Chapter 3 – Trapped
Friday, July 22nd, 2022
Troy's POV
I held Gabi's hand as this had been such a busy week this week but yet we found ourselves across from Dr. Monty again. Training camp was starting, and I was increasing my frequency of workouts, running, and working with my receivers as training camp was next week. I flew out tonight to finish some commercials in LA and I was back Monday morning to get started with camp. I honestly couldn't believe it was already time for it to start. Gabi was fidgeting in her seat, and I looked over at her.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked and she looked over at me. "I'm just nervous. I don't know what she is going to say and if we have to wait for one of my periods to do anything?" I could see the worry in her eyes, and I reached over to rub the back of her neck. "Let's not worry about what we don't know yet. We may be able to skip that part, fuck, I would love to skip that part because that isn't worth it to me." She sent me a small smile as she told me about Claire saying she would pick Gabi as a second mommy and that Gabi should have a baby because she would be a good mommy. Gabi just smiled while she told me about it.
The door opened and Dr. Monty and Indy walked in as I could see the look on Dr. Monty's face that she was confused about something as she sat down on the other side of the desk. "How are you both?" she asked each of us and we both mumbled our greetings back. "We're good, anxious," Gabi said. Dr. Monty nodded as she looked at Gabi first, "Nothing was too surprising about any of your test results, Gabi. You have PCOS, definitely not your classic PCOS because your hormones are out of whack, but you don't have a ton of the other symptoms. Your insulin levels are great, and your ultrasounds looked about how I expected them to look. I would probably proceed with a scope of your uterus and your fallopian tubes to make sure we aren't missing anything, and we could do that in the next couple of weeks."
Her eyes shifted over to me, and I felt my gut drop for a moment, "Troy, you said you have a daughter?" I nodded my head as I shifted in my chair. "Yea, she's five."
"And she is biologically yours?"
I felt my blood run hot with the question and I sat up straight, "Yes, she's biologically mine. She looks just like me."
Dr. Monty glanced at me, "Have you done paternity tests done?" I felt my blood pressure rising in the room and I felt Gabi's hand gently rest on my forearm. "Dr. Monty is there a reasoning for these questions?" her voice was soft, and I could feel her eyes on my face as she spoke. I could feel smoke steaming from my ears. "Troy, your sperm isn't exactly…fast. It's actually fairly slow and I would be honestly shocked if you had sex one time without birth control and it resulted in a pregnancy."
I felt like my chest was on fire, "They have had paternity tests done." Gabi finally said aloud because no words were finding me at the moment. "Claire is his child. They also did genetic testing when Claire was diagnosed with cancer and the two parents provided a sample and they both came back as matches to the child." Gabi's hand soothed down my arm and I released a pocket of air because I knew she was my daughter. Nothing would ever take that from me. Claire was my daughter. "Then I am going back to – you definitely had a lot more unprotected sex for this to happen. It's not completely unlikely to have a child with slow sperm but it's really, really, uncommon."
My body was on fire, and I felt like nothing was going right. My head was spinning as I inhaled and the panic rise in my chest. "Troy," her words were quiet, and I looked over at her as blood was roaring in my ears. "Hey, Troy, look at me." Her hand reached for my jaw to pull my attention back to her. "Hey, it's okay, Claire is yours. We know that."
I exhaled and I stared at her some more. "It's okay," she brushed her fingers over my hand, and I exhaled again. She squeezed my hand softly as I squeezed it back.
I let go of her hand to rub my face and I brushed my hands through my hair as I looked over at Gabi, "So what do we do?" I questioned as I was trying to get my heartrate to relax and calm down. Claire was my child. There was proof that Claire was my child. Dr. Monty exhaled softly, and she looked at the two of us, "You can do IUIs, Intrauterine insemination, but with the combination of PCOS and the slow sperm – your best odds and the best way to do this would be just to go straight to IVF. We could do medication for Gabi to help her ovulate but with Troy's poor sperm mobility it would never be likely it would result in a pregnancy. IUIs have a low chance of working and I know you both want a baby, and you have the financial freedom to just do IVF."
Gabi let her fingers slip through mine again and we took one look at each other, "Okay," Gabi said quietly. "Let's do it. How long will it take before we can do this? It would be great if we could try to have a baby in the off-season, but I also understand that this could take time and I honestly don't want to wait that long." Dr. Monty nodded her head as she started talking about the timelines and how we could set up the procedure for Gabi next week to make sure she had a good, healthy uterus and to make sure it is a good place for implantation. After that we will do a month of birth control to see if we can get your period to induce.
I rolled my lips together because that was the shittiest thing that was said after the whole thing about Claire. Gabi let her head tilt to the side and nodded her head in understanding as this was going to take longer than she wanted. "If I start my cycle naturally?" she asked, and they discussed that but Gabi's body you would never know it and it would just be better to try and control it starting after her procedure. "Can you guys to Tuesday? I can fit you in that morning."
