Chapter Thirty-Six
Severus looked no more than nine in the memory. Small, sallow, stringy. He was watching two girls, the younger one with flaming red hair swinging higher and higher than her sister.
"Lily, don't do it!" shrieked the elder of the two.
But the girl had let go of the swing at the very height of its arc and flown into the air, quite literally flown, launched herself skywards with a great shout of laughter, and instead of crumpling on the playground asphalt, she soared, like a trapeze artist through the air, staying up far too long, landing far too lightly.
"Mummy told you not to!" Petunia stopped her swing by dragging the heels of her sandals on the ground, making a crunching, grinding sound, then leapt up, hands on hip. "Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"
"But I'm fine," said Lily, still giggling. "Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do."
Petunia glanced around. The playground was deserted apart from themselves and, though the girls did not know it, Severus. Lily had picked up a fallen flower from the bush behind which Severus lurked. Petunia advanced, evidently torn between curiosity and disapproval. Lily waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view, then held out her palm. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals, like some bizarre, many-lipped oyster.
"Stop it!" shrieked Petunia.
"It's not hurting you," said Lily, but she closed her hand on the blossom and threw it back to the ground.
"It's not right," said Petunia, but her eyes had followed the flower's flight to the ground and lingered upon it. "How do you do it?" she added, and there was definite longing in her voice.
"It's obvious, isn't it?" Severus could no longer contain himself but had jumped out from behind the bushes.
Petunia shrieked and ran backwards towards the swings, but Lily, though clearly startled, remained where she was. Severus seemed to regret his appearance. A dull flush of color mounted the sallow cheeks as he looked at Lily.
"What's obvious?" asked Lily.
Severus had an air of nervous excitement.
With a glance at the distant Petunia, now hovering beside the swings, he lowered his voice and said, "I know what you are."
"What do you mean?"
"You're … you're a witch," whispered Severus.
She looked affronted.
"That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"
She turned, nose in the air, and marched off towards her sister.
"No!" said Severus.
He was highly colored now, and Stella wondered why he did not take off the ridiculously large coat, unless it was because he did not want to reveal the smock beneath it. He flapped after the girls, looking ludicrously bat-like, like his older self. The sisters considered him, united in disapproval, both holding on to one of the swing poles as though it was the safe place in tag.
"You are," said Severus to Lily. "You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard."
Petunia's laugh was like cold water.
"Wizard!" she shrieked, her courage returned now that she had recovered from the shock of his unexpected appearance. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she told Lily, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation. "Why have you been spying on us?"
"Haven't been spying," said Severus, hot and uncomfortable and dirty-haired in the bright sunlight. "Wouldn't spy on you, anyway," he added spitefully, "you're a Muggle."
Though Petunia evidently did not understand the word, she could hardly mistake the tone.
"Lily, come on, we're leaving!" she said shrilly.
Lily obeyed her sister at once, glaring at Severus as she left. He stood watching them as they marched through the playground gate, and Stella, the only one left to observe him, recognized Severus's bitter disappointment, and understood that Severus had been planning this moment for a while, and that it had all gone wrong…
The scene dissolved, and before Stella knew it, reformed around her. She was now in a small thicket of trees. She could see a sunlit river glittering through their trunks. The shadows cast by the trees made a basin of cool, green shade. Two children sat facing each other, cross-legged on the ground. Severus had removed his coat now; his odd smock looked less peculiar in the half-light.
"… and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters."
"But I have done magic outside school!"
"We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven and they start training you, then you've got to go careful."
There was a little silence. Lily had picked up a fallen twig and twirled it in the air, and Stella knew that she was imagining sparks trailing from it. Then she dropped the twig, leaned in towards the boy, and said, "It is real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it?"
"It's real for us," said Severus. "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."
"Really?" whispered Lily.
"Definitely," said Severus, and even with his poorly cut hair and odd clothes, he struck an oddly impressive figure sprawled in front of her, brimful of confidence in his destiny.
"And will it really come by owl?" Lily whispered and Stella thought of Hermione, what her reactions must have been learning of magic for the first time.
"Normally," Severus nodded. "But you're Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents."
"Does it make a difference, being a Muggle-born?"
Severus hesitated, studying Lily for a moment before determination overtook his face.
"No. It doesn't make a difference."
"Good," said Lily, relaxing: it was clear that she had been worrying.
"You've got loads of magic," said Severus. "I saw that. All the time I was watching you…"
His voice trailed away; she was not listening but had stretched out on the leafy ground and was looking up at the canopy of leaves overhead. He just watched her and Stella wondered if he was worrying about how much magic he possessed.
"How are things at your house?" Lily asked.
A little crease appeared between his eyes.
"Fine," he said.
