As soon as Bucky stepped off the plane at JFK a feeling of dread settled over him. The city used to bring him so much joy. He had thought of little else while he was in Germany. All he wanted to do was go home. Now the city was cold and empty. Surrounded by millions of people and he was utterly alone. It was late when he got back, a little after midnight. The cold rainy streets whooshing under the taxi tires that brought him back to his cold dark apartment. He tossed some money to the driver before trekking up the stairs to the dimly lit landing. He slung his duffle bag onto the floor next to the door after entering. The sad looking pillow and blanket laying on the floor sending a shiver down his spine. His phone buzzed, breaking him out of his stupor as he shut the door. He pulled it out of his pocket, the bright screen illuminating the living room.

Charlie 12:27am

You can get pizza 24 hours a day in NYC?

Bucky laughed. The text was what he needed.

Me 12:28am

There's nothing like a $1 slice at 3am

Charlie 12:29am

Alright now New York is on my bucket list

Me 12:29am

I know a good tour guide

Charlie 12:32am

Only if he's 107

Bucky laughed again. In the time they had been texting he'd removed his clothes and for the first time in a while he laid in bed.

3 MONTHS LATER

3 months had passed since Bucky left. They had been texting and calling almost constantly, their relationship sitting stagnant between friends and flirty jokes. Though there was little they could do over the phone. In the meantime Charlie's life had changed. Her headaches became almost weekly, a detail she'd not mentioned to the super soldier. She'd black out before bed and wake up the next morning with more bruises or cuts with no explanation of how they got there. Louisa would simply brush it off saying she fell and it was just a migraine. She'd even visited several doctors with no luck. MRIs and CATSCANs showed no issues in her brain. They simply wrote her a prescription and sent her on her way. Last nights fall had been particularly violent, the bruise forming on her right eye was gnarly. She sat at the kitchen island nursing the aftermath of another headache while Louisa poured her some tea, a knock startling both the women.

"I've got it Louisa," Charlie said, getting up and making her way to the front door. She took a breath before opening it.

"Sam?" she asked, surprised. The shock on Sam's face was immediately evident.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"I fell."

"You fell? I need better than that." he said, pushing his way inside and turning to her crossing his arms.

"Look it's no big deal I just- I've been getting these migraines is all. I blacked out and fell." Charlie explained.

"Christ, have you been to a doctor? Is this why you've been away from after school so much?"

"Yeah and they can't find anything. They're just headaches." she quipped.

"Does Bucky know?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Why would I tell Bucky?" she was now crossing her arms.

"Aren't you two like best friends?"

"Look he doesn't need to know. He'll just do that worried thing with his voice and lecture me." she said.

"Yeah he would do that." Sam said, tapping his chin. "Look, he worries about you. As much as you'd both love to ignore it, I know you like each other."

"Not much to do about it when he lives damn near cross country." she said.

"Ah ha! So you do like him!" Sam shouted as he followed her to the kitchen. She sat back down at her chair gripping the tea cup.

"Sam my brain is far too fried to have this conversation right now," she said, rubbing her temples. He leaned on the island next to her. "Can I ask politely why you are here?"

"I thought I'd extend the invitation to ours for Thanksgiving. I'm down from D.C. until after Christmas so we're gonna do the holidays big this year. We all want you there." he said.

"That's very sweet of you. I wouldn't want to impose."

"Stop with the impose bullshit, you know you're family." he said. She gave him a soft smile.

"Fine, I'll be there. But I get to make the stuffing." she said.

"Deal! Now rest up! Thanksgivings in 3 days and I want that bruise gone." he said standing up and back towards the door.

"Is it that bad?" she asked after him.

"It's disgusting!" he shouted back before closing the front door behind him. He got in his truck and began his drive down the long driveway. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket selecting the contact before resting the phone on the dash.

"Hello?"

"Bucky it's Sam."

"Yeah I got that I only have 4 contacts."

"Listen man, we gotta talk."

