"The Warrior, the Jester, the Scriptor, and the Soldier all come together. The one that is the mightiest shall pass the first trial. The one of speed shall defeat the trial of the second trial. The one of golden stars shall solve the riddle of the third trial. Leaving the one of red, to complete the journey alone."
"Who writes this crap?"
"Hell if I know, Wade," The author replied, "All we need to do is to beat these trials, and we reach my muse."
"Whatever. But when we're done here, you're writing Samus doing a strip show later."
"Never going to happen. At least, not for you." Dudeblade shot back.
"Oh, then who would get it then?" The merc asked.
"I already established that Samus is bi. She has a thing for Rosalina." The author replied.
"Chirp chirp."
"Okay, Alexis found a small passageway." Pinkie called out, "I think that she can fit in there."
The author and Wade moved towards the passageway. The size looked as if it was specifically made for Alexis' petit size.
"Where's Alexis, anyways?" X asked.
"She went in. Seriously, you didn't hear the echo of her chirping?" Pinkie asked.
"Tweet tweet! Chirp!" Alexis called from inside the small cave-like hole.
"Wait, what door?"
Rumble…
"If I had to venture a guess, that one."
It was rather unfortunate that Alexis has to stay within the chamber in order to keep it open. But, the quest for the muse of the author was worth the risk. Once back in the writing room, Alexis could be easily brought back.
The next room was one that was strange. All that was there was a strange treadmill.
"So, how is this going to work, anyways?"
"If I had to guess, one of us is going to have to run on that thing to unlock the door or something." Deadpool deduced.
"Seems simple enough." The author shrugged, "So, who wants to do the running?"
"I prefer the term 'galloping.'" Pinkie called from the treadmill.
"Why you, though?" Wade asked.
"Because there's a special key in here, and if I use my mane just right…" She said as she started to morph her mane into a drill, "Aha!"
The pink pony had successfully unlocked the treadmill, and had started run… Galloping on the treadmill.
RUMBLE…
Just as Deadpool predicted, the door revealed itself.
"You have any idea as to why the last door was louder than the first?" X asked Deadpool.
"I don't know. But hey, it's just you and me. Like old times!" He said, placing his arm around the author's neck.
"Yep. I totally missed those days." The author replied sarcastically.
"See, I knew it was true that you didn't hate me!"
"Whatever."
The author sighed as he rolled his eyes.
"Anyways, since this is your story arc, we should figure out how to get you in the next room." Deadpool mentioned.
"Wait, how? The stupid prophecy at the beginning said that it was the 'one in red' that would pass onto the final room."
"Yeah, but It also said that it would be the 'one of golden stars' will pass this trial. Meaning that it should've been Lexi. But considering that she can use a normal-sized shotgun in her small size, yeah. She's probably got the muscle power to use it." Deadpool explained.
"Huh, I guess you're right. I'd have thought that-"
"Plus, the strength was more in the fact that she can do all of that, and that she doesn't do stuff like punch our balls off, shows restraint. That's real strength."
"Wow, Wade… That's really insightful for you." X started.
"Plus, I already spray painted my costume gold. So, I'm going to place my limbs in a star formation on that alter, so you can hurry up and end this story arc." He said as he brandished a sword.
"Well okay then."
Dudeblade walked through the corridor carefully. The LED light illuminated the path until he reached a wall with an incantation enscribed on it.
"With blood and rage of crimson red…" he read aloud, "Ripped from a corpse so freshly dead…"
The incantation started to sound familiar at this point, "Together with our hellish hate- Wait a second!" The author exclaimed, "This is just the Red Lantern oath! So what, am I supposed to believe that all of my writing ability came from my anger? - That's stupid!"
DudebladeX threw his arms up in frustration, "Augh! All this effort, and I end up with some bullshit that ends with me using my rage and anger to fuel my muse?" He kicked the wall, "That's some Meta vs. Carolina being biased level bull right there!"
The author kicked the wall one more time, "I'm going to destroy this thing! That is your fate!" he mocked.
The wall started to crack, revealing a blinding light seeping through the cracks. The cracks started to spread throughout the room.
"Gragh!" The entire room shattered, leaving the author to float around in the void.
Never to be seen again…
"Hey, wake up."
"Unh…"
"Wake up kid."
"Nhh…"
"Dude, c'mon."
"Don't wanna."
"There was just a leak for Freeza fighting Sephiroth."