"They're not arguing anymore?"
"Oh, yes, they're arguing," said Severus, picking up a fistful of leaves and beginning to tear them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing. "But it won't be that long and I'll be gone."
"Doesn't your dad like magic?"
"He doesn't like anything, much."
"Severus?"
"Yeah?"
"Tell me about the Dementors again."
Stella knew a distraction when she saw it. She'd done it to Blaise, Theo, and Draco enough times and Harry even more, changing the subject to something they'd told her about in the past when something was eating at them.
"What d'you want to know about them for?"
"If I use magic outside school—"
"They wouldn't give you to the Dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too—"
Stella saw it then. Lily was a light and Severus was the dark. He was her shadow, as Blaise and Theo had claimed to be for Stella. Blaise had admitted to her once that her light was what drew the two of them to her, made them want to protect her in the house of snakes. Severus had seen the same light in Lily as a child and Stella once she'd arrived in his office for her first detention. She'd always thought that Severus protected her because of his memory of Regulus, but she reminded him of Lily.
"Tuney!" said Lily, surprise and welcome in her voice, but Severus jumped to his feet.
"Who's spying now?" he shouted. "What d'you want?"
Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught.
"What is that you're wearing, anyway?" Petunia pointed at Severus's chest. "You're mum's blouse?"
There was a crack: a branch over Petunia's head had fallen. Lily screamed: the branch caught Petunia on the shoulder and she staggered backwards and burst into tears.
"Tuney!"
But Petunia was running away. Lily rounded on Severus.
"Did you make that happen?"
"No," he looked both defiant and scared.
"You did!" she was backing away from him. "You did! You hurt her!
"No- no, I didn't!"
"It was an accident," Stella breathed, knowing they couldn't hear her but she knew what happened when emotions got the best of young witches and wizards, having seen it plenty growing up, surrounded by boughs of accidental magic from Ron, Fred, Percy, George, Ginny, and herself.
They were on the platform now and Lily was telling Petunia that she'd get Dumbledore to let her come to school with her and Petunia called her a freak, breaking Lily's heart. Lily defended Severus and Petunia called them both freaks.
The scene dissolved again. Severus was hurrying along the corridor of the Hogwarts Express as it clattered through the countryside. He had already changed into his school robes, had perhaps taken the first opportunity to take of his dreadful Muggle clothes.
At last he stopped, outside a compartment in which a group of rowdy boys were talking. Hunched in a corner seat beside the window was Lily, her face pressed against the window pane. Severus slid open the compartment door and sat down opposite Lily. She glanced at him and then looked back out of the window. She had been crying.
"I don't want to talk to you," she said in a constricted voice.
"Why not?"
"Tuney h – hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore."
"So what?"
She threw him a look of deep dislike.
"So she's my sister!"
"She's only a –"
He caught himself quickly; Lily, too busy trying to wipe her eyes without being noticed, did not hear him.
"But we're going!" he said, unable to suppress the exhilaration in his voice. "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"
She nodded, mopping her eyes, but in spite of herself, she half smiled.
"You'd better be in Slytherin," said Severus, encouraged that she had brightened a little.
"Slytherin?"
One of the boys sharing the compartment, who had shown no interest at all in Lily or Snape until that point, looked round at the word, and Stella, whose attention had been focused entirely on the two beside the window, saw James Potter: slight, black-haired like Severus, but with that indefinable air of having been well cared for, even adored, that Severus so conspicuously lacked.
"Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" James asked the boy lounging on the seats opposite him, and with a jolt, Stella realized that it was her father, Sirius; Young, handsome, whole… Stella fell to her knees.
Sirius did not smile.
"My whole family have been in Slytherin," he said.
"Blimey," said James, "and I thought you seemed all right!"
Sirius grinned.
"Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"
James lifted an invisible sword.
"Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart! Like my dad."
Severus made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.
"Got a problem with that?"
"No," said Severus, though his slight sneer said otherwise. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy –"
"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" interjected Sirius. James roared with laughter.
Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike.
"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."
"Oooooo …" James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice; James tried to trip Severus as he passed.
"See ya, Snivellus!" Sirius's voice called, as the compartment door slammed…
And the scene dissolved once more … Stella was standing right behind Severus as they faced the candlelit house tables, lined with rapt faces.
Then Professor McGonagall said, "Evans, Lily!"
Stella watched as Harry's mother walked forwards on trembling legs and sat down upon the rickety stool. Professor McGonagall dropped the Sorting Hat on to her head, and barely a second after it had touched the dark red hair the Hat cried, "Gryffindor!"