"Yes," I automatically said, and Gabi turned to look at me. "We have Claire,"
"I know we have Claire, but I also have the day off. I don't have meetings and I can be here for you." Gabi just nodded as we would deal with what to do with Claire after the fact. "Troy, I also do want to say that I never doubted that your child was yours and I felt like I came across the wrong way. I am just surprised after reading the report – especially if it was one night only."
"No, no, it's okay." I told her with an easy smile as my body had finally started to relax. "I think the worst thing you said to me was that Gabi had to have a period."
"I know, I'm sorry. We'll see how it goes with these hormones and hopefully we can have a successful egg retrieval next month. You'll come back when you period starts, do some more ultrasounds, and we will discuss all the medications that you will be on then. I don't want to overwhelm you all with all this information. We have all of these packets to help detail everything." Gabi took the papers, and we finished up our meeting as our fingers intertwined together. We made it outside and I looked at her. "You, okay?" I asked and she nodded those brown eyes turning to me with worry deep inside of them.
"Are you okay? I know we were both assuming that nothing was going to be wrong with your tests and I saw your face. I wanted to wrap you up." My eyes looked over at her as we made it to the car. I paused as I looked at her as I weighed my thoughts. "I was caught off guard – that's for sure. I think the threat that maybe all the other tests were run, and that Claire wasn't mine, but I know that's unlikely. I just…felt weird about it. I was scared that maybe this was going to throw off everything."
Gabi rubbed my arms, and she slipped her arms around my waist. "It was a weird though. I wasn't expecting it, either." She pulled away and looked at me as I gave her a small smile.
"I am just surprised because of Claire." I spoke.
"Man, we really could have been great in high school together. We were never having kids." Gabi said and we both took a laugh together as I brought her into my arms. "I can safely assume Eve trapped me in that pregnancy," Gabi pushed back, and our eyes met. "I don't care though; I am going to assume she was never on birth control and there was just one good sperm of the bunch." We both smiled and I stroked her cheek. "We're going to get our baby and I don't care if it's during the season. We'll figure it out. I play one day a week."
"I just want to go to all of your games." Gabi said.
"And I think you'd rather have a baby. We'll figure it out, but you are going to have to console me during your next period," Gabi laughed pinching my stomach and I wrapped her up in my arms again as I held her. "Want to come to LA with me?" I murmured and she laughed shaking her head. "No, I don't. I am going to go home and work on some stuff from The Sunshine Pact." We both got in the car and Gabi reached for my hand as she was quiet for a little bit before looking at me.
"What would you think if I said I wanted to vlog or do TikTok's or whatever about our infertility journey?" I looked over at her and then back to the road before I looked at her again. Those brown eyes were looking right at me, and I blinked as I wasn't sure what to say back to her. "I mean, I think I am surprised because of just wanting our privacy and how much you value privacy."
"I think you forget I am an influencer for nursing students,"
"I also think this is completely different." I shot back and Gabi looked over at me as she didn't speak for a moment and then exhaled. "I just think of all the women who do it alone. Who have nobody to talk too, and this can feel really lonely. Nobody in our group of friends is doing this and if they are? We don't know about it. Why not take the stigma and fear away from it? Just like you talking openly about your mental health. You are raising funds for pediatric cancer. I am working with cancer patients. We talked about the things that happen in our daily life and I think this is something positive to talk about and an outlet. I can form a community of people who understand."
My foot pressed on the break as we came to a stop at a stop light as I turned to look at her. "Can we delay it? I want to maintain safety and everything and this can bring out raw emotions, Gabi." She nodded her head, "I was watching women on TikTok last night and I felt empowered by them, and I just think we have a platform to bring woman and families together. Why not use it for something good? Why be so hush-hush that we have real life problems?"
I honestly did not have a counter argument for that. "If you want too and you feel comfortable doing it – I don't care and I am supportive of you. I will participate and I think you're right. We have the platform to make the topic a conversation and something people shouldn't be ashamed of."
"I want to donate to families who can't afford it, too."
"We can't save everybody," I reminded her, and she nodded, "I know. I just…it feels terrible that we are going to be able to do this as much as we want without ramifications because we have money. People deserve kids even if they can't afford the huge costs of IVF." I squeezed her hand because I always knew my girl had the biggest heart. "We'll figure something out," I said sending her a look and she nodded with a smile on her face.
"Are you going to tell Eve?" she asked me, and I shrugged, "Probably not. There isn't a point. We are in a really good place right now and I don't want to rock that boat too much, yea?" Gabi nodded in understanding. "I am going to send an update to our family," she said shooting me a look as I nodded because we were keeping our family loosely in the know. I think one of the things that bugged Gabi the most was there no surprise. There was no – oh, I might be pregnant. Let me take a test and then surprise me. All of the surprise was taken from us, and it deeply hurt her the most in that way so I think she wanted to surprise the family as much as she could when it happened but at the same time it was hard because with football season starting it was going to be all hands-on deck.
My eyes looked over at her and I smiled squeezing her knee gently, I was really proud of her though and I couldn't have found a stronger wife.
