Happy Monday everyone :) Another chapter is here.

I like the idea of the Anchor being tied to emotions as it gets stronger and Lara will have to learn how to control it before it does more damage. I believe it's tied to the person it is attached to.

Also NSFW towards the end of this chapter. I like making Cullen more complex but I definitely believe he has some intimacy issues of his own especially after what happened to him. Even though how he was tortured isn't given in full detail.

Thank you to everyone who has favourited, commented, bookmarked, all of it. It means the world to me! And to any American readers here, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving this week x

—-

Chapter 30:

"Shit!" Rylen cursed as he realized he fucked up again.

Lara had warned him about a trap but not what kind. He didn't know what to look out for but a warning of Red Templars seemed reasonable enough even if he couldn't fully identify the soldier. There had been so many new recruits in the recent months, it was easy to not notice someone. They needed a stronger recruitment process. Now they were swarmed by Red Templars and demons. The same demons that were bound to the Grey Wardens, the ones who had survived the binding process. He led Cullen into danger.

The Inquisitor was nowhere to be found. It was indeed just a set up. That same soldier who had warned them was also nowhere to be found, escaped amongst the chaos. If he saw his face again, he'd slash him with his sword in a second. Anger coursed through him as he deflected any blows or Red Templars coming his way. At the same time, he kept an eye out on Cullen. Thankfully, he seemed to manage fine, fighting his way through the enemies that continued to surround them. Rylen was worried how long his strength would last, painfully aware that the Commander was running on little sleep and too much exertion.

"Where is she?" He grunted to himself as he slashed another Red Templar across his neck, hoping he would bleed out.

He looked around but there was no girl with braided hair and green eyes to be found. He was hoping she would find them and turn up to save them. The thought that they could still be in the Temple angered him even more. Did she even have a way to get out of there? He noticed Cullen looking around when he had a moment. Most likely looking for her too. Rylen was at least thankful Iron Bull was with them, as he happily swung his ax, brutally slashing his way through his enemies. Rylen could have sworn he was actually getting off on it.

"Any sign?" Cullen asked desperately when he was near enough to Rylen.

"No!" Rylen yelled, annoyed. He knew he was referring to her.

Their men were thankfully managing so they weren't losing numbers but Rylen had a feeling there were more Red Templars than before. Their numbers weren't going down either. If they weren't careful or help didn't come soon, they might not make it. Their strength would only take them so far. He saw more Red Templars joining, which confirmed his suspicions. Internally, he knew this must have been Samson's doing. He would be behind this plot especially since he made it clear he was going after Cullen specifically. Rylen increased his speed trying to kill as many as he could. He was thankfully only covered with a few marks and possibly some bruising the next day. Everyone seemed intact until a shilling cry made the hairs on his body stand up. He turned after kicking down an enemy to see none other than Cullen gripping his side, blood spilling.

"Cullen!" he shouted, making his way over to him.

He nearly reached him until a scream stopped him in his tracks, magic overtaking the arena they found themselves in, stopping the battle around him. Almost like stopping time.

—-

In the tunnel, she heard a male's voice cry out. One that was eerily too familiar to her. One that pulled at her heart, fear gripping her.

No, no, no…

She chanted that word over and over in her head as the light from the end became brighter and brighter. She wished it was someone else and not the man she thought it was. She desperately wanted to be wrong. She wasn't.

Once they made it on the ledge, the same ledge where they first witnessed Corypheus, her eyes immediately found him. Kneeling on the floor, hands on his side, his blood spilling across the gold tiles just before the bridge. A Red Templar was upon him before Rylen could reach him, ready to strike. Fear gripped Lara and as an immediate reaction she screamed. This time it wasn't a wish. It left her body and at the same time, the Anchor ignited, spilling magic from it, surrounding the whole area in a sickly green hue, almost suspending time itself, stopping the Red Templar from striking him down.

Suddenly, another force was containing her, her full emotion not unleashing as it wanted to.

"Go! I can control it from here. Get the Commander," A voice sounded from behind her. It was Solas.