Stella heard Severus let out a tiny groan. Lily took off the Hat, handed it back to Professor McGonagall, then hurried towards the cheering Gryffindors, but as she went she glanced back at Severus, and there was a sad little smile on her face. Stella saw Sirius move up the bench to make room for her. She took one look at him, seemed to recognize him from the train, folded her arms and firmly turned her back on him. The roll call continued.
Stella watched as Remus was sorted, smiling softly as he sat beside Lily, trying to make himself seem smaller.
"McKinnon, Marlene!"
Stella turned quickly, staring at her mother with wide eyes. Marlene McKinnon had bright, blue eyes that shined mischievously. Her long, blond hair swayed as she walked. Stella looked towards her father, seeing his eyes locked on Marlene, eyes wide and mouth open in shock.
"Gryffindor!"
Stella watched as her mother moved to the Gryffindor table, sitting beside Sirius and giving him a kind smile. He swallowed thickly and smiled back. Remus had been wrong in his stories. Sirius had definitely liked Marlene far before fifth year.
At last, when only a dozen students remained to be sorted, Professor McGonagall called Severus. Stella walked with him to the stool, watched him place the Hat upon his head.
"Slytherin!" cried the Sorting Hat.
And Severus Snape moved off to the other side of the Hall, away from Lily, to where the Slytherins were cheering him, to where Lucius Malfoy, a prefect badge gleaming upon his chest, patted Severus on the back as he sat down beside him …
And the scene changed …
Lily and Severus were walking across the castle courtyard, evidently arguing. Stella hurried to catch up with them, to listen in. As she reached them, she realized how much taller they both were: a few years seemed to have passed since their Sorting.
"… thought we were supposed to be friends?" Severus was saying. "Best friends?"
"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"
Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face.
"That was nothing," said Severus. "It was a laugh, that's all –"
"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny –"
"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Severus.
His color rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment, or maybe it was the mention of his secret boyfriend.
"What's Potter got to do with anything?" said Lily.
"They sneak out at night. There's something weird going on with Lupin. Where does he keep going? He refused to tell me anything."
"He's ill," said Lily. "They say he's ill –"
"Every month at the full moon?" said Severus.
"I know your theory," said Lily, and she sounded cold. "Why are you so obsessed with them, anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"
"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."
The intensity of his gaze made her blush.
"They don't use Dark Magic, though." She dropped her voice. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there –"
Snape's whole face contorted and he spluttered, "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to – I won't let you –"
"Let me? Let me?" Lily's bright green eyes were slits.
Severus backtracked at once.
"I didn't mean – I just don't want to see you made a fool of – he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not … Everyone thinks … Big Quidditch hero –" Severus's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were travelling further and further up her forehead.
"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Severus. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."
Stella doubted that Severus had even heard her strictures on Mulciber and Avery. The moment she had insulted James Potter, his whole body had relaxed, and as they walked away there was a new spring in Severus's step … The scene dissolved.
"What's going on with you and Lupin?" Lily was smirking.
"I don't know what you mean," Severus shook his head.
"I saw you."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're shagging!"
"Can you shut it?" Severus looked alarmed.
"I thought you hated all of them," Lily whispered, the two hiding behind a stack of books in the library.
"He's… different."
"How long has it been going on?" Lily demanded.
"… Since second year."
"What? Tell me everything. I didn't even know you liked blokes."
"I've liked him since first year when we were study partners," Severus admitted. "I've been in love with him since second year… He admitted he had feelings for me at the same time and we've been together in secret ever since. He doesn't want his friends to find out and kick him aside. If that's what they'd do though, then they don't deserve him."
And the scene dissolved … Stella watched as Severus left from the Great Hall, after sitting his O.W.L. in Defense Against the Dark Arts, watched as he wandered away from the castle and strayed, inadvertently, close to the place beneath the beech tree where James, Sirius, Remus and Pettigrew sat together. James had hoisted Severus into the air and taunted him; Stella realizing this was the memory Harry had been caught in. She watched as Sirius and James made fun of Severus, Pettigrew laughed, egging them on, and Remus did nothing, watching as the boy he claimed to love was bullied by his best friends. Stella felt sick.
She watched, as Lily joined the group and went to Severus's defense. She heard Severus shout at her in his humiliation and his fury, the unforgivable word: "Mudblood."
The scene changed …
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not interested."
"I'm sorry!"
"Save your breath."
It was night-time. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower.
"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."
"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just –"
"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"
He opened his mouth but closed it without speaking.
"I can't pretend any more. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
"No – listen, I didn't mean –"
"– to call me Mudblood? But you call every one of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"
He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole…
Remus and Severus were standing in an abandoned classroom, both looking angry.
"You just let them toss me into the air," Severus was saying.
"What did you expect me to do?" Remus demanded.