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022
Gabi's POV
I sat on the floor as tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I was going to do it. Troy was gone in LA to finish up some stuff and I was going to make our first TikTok. I had made plenty others with Claire and Troy in the past and had a decent following, but it was time to just be honest with everything. There was not a reason to be shy about it and there was nothing to be ashamed of. I started back on birth control pills today and I hated birth control pills but also knew this was necessary.
I stared at my phone as I made sure the lighting was right with the ring camera and I pulled my knees up to my chest as I was in Troy's sweatshirt from Alabama and a pair of shorts. My knees tucked to my chest as I inhaled before pressing start on the camera.
"Hi everybody, not very often that I don't just post a silly video, but Troy and I have some news. I know a lot of people, especially our families, were expecting the news that we were going to be having a baby very soon. That we were expecting and all the fun stuff and well…" I paused as I took in a deep breath, and I couldn't stop the overwhelming emotions of the moment but knew that it was important to show all of my emotions. "Troy and I received news that we are going to have to go the very scientifical way of having a baby. We are in the process of starting IVF here very shortly as I have PCOS, and Troy has his own version of male infertility that was shocking to both of us. I've known since college due to really painful and heavy periods but after all of our tests came back, we got a bit of a shock that it wasn't going to be as easy as we thought." I tucked my hands into the sweatshirt as I talked.
I wiped away a few tears as I took a deep breath, "But we've both decided that we're going to take you on the ride with us. Show our side of IVF – the good, the bad, and the ugly portions of it. Nobody should be alone doing this and while we personally don't know anybody, but we know there are thousands of you out there that will go along this journey with us. Drop questions below and maybe I'll answer a few of them throughout the weekend. I'll drop an update video on where we are in the journey in a few days and our plans for the next several weeks. I am with all of you mama's out there going through this."
My finger pressed the video to end it and I exhaled as I felt lighter and better. I think this was going to be good for me in the end. This was going to be what I needed to do to pass the time and to take my mind off it. It gave me an outlet for this version of my life. While working on the oncology ward The Sunshine Pact came to fruition because of just needing an outlet and supporting the kids. I laid on the couch as began to edit the video as it almost broke me watching myself. The pain the was buried deep inside of my chest because of how hard this all was and how I never imagined this. That was the hardest part. I never pictured this being my life. Infertility? Troy's own infertility? No wonder we didn't have kids in high school by accident.
It was like he knew I needed to see his face. I slid over the button and his face popped up on my phone as he was sitting on set somewhere. "That is a beautiful but very sad face. What's wrong?" he asked as I saw the frown over his lips. I shook my head. "I just filmed probably my first TikTok about our IVF journey and I was just thinking about how this is going to be such a ride. I don't know. I'm scared and nervous and I hope it works. I also miss you and I am very thankful you called right now." Troy gave a little chuckle as he looked over the phone for a moment and then back to me.
"I'm sorry, baby. I can only imagine how much you think about this." I shrugged with a deep breath. "It's for our baby," I whispered, and he gave me a smile back. "It'll be worth it. I just hate that I can surprise you on day that we got pregnant." Troy gave a sad smile. "I will get to be surprised with you." I nodded as I wanted to hug him. "I miss you." I whispered to him. Troy sighed, "I miss you, too. I did invite you to come with me." He reminded me with a wink. I just nodded as I hugged a pillow to my chest. "Gabi," his voice was nearly a growl as I inhaled and gave him a smile. "I'm okay, I promise, I do miss you a lot though. When do you land?"
"Really, late Sunday night. I'll be crawling into bed with you. You okay getting Claire tomorrow?" I nodded my head as I curled up on my side. "Yea, I am. I love you. Go finish working so you can come home."
"I love you," he whispered. "You are also collectively breaking my heart though, like, break my contract and come home right now." He ran his hands through his hair, and I heard somebody chirping at him from behind about touching his hair. He rolled his eyes, and I took a deep breath and gave him a smile. "I am okay. I will cuddle right up with you the moment you get home. Stop touching your hair." I told him and he gave me a smile. "I love you, call me if you need anything okay?" I nodded as I hung up and I finished editing the video.
I watched it a few more times before I hit send.
It was now or never.
Sunday, July 24th, 2022
Troy's POV
I stared at the video as it played a few times as it had blown up overnight.
Blown.
Up.
I spent all day fielding questions from different people on set and I couldn't wait to get on my flight home. I nursed a whiskey as we were mid-air. I looked to see that we were about thirty minutes from landing. I was exhausted from this weekend, I missed both of my girls, and I really missed Gabi. My phone had blown up with encouragement and shock from a few people that I didn't tell them yet. There was one that was bugging me from Eve asking if I truly had some sort of male infertility.
I figured she wouldn't say a damn thing because it proves she was never on birth control or Claire was a true fucking miracle. I could see the sadness in her eyes in the video and I was going to have to wake her up. I needed to touch her and kiss her and make sure she was okay. Fuck, I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I wasn't prepared for her emotions to cause me distress. I knew it was all new and that probably made it worse and soon she would just be in the thick of it.
