We are back with another chapter :)

This one goes slightly back and forth between Cullen's and Lara's POV. I've been toying a bit more with including his side of things.

This primarily takes place in the Exalted Plains and there's quite a bit of banter in there. My favorite parts to write!

Hope you all enjoy! Thank you so much to everyone who has been following along thus far. It means a lot to me x

—-

Chapter 32:

It had been a week since Lara left for the Exalted Plains. Even longer than the day he hated most; the day Samson revealed a dark secret about him he had no intention of her finding out. She fled under his radar, avoiding him. Like she was always bent on doing. Her reasons before were unclear to him but this time, he knew her reasoning and he knew it well. Fear crippled him in her silence; she was slipping from his fingers and he couldn't stop it. He couldn't blame her; he would hate him too for what he had done. That didn't mean that he wouldn't fight for her, that he wouldn't wait the rest of his life for her to come around. She was his and that he knew to be true. A sick thought creeped in his mind; he had something of hers no one else ever could have. She trusted him with it for whatever reason and it was his. He discarded that impure thought.

His men were also bent on avoiding him. Apparently they were weary of him and his temper was overbearing. Only Rylen dared to enter the lion's den and he did so with a smirk. Despite his annoyance, Cullen was grateful for him. He stayed by his side no matter what. In his anger, Rylen managed to punch Samson through the bars once he realized he did something to her. That was the last time Samson braved putting his face next to them. Samson's admittance only sickened Cullen and he walked away to find Lara before he too would open his cell and break his face.

"What?" He growled as someone entered his office.

He refused to leave these days but only left for training or preparing his men. Otherwise, he had no business being outside.

"You look a fuckin' mess, lad," Rylen shook his head as he closed the door behind him.

Cullen ran an angry hand through his hair. He probably looked as shit as he felt. Sleep escaped him, his bed only reminding him of her. The faint smell of her perfume wouldn't fucking leave and it drove him insane at night. The reminder of what happened pained him further. She was everywhere; his bed, his desk, his bathtub, his ladder. His office was now his own personal slice of torture. When he found a stray hair of hers in his bed, he nearly lost it.

"If you don't have anything useful to say, get out," He snapped.

"You know the men are terrified of you right now. They're scared one day you're going to slice someone's head off. I'd actually like to see that…there's a few men I don't particularly like," Rylen crossed his arms over his chest with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Cullen sighed in annoyance as he flipped through the reports again. He tracked her whereabouts through the reports that landed on his desk. She needed space and he would give her that but he needed to know she was safe.

"Reading those reports over and over isn't gonna bring her back," He commented.

"Rylen, I swear to the Maker…" Cullen snapped as he threw the clipboard on his desk.

"I can't lose her," He choked out as he hunched over his desk.

"Lad, she hasn't left you. She would've if she wanted to, trust me. Dorian doesn't seem concerned about it so neither should you," Rylen answered standing opposite him.

He let out a chuckle. Cullen looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"Never thought I'd see you this bent over a woman," He shook his head.

Cullen sighed, scrubbing his stubble with his gloved hand. He too never thought he would be this way over a woman. Sure there was Solana but it was merely an ill-fatuation driven by hormones and the first few hits of lyrium altering his body. It wasn't love. None had ever caught his attention or interested him. Until her. Until Lara had stumbled into his life. Until the moment he first laid eyes on her and was pulled towards her. Something he never felt until Haven. He would have stopped the world in order to protect her, even if it meant harboring a prisoner.

Each of those mages that died under his blade haunted him till today. He never wanted to take a life but he was convinced he was serving something greater than himself once. That this was necessary in order to save the world, to save thousands. Now, he questioned it and he hated himself for being so naive. He was merely a pawn in the Chantry's game of removing as many mages as possible. His regret would not bring them back but he took on the role as Commander of the Inquisition as his repentance, to actually fight evil and bring good into the world. His punishment was having his Inquisitor be a mage. His ultimate punishment was falling in love with her.

"Nor I," He muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose, his headache increasing.

"Aye, I'll round up the men then. If you ever need a list of names on who to stab first, let me know," Rylen called as he headed out, waving a finger in the air.

Cullen's head now pounded as the door shut behind Rylen. He stared at the report in front of him once more. It came as no surprise that Lara was trying to befriend a Dalish clan or at least be in their favor. He knew the events in the Temple had altered her, made her see things differently. Matured her almost. He just prayed the time away would bring her back to him.