Dorian and Blackwall soon came into view as they descended down to help fight. Solas's magic intertwined with hers, controlling her outburst, focusing her magic on where it was needed. She kept her eyes on Cullen the whole time who looked as if he was barely holding on. He struggled, but his eyes eventually found her. If the magic emanating from her terrified him, he didn't show it. Dorian was soon at Cullen's side healing him as best he could until a healer could tend to him. Blackwall and Bull worked in unison by cutting down any Red Templars nearby, particularly the one who tried to take his chance at ending Cullen's life. Cullen had passed out, either from exhaustion, pain, or blood loss or all three. Rylen and two other Inquisition soldiers carried him to safety, ascending the stairs and running past where Lara stood into the tunnel.

Relief washed over her, subsiding her earlier emotions. He was safe. He would be taken care of. Her focus was now removing their enemies, her Rift magic. Solas's control subsided once he sensed her outburst lessened. Lara still felt like she was choking, another tear sliding down her cheek. Reality set in at the fact that she had acted upon her impulse to scream and had set her magic ablaze. Magic uncontained like that could be harmful and she was sure Solas would scold her for being so careless. To make matters worse, she had released it in front of Cullen. Rylen. Ex-templars. A silencing from them never happened. A scolding from Solas never came. Instead he rested a hand on her shoulder and they continued down to clear the area of their enemies.

—-

Lara rushed to the main camp where they had first settled before they made their way into the Wilds. Cullen was taken there to be healed as he required more healing than what the makeshift camp outside the Temple could provide. She was grateful Bull was alright, for Dorian's sake. He was more worried about him than he let on. Bull only laughed at him much to Dorian's annoyance. Lara had hoped for the same outcome.

A mage healer stopped her in her tracks.

"Inquisitor, we are not ready yet," The healer spoke calmly, holding her hand out.

"How grave is his injury?" Solas asked.

"He has lost a lot of blood. The wound is deep but he will survive," The healer explained.

Lara let out a shaky sigh, covering her face. She did not want to cry in front of everyone.

"Is he awake?" Dorian now appeared behind them.

"No, he is still unconscious. He needs his rest. When he is awake, we will call for you," The healer continued.

As the healer re-entered the tent, Lara turned to leave. She was ready to turn in for the day. For the week. For the month. She was only stalling time with Corypheus. He was still among them, no doubt devising another plan to enter the Fade, but there was no way or end in sight on how to defeat an ancient Tevinter Magister turned darkspawn. He was immortal. She had seen that for herself. Hell, Morrigan as a witch saw it for herself and deemed it impossible. What hope did she have? She could not play this game forever.

"Lar...Inquisitor!" Rylen called after her, catching himself.

"Lara is fine," She answered.

"Cullen would have my neck if he heard me call you that in public. I'm so fucking sorry lass…" He trailed off, his voice cracking.

"It's not your fault," She responded, her voice wavering.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry…

Rylen surprisingly pulled her into a hug, no doubt feeling guilty for having let his Commander be injured while on duty. For willingly falling into a trap. Lara scrunched her face tight to stop the tears from falling. She was too weak from exhaustion and her controls were staggering. Her arm was in so much pain from her outburst, sharp and hot.

"It's not your fault," She whispered again.

—-

"Lethallan, a moment," Solas called from outside her tent.

Lara had the luxury of taking a bath and changing into clean clothes. She welcomed the hot water and Orlesian bath products Empress Celene had provided. It was more than she deserved. She wore her usual boots and tight trousers with a sleeveless top with thick straps that hugged her body. The embellishments on it were beautiful and intricate. She stepped out into the evening, Solas stood there waiting for her.

"Of course," She answered.

"Somewhere private," He walked off.

She knew Solas did not like people listening in. He preferred private conversations for only her ears. Lara had believed it to be a matter of trust but after the events in the Temple, she couldn't shrug off the feeling that he was full of mysteries, full of so much unknown that he feared to be discovered. For someone who feared dying alone, he always ensured he was alone. When they reached a private clearing in the Wilds, Solas spoke.

"Apologies, I underestimated your capabilities," He started.

"You're not scolding me?" She asked, confused.

He chuckled.

"I'm not sure why Varric says you're so serious. You laugh just fine," Lara commented.

"Only because you witness it," He answered.