"Mr. Bolton, we'll be landing, soon." I nodded my head as I buckled my seat belt and went over my schedule next week. I had training camp every day and workouts and playing catch with receivers this week. Gabi had that scope that she was going under for on Tuesday which also caused extreme distress for me. Claire was going back to Eve's Tuesday morning, and I would just get her Saturday this week for the extra day I was due. The plane landed and I thanked the crew and the captains as I stepped off on the deserted airway. It was well after 1 in the morning as I found my car. I slipped inside and I let my head rest against the steering wheel. I knew Claire was going to be jumping into my bed in less than six hours. I had to be at the facility at 10.
Luckily, any more shoots would be coming to me as I couldn't go to LA any more before the season started. I started my car and headed home as Gabi, and I had barely had a conversation since the one on the couch where she was crying.
She just told me how many views her video had earlier today and how much support and how many women were thrilled that she was talking about our journey. I tried to find somebody who was famous going through this process and I couldn't. She was right. People needed to hear that it could happen to anybody. The drive was exhausting and when I pulled into the house the front porch light was on and I smiled knowing that Gabi left it on for me. I pulled into the garage. I slipped out of the car, and I quietly went inside as Ember would probably be in Claire's room sleeping with her.
I toed off my shoes and I walked down the hall, and I opened our bedroom door. Gabi was resting on her side with her hair tied up on the top of her head. Her phone was on the charger next to her, and I could see the IVF notebook that they gave us of everything to come on the nightstand with a highlighter. I leaned in the doorway, and I stared at her as my chest stirred with discomfort. Fuck, I hated this for her, for us. Reaching back, I pulled my t-shirt off and kicked off my sweatpants as I crawled into bed next to her.
My hands reached for her as I pulled her into my body, and I pressed my lips against her neck gently as she shifted. "Troy?" her voice was sleepy. "It's me," I whispered back to her. She twisted around to face me, and her brown eyes were full of sleep. "How was your flight?" she asked, and I reached up to rub my thumb over her jaw. "It was long," I told her honestly and she let her eyes close while pressing her face into my chest. "I missed the fuck out of you all weekend." I murmured into her hair, and she just wrapped her body around mine.
"Claire kept asking to call you all night. She had a break down at bedtime because she wanted to talk to you." I closed my eyes as I sighed heavily. "I missed the fuck out of her, too. Eve text me and asked if I had male infertility. I haven't texted her back it. It's going to bring up a not-so-fun conversation between the two of us." Her lips pressed to my chest, and I ran my hands down her back and up the back of my t-shirt. "Are you okay?" I whispered quietly as neither of us spoke for a few moments.
"I'm okay, Troy. I promise. Reading all the comments and watching other people's videos today gave me a lot of hope." Her head tilted back to look at me and I cupped her face with my free hand. "You broke my heart last night." Gabi gave a smile, and she reached up to let her lips brush against mine. "I know, I'm sorry. I think there will be plenty of emotions through all of this." I captured her mouth with mine as I deepened the kiss because I needed her. I needed her in a way that I couldn't describe.
"I need you," I breathed against her ear as I brushed my lips down her neck and she gasped. "I need you in the deepest way, El." She rolled me onto my back as she let her hands run down my chest and abdomen. "You act as if I don't need you," she smiled, and I grabbed her hips as I let our mouths lock together in a fierce kiss. "I hate waking you up but this weekend, without you, after the week we had. I hated every minute of it." She brushed her fingers through my hair as we were on a fast collision course. My hands ran down her shirt and I quickly realized that she had no underwear or pants on.
"Did you think you were getting lucky when I got home?" I asked between kisses. "I was hopeful," she said with a wink as she worked my briefs off and palmed me. "Fuck, Gabs," I arched into her, but this isn't how I wanted her. I flipped her onto her back, and she lost my shirt as I easily slid into her, and she moaned as I went slow and easy as I spent more time kissing her and working her up to draw back. "Troy, I swear to God," she cried out and I kissed her harder and used my fingers as she combusted with one move. "I love you," I murmured as I kept my shit together the entire time, she came around me.
"I love you," she whispered back as she looked at me with those brown eyes. Our fingers intertwined and my mouth took hers as I came inside of her. Her fingers holding me closer to her as I slowed down and stopped as I didn't pull out of her as I just held her against me. My body intertwined with hers and I pressed my lips into her shoulder as I just breathed her in. "You must have really missed me," she whispered, and I could only nod my head into her shoulder. "I did. I really did." I whispered.
Monday, July 25th, 2022
Gabi's POV
"Gabi, I want to go see daddy!" she stomped her foot on the ground and was in near hysterics again, but Troy was exhausted last night, and he didn't go to bed until late. I could feel him flipping and flopping for a while after we untwined our bodies. He didn't settle in until her wrapped his body around mine. I wanted to ask what was bothering him, but I needed him to get some rest. I woke up before Claire and I made sure she left him alone. He had to be at the stadium soon for a work-out.