"Please come back to me…" He whispered as he kept the reports close.

—-

They approached the Dalish camp and Lara was in awe, watching them. Nerves knotted her stomach as she feared they might reject her being that she was human. She was hoping Solas may be able to help even if he didn't seem keen on Dalish elves.

"Elfy elves…get ready for proper culture, blah, blah, blah," Sera blew a raspberry.

"Your maturity astounds me," Dorian said sarcastically.

Lara rolled her eyes but secretly she appreciated the banter. It helped distract her from her inner turmoil regarding Cullen. The time apart was allowing her to think more clearly but she would be lying if she said her heart didn't ache for him. Even more, she missed his warmth and his strong arms accompanied by his scent of oakmoss and elderflower.

"Don't get too close to the halla. They're unused to strangers," A Dalish elf spoke to her.

"I'm sorry. I won't disturb them. I promise," Lara nodded her head in acknowledgement.

He looked shocked at her response. "I didn't expect such kindness from a stranger. May I ask, have you come across a golden halla? I fear human soldiers may kill her."

"I haven't but we can find her and bring her back here," Lara smiled at the elf.

"I would appreciate that," The elf nodded and walked off to tend to the halla surrounding him.

As they ventured further into the camp, she spotted the Keeper staring out into the stream before them. Swallowing her nerves, Lara made her way over to him.

"These are not good times to come unbidden before the people. Especially here. For we remember the destruction of our homes at the hands of humans. My patience is thin with all that has befallen us. You should be on your way," The Keeper turned to face her.

"I'm here to help. What does your clan need?" Lara urged, ignoring his dismissal.

"The Orlesian war has hindered our progress through the Dirth. The army has caused rockslides. They dig ditches that trip the halla and cause destruction. Precisely when our clan needs him the most, my first born defies my wishes and mounts on an excursion to the Emerald Graves. And now I find that sacred grounds are infested with angry spirits from the Beyond," The Keeper vented his frustrations listing each problem one by one.

"Then allow me to take care of that," Lara answered, mentally noting each issue.

"My clan and I would be deeply grateful. Be mindful of the resting places of our dead. You are quite different from any shemlen I've met," The Keeper almost smiled.

"That she is. I can vouch for it myself," Solas confirmed with a smile.

Lara smiled at Solas fondly.

—-

They approached Var Bellanaris to remove the angry spirits that haunted the sacred grounds. Lara remembers the Keeper's words of respecting the resting places of the dead. She wasn't sure what the custom was for respecting such places but she tried as best as she could. If there was anything wrong, Solas surely would protest.

After they removed the angry spirits so the dead could lay in peace, they went in search of the golden halla so it wouldn't be killed and sold for trade. Lara was slowly beginning to understand why elves mistrusted humans and suffered so much at their hands.

"Sera and I were just talking about you Solas. We need you to settle a question for us," Blackwall spoke as they searched around the open plains.

Solas sighed, already annoyed. "Sera is involved? So this question will be offensive."

"Yes, probably. Sorry. You make friends with spirits in the Fade. So, um, are there any that are more than just friends? If you know what I mean…" Blackwall asked.

Lara bit her tongue to stop herself from laughing. Sera was already snickering. She swore Sera loved annoying Solas on purpose as did Dorian. It wasn't even a question she pondered before but suddenly she was curious. Did he turn to spirits in the Fade rather than a physical person?

"Oh for f…" Solas started and Lara spun towards him. She had never heard him curse before.

"Really?" He shouted in annoyance.

"Look, it's a natural thing to be curious about," Blackwall defended.

"For a twelve year old," Solas shot back.

"It's a simple yes or no question."

"Nothing about the Fade or spirits is simple. Especially not that," Solas answered.

Blackwall burst into laughter. "Haha! So you do have experience in these matters!"

"Knew it!" Sera shouted.

"I did not say that," Solas deadpanned.

"Don't panic. It'll be our little secret," Blackwall confided.

Lara tried to focus on the golden halla, but little bursts of laughter were escaping her.

"Ass," Solas hissed.

Blackwall burst into laughter again. "Now who's twelve!"