"Oh, I don't know? Defend me to your friends for once?" Severus looked close to tears, hands shaking. "It's the least you could do since you didn't bother telling me about being a werewolf!"
"Lower your voice," Remus growled out, pushing Severus further from the door.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Severus demanded.
"Because I knew you would react poorly," Remus defended.
"I don't care about you being a werewolf."
"You don't?"
"I care about you letting your friends bully me all these years and not saying anything," Severus stated.
"They don't know—"
"And whose fault is that?!"
The two were breathing heavily, glaring at one another.
"I want you to tell them," Severus finally breathed out, voice soft, pleading.
"I don't think we should be together anymore," Remus sighed and Severus took a physical step back, shock on his face. "You're obsessed with the Dark Arts. Your friends are heading straight for You-Know-Who and you will, too."
"I hadn't been planning on it actually," Severus defended himself weakly.
"Let's face it, Snape, we never would have worked."
"Says who?"
"Says me! I mean, seriously, you're going dark. There's no stopping it. Your hatred will always outweigh your love, if that even is what you felt."
The classroom dissolved, and the scene took a little longer to reform: Stella seemed to fly through shifting shapes and colors until her surroundings solidified again and she stood on a hilltop, forlorn and cold in the darkness, the wind whistling through the branches of a few leafless trees. The adult Severus was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone … his fear infected Stella, too, even though she knew that she could not be harmed, and she looked over her shoulder, wondering what it was that Severus was waiting for –
Then a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air: Stella thought of lightning, but Severus had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand.
"Don't kill me!"
"That was not my intention."
Any sound of Dumbledore Apparating had been drowned by the sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Severus with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand.
"Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?"
"No – no message – I'm here on my own account!" Severus was wringing his hands: he looked a little mad, with his straggling, black hair flying around him. "I – I come with a warning – no, a request – please –"
Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Severus faced each other.
"What request could a Death Eater make of me?"
"The – the prophecy … the prediction … Trelawney …"
"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore. "How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"
"Everything – everything I heard!" said Snape. "That is why – it is for that reason – he thinks it means Lily Evans!"
"The prophecy did not refer to a woman," said Dumbledore. "It spoke of a boy born at the end of July –"
"You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down – kill them all –"
"If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"
"I have – I have asked him –"
"You disgust me," said Dumbledore, and Dumbledore disgusted Stella.
This was a child, a teenager, maybe a year or two older than her, on his knees and defenseless in front of him, begging for help. Severus seemed to shrink a little.
"You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"
Severus said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore.
"Hide them all, then," he croaked. "Keep her – them – safe. Please."
"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"
"In – in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Stella hated the old man more. "Anything."
The hilltop faded, and Stella stood in Dumbledore's office, and something was making a terrible sound, like a wounded animal. Severus was slumped forwards in a chair and Dumbledore was standing over him, looking grim. After a moment or two, Severus raised his face, and he looked like a man who had lived a hundred years of misery since leaving the wild hilltop.
"I thought … you were going … to keep her … safe …"
"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," said Dumbledore.
"Yeah, you," Stella scoffed.
"Rather like you, Severus."
"Still you," Stella was pissed but she remained in the memories, wanting to know why she was here, why she was seeing this.
"Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"
Severus's breathing was shallow.
"Her boy survives," said Dumbledore.
With a tiny jerk of the head, Severus seemed to flick off an irksome fly.
"Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?"
That manipulative—
"DON'T!" bellowed Severus. "Gone … Dead …"
"Is this remorse, Severus?"
"I wish … I wish I were dead …"
"And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly and Stella's hands were shaking, balled in fists. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."
Severus seemed to peer through a haze of pain, and Dumbledore's words appeared to take a long time to reach him.
"What – what do you mean?"
"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."
"He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone –"
"– the Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."
There was a long pause, and slowly Severus regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing.
At last he said, "Very well. Very well. But never – never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear … especially Potter's son … I want your word!"
"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Severus's ferocious, anguished face. "If you insist …"
The office dissolved but re-formed instantly. Severus was pacing up and down in front of Dumbledore.
"– mediocre, arrogant as his father, a determined rule-breaker, delighted to find himself famous, attention-seeking and impertinent –"
"You see what you expect to see, Severus," said Dumbledore, without raising his eyes from a copy of Transfiguration Today. "Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likeable and reasonably talented. Personally, I find him an engaging child." Dumbledore turned a page, and said, without looking up, "Keep an eye on Quirrell, won't you?"
A whirl of color, and now everything darkened, and Severus and Dumbledore stood a little apart in the Entrance Hall, while the last stragglers from the Yule Ball passed them on their way to bed, Stella and Harry included.
"Well?" murmured Dumbledore, watching Severus as he watched Stella and Harry.
