I decided that another walk would help calm my nerves. So, I put on a warm sweatshirt and stepped outside again.

Dimitri used to tease me, saying I could never live in a place as peaceful as this house, tucked away in the middle of nowhere. Though I agreed with him, I had to admit that being here was undeniably nice. The quiet forest surrounding our hideout had a calming effect on strong scent of fresh wood and damp leaves made me wonder if I really couldn't live in a place like this. But the answer was no. I didn't want to be far from the center of events. I needed to be right where the action was, fighting for what I believed in.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the creak of the door opening. Without hesitation, I grabbed my stake and, staying hidden in the shadows, crept toward the porch where the sound had come from. I was ready to spring at the intruder, legs coiled to leap and hand poised, when the source of the noise appeared in front of me, hands raised.

"Little Dhampir, I know we've had a turbulent history, but take pity and don't puncture my pretty face."

I let out a shuddering breath, feeling the tension leave my body. Adrian held a cigarette, its nauseating smell irritating my lungs. Unfortunately, I had lost the right to comment on his noxious habits. I hid the stake in my belt and looked at him in exasperation.

"Then why are you lurking in the dark, knowing full well that I'm on guard duty?"

"I trusted that you would distinguish me from a soulless monster. Isn't that, by any chance, one of the bright sides of dying several times?"

My lips formed a reluctant half-smile.

"Yes, that's one of the advantages. You know, we don't have too many of them."

"Well, yes, seeing ghosts, absorbing our hysteria, and involuntarily glimpsing into others' minds... it's good you're compensated in some way," he said, lighting his cigarette and taking a drag without hesitation. I grimaced at the stench, which reminded me of his behavior before our ill-fated relationship when he would smoke without regard for my presence.

I looked at his tall, relaxed posture and felt the need to bring up this unspoken topic. I wanted to be honest with him, to talk to him, because I missed him like hell. But I knew this was a slippery slope. And I knew it was my fault.

"It's been a long time since I've heard you call me that," I said, uncertainty threading through my voice. I waved the smoke away as it reached my nose. "Little Dhampir," I clarified. My heart raced faster than it had when I thought I was facing an intruder."

Adrian merely shrugged, looking as nonchalant as he could.

"For a while, I didn't feel like calling you that," he said, meeting my gaze, though there was nothing hostile in his expression. Silence fell around us as I slowly analyzed his words. My first instinct was to back away from that porch, to hide and get out of his sight. However, his tone and gaze weren't unpleasant; they even hinted at... a certain affection. As if the past tense he used was some sort of sign.

"But now... do you feel like it?" I didn't want to overstep any boundaries, but the hope of mending our friendship pushed me to ask this risky question.

A bittersweet smile played on his lips, and amusement flashed in his eyes. He nodded slowly, averting his eyes for a moment.

"Yeah. It's been that way for some time now."

I let out a shaky breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Adrian looked at me with a mixture of amusement and bitterness. He leaned back against the wooden railing of the porch, while I leaned against the table, crossing my arms over my chest. I was reminded of our first meeting, in a mountain resort, less than a year ago. Back when we were still strangers to each other—before I had broken his heart in half.

"I... I'm glad," I admitted in a whisper, feeling a lump in my throat. Adrian nodded, lowering his head. "So... when? Why?"

Adrian's shoulders relaxed, as if shedding a burden he'd been carrying for some time. The tension between us, amplified by our forced proximity, finally found its release. He took a drag on his cigarette, and I resisted the temptation to tell him to stop.

"I needed some distance to put things into perspective. When we broke up…" we both squirmed at this memory, "... you were right. We aren't meant for each other. But I wanted us to be, and I clung to that fantasy so hard that it turned our relationship into an illusion."

I scuffed my feet on the wooden floor, unable to look him in the eye. Why had I agreed to be with him in the first place? I felt sick at the mere memory of the time when I returned from Russia. I thought I had killed Dimitri. My heart was shattered, and chaos reigned in my mind. I knew that I had to somehow try to survive, to live what was left of my life. I knew that Adrian was important to me, that I loved him in some way.