—-

When they settled into camp for the evening, Lara was buzzing with excitement. She completed all the ailments of the Dalish camp including replenishing their supplies that they couldn't get access to. She had won an exceptional amount of favor with the Dalish clan and the Keeper even let her recruit Loranil who desperately wanted to join the Inquisition. She was surprised that they allowed them to stay for the day and speak with the clan. The stories they told her fascinated her but their suffering pained her. Lara wanted them to know they were considered by her. By the Inquisition. The events at the Temple truly altered her.

Tomorrow was a new day with a new side to help. The ramparts needed claiming under the Inquisition and there were still the Freemen of the Dales to deal with. Dorian and Bull were there at the camp and the group was roaring with conversation and laughter over dinner. Lara merely picked at her food and sat a bit away from the camp looking at the horizon in front of her. The evenings were always the worst when her mind was consumed with Cullen.

"There is something troubling you lethallan," Solas spoke as he sat next to her.

Lara sighed. "It's Cullen."

"The mages he killed?" Solas asked.

Lara's eyes widened. "How did you…"

"Dorian requested I speak with you about it. Something about wisdom in my years," Solas looked annoyed.

Lara let out a laugh, shaking her head. That sounded like Dorian.

"I did something stupid. Yet again. I visited Samson thinking I could…I don't know….get something out of him? Maybe in his anger, he'd say too much. He gave me something behind his motives but the conversation soon turned on me. He knows somehow about our relationship. He taunted me with how many mages he killed and their names. It's so painful. I'm heartbroken yet I can't let him go. I'd still choose him knowing he killed them," Lara spoke softly, a tear running down her cheek.

"It seems you have your answer. Nothing is stupid in the grand scheme of things. There is always a reason, a motive behind an action even if it is not so obvious to us. This was the truth you needed to face," Solas answered calmly.

"Doesn't that make me a traitor? Choosing a man who has killed my kind?" Lara asked desperately, her guilty conscience consuming her.

"Then by default that makes him a traitor as well," Solas replied with a shrug.

"What?" Lara looked at him wide-eyed, his answer taking her by surprise.

"You've killed his kind, have you not? The Red Templars? Most were men that had served until Samson had taken them under his wing and corrupted them. Some were probably men that had interacted with Cullen at some point or other," Solas explained.

"But…that was…no…." Lara stumbled over her words.

"I don't see him holding it against you," Solas finished.

"Fuck off, Solas," Lara huffed out, turning angrily away from him.

Solas only let out a chuckle, not taking offense.

"Times like this I would call you da'len but I'd rather not risk my life since you can rival me now with Fade magic," Solas smirked.

"You'd still beat me," Lara muttered angrily.

"Not if your emotions are involved," Solas pointed out.

"For what it's worth, the mages are aware of the relationship between their Commander and Inquisitor. They constantly ask me questions knowing that we are close. None of the mages consider you a traitor. If anything, they see your relationship as hope that one day templars and mages can truly live in peace," Solas confided in her.

"How do they know? We've kept it private," Lara suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"News spreads quickly around Skyhold. No one can deny the attraction when you two are together or when you enter his office at night," Solas answered.

An intense heat crept up Lara's neck and face. She hadn't thought to be more discreet about when she ran to his office at night. She would have no business there at that time unless there was something between them. Nor had she been discreet when she left his office in the early hours of the morning.

Fuck I made it so obvious…

"Thank you, Solas. Truly," Lara smiled at him, and turned to embrace him.

Solas hesitated, most likely not used to such displays of affection, but hugged her back all the same. Her answer was clear to her now. As much as he had killed mages, she had also killed his fellow men whether he knew them or not. They had all once served the same cause and Cullen considered them as his brothers. If he failed to kill a mage when demanded, it would be him who would lose his life. He did it out of survival. Out of necessity.

"For you, lethallan. I presume you need a trip to the Fade?" Solas asked.

Lara pulled away to look at him and nodded.

—-

Before setting out to the ramparts, Lara fulfilled her promise of Solas's mission to save his friend. Their trip to the Fade had been an insightful one, putting Lara's suspicions at bay. For now. They hurried before they were too late as Solas could sense that something was wrong. Lara heard a grunt and saw a giant pride demon hunched over before them. Dread curled in her gut as she realized she failed Solas. They were too late. Solas stopped in his tracks.

"My friend," He cried out.

He let out a growl of frustration as the pride demon zapped with electricity, hunched over, taking deep breaths.

"They corrupted it, didn't they?" Lara spoke as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Yes," He gritted out angrily.