"Let's finish breakfast for dad and then we can take him coffee and his breakfast to eat in bed. He got in late last night, Claire. He needs some sleep." I brushed my fingers over her hair, and she let a few tears slip down her face. I planted her on the counter. "He was very tired; you know he lets you sleep when you are tired? You need to let your daddy sleep." Claire just nodded and I gave her a hug as we made Troy his normal breakfast as we walked to our room together and she pushed the door open before launching on the bed.
"DADDY!" Troy stirred and grunted as she landed on his body, and he wrapped her up around his body as she curled into him. "Hi baby girl," he murmured, and she giggled. "Don't wake up, Gabs," Troy whispered as Claire just let out a giggle. "Daddy, Gabi and I have been up for like four hours." Those blue eyes shot open, and he was palming for his cell phone. "You have an hour and half." I said and those blue eyes flew to mine. "It hasn't been four hours. Just two since we both got up." I went in as I sat the coffee and oatmeal on the nightstand.
"Gabi made me wait to come see you because she said you were tired," Troy huffed a laugh, and he kissed her forehead. "I was tired. I had a long weekend. This is the best way to wake up." He reached his other arm out and hooked it around my waist and he pulled me into bed. I laughed as I hit the bed as he protected Claire from my fall, and I landed on the other side. He reached in and scooped me closer to his body. "Both of my favorite girls," he mumbled. Claire giggled as she wiggled between the two of us and she kissed his cheek. "Oh, I needed that." Troy smiled at Claire as she smiled right back at him. Her little hands pressed against his cheeks, and he kissed her forehead. "I love you, daddy."
Troy closed his eyes, and he pressed his forehead against her tiny one, "I love you more," he whispered back to her, and I could hear the emotion clog his throat. I reached over to let my hand rub his arm as he opened his eyes to look right at me. The tears hidden behind them made my own chest constrict as Ember came bouncing on the bed. "Hey, Claire, can you go let Ember out? Daddy and I will be down in a few minutes." Claire just nodded and hollered for Ember to follow. Troy rubbed his face and I crawled into his arms. "What's wrong?" I whispered.
"I just…fuck, the thought that maybe we won't get one of those, more so you, that you won't get a little person to come up to you and put both hands on your cheeks and tell you how much they love their mommy? It tears me up inside and I think that's the hard part about this whole situation. I want you to get those experiences, El. I want this life for you." I wrapped my body around his and I snuggled into him. "Troy, we will get these moments. It might just take time and I love how much you want this for me. We will get it and it may not always be like we want it to be, but we will get our family."
"There is just so much love for that little girl and I know you love her, too but it has to be different."
"It is," I told him. "It is different but Troy, I love you and we are going to get our family in whatever way we can get it. I didn't think this was bothering you this much." I whispered to him. He brushed his fingers through my hair, "I don't think it did until I saw it in your face that we were going down a long-winded road and that we aren't guaranteed anything."
"And we weren't guaranteed to get back together, and we weren't guaranteed to ever have kids, or we weren't guaranteed that you were going to win the super bowl last year, but we work hard to see if we can get what we want. We just have to work harder, and I promise, I will tell you when I am feeling all the emotions, but I need you to do it as well." I rubbed his back and Troy pinned me back to the bed and he dropped his mouth to mine in a needy kiss. "As long as you promise," he whispered.
"With everything," our eyes connected, and Troy nodded, "With everything, El. I love your thoughts around this, and I love how open you are willing to be. I just need to make sure you are taking care of you." I nodded my head, "I am. I felt so much better once I posted that." He tucked a hair behind my ear, and he nodded, "Okay," he kissed me again and he rolled onto his back. "Coffee and oatmeal are over there but that oatmeal probably isn't good anymore." Troy chuckled as he reached for the coffee. "Thank you for letting me sleep,"
"You got home late and tossed and turned for a while," he grimaced and nodded, "just a lot on my mind." I gave him a smile and I squeezed his hand. We were in this together. "Hey," he turned to look at me and I smiled, "We are going to have a baby together and we are going to get through this together." He exhaled and gave me a smile, "I do love you so fucking much. I couldn't imagine doing this with anybody else. I think it was just the sadness on your face when we facetimed that gutted me, and I needed to know you were okay and I wasn't going to know that until I had you right here."
I snuggled into his side as Troy drank his coffee and it wasn't long before Ember and Claire were stomping back down the hallway. "I thought you were coming?" Claire asked with her hands on her hips. Troy chuckled as he patted the bed. "I'm finishing my coffee in bed. Get up here." Claire grinned before bouncing on the bed as she plopped down on Troy's lap. "Do you have to go to work today?" Claire whined and I chuckled, "Yea, I do but I think you can come with me if you want. I shouldn't be there that long today. We're just throwing and what not," Troy told her. Claire thought about it for a few moments. "Nah, I'll stay with Gabi and Ember."
Troy looked over at me and I nodded, "It's fine. We are just going to go grab groceries and come home. Maybe we can clean up the pool out back." Claire clapped her hands and Troy squeezed my hip. "Claire, I know we didn't get a lot of time together this time, but you are going back to mommy's tomorrow morning. Gabi has a few doctors' appointments tomorrow and daddy will be with her all day and then I have practice early on Wednesday." Claire's face fell and I reached over to tell Troy I could somebody else take me but the look I received before I could speak told me that wasn't the thing to say.