"About my contacts? I don't have time for this. I'm in an airport in Cairo."

"No Buc- Listen I just saw Charlie. Somethings going on."

"What do you mean?"

"Did she tell you she's been having migraines?"

"Yeah but she said she'd go to the doctor if they got worse. That was before I left."

"Well they've gotten worse. She's got a bruise the size of a baseball on her face. I think you should come here for Thanksgiving, knock some sense into her or see if you can get her to tell you what's going on."

"I'll be on the next flight."

"Why didn't you tell me you were in Cai-"

Bucky hung up. The immense sense of dread made his breath hitch. She had never let on that she was still getting sick in their texts or calls. He immediately got up and found a desk to change his flight. He'd be in Louisiana in less than 24 hours, and he knew exactly where he'd be going first…

Charlie had been in bed for hours. The rain made her exhaustion even worse than it had already been. It was school break over Thanksgiving, thank god, so she hoped some proper rest and relaxation would do her good. She rolled to look at the clock. 6pm. She needed to eat something. She crawled out of bed and padded down to the kitchen to grab a snack. She'd sent Louisa home for her own family's holiday, and though she hated to admit it she could really use someone to make her a grilled cheese right now. As if God's divine intervention hadn't startled her, it did now. A knock sounded at the door. With a groan she padded over to the door, realizing her pajamas were not exactly guest friendly. She grabbed the house coat off the rack by the door and swung it on before opening the door. An extremely exhausted looking man greeted her eyes. His beard had slightly grown out but he was just as handsome the last time she had seen him.

"Bucky? What are you doing here?"

"Usually when you open the door to greet someone you extend a friendly 'Hello'" he laughed.

"I uh- yeah my god hi. I'm just surprised. Please come in." she said, wrapping the open housecoat around her a little tighter. He moved inside, his duffle bag in his hands.

"You can put your stuff there," she said, gesturing to a chair before turning back to the kitchen and walking that way.

"I can probably guess why you're here." she said, turning on the stovetop. The gas clicked for a moment before the flame erupted.

"Sam called me. Sit." he instructed, fully aware of what she was doing and taking over. He watched her silently as she pulled out a chair and began assembling the pieces for the grilled cheese.

"I'm fine, Bucky." she said, turning her glass of water.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you aren't responsible for my well being. It's not another issue to burden you with." she said.

"You aren't a burden. Believe it or not I care about my friends-" he said, flipping the sandwich.

"I promised I'd see a doctor and I have. They can't find anything, it's just stress." she said.

"So what are you going to do? Clearly these are causing you more harm than you'd like to let on." he said gesturing to her healing bruise before plating the sandwich, cutting off the stove, and sliding the plate to her.

"It's a holiday vacation. I'm gonna get some rest, enjoy Thanksgiving and hopefully by next week I'll be a new person."

"Where's Louisa? Surely she could've made you this?" he said pointing to the sandwich she was basically inhaling.

"I sent her home for the holiday. I can take care of myself."

"Oh Jesus Christ Charlie. You're blacking out and you thought it would be a good idea to be alone?" he said, rubbing his hands over his face. "What if you fell on the stairs or in the shower?"

"Buck-"

"No. No excuses. I'm going to stay here instead of Sam's. You need help and I'm offering it. Take it." he interrupted. The idea of the super soldier caring enough to make sure she wasn't alone was flattering; though a bit annoying. She was an adult, she didn't need him to make her grilled cheeses and coddle her. But still, she did like the idea of spending more time with him. She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

"Fine. But you're not my mother. Don't try to baby me."

"Babying people isn't really my forte," he chuckled.

"So what is?" she smirked.

"I've been told I'm sneaky."

"Well okay, sneaky. I need to go to the store tomorrow to get stuff for thanksgiving. You're welcome to join me to covertly carry my bags." she laughed.

"Sounds like a plan doll."