"I don't want to sound like a cliché, but I never wanted to hurt or deceive you… I... I wanted to move on with my life. I thought I could. I thought that by loving someone else I would be able to have a normal life, because when I came back from Russia... I didn't know if I could."

"I know, Rose. The worst thing is that I also knew it when I made that unfortunate deal with you."

I looked at him in surprise. The warm light of the lamp fell on him, highlighting his deadly serious expression.

"What do you mean?"

"I can read auras, remember? I knew you loved Dimitri more than me. For God's sake, just the mention of his name lit up your aura more than any kiss we ever shared."

I didn't know what to think of this, though I felt embarrassed that Adrian understood my feelings better than I did.

"That doesn't mean I didn't love you."

"I know that too," he said with a sad smile. "Not in the same way, but you loved me. I know you still do, though not in the way I once wanted. I know you were sincere in your intentions with me. But you weren't sincere with yourself. And unfortunately, I knew your mental state when we started dating—how unstable your aura was, and how unstable you were."

"I had a pretty rough time," I murmured, not wanting to dwell on that period.

"Of course, it wasn't unexpected, considering everything else going on in your life—the attacks, fights, kidnappings, absorbing Spirit's dark side from Lissa, and of course, losing someone you loved—all while you were barely eighteen. You weren't in the best state to make decisions."

"Hey, but it's not like I was incapable of deciding anything. I made a conscious decision to start a relationship with you. I wanted to move on with my life. That was my choice.

"I know that, Rose," he said, his eyes full of sincerity. "But even though that's what you wanted, you weren't ready for it. You threw yourself into the deep end when you needed more time. And I knew that. I knew you were drowning in those feelings—I saw it. I knew you'd lost someone you loved, and instead of helping you back on your feet as a friend, I took the chance to start a romantic relationship with you. Hell, Rose, maybe I used you more than you used me."

I was stunned. What the hell was going on? I blinked as he looked at me expectantly.

"What are you talking about? That's not true, you didn't use me! I didn't do anything against my will. Why did you even think of that?"

This time, he was the one who stayed silent. He averted his gaze, staring into the dark forest as he took one last drag on his cigarette. He looked like he was about to toss it onto the ground, but at the last moment, he frowned and dropped it into the ashtray instead.

"Before leaving for Palm Springs, Christian and I had a... rather heated exchange of opinions."

I was surprised again. Christian and Adrian had never been fond of each other, so any exchange of opinions between them always risked ending in a row. Adrian didn't wait for my reaction and continued.

"I think it was one evening with Lissa and Jill. I don't remember it too well, but apparently, you tried to be friendly, and I… well, I was mean and harsh enough to hurt you."

I had no idea what evening he was talking about, because the truth was that a similar situation had happened many times. Dimitri and I endured his rude, often cruel comments, giving him space to cool down. We both felt guilty for hurting Adrian, especially in the way he found out. So even though it really was hurtful, I accepted his malice without batting an eye. I just didn't know what Christian had to do with it. Adrian continued.

"I left early. Sitting with my ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend wasn't exactly my idea of a fun evening. After making a few more remarks, I rushed out. Christian followed me. He scolded me for doing everything I could to make you feel even worse than you already did. I replied that I deserved at least that, after the way you both treated me. Then Christian snapped and launched into a long monologue about it. That maybe everything wasn't as black and white as I saw it. That maybe I was the one who forced my way into your life as your boyfriend while you were still in love with someone else—so much so that you threw your whole life to hell to get him back. Forget that—just to free his soul. That you were still healing, and instead of staying your friend, I shoved myself into the role of someone you least needed. And when you accomplished the impossible by getting him back—but he didn't want to be with you—I knew how you felt about him. Instead of letting you sort things out between you two, I deluded myself into thinking that, with time, your feelings for him would fade and ours would deepen. I should have known better. And I was so stubborn in my fantasies about us that I preferred to lie to myself rather than face the truth."