"Karkaroff's Mark is becoming darker too. He is panicking, he fears retribution; you know how much help he gave the Ministry after the Dark Lord fell." Severus looked sideways at Dumbledore's crooked-nosed profile. "Karkaroff intends to flee if the Mark burns."
"Does he?" said Dumbledore softly, as Fleur Delacour and Roger Davies came giggling in from the grounds. "And are you tempted to join him?"
"No," said Severus, his black eyes on Fleur and Roger's retreating figures. "I am not such a coward."
"No," agreed Dumbledore. "You are a braver man by far than Igor Karkaroff. You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon… Besides, I figured you wouldn't leave your heir behind. Not when she is so close to Harry."
Dumbledore walked away, leaving Severus looking stricken …
And now Stella stood in the Headmaster's office yet again. It was night-time, and Dumbledore sagged sideways in the throne-like chair behind the desk, apparently semi-conscious. His right hand dangled over the side, blackened and burned. Severus was muttering incantations, pointing his wand at the wrist of the hand, while with his left hand he tipped a goblet full of thick golden potion down Dumbledore's throat.
After a moment or two, Dumbledore's eyelids fluttered and opened.
"Why," said Severus, without preamble, "why did you put on that ring? It carries a curse, surely you realized that. Why even touch it?"
Marvolo Gaunt's ring lay on the desk before Dumbledore. It was cracked; the sword of Gryffindor lay beside it. Dumbledore grimaced.
"I … was a fool. Sorely tempted …"
"Tempted by what?"
Dumbledore did not answer.
"It is a miracle you managed to return here!" Severus sounded furious. "That ring carried a curse of extraordinary power, to contain it is all we can hope for; I have trapped the curse in one hand for the time being –"
Dumbledore raised his blackened, useless hand, and examined it with the expression of one being shown an interesting curio.
"You have done very well, Severus. How long do you think I have?" Dumbledore's tone was conversational; he might have been asking for a weather forecast.
Severus hesitated, and then said, "I cannot tell. Maybe a year. There is no halting such a spell forever. It will spread, eventually, it is the sort of curse that strengthens over time."
Dumbledore smiled. The news that he had less than a year to live seemed a matter of little or no concern to him.
"I am fortunate, extremely fortunate, that I have you, Severus."
"If you had only summoned me a little earlier, I might have been able to do more, buy you more time!" said Severus furiously. He looked down at the broken ring and the sword. "Did you think that breaking the ring would break the curse?"
"Something like that … I was delirious, no doubt …" said Dumbledore. With an effort, he straightened himself in his chair. "Well, really, this makes matters much more straightforward."
Severus looked utterly perplexed. Dumbledore smiled.
"I refer to the plan Lord Voldemort is revolving around me. His plan to have the poor Malfoy boy murder me."
Severus sat down in the chair across the desk from Dumbledore. Stella could tell that he wanted to say more on the subject of Dumbledore's cursed hand, but the other held it up in polite refusal to discuss the matter further.
Scowling, Severus said, "The Dark Lord does not expect Draco to succeed. This is merely punishment for Lucius's recent failures. Slow torture for Draco's parents, while they watch him fail and pay the price."
"In short, the boy has had a death sentence pronounced upon him as surely as I have," said Dumbledore. "Now, I should have thought the natural successor to the job, once Draco fails, is yourself?"
There was a short pause.
"That, I think, is the Dark Lord's plan."
"Lord Voldemort foresees a moment in the near future when he will not need a spy at Hogwarts?"
"He believes the school will soon be in his grasp, yes."
"And if it does fall into his grasp," said Dumbledore, almost, it seemed, as an aside, "I have your word that you will do all in your power to protect the students of Hogwarts?"
Severus gave a stiff nod.
"Good. Now then. Your first priority will be to discover what Draco is up to. A frightened teenage boy is a danger to others as well as to himself. Offer him help and guidance, he ought to accept, he likes you –"
"– much less since his father has lost favor. Draco blames me, he thinks I have usurped Lucius's position."
"All the same, try. I am concerned less for myself than for accidental victims of whatever schemes might occur to the boy. Ultimately, of course, there is only one thing to be done if we are to save him from Lord Voldemort's wrath."
Severus raised his eyebrows and his tone was sardonic as he asked, "Are you intending to let him kill you?"
"Certainly not. You must kill me."
There was a long silence, broken only by an odd clicking noise. Fawkes the phoenix was gnawing a bit of cuttlebone.
"Would you like me to do it now?" asked Severus, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"
Stella couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her.
"Oh, not quite yet," said Dumbledore, smiling. "I daresay the moment will present itself in due course. Given what has happened tonight," he indicated his withered hand, "we can be sure that it will happen within a year."
"If you don't mind dying," said Severus roughly, "why not let Draco do it?"