"But Daddy, I never even got to see you." He put his coffee cup down and pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back. "I know, Claire, but I will see you Saturday. I am going to get you Saturday and you'll spend all the way till Thursday with me." Claire hugged him around the neck. "Can I go with you to Gabi's appointments?" Troy shook his head. "No, I'm sorry baby." Claire pouted and I reached out. "Maybe on Thursday we can all get together for dinner."
"Really?" Gabi nodded her head and Troy smiled, "I'll talk to mommy, okay?" Claire nodded as Troy kissed her temple. "Okay, daddy does have to get up." Claire and I both shared a smile before we were tickling Troy causing him to squeal at the attack causing all of us to laugh with him.
Tuesday, July 26th, 2022
Troy's POV
"Daddy, but why can't I go with you?" Claire leaned into my body as I walked her to Eve's apartment door. Gabi was downstairs in the car as we were just going straight to the hospital from here. I was so nervous for her, and she acted as if it was another day. She had been busy vlogging all of it and you know maybe this would prove to be the distraction she needs. "Because baby, it's going to be a long day for Gabi and daddy. You will have way more fun here." I knocked on the door and I heard Jackson squeal in the background.
No wonder he wasn't my kid.
The thought still stung as the door swung open, "Hi sweet girl," Eve hugged Claire and she sighed, "Somebody isn't happy that she can't go with me today." I said and Eve laughed, "Sweetie, you don't want to spend all day at the doctor's office and daddy has practice tomorrow. We will do something fun today and you'll see dad on Thursday for dinner." Claire sighed and I kissed the top of her head. "Be good for your mom. I promise, next Tuesday we'll do something fun, yea?"
She nodded as she hugged me, and Jackson was throwing himself at Claire. Claire laughed as she chased him. "Thanks for taking Claire a day early," I told her as I dropped her backpack on the counter. "I'm sorry about everything going on with you and Gabi." I just nodded my head, "It's okay. She's in good spirits and we're going to do everything we can." My eyes connected with her eyes, and I just let out a half laugh. "I just find it funny as I get interrogated asking if she is my daughter because the odds of me ever having a kid naturally are so slim."
Eve turned her head away from me and she shook her head, "She is yours."
"I know she is, Eve. We've done plenty of genetic testing to know but that doesn't hide from the fact that you lied to me in college repeatedly that you were on birth control because there is no way it was just a one-night thing." Eve just stared at me, and I just stared back. "Good fucking thing that I love that little girl like nothing else and I wouldn't change a damn thing, but you trapped me back in college because you knew. You knew I was going to be this in the NFL with the money and the title and that is just…" I just exhaled with a shake of my head. "It's disgusting and I'm glad I didn't find this out until now."
"You knew," she threw back to me. "I had suspicions, but it's been really confirmed now and there isn't a way for you to lie. Did you do it with Christian, too?" I threw back at her as I could feel the anger simmer underneath of my skin. "I did think that was your baby," she shot back at me. "Clearly it would never have been." I swallowed on the hate that was forming on my tongue as it had been a while that I was this mad at her. "I want to make one thing clear to you Eve, I love that little girl more than life itself so don't get this twisted that I don't want her. What I want to make clear is that you lied to me throughout our entire relationship and it's disgusting. I pray to God our daughter doesn't realize everything you did to me in our relationship."
"Don't act innocent." She said as I moved from the door. "You never gave yourself to me."
"Because I wasn't ever supposed to have you, Eve." I hissed. "So many people came between Gabi and I getting back together throughout the years, and this is just another one. You are the one who continued to pursue me. I broke up with you countless times and you always were coming back and then oh guess what, I'm pregnant and you knew that I would never not be there for you." Eve had tears in her eyes because it wasn't a secret that we were never a solid couple before Claire.
Certainly not after either.
"I'll see you Thursday." I told her as I began to open the door and Eve started to protest but I turned around to face her before I left. "No. We aren't changing how we act together because you feel ashamed and dirty right now. We are going to have dinner together with our daughter and maybe one day you can own up to everything you've done. Now, I am going to watch my wife get wheeled back into surgery and pray to God that there aren't more problems preventing us from having our own family. My emotions are stretched thin today."
Eve finally just nodded, and I headed out as I felt the panic raise in my chest, and I inhaled and exhaled deeply. Lucas promised he would come sit with me after I called him last night. I didn't want to be there alone. I made it back downstairs and Gabi was scrolling on her phone as I slipped into the car. She was in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. "What took so long? Did Claire not want to let go?" I shook my head as I was afraid if I opened my mouth, I would lose my shit. "Troy," her voice made me look at her. "Just got into it with, Eve. That's it." I put the car into drive and Gabi let her hand fall onto mine.
