling on Newton's head just an anecdote?" Sheldon asked and Leonard sighed.

"You are not Isaac Newton." Leonard said and Naruto nodded

"Plus, to be fair, that's the story for what happened with Newton, it's never been completely confirmed if that happened or not." Naruto commented idly as he chewed on some candy.

"Another fair point, and it is true that I am not Newton, gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple." Sheldon said making Naruto snort.

"You cannot possibly be that arrogant." Leonard groaned in exasperation.

"You continue to underestimate me, my good man." Sheldon said taking it more as a challenge or compliment than an insult.

"To be fair, Sheldon doesn't actually believe that, given the factors of that time, he's mostly doing this just to piss off and annoy Leonard for being rude and not giving proper respect." Naruto commented quietly making Penny and Howard nod before Howard told Raj, who snorted a bit.

"Look, if you weren't happy with my presentation then maybe you should have given it with me instead of sneaking in and then complaining about it!" Leonard shouted in annoyance and Raj and Howard grinned now seeing where this was going to go and why Naruto brought snacks.

They just sat back and got ready for the fireworks.

Sheldon sighed in annoyance and exasperation, "As I have explained repeatedly, unlike you, I don't need validation from lesser minds. No offence. And pandering for attention and recognition is beneath real scientists, especially when no one is going to care about this in a year!" Sheldon retorted making Leonard groan.

"Really, so why did you come?" Leonard demanded and Sheldon scoffed.

"Because I knew you'd screw this up and you did!" Sheldon shouted back and Leonard looked incredulous at him.

"I didn't screw it up! Everything went fine!" Leonard defended as Sheldon scoffed again.

"Oh, please. I admit that spherical chicken joke, that was hilarious." Sheldon said while giggling as Leonard nodded his thanks, "But it was straight downhill from there with no hope of recovery." He added bluntly.

"Okay! That's it! I've had enough of your condescension. Maybe I didn't go to college when I was eleven like you, maybe I got my doctorate at 24 instead of 16, but you are not the only person who is smarter than everyone else in this room!" Leonard exclaimed before Sheldon motioned to the crowd making Leonard groan, "No offense!" He said before turning back to Sheldon. "And I am clearly not the only person who is tormented by insecurity and has an ego in need of constant validation!" He added as he looked at Sheldon in annoyance.

"So, you admit that you're an egotist?" Sheldon demanded and Leonard sighed.

"Yes!" He shouted before turning to the audience, "Hi! My name is Dr Leonard Hofstadter, and I could never please my parents or really anyone else that had my respect or affection growing up, so I need to get all my self-esteem validation from strangers like you. But HE'S worse." Leonard said before pointing at Sheldon, who looked offended.

"Okay! That is it!" Sheldon shouted before he put his fingers on his temples like Leonard had shown Penny earlier and stared at Leonard.

"You cannot blow up my head with your mind!" Leonard said in exasperation.

"Then I'll settle for an aneurysm." Sheldon said undeterred and annoying Leonard even more.

"Stop it!" Leonard said as he smacked Sheldon's hands away and made him stand up straight in shock.

"You hit me! You saw him, he hit me." Sheldon said while turning to look at the crowd.

"You were trying to blow up my head." Leonard said defensively as he crossed his arms.

"So, it was working!" Sheldon said victoriously.

"It wasn't... it was not... you are a nutcase!" Leonard stammered before shouting as Sheldon glared at him.

"Oh, we'll see about that!" Sheldon said as he put his fingers back on his temples. "Heads up, you people in the front row, this is a splash zone." Sheldon shouted as he kept trying to blow up Leonard's head as Naruto and the others were just snacking away.

"Stop, stop it, quit it!" Leonard said as he kept smacking Sheldon's hands away before it turning into a fight, though it was more like two little kids trying to fight than a real fight.

"Is this usually how these physics things go?" Penny asked as she ate some candy and watched as Leonard and Sheldon were rolling on the floor and kind of making a sad attempt at beating up the other.