Lara was silent. She wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"It is a capability you have that we cannot ignore. You can use it to your greatest potential but can be dangerous if unmanaged. How is your arm?" Solas continued.

"How did you know?" She responded while holding her arm in reaction.

"Uncontrolled outbursts like that will worsen your arm. When you are in control, you'll minimize the damage," Solas answered.

He walked over to her, gently holding her arm in his hands. His skinny fingers wrapped around her arm, studying it, examining her hand. Lara winced at the touch, her arm burning with pain. She studied his expressions trying to make something out, trying to discover his secrets. If she looked long enough, perhaps an answer might spring to mind. None came. His eyes locked with hers, catching her in the act.

"Fen'Harel. Who is he to Mythal?" The question was out before she could stop it.

No reaction.

"It is no surprise you have many questions. I cannot answer all of them," Solas responded.

"Can't or won't? Because I'm a shemlen?" She pushed on.

"It is more complicated than that," He looked away, letting go of her arm.

"A trip to the Fade instead?" Lara asked, not sure what she was hoping to find.

Solas nodded as he sat down. He didn't seem so sure but he didn't resist. Lara sat across from him, still studying him. She felt like she was entering uneasy territory but maybe there was something she could find. She closed her eyes, sleep coming easy to her after previous events, and let Solas guide her once she was there. Somehow she still trusted him.

—-

The Fade brings up a fear in her she thought she relinquished. It brings up different fears that she herself has not come to terms with. It taunts her with Cullen. She doesn't hide from Solas, he already knows her place with him. Cullen abandons her.

He too will realize you're nothing but a mistake.

She winces at the words, a sharp pain running through her. She will never escape it. Her title as mistake follows her like Dread Wolf follows Fen'Harel. The Black City lays in front of her, enticing her. She walks towards it wanting to see what lies inside. Opening may unleash chaos but isn't it where the Old Gods lay? Where they were locked away by the Dread Wolf? This is where Corypheus wanted to be, the Black City. A force stops her. Solas. She turns to him confused.

"I cannot let you," He says defiantly.

Before she can speak, the Nightmare demon speaks from its hiding place.

Dirth ma, harellan. Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din.

Lara recognises those words. The same words that echoed when they were physically through the Fade. The spirits that lingered looked upon them at the words.

"Harellan?" She whispered. It was one word she picked up.

Solas glared at her words and with another force her body was pushed away out of the Fade, it closing behind her as she fell. She screamed but nothing happened until she woke up violently.

—-

"Maker, you alright lass?" Rylen spoke as he hovered over her.

"What?" She looked around disoriented.

"You were thrashing around in your sleep, screaming something the scouts couldn't make out," He answered.

Suddenly realizing she was in a tent, she scrambled out of bed.

Where's Solas? I was with him. What happened? Why can't I remember?

"Why am I here?" She asked Rylen.

"You were sleeping?" Rylen answered with a question.

"No, I was with Solas, we were in the Wilds. We went into the Fade. How did I get here?" She looked around frantically trying to find answers.

"I dunno, lass. I came because the scouts reported you screaming," Rylen answered.

With a sigh she sat back on the bed, holding her head. She didn't remember a single thing which was unlike their usual encounters in the Fade. She needed to find him but Rylen's next words deterred her.

"I also came to tell you that Cullen is in his own tent. He awoke and refused to stay in the healers tent but passed out again. The healers are caring for him there. He also called out for you when he woke. He might be awake if you want to check on him," Rylen nodded and left.

—-

To no surprise, Cullen's tent was heavily guarded. There were too many attempts at Cullen, all constructed by Samson. Even though Samson was now captured and imprisoned, it was hard to tell if there were a few more tricks up his sleeve. The guards nodded as she approached, allowing her entrance. A sudden shyness took over as she lowered her gaze. Despite the suspicions that there was something between them, it still felt odd. Forbidden almost.