"That boy's soul is not yet so damaged," said Dumbledore. "I would not have it ripped apart on my account."
'What about my Dad's soul?' Stella demanded, messing with her Prince ring.
"And my soul, Dumbledore? Mine?"
"You alone know whether it will harm your soul to help an old man avoid pain and humiliation," said Dumbledore. "I ask this one, great favor of you, Severus, because death is coming for me as surely as the Chudley Cannons will finish bottom of this year's league. I confess I should prefer a quick, painless exit to the protracted and messy affair it will be if, for instance, Greyback is involved – I hear Voldemort has recruited him? Or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it."
His tone was light but his blue eyes pierced Severus as they had frequently pierced Stella through his portrait over the past few months, as though the soul they discussed was visible to him. At last Severus gave another curt nod. Dumbledore seemed satisfied.
"Thank you, Severus …"
The office swirled and but remained, Severus pacing back and forth.
"She poisoned them. I know she did," Severus stated. "I don't know what to do."
"She is grieving. She needs to be reined in. I would not be surprised if she was the one to almost kill her classmates," Dumbledore's voice was hard as he spoke of Stella. "You will need to speak with her. Calm her. If you cannot do so, she will be expelled, wand snapped."
"I will handle my chi… My Slytherin," Severus stated.
Dumbledore's brows raised but he said nothing, just nodded.
The office disappeared, and now Severus and Dumbledore were strolling together in the deserted castle grounds by twilight.
"What are you doing with Potter, all these evenings you are closeted together?" Severus asked abruptly.
Dumbledore looked weary.
"Why? You aren't trying to give him more detentions, Severus? The boy will soon have spent more time in detention than out."
"He is his father over again –"
"In looks, perhaps, but his deepest nature is much more like his mother's. I spend time with Harry because I have things to discuss with him, information I must give him before it is too late."
"Information," repeated Severus. "You trust him … you do not trust me."
"It is not a question of trust. I have, as we both know, limited time. It is essential that I give the boy enough information for him to do what he needs to do."
"And why may I not have the same information?"
"I prefer not to put all of my secrets in one basket, particularly not a basket that spends so much time dangling on the arm of Lord Voldemort."
"Which I do on your orders!"
"And you do it extremely well. Do not think that I underestimate the constant danger in which you place yourself, Severus. To give Voldemort what appears to be valuable information while withholding the essentials is a job I would entrust to nobody but you."
"Yet you confide much more in a boy who is incapable of Occlumency, whose magic is mediocre and who has a direct connection into the Dark Lord's mind!"
"Voldemort fears that connection," said Dumbledore. "Not so long ago he had one, small taste of what truly sharing Harry's mind means to him. It was pain such as he has never experienced. He will not try to possess Harry again, I am sure of it. Not in that way."
"I don't understand."
"Lord Voldemort's soul, maimed as it is, cannot bear close contact with a soul like Harry's. Like a tongue on frozen steel, like flesh in flame –"
"Souls? We were talking of minds!"
"In the case of Harry and Lord Voldemort, to speak of one is to speak of the other."
Dumbledore glanced around to make sure that they were alone. They were close by the Forbidden Forest, now, but there was no sign of anyone near them.
"After you have killed me, Severus –"
"You refuse to tell me everything, yet you expect that small service of me!" snarled Severus, and real anger flared in the thin face now. "You take a great deal for granted, Dumbledore! Perhaps I have changed my mind!"
"You gave me your word, Severus. And while we are talking about services you owe me, I thought you agreed to keep a close eye on our young Slytherin friends?"
"Do not speak of her," Severus looked angry, mutinous.
Dumbledore sighed.
"Come to my office tonight, Severus, at eleven, and you shall not complain that I have no confidence in you …"
They were back in Dumbledore's office, the windows dark, and Fawkes sat silent as Severus sat quite still, as Dumbledore walked around him, talking.
"Harry must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could he have the strength to do what must be done?"
"But what must he do?"
"That is between Harry and me. Now, listen closely, Severus. There will come a time – after my death – do not argue, do not interrupt! There will come a time when Lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake."
"For Nagini?" Severus looked astonished.
"Precisely. If there comes a time when Lord Voldemort stops sending that snake forth to do his bidding, but keeps it safe beside him, under magical protection, then, I think, it will be safe to tell Harry."
"Tell him what?"
Dumbledore took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"Tell him that on the night Lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily cast her own life between them as a shield, the Killing Curse rebounded upon Lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort's soul was blasted apart from the whole and latched itself on to the only living soul left in that collapsing building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Harry, and it is that which gives him the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with Lord Voldemort's mind that he has never understood. And while that fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to, and protected by Harry, Lord Voldemort cannot die."
