"Well, aren't they a cute couple?" Peach asked, gushing a bit at the two brawlers that were cuddling in the theatre room.
"Shh," Bowser replied, "If they hear you, they'll get mad."
"But they're cute together. And I didn't specify if it was a romantic relationship," Peach continued, "They're cute like that. Like a little toad and their mother. It's adorable."
"Well…" Bowser noticed Tifa tightening her grip on her friend, "Okay. I guess it is pretty cute." he admitted.
"See!" Peach whisper-shouted, "They're cute together."
"Just keep it down." Bowser replied, "I'll go see if Mewtwo can't lend us his telepathy or whatever."
"Telekinesis technically, but close enough." Peach corrected
Jak and Daxter were discussing with Hanzo about the two upcoming combatants… Well, Jak and Daxter were talking, Hanzo was busy cooking dinner. Every week or so, he would cook up something for a small group of people. This week was Guts.
He wanted Griffith's head on a platter, but since that was in short supply, the next best thing was a bowl of noodles with several kinds of meat. Guts needed the protein to keep swinging that sword around after all.
Cloud was also getting some food as well. Hanzo recalled that Cloud wanted a hearty steak dinner.
"All I'm saying, is that Scout is faster. And we've seen what happens when speed is factored in." Jak ranted, "Sonic, Tails, Flash - They all were faster than their opponent. Plus, Scout has a bigger arsenal."
"So, Me, Sonya and the two that you lost to all have that in common." Hanzo replied, carefully measuring the spices he was putting into Hercule's pasta. He was very specific about the amount of oregano that was supposed to be put in.
He was holding bell peppers when he was describing it, though. So, who knew what Hercule was thinking?
"So we agree that Scout's better speed and arsenal will win out."
Hanzo sighed, "And when Scout's ammunition runs out?"
"Tracer will be defeated before that happens." Jak refuted.
"Yep," Hanzo replied sarcastically, "Because as we all know, The Scout can heal damage in an instant." The yellow-clad ninja stared at the wine in his hand. He mumbled something in Japanese, and put the wine down.
"He's still faster."
"It's not that huge of a margin," Hanzo replied, downing a swig of his sake, "If Tracer is smart, and she should be considering she's an expert pilot, she would be able to outwit the boston blowhard."
"His arsenal is still better." Daxter offered.
"And Tracer still has infinite ammunition," Hanzo said, "The Scout's overconfidence and cockiness would cost him the win."
"How would you know?"
"I know nothing. But I'm sure that Hank McCoy could shed some mathematics on the subject." Hanzo replied.
"Fine. We'll ask him." Jak replied indignantly, "C'mon, Dax."
"Hang on a second, Jak."
"Daxter what are you doing?" Jak asked, without turning around.
"Uhh…"
"GET OUT OF THE PANTRY YOU WEASEL!" Scorpion bellowed.
"Alright, we're running!"
"So Dante, who're you rooting for?"
"Why are you even asking me Wade? You hardly ever pay attention to other people's opinions." The half-demon sighed, "And when you do, you usually ignore them unless they coincide with your own opinion."
"Interesting choice there, buddy."
"Why do I even bother trying to reason with you?" Dante lamented.
"I agree, it is a rather nice day out." Deadpool replied.
Dante put his large pizza slice down, "I'm obviously not gonna finish this…" He muttered.
"Yeah, it's a nice new suit. Do you like it?"
"And that answers my question."
"So, who do you think the author is rooting for? He asked me to stop spying on his comments."
"What autho- Y'know what, nevermind." Dante rushed, And since when have you ever honored another person's request?"
"When that person can take chimichangas off the menu, or worse…"
"There's something worse than some unknown, likely imaginary 'author' taking your favorite food off the menu?" Dante deadpanned.
"He could write two girls making out and not let me watch!" He shuddered.
Dante rolled his eyes, "Wow. Two girls who probably want some private time to themselves, and you don't get to watch. Such a heinous crime." He replied sarcastically.
"Okay, one: Ha! You said 'private'!"
"Real mature…"
"And second: Tell me you wouldn't want to see it too. I dare you."
Dante merely grumbled in response.
"HA! KNEW IT!"
Let me explain it to you; the average sniper round travels 800 meters per second at a minimum. Tracer was a little less than 9 meters when Widowmaker made her shot. Tracer managed to react in just a bit over a hundredth of a second.
Alexis: *Feverously taking notes*
Now, I took a look at that Meet The Scout trailer, and that whole 'Outran a train' thing feels like it was blown a little out of proportion. Scout already had a head start, and he didn't outrun the train, he sped across the tracks.
Alexis: *Still taking notes, also nodding* Tweet tweet.
Deadpool: Hey, watcha doin'?
I'm trying to educate the masses of how Tracer could win the fight because of her-
Deadpool: Her ass?
Dude.
Deadpool: What?
We both know that only Widowmaker is allowed to tap dat ass.
Deadpool: Ah, a Widowtracer shipper, huh? I'm more partial to Pharmercy myself.
Alexis: Tweet?
Deadpool: What can I say? I love a gal who can make deals with Death… Say-
No Wade. I'm not going to write you in a foursome with Pharah, Mercy, and Lady Death.
Deadpool: Okay, first off; Why nooottt? Second; Why do you call her Lady Death? What's wrong with just Death? And thirdly; c'moonnn! Just imply it happened off-screen.
To answer your first question: Because. The second: It's a habit that I can't drop… Plus, Jean has her own Death that's male, so I use it to differentiate. And thirdly: Get out of here before I slam your head against the disclaimer!
Deadpool: What good is that going to do? I can't die, remember?
I'm aware of that. But I do know that it'll hurt like a BITCH!
Deadpool: Wubwubwubwubwub!
Alexis: *Shaking head as if to say "Why do I live with these two?"*
I WROTE THIS THING AT NEARLY 3:00 AM! I'M GOING TO GET YOU TO SHUT UP IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