"I'm up! When is it? Who's voicing? Oh man, I gotta get ready to write that Heroes vs. Villains chapter I've been wanting to write for so long… Oh! I can finally do the Spider-Man Batman and Captain America combo attack I always wanted to write-"
"I was lying buddy. It's about time you got up."
The author looked rather disappointed. Well, more like he was used to the disappointment,, and he was irritated, but still. He was disappointed.
"Oh. So what'd you want?" he asked, "Follow up question, where are you, and who are you?"
"I am the keeper of the muse." The voice replied.
"So, is this going to be one of those 'You take on the form most comforting to me' type of appearances, or what? Because I'd rather talk to a physical being rather than a disembodied voice." Dudeblade deadpanned.
"If that is what makes you comfortable, then I will do that." The muse keeper replied as a figure came down to the author's eye level.
"Is this form pleasing enough?"
"You literally turned into Raven Branwen. I get that I openly admit that the deadbeat would make for a better mother than my emotionally abrasive one, but still." The author ground out.
"Hey, would you prefer someone from an obscure series that nobody's likely heard of?" 'Raven' snarked.
"Yes." The author didn't miss a beat.
"Who would you suggest, then?" The muse keeper asked.
"Dinobot from Beast Wars." The author replied after about a minute of thinking.
"Underrated series, but alright." Another flash enveloped the muse keeper, as his form changed to that of the original Dinobot's body.
"So, I hear you are looking for your muse…" 'Dinobot' trailed off.
"Yeah. Do you have it?"
"Foolish writer. The muse was within you all this ti-"
"Oh that's bullshit!" The author replied indignantly, "I did not spend nearly five weeks with Deadpool just to hear that 'it was inside you all along' tripe. How is that even possible, anyways?"
"You use your red to fuel your writing ability." The muse keeper replied in a calm manner.
"Red like rage? Or red like roses?" The author snarked back.
"Yes, red may be the color of rage," The muse keeper went on, "But red is also the color of passion. You were passionate about how these characters found their place in history as some of the greatest fictional icons of inspiration and hope could coexist with one another despite fighting to the death regularly. You were passionate about how you felt that people shouldn't think that they couldn't be friends, and now look at them; they are friendly with one another. Even Scrooge is willing to forgive Shovel Knight as long as he digs up a bit of extra treasure."
He gestured into a window that showed exactly that: Shovel Knight and Scrooge McDuck getting along, and digging up treasure together. Having what looked like to be the time of their lives.
The author looked on. He was shown various visuals of the hotel - his world, and all the characters just… Being friends.
"For you see, it was your passionate belief in these mighty warriors that gave you your ability to write about them so well." The muse keeper explained.
The author looked on as several of the characters had charts up of the next two fighters - Venom and Bane - and having a discussion about who would win. He saw many things. Spider-Man and Batman playing chess, Yang and Tifa having a friendly arm wrestling competition, Dante and Bayonetta having some target practice, and so many more images.
"You see, it is as you said."
"What? What'd I say?" The author asked.
"'Just because they fought in Death Battle, doesn't mean they can't be friends.'" The muse keeper quoted.
"I did say that…" DudebladeX trailed off.
"Indeed. You also once said that you listen to music while writing. Perhaps you should do that again."
"I guess so." The author replied.
A flash of light nearly blinded him, "What the?"
"Be not afraid. Your muse is simply taking on a physical form. It will be your weapon that will be representative of your ability."
The light show ended. And in the hands of the author was his weapon.
"Really? A Bo Staff?"
"Hey, it's your muse." The keeper replied, "I have no way to influence what shape it takes." he defended.
"Whatever. I guess I found it again." The Author shrugged, "So, how do I get out of here?"
The being smirked, "'Tis the will of The Writer. Make a way out."
"Alright." The Author steeled himself, "Here goes nothing…"
X: Woah!
Wade: Gah!
Pinkie: Ah!
Alexis: Tweet!
X: That was weird…
Wade: You're telling me. Hey, neat staff.
Alexis: Chirp?
X: It's apparently the physical embodiment of my muse… It's also my weapon of choice should we ever need to venture out past the walls of fiction and reality again.
Wade: Cool. So, discuss Venom vs. Bane next time before the disclaimer?
X: Sure.
Wade: Neat. So, do you want me to do it, or Pinkie?
X: I'll do it. My name is DudebladeX. I don't own these characters. Please support the official release.
All/Alexis: See you next time!/Chirp chirp!