Cullen was sound asleep. His golden hair tousled around his face, evident of the harsh few days he had. The lines in his face were more visible, his eyes sunken. Lara hoped it was from lack of sleep and not withdrawals. Thankfully, red lyrium wasn't present here as it was in the Emprise. She brushed her fingers along his face, tracing the lines, feeling grateful for this moment. Grateful that she had the chance to see and touch him one more time. A sigh left his lips at her touch.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

She lifted the blanket only to find him wearing his tunic and underwear. Her cheeks flushed at the sight and she bit her lip. She lifted his tunic to examine his wound, to see what damage had been done to him. She was met with layers of bandages wrapped around his entire torso. Her fingers gently traced where his wound would be and tears pricked at her eyes. She looked away only to catch sight of his previous bandages in a basin, soaked with blood. They must have recently changed them. He wasn't in the clear yet.

She searched for a spare tunic of his and immediately changed into it when she found one. She climbed into bed beside him on his opposite side, careful not to hurt him. His warmth and scent greeted her and she released herself to it, letting it comfort her. Her head rested on his chest, her legs intertwining with his. Even in his sleep, he recognized her. He wrapped his arm around her, bringing her closer to him. She didn't have any dreams that night but it didn't matter. All that mattered is that she had another moment with him. If he didn't make it, if this was their last, then she would much rather be in his arms.

—-

Her heart raced as she woke up in an empty bed. She was still in Cullen's tent but his belongings weren't there. Fear gripped her as she jumped out of bed and changed into her clothes that were still discarded on the floor. Entering the Wilds, she looked around and had found they were less in numbers.

"Your dashing Commander isn't here, my dear. Bull had to retrieve him when they found you in his bed," Dorian chuckled.

"Where did they take him? He isn't…" Lara started, her eyes wide.

"Maker, you're a downer this morning. He's still alive, but the injured have been moved back to Skyhold along with some of our men. This is where I pray you'll say we're going back too. I yearn for civilization," Dorian sighed.

Lara let out a laugh that oddly felt cathartic after previous events.

"As beautiful as this place is, I do miss Skyhold," She smiled at him.

"Excellent! You'll find I'm already packed. Please don't keep me waiting any longer," Dorian answered.

Lara rolled her eyes and made her way back to her tent. Thankfully, she didn't have many items to pack and made haste. As much as she wished she could stay in the Wilds, she needed to know Cullen was okay. Did he wake up or did Bull only carry his body? How was his wound faring? How deep was it? So many questions that she didn't have answers to and she desperately needed them. There was also the pressing issue of Samson and his judgment. Lara had no idea where to begin in handling Samson or what outcome was best suited for him. Death would be too easy. He didn't deserve the easy way out.

Exiting her tent she found two scouts waiting outside. They nodded and went past her gathering her luggage. Solas, Blackwall, Bull, and Morrigan awaited her, already packed for the journey. It seemed everyone was desperate to leave, each for their own reason. The only common factor they had was that Skyhold was their safety, their home.

—-

Sleep was not common on the journey back to Skyhold. She desperately couldn't wait to return. When she reached her quarters, her body slipped into a deep sleep she wasn't prepared for. So many plans she had in mind postponed as she slept a dreamless sleep.

She woke up in a frenzy the next day late morning. She hadn't slept this late in ages nor had she had so many dreamless sleeps. It was better than the nightmares that became too much to handle but she couldn't help but notice that she stopped dreaming after she visited the Fade with Solas. It almost seemed like he took her dreams away. Could he do that?

Don't be so ridiculous.

She decided on a bath before getting ready for the day. Her first visit was Solas before seeing Dorian. The elf was lost in his books, not noticing Lara's entrance.

"Solas?" Lara greeted him.

"Glad to see you're well. How was your sleep?" He smiled at her.

"How did you know?" She hesitated.

"No one knew where you went. Panic erupted until you were found in your quarters fast asleep," He explained.

"Oh," She replied sheepishly. "About that, what happened when we went into the Fade? I didn't remember a thing. I woke up in my own tent but we were in the Wilds?"

"You were in a deep slumber. I wasn't able to locate you in the Fade. Instead, I carried you to your tent so you could sleep," The elf answered.

Something still wasn't adding up. Solas was an expert in the Fade. He managed to unlock places, history, people, and spirits in the Fade. How could he not locate her?

"Why haven't I been dreaming since then?" She continued after a moment.

"Exhaustion plays a part. Perhaps you are dreaming but are simply too exhausted to recognize them," Solas explained.