For a while, I could only stand frozen with my eyes wide open. I didn't quite believe that what I heard was what came out of Adrian's mouth. I shook my head, not fully agreeing with him.

"Adrian, it wasn't quite like that. I don't know where Christian suddenly got this protective instinct, but it's not like I was some helpless little girl being taken advantage of by you. When Dimitri... was turned in that cave, I was devastated but I was still coherent. And I wheedled money out of you, playing on your feelings for me. You have to admit, that's the very definition of taking advantage."

Adrian made a loose gesture with his hand.

"You know this money means nothing to me. And if there was ever a moment when you might have been out of your mind, it was probably just when Dimitri fell."

I grimaced slightly.

"But when I returned from Russia, I was very aware of my actions. I didn't know yet that I could save Dimitri, but I entered a relationship with you because I wanted to. I wanted to move on in my life. Maybe, it was too much for me at that moment, but I was sane. I entered into a relationship with you and I'm ready to accept the consequences of how badly I screwed it up."

Adrian's lips twisted.

"It's hard not to screw up a relationship when you love someone else. You were too confused to see everything clearly, but I could. I saw your aura clear as day. Still, I chose to ignore it until it finally blew up in my face."

I couldn't meet his gaze out of shame, so I stared at my shoes instead.

"I promised you that Dimitri's return would not change anything."

"Even if you wanted to keep that promise, you couldn't. I understand that now. It hurt too much to accept before, but I see it clearly now—we would never have what you two have. Of course his return changed everything. You couldn't control that. Staying in the relationship while loving someone else wasn't right."

I nodded uncertainly, and Adrian gave me a sad smile.

"After that… talk… being near you was really hard. On one hand, I still felt hurt and used. On the other… I don't know, I felt stupid. And guilty. The conflicting thoughts drove me crazy, so I avoided you as much as I could. When Jill was sent to Palm Springs, I agreed to go with her without a second thought. Here… I don't know, I think I regained some peace of mind—or at least as much as any spirit user can. For a while now, when I think of you, I don't feel anything bad—just the way I did when we were friends."

I looked at him with such clear hope in my eyes that he had to laugh.

"I'm serious. This brutal breakup seems to have wiped out any romantic thoughts, but… I don't know. I still care about you. I still enjoy spending time with you. It seemed impossible to me that we could ever go back to being friends, but these last few days... have been peaceful. I don't feel angry or hurt. I know you felt the tension and awkwardness too. Everything I've been thinking about since that argument with Christian has been piling up inside me, and I just wanted to tell you—my feelings have changed. And I thought that maybe it wouldn't be impossible, you know, to return to just being friends."

He looked at me uncertainly, and I couldn't help myself—I threw my arms around him. He laughed lightly and hugged me close. It was so weird to be so close to him after everything, but after all that he told me, it finally felt right.

"I would love that. I missed you."

"And I missed you, Little Dhampir." He squeezed me tightly before letting me go. I stared at him, still stunned.

"I could see there was some change in you regarding me, but I'm still shocked. I never expected to hear this from you in my wildest dreams."

Adrian nodded his head with a wry smile.

"Mostly because I acted like a shithead most of the time. But, honestly, a little distance helped me put it all into perspective."

I bit my lip, considering another possible reason for his newfound clarity. Adrian knew me too well to miss the hesitation.

"What?" he asked. I shrugged, hesitant. "Rose."

"I just wondered if you had any extra motivation to shift your feelings from me to someone else. You know, I'm not stupid—or blind."

Fear flashed in Adrian's eyes the moment I said it. He fell silent for a moment. I hesitated but decided being honest was the best solution.

"It's not a bad thing, Adrian, but I've noticed—you and Sydney seem really close. Really close."

He sighed, surprised, and turned from me. His expression looked pained, as though something was hurting him.

"Adrian." I touched his shoulder and squeezed it. "What's going on? Is… is something wrong?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes filled with sorrow as he looked at me.

"Rose, there's nothing between us—and there never will be."

"I've been watching since I got to Palm Springs, so don't tell me there's nothing between you. I've seen it."