"You said it was a spirit of wisdom, not a fighter," Lara continued.

"A spirit becomes a demon when denied its original purpose," He answered, clenching his jaw.

"So it was summoned for something completely opposite to its own purpose; it became corrupted. Fighting then?" Lara tried to piece it together.

A mage soon appeared in front of them before Solas had time to confirm her hypothesis. His expression turned cold as the mage stood in front of them. Lara squeezed his shoulder in an attempt to keep him calm.

"Let us ask them!" He shouted angrily.

"You are both a mage? You're not with the bandits?" The mage asked, confused. "Do you have any lyrium potions? Most of us are exhausted. We've been fighting that demon…"

"You summoned that demon! Except it was a spirit of wisdom at the time. You made it kill. You twisted it against its purpose!" Solas continued to shout.

Lara could feel his emotions stirring, could feel his magic threatening to burst at the tip of his fingertips. This must be what he feels when her emotions consume her. The only difference is that Solas was containing it far better than she could.

"I…I…I understand how it might be confusing to someone who hasn't studied demons before, but after you help us, I can…" The mage started.

"Word of advice," Lara glared at him. "I'd hold off on trying to explain how demons work to my friend here. His knowledge would make yours look pathetic," Lara finished.

"Listen to me! I was one of the foremost experts in the Kirkwall Circle—" The mage glared back.

"Shut. Up." Solas hissed before Lara could fight back.

"You summoned it to protect you from the bandits," Solas continued.

"I–yes," The mage hung his head.

"You bound it to obedience, then commanded it to kill. That's when it turned. The summoning circle. We break it, we break the binding. No orders to kill, no conflict with its nature, no demon," Solas turned to Lara.

"What! The binding is the only thing keeping it from killing us! Whatever it was before, it is a monster now!" The mage protested.

"Lara, please!" Solas begged her. It was a rare time he had actually used her name.

"You know I wouldn't say no to you, Solas. I can break the binding," Lara smiled at him.

"Thank you," He sighed.

Pushing past the idiot mage who had no business calling himself an expert in anything, Lara got to work in removing the binding. The pride demon stood up, roaring into the open plains, electricity humming rapidly throughout its body. Solas had already created a barrier to protect them as Lara got to work destroying the binding circle, pillar by pillar. She didn't want to fight the demon knowing that it had been corrupted. It wasn't its fault. Not caring about her mana, she used all her force into destroying the pillars. Solas did nothing to stop his friend from attacking the mages' people. There was pure vengeance in his eyes, which sent a shiver down Lara's spine. He must have been close with this spirit to fight for it so much.

When the last column had shattered in front of her, Lara felt her energy slip as her body wavered. A woman now sat where the demon stood, a light green hue glowing around her and in her eyes. The same green that matched Lara's anchor. Solas and the woman spoke in elven. Lara couldn't understand what they were saying but she felt like she was interrupting a very intimate moment between them. Were they lovers in the Fade? Solas shut his eyes and moved his hands, magic strumming between them. The woman turned to stone and then shattered, scattering into the wind.
"Dareth shiral," Solas spoke, his head hung.

"Solas, if there is anything I can do to help…" She offered as she approached him.

Solas stood and gave her a weak smile. "You already have. Now all that remains is them."

"Thank you. We would not have risked a summoning, but the roads are too dangerous to travel unprotected," The mage approached them with two other mages behind him.

"You tortured and killed my friend!" Solas stalked towards them, anger flaring throughout him.

"We didn't know it was just a spirit! The book said it could help us!" The mage took steps backwards.

Lara snorted. "So much for being a fucking expert…"

Solas took one look back at Lara and his meaning was clear; he was seeking her permission on whether to kill them or not. Suddenly, Lara felt like her world had turned and she was in Cullen's shoes. Killing mages for the greater good. This was a mage who had no issue in summoning demons in order to save his own back. Who seemed to have no remorse for his actions. Who would only summon more. Cullen was trapped by demons in Ferelden Circle and tortured to no end. Her heart ached at the realization and at the pain she caused by separating them.

Fighting back a tear, Lara nodded at Solas. He did not hesitate in taking all their lives in a swift movement. The magic echoed shrillingly in Lara's ears as he ended their lives in a matter of seconds. She had seen it all wrong. Cullen killed to survive, to protect the world. She needed to remember that her kind were not all good. Especially this mage who came from Kirkwall's circle. Cullen must have known him.