They spent the rest of the night watching tv after she determined it was criminal for him to not have seen a single episode of FRIENDS. Sometime around midnight she decided to crash for the night, showing him to one of the guest rooms before retreating into her own and crawling into bed. As she drifted away she wondered if he'd actually sleep in bed or next to it on the floor…

The next morning she awoke well rested. Her migraines had held off since her last bad episode and she was starting to feel more like herself. Rolling over she looked at the clock, 9am. The latest she'd slept in weeks. She stretched as she got up and threw on a pair of leggings and a long sleeve before heading down the stairs. The house was empty and silent and for a fleeting moment she wondered if Bucky had changed his mind and left. That was until she spotted him at the barn from the kitchen window. A smile played at her lips as she made them each a cup of coffee and headed out to meet him. As she entered the barn she watched him, he was mucking Diablos stall the house poking at his pockets as he shoveled. The horse could have chosen to be outside but he opted to bother the man instead.

"Bud I don't have any snacks," Bucky said, patting the horse's neck.

"Dire mistake, he'll remember that," she said, approaching the two. Bucky's face lit up at her arrival before exiting the stall and shutting the door behind him.

"Good morning, you feeling better?"

"Loads," she said, handing him a mug. "My last headache was 4 days ago when I had the bad fall. Maybe it knocked some sense into me."

"If that wasn't horribly concerning I'd laugh," he said with a straight face.

"I cope with humor," she said, shrugging and taking a sip of her coffee. "Why are you cleaning stalls?"

"I like tasks."

"Well I need to head to the store to get the stuff for Thanksgiving if you're still interested."

"Of course, let me just clean up and we can go." he said, heading back inside. Charlie looked to Diablo and smiled at the horse watching after Bucky.

"Yeah boy, me too…"

A little while later they were walking the isles of the store, Bucky pushing the cart as he followed her like a lost puppy. Grocery shopping wasn't exactly something he'd ever enjoyed, but watching her read boxes and greet people as they passed was something he could do all day.

"Ok butter next, can you check the list and make sure we have everything?" she asked, leading him to the next aisle.

"Sounds good to me doll." he said, pushing the cart after her. They turned down the aisle, one side full of refrigerated items and the other side the is frozens like ice cream and popsicles. The store is quiet this time of day even though Thanksgiving was the next day-just the hum of fridges and distant cart wheels filling the aisle with you.

"Okay stuffing mix-check. Milk-check. Butter were getting…did you say you wanted something for later?" he said but received no answer. He glanced back-and saw her standing in front of the freezer doors, completely still. Her fingers hovered just above the glass, which was fogged slightly, a thin rim of frost crusting the edges. Her eyes locked on it.

"Hey you good?" he asked, but she didn't respond. A long beat passed before she quietly whispered.

"...Frost."

Bucky stepped closer to her cautiously.

"What did you say?"

She blinked like she had just surfaced from underwater after a deep dive. Her hand dropping to her side before shaking her head.

"Nothing. I- yeah I wanted to get stuff for spaghetti later." she said.

"Are you okay?" he asked. She offered a small shrug and a chuckle.

"I guess I spaced out. The freezer air must have hit me weird." she said. He didn't say anything in response, rather looked at her. Not suspicious but now…alert. She grabbed a frozen roll of garlic bread from the doors in front of her before grabbing butter from the other side of the aisle and putting them both in the cart. His eyes gaze after her with the slightest hint of recognition of something but his finger isn't able to place. He followed after her as she continued to grab ingredients off various shelves. His discomfort with her earlier actions fading but stay in the back of his mind as they checkout and she begins to become her normal self again. They loaded the bags into the back of her car before heading back to the house.

"Remind me to never shop when I give Louisa time off again." she joked as Bucky dropped the bags on the counter.

"You say that like you weren't the one who needed four kinds of cheese."

"I decided to make Mac n Cheese too. It's called flavor layering, Barnes. Look it up." she quipped, grinning. Bucky smirked as he started unpacking. Though it was a kitchen he was unfamiliar with he moved with the same deliberate precision he always does. His movements like he's still trying to remember how to just be in someone's home without scanning for exits. She pulled out a half crushed box of crackers holding it up for the man to see.