Before she could respond, footsteps echoed in Solas's rotunda. She eyed Solas curiously. He seemed his composed usual self but that same shiver was running down her spine. There was something else, something she was missing completely. Doubt creeped in simultaneously that she might be making something out of nothing.

"Ah! I thought it was you," Dorian's voice echoed once he appeared.

"You went down the stairs?" Lara asked in mock surprise. "The world must have been swallowed whole."

"Note it was only for you that I would make such an effort," Dorian narrowed his eyes.

"I'm sure you would for a certain Bull as well," Lara winked at him.

"Now that you two are rekindled, can you please escort him back upstairs?" Solas asked without looking up from his book.

Dorian sighed, "One day you'll admit you actually like me," He spoke heading up the stairs.

Lara could have sworn she heard Solas snort as she followed Dorian upstairs.

—-

"That's a lot of research…" Lara commented as she eyed the numerous books laid scattered in front of Dorian's chair.

"That elven temple really has me thinking I should go back at some point, shouldn't I? To Tevinter. If we're still alive, that is, after this is all done," Dorian spoke.

Lara turned in surprise. Words she never thought would come out of Dorian's mouth now flew out. His words were heavy with emotion. He was now discovering his purpose, his mission. It made Lara realize that once the Inquisition was over, she had nothing. No home, no purpose after this. There wasn't anything else for her.

"All my talk of how terribly wrong things are back home and what do I do about it? Nothing," he continued, shaking his head.

"How does it relate to the Temple of Mythal?" Lara asked.

"That elf, Abelas. He said the Emperium wasn't what destroyed the elves. My people would never accept that. It would reduce us to scavengers. But we should accept it even if it may drop our history down a peg. Maybe not everyone will want to, but if you can change minds, then why can't I?" Dorian shrugged.

"You're not doing nothing, Dorian. You're here fighting with us. You're part of a rehabilitation center to help Templars release their leash from the Order. You're making history," Lara answered, placing a hand on his arm.

Dorian covered her hand with his, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Thank you. I want to do more than just stop Corypheus. I want to save my home. It might surprise you to know that you are the one who inspired me," He replied with a smirk.

"Me?" Lara asked in surprise.

"You're shaping the world. How can I aspire to do less? If there is a chance for Tevinter to be better, that there is hope for my homeland? I would do anything," He replied, full of disappointment.

"Then you have my support but I need you here first," Lara smiled.

"You think I would leave that easily? You can't get rid of me that fast," Dorian winked.

Lara laughed as Dorian pulled her in for a hug that she didn't know she needed. Dorian had truly been a friend to her right from the very beginning. It was effortless between them and for once, Lara was confident enough to call someone a best friend. Something she never really had. She thought she did in the Circle but really it came down to an alliance based on survival. To survive the Circle together, to look out for one another. What she had with Dorian was a much deeper connection.

"You may even be surprised to know that the elf and I had a civilized conversation. I understand now why he isn't so fond of elves, being an elf himself. His own people destroyed themselves," Dorian grinned through her hair.

She pulled away to look at him. "You two survived?"

"I'm still intact, aren't I? Who thought that a Temple would bring us together," Dorian smirked.

Lara swatted him playfully on the arm and walked over to the empty chair opposite his, making herself comfy.

"So, continuing on about your dashing Commander," Dorian started, making his way to his chair.

—-

Lara couldn't help her smile as she discovered Cullen was giving the healers a hard time. If he was being this stubborn, that meant good for his recovery. After having dinner with her friends, she decided to make her way to Cullen's quarters for the evening. She hadn't heard from him since she had been back except for a message from Rylen. He was alive, he was himself and that was all Lara needed to hear. Her emotions were still running high from the adrenaline, the possibility of losing him, the possibility that she may not have another chance with him.

The evening sunset was magical, with purples, oranges, and pinks blending into each other as the sun descended. A bitter chill was starting to settle in the closer it came to nighttime. As she approached Cullen's office, that adrenaline came rushing back in her body all at once. Tears pricked her eyes again and she took a deep breath to keep them at bay. Images of him on his knees, blood pooling around him, that look in his eyes as her magic ran haywire in an attempt to save him. The fear of losing him was too much for her to bear. She opened the door to see him standing there shirtless, his upper body wrapped in bandages. He turned around and stopped once he caught sight of her, taking her in.