"A lot more often than you'd think." Howard said as he had his phone out recording the whole thing to post online later.

"Vulcan nerve pinch!" Leonard shouted as he went for Sheldon's neck.

"No pinching! No Pinching!" Sheldon shrieked as he was struggling against Leonard while everyone else just sat there, though someone would go get security at some point to break it up when it got boring.

LATER

Leonard was on the couch at the apartment with an ice pack against his head from where Sheldon had managed to roll them and smack Leonard's head into the floor.

He then looked up as Sheldon entered and put his keys in the bowl by the door. "You could have offered me a ride home." Sheldon said in annoyance and Leonard glared at him.

"You're lucky I didn't run you over." Leonard said in equal if not greater annoyance since he was VERY tempted to do that.

"I really don't understand what you're so unhappy about, you begged me to come, I came, and now you're upset that I did. There's just no pleasing you." Sheldon said in exasperation as Leonard looked at him.

"No more than you! You complained that I couldn't present your work, so I didn't present it, I presented MY work and you still came and complained about how I presented it! I'm sorry my ego isn't as sturdy as yours is that I can just brush off a chance to show off to people, but I have the right to share and talk about my work and contributions to science no matter what anyone feels about it!" Leonard shouted as Sheldon looked at him.

"I suppose that's fair." Sheldon said as he went to the fridge and got a drink.

"I'm sorry, what?!" Leonard said in shock.

"I said that was fair. You're right in that you should be able to brag about your work regardless of the setting. The main reason I poked at it was mainly because you were rather rude and condescending about it when it is in fact my work that you were able to prove. I am fine with giving due credit, but I will not let someone latch onto my achievements like a leach if they did not contribute to it. You did in fact design the experiment to prove my research, but you did not contribute to the research itself and that was why I wouldn't let you talk on it." Sheldon said as Leonard just stared at him in shock, mostly that Sheldon actually agreed with him.

"Oh! And… I'm sorry for repeatedly trying to make your head explode, that was uncalled for and a bit petty." Sheldon said as Leonard looked at him.

However, before he could respond, the door opened and Howard and Raj came in.

"Wait til you see this." Howard said as he was smirking in amusement.

"Someone got the entire fight on video and posted it on YouTube!" Raj revealed as Howard sat down and pulled up the video.

"What?!" Leonard asked in shock as he came over.

"Who would do that?" Sheldon asked as he came over as well.

"That would be me. Oooh! It's a featured video!" Howard said with pride and amusement.

He then hit play before either of them could say anything.

"Oh man… does this suit really look THAT bad?" Leonard asked in disappointment, now seeing why Penny was against the suit.

"Forget your suit. Look at me! With my arms waving, I look like a flamingo on Ritalin." Sheldon said in annoyance.

"By the way, where did Naruto and Penny go?" Raj asked, already having watched the video about a dozen times in the past few hours.

"They went to dinner afterwards, I'd assume that they're both back in one of their apartments having coitus right now." Sheldon said as he was still watching the video.

"Can't say I blame him, if I had Penny like he does, I'd be in bed with her and in her every night till my hips gave out." Howard said casually making the three shake their heads at him.

"You're hopeless, you know that?" Leonard commented and Howard shrugged.

"Yet I still get luckier than you." Howard said in a smug tone while Leonard bit back on retorting that he had been hooking up with a pair of twins for single and threesomes since Halloween.

Naruto had really hook him up that time and it was still paying off.

"I also have less restraining orders." Leonard quipped making Howard glare a bit.

"While this is entertaining and enlightening, I'm going to make a sandwich then go to bed." Sheldon said as he went to the kitchen.

"I'm going to get rid of this suit, maybe take Naruto up on that off of expanding my wardrobe." Leonard said as he walked away while undoing the jacket.

He was also stuck on the fact Sheldon had agreed with him and even apologized.

Naruto definitely had an influence on him.

Hopefully, it would continue to be a good one.

DONE!

Next time, Naruto shows them how to deal with a sick Sheldon while glossing over the show/lie/Sheldon's "Cousin" episode.

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