"This one fought for it's life." she joked.

"Moment of silence," he answered. They both snorted at that before a moment passed-quiet, easy. Charlie glanced at the clock.

"It's early. Too early to cook and I want to make the dishes fresh in the morning for tomorrow. You wanna…play something?" she asked.

"Play something?" he raised an eyebrow at the suggestion.

"Yeah, like a game. Come on, I have a bunch. Board games, cards…unless you're afraid I'll destroy you." she squinted.

"I fought Iron Man in a HYDRA base with one arm. I think I can handle Scrabble." he said flatly.

She faked a gasp, clutching her chest.

"Big words for someone who probably still spells 'potato' with and 'e.'"

"I've killed for less." he deadpans at her. Minutes later they are sitting cross legged on the floor of the living room, having pushed the old coffee table out of the way. A deck of cards sitting in a pile between the two.

"Okay let's make it interesting. One question per round. Lose the hand you have to answer. You in?" she asks.

"This feels like a trap."

"It is. But it's a fun one." she said, reaching forward taking the deck before shuffling like a pro before dealing. She won the first round quickly.

"What's your guilty pleasure song?" she asks. He's groaning already.

"'Dancing Queen.' And if you tell Sam, I'll deny it to my grave."

She busted out laughing at that.

"Oh my god that's perfect." she said, starting the next round. They stayed like this for a while, the questions innocent and time passing quickly. Though underneath, there was a burn. It was unmistakable to Bucky but he wondered if she felt the same burn that he did. It was unexpected but so welcome to him. It was nice to feel something. Hand after hand they play but she won again and again.

"I'm just saying, there's no way you beat me three times in a row without cheating." he quipped.

"You think I've got Hydra-level card counting skills now?" she giggled. He made a face at that, half-wince, half-smirk.

"Too soon." she rolls her eyes and tosses down her next card. It's higher. Again. She lets out a little wiggle and laugh.

"Question time!"

"Of course it is."

She leaned forward a bit as if she was about to tell him a secret.

"What's the most scandalous thing you've ever done?"

He gave her a look somewhere between amused and unimpressed.

"You're talking to a man who's been a brainwashed assassin for seventy years."

"Okay, fine-pre-Hydra. Or like…bedroom scandal." she smirked.

He raised an eyebrow at her another time for that day, slow and dangerous.

"That's a very different game." But she didn't back down at his response. Her smiled instead turned coy.

"Just answer the question Barnes."

A beat passed. His eyes lingered on her lips before he leaned in slightly. Her breath caught in her throat. They had been close, but not this close before.

"I once got caught making out in an alley behind a jazz club. In 1941." he answered. She blinked-surprised and intrigued.

"Scandalous and vintage. Impressive." she said, dealing again. This time he won. A darkness floods his eyes before he leans and asks.

"Favorite place to be kissed." Her smile falters just slightly-not from discomfort, but from the sudden edge in his voice. She takes a deep breath and leans forward again to challenge his closeness.

"Neck. Always the neck." she purrs and he swears he almost regrets asking. Almost. The thought of his mouth on her neck passes his thoughts and he barely catches the growl that rises in his chest. She's testing him. A silence builds between the two. His gaze drops to her throat for just a second too long before she clears it and looks away, a pink tint rising to her cheeks. She pushes up from the floor.

"Okay. Dinner. Before you get any more ideas." she said as she walked to the kitchen. His gaze following her his voice low.

"Too late." He almost punches himself right here for being so forward. Charlie pretended not to hear it, but she did.

A while later the kitchen was alive with the smell of garlic, tomatoes, and herbs. A pot of spaghetti noodles boiled furiously on the stove, and she stood in front of the sauce, stirring it like it was sacred.

"Okay," she said, pointing the wooden spoon at Bucky. "You're on noodle duty. Timer's set. Don't burn yourself."