She closed the door slowly behind her, taking nervous steps closer to him, her boots echoing in the silence between them. Those images flooded her mind front and center, more detailed than before. His blood spilling out his body, pooling underneath him, his expression, the sword above him, a moment away from taking him from her. His expression now as he studied was so full of emotion Lara didn't know where to begin in decoding it.

A sob unknowingly escaped her as the undealt emotions bubbled over demanding attention.

"Oh, Lara," He sighed, hearing her sob.

He rushed over to her pulling her in to him, resting her head on his chest with his hand, his other arm wrapped tight around her. The tears spilled down her cheeks, unable to keep them at bay any longer. That emotion that made itself known in horror not too long ago now presented itself front and center in her mind. She was in love with him. Even if she couldn't admit it, couldn't speak the words, the truth was there and it felt heavy and terrifying.

"I almost lost you," She whispered hoarsely, tears spilling one after the other.

"You didn't. You saved me," He replied, kissing the top of her head.

"I unleashed powerful magic without any control…" Lara pulled back, looking at him.

An uneasy expression crossed Cullen's face at the mention of it. She was sure that terrified him based on all his years of Templar training. He was conditioned to fear magic. He had also seen the horrors it could unleash.

"Had you not done so, I may not be here," His voice trembled at the realization.

He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb, his honey eyes searching her face, taking in her features. An eerie silence hung between them with the almost truth that he may not have been here had events played out differently. That she had saved him just in time. Had she been seconds too late, they would have never had another chance with each other. This moment wouldn't have existed. Lara shut her eyes tightly, resting her forehead against his chest.

"I had a dream you laid beside me. Or a hallucination. I'm not certain," He whispered.

"I did," She replied, opening her eyes.

"When?" Cullen asked, pulling her back so he could study her.

"In your tent in the Wilds after you fought the healers. I slept beside you that night," Lara couldn't help but smile.

"And you say I'm stubborn," Lara continued.

Cullen chuckled, pulling her into a hug again, holding her tight as if she might leave if he didn't hold onto her. He kissed the top of her head again as he stroked her hair, holding her head. She felt so dear to him as he held her close. He held her so lovingly she felt her heart swell at the gesture. No one had held her like this before and she immediately felt undeserving but she buried that. She just wanted to enjoy this moment, to be grateful that he was alive. That the Maker had given her another chance.

"I love you. I always knew but it hit me when…" He swallowed hard. "...when I didn't think I was going to make it. I was terrified I wouldn't have the chance to tell you again. I searched for you when I woke, but I passed out. I had to get better for you so I could tell you one last time," He finished, his voice choked with emotion.

"Don't say that," Lara shook her head. "This is not your last."

He pulled back, his hand cupping her chin, tipping her head up. His honey eyes locked with her emerald ones swimming with tears. His thumb stroked her chin as he took her in, memorizing every detail.

"I love you, Lara Trevelyan," His voice was full of meaning, of love, and Lara knew it was the truth.

He leaned in and kissed her like he had been meaning to for days. Like she was his reason for living. His life purpose. He wanted her to know she is cherished, desired, adored, worshiped by him. He would lay the world at her feet and she would destroy the world if it meant he survived.

—-

His hands wandered her body, his callouses leaving goosebumps on her skin in their trail. They traveled underneath his tunic that she wore and she wondered why she even put it on when Cullen seemed adamant on exploring underneath it.

"You're injured," She half-giggled, half-sighed as his fingers traced her core through her underwear.

"Doesn't stop me from needing you," He replied huskily, his eyes fixed on where his fingers traced.

His eyes were dark with desire as he watched her tremble underneath his touch, basking in the way she responded to him. He maneuvered down to the side of his bed, sliding down and resting on his knees. He reached over to grab her ankles and dragged her down till she reached the end, her legs dangling. A giggle escaped her at the motion. A smile played on his lips at her reaction as he lifted her legs up. His fingers reached the elastic of her underwear, sliding them off. She swallowed nervously knowing she was already wet and eager despite him being injured. He spread her legs, and his fingers resumed their tracing against her now naked core.