"Troy,"
"No, it's okay. I don't know why it bothers me so much because I have Claire who is everything to me and I am so mad at her though for lying to me for years. No wonder she kept coming back to me over the years because she couldn't fall pregnant with my baby." Gabi exhaled and I closed my eyes as I put the car back into park. "Troy," her voice was just above a whisper, and I covered my face with my hands as I rubbed them for a moment as I tried to get the overwhelming emotion to get off my chest, but it didn't happen.
"Now, I want to have a baby with a woman who I love so fiercely, and we can't just have it happen. It's not fair. It's not fair that she was able to trap me into a pregnancy and it's not fair that we can't get pregnant and it's not fair to Claire that all of this is happening, and she is going to find out one day." I felt my car door open, and she was wedging herself into my arms. "Troy, she will have to live with the fact that you know for the rest of her life. That is her problem. You stepped up, you became the best dad, and you did what you had to do. Yea, it was against your knowledge what she was doing but it happened and it's over. Yea, I know I wish we could have babies the fun way, but we can't. This is our journey. I am so glad you have Claire because she is the light you need in your life."
The ache in my chest faded slowly with her words and I looked at her as if she was a mythical creature. Those brown eyes were right on me as she reached up and pressed both of her hands on my face to let me focus on her. "I love you and I know finding out about your own infertility wrecked a lot of emotions within you and with everything in the past, but would you change anything?" I hesitated and she shook her head, "Let's pretend I still wouldn't have come into your life until I came back into your life."
"No, I wouldn't." I told her and she squished my cheeks and let her forehead press against mine. "Then it doesn't matter. I know that you were lied to and betrayed – especially when you thought you were having protected sex, but you could have worn a condom, yea? This isn't just on her. You trusted her and she betrayed your trust." I closed my eyes, and I exhaled heavily as she threaded her fingers through my hair. "You two got divorced for several reasons and you have the world's most beautiful daughter. Your feelings are valid, and you can be mad at her, but it doesn't change anything."
Her thumb brushed away my tears that I had shed, and I just wrapped her up in my body. "I couldn't do this without you," I murmured. "I couldn't do this part of my life without you. Thank you." She rubbed my back and kissed my cheek before I brought her mouth to mine. "I love you,"
I picked at the calluses on my hand as I was exhausted from earlier today and now waiting for Gabi. My anxiety was pushing the brick of what I could handle. "Are you doing, okay?" Lucas plopped down next to me and handed me a water that he went to grab. "You look like you are about to lose your shit." I just looked up at him with a sigh, "I confronted Eve about how she lied to me about being on birth control in college. That she trapped me with Claire and that's why she always kept coming back even when I broke up with her."
"Yea, fuck, I'm sorry. I wondered what that was going to bring from everything." I just nodded as I exhaled, "It's a weird sense of emotions because I love Claire, I wouldn't change anything, but at the same time I feel disrespected and used because she knew I was going to be famous. I haven't been this mad at her since I found out Jackson wasn't my kid."
"I'm sorry, man. Eve was a whole lot of drama for you." I laughed with a nod, "That she was. Especially since Gabi is such low drama. Fuck, she's sharing this entire thing with the world, and she was the one calming me down today when I was freaking out." Lucas rubbed my shoulder, "I'm assuming your wife having surgery doesn't help any of that." I growled with the discomfort of having her away from me. The surgery was only supposed to be about 45 minutes. They were doing two different procedures to just put her under once to make sure that everything looked good.
They said she would be in some discomfort over the next couple of days but should be back to normal by next week. "Look, I think as much as you want to be mad at Eve about all of this. You knew deep down. We all did. You made a lot of good decisions and dumb decisions with Eve, but you've only ever made good ones for Claire. It's over and you can't go back. Be mad at her and tell her what you think but let it go after that. You two are such good co-parents and you shouldn't stop because of this founding information that you already knew deep down."
"You should focus on this journey with Gabi to have a baby that you both consented for and want. I know this whole thing caught you by surprise and you just found out about this journey that you are both embarking on but as your brother, agent, and lawyer – this is going to be a journey for both of you. It will test both of you and I hate that either of you have to go through it but guess what? This baby is made from absolute love regardless of how the baby is made – yea?"
I exhaled and nodded my head, "Yea, you're right."
"Damn straight, I am always right." I rolled my eyes at Lucas, and he chuckled slapping my back. The doors opened and I looked up to see Dr. Monty. "Troy, c'mon back." I gave a nod to Lucas that he was good to go but he didn't move, and it made me feel better. I made it past the door and Dr. Monty gave a smile, "She did great, and everything looked perfect. We made sure there was no signs of endometriosis and there wasn't anything like that. The only thing we found is what we expected to find – cysts all over her ovaries but besides that her uterus looks great and a baby will love the environment," she told me with a smile as I felt myself relax for the first time today.
"She is waking up and asking for you," she took me back and I thanked her as she walked away as a nurse was sitting by Gabi as she was curled up and sleeping. My eyes flickered up to her vital signs and the nurse smiled, "Mr. Bolton, she just fell back asleep. We gave her a bit more pain meds as her abdomen is bothering her." I nodded as I sat down by her bed, and I let my hand reach for her hand. I let our fingers interlock together as seeing her made everything feel better.