"I need some time alone. I will meet you back in Skyhold," Solas looked away as he marched on.

"What? Solas!" Lara followed him.

"Please Lara!" He shouted, standing still, not facing her.

Lara halted. Cullen had granted her time, now she had to do the same.

"Just be safe," She said after a few moments. She made a mental note to check with Leliana that he had arrived safely.

Solas walked off, disappearing into the open skies of the Plains.

—-

The days bled into each other as they continued on in the Plains accomplishing their missions one by one. Each mission brought her closer to Skyhold, closer to Cullen. The anticipation was killing her and the craving for his closeness was getting to be unbearable. Dorian replaced Solas on their missions. Rather than make fun of Solas, he actually sympathized with him. Dorian also gave her a firm reminder of why not all mages were good and why Cullen had to do what he did. Lara rolled her eyes at that. Despite her own revelation, Dorian still had to rub her nose in it in a smug manner that reeked of I told you so.

Perhaps she deserved it.

They laid rest to the Eastern and Western Ramparts, saved Fort Revasan, set up tents throughout the Plains to hold their influence, rid the area of most of the Freemen and now they had completed the grueling task of reclaiming Riverside Garrison. Exhaustion seeps deep in her bones now as their adventures have been non-stop. Luckily more potions and supplies arrived at the camps as their supplies were quickly depleting under the pressure. Lara had sent word for the bridge to be restored to save the Citadelle and to open a passage for Ghilan'nain's Grove but to preserve the architecture and landscape as much as possible. She didn't want to lose the Dalish's favor.

Lara was relieved to be settled in camp and wasted no time in preparing for sleep.

"So Dorian, about last night," Iron Bull broke the silence between them.

Dorian sighed in annoyance. "Discretion isn't your thing, is it?"

"Three times!" Bull shouted.

Both Sera and Lara bursted into laughter winning them a death glare from Dorian. Blackwall chuckled along as he finished the remains of his dinner.

"Also, do you want your silky underthings back, or did you leave those like a token?" Bull continued.

Dorian's face grew angrier but Lara could have sworn he was blushing.

"Or…wait, did you 'forget' them so you'd have an excuse to come back? You sly dog!" Bull chuckled in excitement.

"If you choose to leave your tent unhooked like a savage, I may or may not come," Dorian glared at him.

"Speak for yourself, big guy," Bull gave him a wink.

Dorian let out a frustrated groan as he stood up, "You are impossible!" He stormed off.

"That's right. Stoke those fires," Bull called after him.

Sera and Lara were in fits of laughter. Lara appreciated the happy moment and was more than grateful for the people she had surrounding her. She was proud to call them her friends even if the familiar ache of loss consumed her at the thought of them leaving after all this was over. They were all from different parts of the world with only the Inquisition bringing them together. She loved the banter between Dorian and Bull but it did nothing to remove the ache of the Commander she missed so much.

—-

A letter that he had not expected graced his desk. He reread it a few times just to make sure he wasn't losing his mind and it was real. Mia had written to Lara. That didn't surprise him. She was always interfering in his business, particularly his love life. It was more of a surprise that she had waited this long. The most surprising element was that Lara had actually written back to her. And had never mentioned it to him. Unease settled in as he put the pieces together. She must've sent it around the time she found out the news from Samson.

"It must've been just before. She wouldn't have written it after…" He spoke to himself, pacing in his office.

Her letter gave him hope even if he had no idea what the contents of the letter were. It must've been good based on Mia's letter. Maybe there was still a chance that she was still his. That she still wanted him and their future together. He prayed it was so as he had planted some seeds on his trip back home for his future. His future that he hoped she would agree to be a part of.

My Dearest Brother Cullen,

At least I know your lover is still alive thanks to her letter. I like her already. Maybe she can keep you in check. I hope she slapped you for me! I am still your sister, you know, and I worry about you. Even if your letter only says "I am alive" it is enough!

Your Loving Sister (See how easy this is?)

Mia

He couldn't help but smile at the letter, imagining Mia's face as she scolded him. It was his first real smile in days. There was no doubt that Mia and Lara would get along well. His head already hurt at the thought. He pulled out some parchment and ink, suddenly overcome with the urge to write to Lara while she was away with no return date in sight. He decided not to mention Mia's letter for now.