"What a mess. Just for me," He spoke as his fingers slid up and down through her wetness.

She arched her back at his touch, needing more. Her desire pulsing eagerly through her body. His touch lit a fire inside her that only he could control. A loud moan escaped her as his tongue replaced his fingers. Her hands clutched the sheets in response, her hunger for him insatiable. His mouth worked her clit expertly, sucking and nipping at her bundle of nerves causing that fire to explode within her. One finger entered her, pumping in and out slowly, stretching her, preparing her. Another finger. His pumps increased in speed, his fingers working her, hitting a spot that made her clench.

"Cullen!" She gasped as he hit that sensitive spot.

She could feel him smile against her core as she moaned his name. His thrusts increased at the sound, the plea. His mouth continued to work her clit in tandem. That same delicious pressure behind her hips began to grow more intense as she was getting closer to the edge. It was building into an unbearable desperate release that she needed causing her hips to move with the rhythm of his pumps.

"Cullen…please…I'm so close…" Lara moaned as she gripped the sheets, her knuckles turning white.

"I know my love," He spoke as he raised his head, his thumb replacing his mouth on her clit, rubbing circles with a delicious pressure.

"Oh, fuck…" Her head tilted back in pleasure, unable to take anymore.

"Who does your pleasure belong to?" He asked huskily as his pumps increased, meeting her hips at every thrust.

"You, Cullen, you," She chanted as her body tensed on the edge of her release.

"Come for me," He commanded.

His words barreled her forward off that edge as she shattered into a million pieces underneath him that she was sure she wouldn't recover from. She truly felt like his. Her body shuddered as his tongue traveled up her folds, tasting her release, savoring her. She noted that he didn't let go of her the whole time she orgasmed, reassuring her that she was something more to him than just a fantasy.

"I will never tire of hearing my name on your lips," He said as he climbed next to her.

She flushed at his words. The effect that he had on her was so strong, especially his words. He had proved it when he made her come on his ladder without even touching her. She laid there in bliss for some time.

"I want to try something. Do you trust me?" She said as she sat up, assessing him.

Uncertainty crossed his face for a second before he fixed his expression.

"Yes," Cullen replied.

Lara's heart stopped at his answer.

He actually trusts me.

"Strip," She repeated his words to him.

He chuckled as he stood up, undoing his trousers and sliding them down along with his underwear.

"I thought this was my office," He remarked as he climbed back on the bed.

Lara couldn't help but stare at his erection. He was painfully hard all because of her orgasm. Because of her. She shifted as desire coursed through her again.

"It works both ways. Out there you might be the Commander. In here, you're mine," Lara said confidently.

Cullen let out a laugh.

"Yes, Inquisitor. What will you have me do now?" He asked.

Lara removed the pillows. "Sit and rest against the headboard."

Cullen arched an eyebrow but followed her request anyways. He sat there, legs spread, his erection on full display with precum glistening at the tip, and a bandaged upper half. She licked her lips at the precum, wanting to taste it, to taste him, but knew she would be pushing her luck.

"Lara," He warned, his voice husky yet she didn't miss the fear behind it.

She moved so that she knelt in between his legs. Slowly, she wrapped her hand around his length, hot to the touch. She reveled in how thick he felt in her hand. The control was suddenly hers and Cullen knew it as he tensed at her touch. Her hand moved up and down his length, the tip of her finger swiping at his precum and bringing it to her mouth, licking it off.

"You're going to be the death of me," He said hoarsely, eyeing her cautiously.

His expression was a mix of conflict, no doubt with past traumas coming to the surface. He was sexually tortured, that much she knew, but she desperately wanted to change that for him. To rewrite his story. One where being touched didn't send him spiraling into flashbacks of his past. Her hand wrapped around his length again as she moved up and down.

"Put your hand over mine," She requested.

His expression still conflicted, he hesitated. His hand soon wrapped around hers.

"I never let anyone do this…" He whispered, his voice cracking.

"I know. You'll still be in control. Guide me," She assured him.

Cullen swallowed nervously at her request, his inner demons seizing this opportunity to swim to the surface at such a vulnerable moment. No one had ever gotten this close, until her. No one had touched him in this way, until her. He had never let them. Sex with them was just sex, a means to an end, something to take the edge off. Yet with her it was different. With her, his guard crumbled. He needed her close to him. He gently moved her hand up and down his cock, trying to get familiar with the foreign touch. To someone else pleasing him.