"It's not that simple," he said through clenched teeth. "I might have… some feelings for Sydney, and maybe she has feelings for me too. But we can never be together."

"Nonsense," I said, snorting. "If you're both in love with each other, what's stopping you?"

"Do you remember that Sydney is human?" Adrian asked, exasperated. His words stopped me mid-sentence. The truth was, for a moment I forgot. In my mind, Sydney belonged to our world more than the human one. I wanted so badly for Adrian to care for someone else that I pushed the truth out of my mind. But there was no doubt - Sydney was human. Relationships between dhampirs and Moroi were already unconventional and frowned upon—something I'd experienced firsthand while dating Adrian. But a relationship between a Moroi and a human? That was completely unacceptable—unnatural, even offensive.

But I couldn't see it that way when I remembered Adrian's worried eyes as he waited for Dimitri and Sydney to show up in Los Angeles. Or the way Sydney's watchful eyes lingered when Adrian took a call from his mother. Or their way of being with each other, as if they belonged exactly where the other was.

"Adrian, I've been watching these past few days. There's nothing unnatural about what you share with her. I know it would be unconventional, but… if you love each other, it's worth the price."

"There's more to it than that," he said, his voice strained. "For me, it means being excluded from the Moroi community. But for Sydney, it's far worse. If the Alchemists found out she'd formed even a friendly relationship with someone from our race, they'd send her to a re-education camp."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, the weight of his words sinking in during the pause.

"I'm talking about how they detain Alchemists who believe we aren't evil incarnate. They take them to facilities where they're brainwashed and tortured until the word 'vampire' means nothing but 'perpetual evil.'"

I couldn't get any words out. I started shaking my head.

"That's impossible. We live in the twenty-first century. They can't ... detain people and brainwash them."

Adrian nodded sadly, satisfied that I understood the seriousness of the situation.

"They operate completely independently. They can do whatever they want—and they do."

"But they can't!" I burst out. Adrian silenced me with a gesture. "This is barbaric. Lissa has to stop them!"

Adrian looked at me, his exhaustion evident.

"Lissa has no power over them."

I snorted in frustration, crossing my arms tightly over my chest. I'd always thought of Alchemists as extremists, but I assumed it stopped at their beliefs. I'd never imagined they were capable of torturing their own people and brainwashing them.

"Something has to be done about it…" I decided. "So you both know about your feelings?"

Adrian squirmed, tilting his head in a noncommittal gesture that seemed to say, "Kinda."

"Maybe… but there are so many uncertainties that I can't say for sure. Besides, we both know it's impossible."

"Well, if you want it badly enough, anything is possible. I'll help you," I said.

A faint smile played on his lips.

"Of course. When you set your mind on something, nothing can stop you," he said with a faint smile.

I shrugged, meeting his gaze. I wanted him to see that I was willing to take a risk to help him chase his dreams. Not just to make up for our past, but because I genuinely wanted him to be happy.

"Just call me and I'll show up where you need me."

"Good to know," he said, a smile tugging at his lips. He yawned, gesturing toward the house. "I'd better get to bed. You're so distracted by my dazzling presence that anyone could sneak past you."

"You've got to be kidding me," I said with a snort, giving him a playful shove. We exchanged genuine smiles before he turned and walked back into the house. I went on another round of patrolling, hoping that the walk would help me sort out my scattered thoughts.

I hadn't thought Adrian would want to—or could—forgive me so quickly. I'd imagined it might take years to rebuild our friendship, yet now it felt within reach.

On top of that, his admission of his feelings for Sydney... I couldn't stop analyzing every move they made, every longing glance, every stolen touch. They seemed like the last two people who would ever get along, yet there was something undeniably genuine about their connection. In some unexplained way, they fit together. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of that.

I also couldn't stop thinking about the alchemist re-education center. Did Lissa know about it? She couldn't have been uninformed—after all, she ruled the Moroi world. If she knew, why hadn't she told me? Why hadn't she done anything to stop it? I didn't have the answers yet, but one thing was certain—I would do everything in my power to end this.