Stella seemed to be watching the two men from one end of a long tunnel, they were so far away from her, their voices echoing strangely in her ears.
"So the boy … the boy must die?" asked Severus, quite calmly.
"And Voldemort himself must do it, Severus. That is essential."
Another long silence.
Then Severus said, "I thought … all these years … that we were protecting him for her. For Lily."
"We have protected him because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him, to let him try his strength," said Dumbledore, his eyes still tight shut. "Meanwhile, the connection between them grows ever stronger, a parasitic growth: sometimes I have thought he suspects it himself. If I know him, he will have arranged matters so that when he does set out to meet his death, it will, truly, mean the end of Voldemort."
Dumbledore opened his eyes. Severus looked horrified.
"You have kept him alive so that he can die at the right moment?"
"Don't be shocked, Severus. How many men and women have you watched die?"
"Lately, only those whom I could not save," said Severus. He stood up. "You have used me."
"Meaning?"
"I have spied for you, and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Potter's son safe. Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter –"
"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"
"For him?" shouted Snape. "Expecto Patronum!"
From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: she landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
"After all this time?"
"Always," said Snape, "but not in the way you've always thought. She was a sister to me, my best friend when I had no one. She was my light. I will always love her, but someone else had my heart all these years."
"Who?" Dumbledore asked, confused.
"Remus Lupin."
And the scene shifted. Now, Stella saw Severus talking to the portrait of Dumbledore behind his desk.
"You will have to give Voldemort the correct date of Harry's departure from his aunt and uncle's," said Dumbledore. "Not to do so will raise suspicion, when Voldemort believes you so well-informed. However, you must plant the idea of decoys – that, I think, ought to ensure Harry's safety. Try Confunding Mundungus Fletcher. And Severus, if you are forced to take part in the chase, be sure to act your part convincingly … I am counting upon you to remain in Lord Voldemort's good books as long as possible, or Hogwarts will be left to the mercy of the Carrows …"
Now Severus was head to head with Mundungus in an unfamiliar tavern, Mundungus's face looking curiously blank, Severus frowning in concentration.
"You will suggest to the Order of the Phoenix," Severus murmured, "that they use decoys. Polyjuice Potion. Identical Potters. It is the only thing that might work. You will forget that I have suggested this. You will present it as your own idea. You understand?"
"I understand," murmured Mundungus, his eyes unfocused …
Now Stella was flying alongside Severus on a broomstick through a clear dark night: he was accompanied by other hooded Death Eaters, and ahead were Remus and a Harry who was really George … a Death Eater moved ahead of Severus and raised his wand, pointing it directly at Remus's back –
"Sectumsempra!" shouted Severus.
But the spell, intended for the Death Eater's wand hand missed and hit George instead –
Severus was flying, chasing a Harry that was Stella. Mad-Eye was hit and Harry-Stella screamed, diving after his body. Severus knew the sound though, eyes widening and looking a bit panicked. The other Death Eaters chased, Severus hanging back, wand drawn in case he needed to protect Stella.
"Help us, Snape!" a Death Eater shouted before Stella killed him, her features going back to normal but injuries littering her body.
Severus stared down at her, not seeing any life threatening injuries before flying off, dodging the hex she sent his way.
And next, Severus was kneeling in Sirius's old bedroom. Tears were dripping from the end of his hooked nose as he read the old letter from Lily. The second page carried only a few words:
'- could ever have been friends with Gellert Grindelwald. I think her mind's going, personally! Lots of love, Lily'
Severus took the page bearing Lily's signature, and her love, and tucked it inside his robes. Then he ripped in two the photograph he was also holding, so that he kept the part from which Lily laughed, throwing the portion showing James and Harry back on to the floor, under the chest of drawers.
Stella saw herself, Remus, Severus, and…
"Teddy," Stella's voice was broken.
"When Riddle came to interview for the Defense position, how long was he in the school for?" Stella asked him.
"Well, he walked from the front gates to my office and back, plus our meeting, which lasted roughly half an hour or so. An hour, perhaps?" Dumbledore answered.
"He hid one here," Stella stated, the obvious answer finally hitting her. "Oh, we're such idiots."
"He did not have time to hide a horcrux here," Dumbledore insisted.
"He had time to jinx the position, correct?" Stella demanded.
"Well, yes, but—"
"Therefore he had plenty of time to hide a horcrux. What is the jinx on the position? Where would he have been able to place it so that it would hold for so long?"
Dumbledore wasn't answering her anymore and Stella groaned in frustration, rolling her eyes at him before looking to Severus.
"The school rune stone," Severus stated. "If he put the jinx into the stone, then it would be active as long as he is alive."