He could feel her watching him intently, studying his reaction. The inner battle within him was running rampant but she was eager to do this for him and he didn't want to scare her off or dampen her enthusiasm. He had to trust that somehow she was real and not a demon playing on his desires.

He increased the pace. She didn't take over, she let him lead her. Conflict still evident on his face, caught in between past trauma and pleasure as he guides her up and down his length. He exhales heavily with a groan, his eyes dark with lust. That groan sends a jolt to her core. She didn't realize how much his sounds edged her and she wondered if it was the same for him when she moaned. She watched their hands in tandem and wondered how he tasted, how she could fit him into her mouth.

One thing at a time.

Wetness pools in her lower half again as she pleases him, as she watches them, as she takes in his sounds. She closed her eyes trying to steady herself, wondering if he could tell what this was doing to her. Just his pleasure alone was enough to get her off, to her surprise, but there were so many things she was discovering about herself with him. The pace increases again causing her to open her eyes. Pleasure slowly overtaking his inner conflict as he guides her. She wrapped her hand tighter around him, adding a slight squeeze. A moan escaped him as he tilted his head back. She squeezed her thighs together at the pressure building from watching him fall apart for her.

"Lara…I'm going to…" He spoke in between moans, his release close.

She understood his meaning. His pumps were shaky, his body clenching, his release on the edge, her name on his lips. Giving into her impulses without much thought, she takes his tip into her mouth, closing her lips around him. With a jolt, he releases into her mouth, his hand grabbing her hair tightly. The eagerness of tasting him overpowers the sting of him pulling her hair. His release was a mixture of salty and sweet. Of him. Already she wanted more. She swallowed each rope that shot down her throat, savoring the taste.

"You are the death of me," He said, his eyes wide in horror as she came back up.

Shit…too far…

"You took me to Ferelden. To the dock you went to as a child when you needed quiet. You wanted to give me your coin that your brother gave you for luck but I told you to keep it. We had our first kiss and we fell into the lake," Lara said, remembering he needed something that only she knew.

He needs to know I'm real.

Emotion swam in his eyes at her confession. He was difficult to read tonight and she didn't know whether she made a mistake, whether she had pushed him too far or that he was grateful for the realization she was real and not a demon playing on his desires.

"You are not the only one who has had their walls broken down. You have torn my guard down in more ways than you realize," He spoke, his voice cracking again.

The air left her lungs at his confession. She was so focused on her fight in trying to keep her guard up despite him taking it down, that she hadn't realized she was doing the same to him.

"I'm sor…" She started.

"Don't you dare. I'm not sorry. I would have you tear it down again and again," He replied, reaching for her, bringing her closer to him.

Her heart swooned at his words. Lara reached for the pillows as he grabbed her and put them back in their place. Cullen moved slowly, being mindful of his injury, as he laid down, head resting on the pillow. Lara laid down next to him, her head resting on his chest while her fingers twirled the soft chest hairs visible through the bandages wrapped around him.

"You absolutely will be keeping that coin by the way. It's why you're alive," She spoke after a moment of silence.

Cullen let out a laugh, along with a sigh. No doubt releasing all the pent up emotions running through him after what they did.

"You might be right. It hasn't let me down yet," He responded, his fingers playing with her braid.

Silence surrounded them as they laid in each other's embrace, relishing in the fact that they had this moment. Had events played out differently, this moment wouldn't exist. His breathing deepened, and Lara looked up to find him fast asleep. She placed a soft kiss on his lips, and tucked a loose curl to the side, taking the time to admire him as he slept. This complex man, this complex Templar with so many sides to him that she was yet to discover. There was a reason he was placed in her life. To challenge her, to get her to face her past, to get her to change her beliefs, to let someone in. She just needed someone like him, and he needed her as much as she needed him.

She rested her head back on his chest, letting his breathing and his scent lull her to sleep. Samson's judgment lay ahead of her tomorrow and little did she know it would have her contemplate everything, especially the ex-Templar sleeping beside her.