She stirred with my touch, and I let my hand brush her hair away from her face. "Troy? Is Troy back here?"
"Hey," my voice was quiet, and she turned to look at me and I could see her own relief on her face. "I'm right here. You just rest, okay?" Gabi just nodded. "What did she say?" she asked me as she tried to keep her eyes open, but she was still sleepy. "She told me that a baby is going to love growing in there," Gabi smiled, and tears slipped down her face as I reached up to wipe them away. "Shh…this was all good news." I told her and she squeezed my hand. She fell back asleep as they gave her time to wake back up from her procedure.
The nurse went over discharge instructions, and I nodded following everything she said and that she was getting some drugs post-op that they would send to our pharmacy. "Gabi are you ready to get dressed?" she had nibbled on crackers and drank some water. We helped her sit up and she whimpered, "Shh…" I whispered as I kissed the top of her head. "Let's get you changed and home," I told her as I rubbed her back. She exhaled but nodded as I helped her back into a bra and t-shirt as we slipped on her shorts.
Gabi rested as I put on her socks and sneakers. "We can give her another minute before we put her in the wheelchair. Do you want to get the car and meet us around front?" I nodded my head as I reached for her and kissed her head. "I'll see you in the car, okay? No causing trouble." She gave a faint smile as I jogged down to the car, and I pulled it up to the door she said. I shot a text to her family and my family that everything went really well, and she was being discharged.
It wasn't long before Gabi was being wheeled out and she laughed at something her nurse said. I got out and opened her door as I helped pull her up and she let her body fall into mine. I just chuckled as I wrapped her up in a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. I got her inside the car and buckled in. She fell back asleep, and I just held her hand the entire way home. Once we pulled in, I noticed Lucas was here and I was thankful as he must be messing with Ember. I easily got her out of the car and into my arms as the door swung open. "Thanks," I said.
"Can you go pick up her scripts from the pharmacy down the street?" he nodded as I tossed him my card and he headed out the door as I took her upstairs. I stripped the socks and shoes off as I tucked her into bed. She was curled up on her side quickly as I kissed her head. "You are so strong," I murmured against her temple, and she sighed in her sleep.
Gabi's POV
Troy was resting next to me as I had woken up in discomfort earlier today and he gave me pain meds and I went right back to sleep. I picked up my phone for the first time as yesterday I went and made a detail about our plan for this week, and I had thousands of messages of encouragement this morning. It was sometime in the middle of the night as I saw a message from Troy. I scrunched my eyebrows as I looked over at him and then I pressed on his name.
It was photos and videos from today.
My gut twisted and I couldn't stop the emotion as I looked through every photo and video. He documented the day, and I couldn't tell him how much that meant to me. I wasn't sure how he felt about the whole world knowing our business but seeing this? It helped me. It helped to know that he was supporting me. He may not want to sit in front of the camera and talk but he did this for me.
I paused on the last one as it was a video. I turned it down and it popped up with his face. "Hi everyone, Troy reporting, this is different getting on here and being vulnerable about life when it isn't easy. This whole process for Gabi and I have been a whirlwind and something neither of us expected but watching her connect with everybody here has been rewarding and fulfilling. I just wanted to let everybody know that her surgery went well today, and the doctors all agree that IVF is the way to go with her PCOS that everything looks great for a little babe to grow one day, soon. She is resting upstairs, and I can't wait to share this with all of you. Here's to Baby Bolton,"
The video ended as he had been sitting in our kitchen when he recorded it and my heart bled for him. He looked more relaxed than before my surgery today. I went to Instagram to see he had posted it to both of our accounts. I swallowed on the emotion as I gingerly rolled over and let my body rest against his. "Are you okay?" he questioned in his sleep, and I smiled. "Yea, I'm great. Thank you for the video," I whispered, and Troy locked our fingers together and hummed an answer.
"Seriously, thank you," I whispered, and he twisted onto his back to face me. "We're doing this together. Lucas said something smart today," I couldn't stop my laugh, but it caused a wince from me. "And he told me that I love Claire and she is amazing and was created under false intentions but our baby? This baby? Is being made from love regardless of how the baby is being made. It made me realize that if documenting this journey to be with other people around the world and to also show our child what we went through because that's how bad we wanted a baby together? Then yea, I want that. I want this. I want us. Again, this is no knock to Claire, but this takes commitment, love, and want to do all of this to build our family."
His blue eyes were clear and for the first time I think we were both on the same page for how this was going to unfold. "I love you,"
"I love you, too. Are you feeling, okay? Do you want any pain meds or anything?" I shook my head. "Nothing snuggling with you can't fix." Troy chuckled as he wrapped me up in his arms. "Get some rest, El." His lips pressed to my forehead, and I didn't disagree with him.
Happy Sunday! I am so glad you are all loving it! Can't wait to see your thoughts about all the test results! Woof!
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Next Update: June 4th