"And if he left a horcrux nearby…"
"Then it could feed off of the stone…"
"So, we're looking for a supercharged horcrux next to the school rune stone. Great," Theo spoke up.
"Because our lives aren't difficult enough," Remus sighed.
"Where's the stone?" Stella asked Severus.
"I don't know," Severus shrugged.
"No one has found it in years. Not even myself. It was hidden or lost long ago," Dumbledore spoke up and Stella sighed, turning back to him.
"Is there a legend around it? Maybe we can solve that."
"I was told by Headmaster Dippet that it had been hidden away centuries ago to protect it and had been lost ever since," Dumbledore stated. "That is all that I know."
"Well, I doubt it's in the Chamber," Stella sighed. "Not even three of the founders knew that existed. It would be somewhere all of them could find it and get to it, have access to update anything they needed, including wards."
"He said it was hidden and lost?" Theo asked, standing beside Stella.
"Yes."
"Stell, where do you hide things?" Theo asked.
"Mrytle's bathroom," Stella shrugged.
"No. Where do you go to hide things?"
"Oh, the seventh… floor. Holy shite."
"Language," Severus drawled.
"It's in the Room of Requirement!" Stella slapped her forehead. "We're never going to find it! That place is a disaster and we don't even know what we're looking for!"
"Hogwarts…" Theo whispered, looking away from everyone and beginning to mumble under his breath. "Hogwarts was his home… obsessed with the school… he was Slytherins heir…"
"What is he—"
"Wait for it," Stella held her hand up, silencing Remus.
"Each founder had an item," Theo spoke to Dumbledore. "What were they?"
"Gryffindor's sword, Hufflepuff's goblet, Slytherin's locket, Ravenclaw's diadem, and the sorting hat," Dumbledore answered.
"We destroyed the locket," Theo stated. "We can test the hat and sword to see if there is a horcrux attached to each of them."
"If the sword had one, would it not have been destroyed when it was soaked in basilisk venom, or would it have had some sort of reaction to a threat being so close?" Remus asked.
"I feel like it would have had a reaction," Stella stated. "I was petrified though so I didn't see what happened. Just being soaked in the venom wouldn't have destroyed it."
"Riddle wouldn't have been able to get the sword. True Gryffindor and all that," Severus shook his head.
"So the diadem and the goblet," Theo stated.
"What's a diadem?" Stella asked curiously.
"Tiara," Theo explained.
"Stylish?"
"Probably. Not sure what it looked like though."
"Is there a copy of 'Hogwarts: A History' in here?"
"Here," Severus raised his hand and a book flew straight to him and he passed it to her.
Stella began turning the pages, just searching for any sort of tiara as Theo thought everything over, how they could split up and search the room. Stella found a sketched picture and froze.
"I know where it is," she stated, staring at the photo.
"How?" Severus asked, all three wizards staring at her in confusion.
"Come on," Stella told them, tossing the book onto Severus's desk and leading the way.
They were outside the Room of Requirement now.
"Didn't we hide in a broom closet here one time?" Remus asked Severus and Theo seemed to suddenly catch on.
"Oh, my God," he said, eyes widening as he stared at Stella. "Your dad and your uncle."
"Yeah, I've known since third year," Stella smirked. "Come on. Soul fractures first, social discoveries later."
The four walked into the overcrowded room; chairs, tables, and cabinets stacked haphazardly, old broomsticks, a bloodstained axe, trucks, cages with bones, and disassembled suits of armor. Stella followed a path that Harry had shown her during one of their walks, finding the chipped, old bust of an ugly warlock. The diadem sat on top of it and Severus's old book was beneath it. Stella pulled the book out, tossing it to Severus before using her sleeve to pick up the horcrux.
"He hid it here?" Severus asked.
"Put it under the bust and the tiara on top so he'd know where to find it if he ever wanted to use it again. Was too scared to grab it after hurting me," Stella shrugged.
"So, that's it?" Remus asked, staring at the diadem.
"Yup," she sighed. "Just like the picture. Is there a box around here somewhere so we can put it away?"
"Here," Theo grabbed a trunk, emptied it and shrunk it down to size before handing it to her.
Stella dropped the diadem into the box and closed it, locking it with a spell and looking around the room again.
"Wonder where the stone is…"
"We can look for it on another day," Severus told her. "We need to figure out what to do with that."
"An Avada or Fiendfyre will destroy it," she shrugged.
"It'll fight back though so we need to destroy it somewhere safe," Remus spoke up.
"Back to my office for now," Severus demanded.
Stella and Severus placed the box on the lake, sword beneath under the water. The deer showed Harry where to go and Stella and Severus disappeared a few moments later, Kreacher dropping off food and Blaise's wand.
Stella rose out of the Pensieve, breathing heavily.