He leaned against the counter, arms folded, an amused gleam in his eyes.

"Don't even think about it." she said.

"What?" he asked defensively.

"Don't tell me about some crazy thing you did to make it seem like you can handle it. I'm being nice, I can't help it. Pasta doesn't care. It's ruthless."

He smirked but made his way to the sink like he was preparing for combat. When the timer beeped, he strained the noodles with exaggerated caution, flinching slightly as the steam rushed up.

"Told you," she said, lips curling. "Ruthless."

Bucky chuckled. "Alright, fine. Pasta's more dangerous than Hydra."

"I knew you were gonna do it!" she said, throwing her arms up victoriously as he threw his head back in a laugh. They moved around each other with easy, unspoken rhythm-plating food and pouring wine. Dinner was eaten on the couch with a half-watched movie playing in the background. Most of the conversation was laughter, teasing jabs, and a few moments that lingered a little longer than they should have.

Eventually, the warmth of the food and wine settled in, and quiet began to bloom between them. The movie ended but the dishes could wait. They parted ways for the night. A long hot shower soothing her body and her mind before she slipped on pajamas and crawled into bed. She hadn't realized she'd spent close to an hour and a half in the bathroom just relaxing until the glow of the clock made her realize the time. The house was eerily quiet.

She lay in bed beneath her comforter the memories of the longing moments from the day she'd spent with the man across the hall keeping her awake, and after a while she heard it- a low sound. Not a crash or a shout, but something raw. Choked.

She sat up slowly, listening.

Then again-a muffled gasp, followed by the unmistakable sound of movement. Sheets kicked. A quiet, panicked breath.

She was out of bed before she could talk herself out of it, feet padding across the floor. His door to the guest room was slightly cracked. She pushed it open gently.

Bucky was tangled in the sheets, his face twisted in a grimace, breath ragged. His metal hand clutching the blanket tight, like it was the only thing keeping him from slipping away.

"Bucky…"

His eyes snapped open, wild, unfocused. For a second she was sure he couldn't even see her. Then he blinked. Recognition bled back in.

"Sorry…" his voice was hoarse. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't." She stepped inside, voice soft. "You okay?"

He swallowed and looked away. "Just a dream. I- I'm fine."

But he wasn't. She could see it in the way his shoulders were still tense, almost as if he was bracing for a hit. She quietly crossed to his bathroom, filling a glass with water before returning to him in the darkness and handing it to him.

"Thank you…" he said, taking it happily and throwing it back before placing it on the nightstand.

"Do you want me to stay?" she asked.

He hesitated. Then, almost too quiet to hear:

"Would you…stay? Just for a bit."

She didn't answer-just moved to sit on the edge of the bed. He shifted, making room for her. She settled beside him, not too close, just enough to be there. A long silence stretched between them. His breath slowly began to even out. Then, unexpectedly:

"Can you sing?"

"What?"

"I don't know. I just…" He exhaled, frustrated with himself. "Your voice. The day you sang at the party it just- put me at ease. Like something I once knew." Bucky turned his head slightly toward her. The look in his eyes was stripped bare.

She hesitated for a moment before she nodded. Her voice was quiet at first, barely a whisper against the silence. A simple lullaby-something old, something comforting. She wasn't even sure why she chose it. The words came on instinct.

His eyes closed. His body relaxed, just slightly. She reached for his hand-the flesh one, and intertwined their fingers attempting to ground him. She ran her thumb over his knuckles as she sang. And there was something in the way he breathed-like whatever dark place his dreams had dragged him into, her voice had reached down and pulled him back.

She kept singing, softer and slower now, watching him melt into the sound. Eventually, he spoke, not opening his eyes.

"I think someone used to sing to me. When I was a kid. Before everything."

Her heart ached.

"Then let me be that again. Just for tonight."

She stayed until his breathing deepend, his brow smooth. And even when he fell asleep, she didn't leave.

Something told her he wasn't the only one who needed the quiet tonight.