One thing at a time.

—-

Her request was immediately granted as Inquisition soldiers worked long and hard on both the bridge and the passage. After its completion, Lara had to decide which they would do first. Something about Ghilan'nain's Grove was calling her but there was another matter to tend to.

"Inquisitor. A very important message came for you from Leliana," Scout Harding approached her with a smirk on her face.

"Um, thank you?" Lara responded confused, taking the letter from her.

"You might want to read it somewhere private," Harding only smirked further as she walked away.

Odd…

Unsure why the letter would warrant a smirk, she made her way to her tent sitting on the edge of her bed, unfolding the letter. There was a note from Leliana.

Inquisitor,

This letter is being delivered on behalf of the Commander with a very special and secure raven. Please ensure you use it to deliver a message.

PS - That's code for please put him out of his misery. And us for that matter.

Leliana

Lara's heart raced. He sent her a letter? The man hardly ever wrote a letter. Was he really faring that bad? Rylen unfortunately wasn't here to ask as he remained loyal to Cullen and stuck by his side. Slowly she unfolded the letter that she recognized was his penmanship. She bit her lip, nervous at what the contents entailed.

My Inquisitor,

Your request has been granted. Anything you ask of me will always be given to you.

Allow me this moment to write to you what I wish to say. You have reason to hate me for what I've done. Maker knows I do. My reason for killing was due to failed Harrowings. It was expected of me or it would cost me my life. It is no excuse or a pardon for my actions. I was naive to think my actions were for a greater purpose. Their deaths under my hand still haunt me to this day. Words cannot express my grief. Now even more so as it risks our future.

It is a burden I carried alone. Until now. No one has ever had insight into my past as much as you do. It unnerves me but I am trying. I am so achingly sorry for what I've done. I meant what I said that I will wait for you for as long as the Maker grants me. It is you I want Lara and nothing will ever change that. Please come back to me. That is an order.

Your Commander.

PS - Green is still my favourite colour. And I miss it terribly.

Lara reread the letter over and over. It confirmed her suspicions that his count was due to failed Harrowings. Deep down, she knew he wouldn't have killed unnecessarily even with his views towards mages. Blackwall had seen it as putting his fellow men out of their misery when some of the Wardens were binded. Cullen was doing the same for the mages. It was only after she had realized it but her mind was overridden with shock, it couldn't process what it needed to. The time apart allowed her to clear her head and slowly mend her heart. Only now it ached for him. She decided to write him back; it wasn't so often this man wrote a letter.

Sitting at her desk, she pulled out parchment and ink and began pouring herself and her revelations onto the paper. He had been so open, so vulnerable with her and all she did was try to shut herself down. Two steps forward, three steps back, dancing around him, never letting him stay too close. She'd be lying if she wasn't terrified as well at trusting someone fully. She had only ever been dismissed by people she loved most, but slowly that was unraveling to be untrue. Dorian, Solas, Varric, Sera, Blackwall, Bull. Most important, Cullen. They all were truly by her side.

My Commander,

Well, the man can write after all. Glad to see you've found your parchment and ink and that they are in working order.

Time away from you has made me miss you terribly, but it has also given me the clarity I needed. I suspected as much the reason for their deaths. You did what was necessary to survive as did many other Templars. If anything, you put them out of their misery when they failed their Harrowings.

It was cruel of me to think of you as an enemy from the very beginning. Years of conditioning from the Order are to blame. Thankfully, my heart has been betraying me in that regard. I regretted visiting Samson at first. Suddenly, everything we had was shattered and my mind went into shock. Now I realize it was exactly what I needed: the truth. I know you wouldn't have given it to me in order to protect me but it was actually what I needed. Samson proved to be useful after all.

I haven't always been fair to you. I resort to keeping you at arm's length just to protect myself, to not let myself get too close to you. I never wanted to be hurt again but keeping you away hurts more. Despite your past, I would still choose you over and over again. As time passes, I realize this more and more and I'm tired of resisting. I have too many battles to fight and I don't want you to be one of them anymore.

Your Inquisitor.

PS - I've recently grown fond of the colour gold. I hear it compliments green very well.

A smile grew on her face, proud of her response. This was a rare moment where she was vulnerable with him, and now he had that piece of her on black and white. It wasn't everything she wished to say; she would save it for when they were face to face. Rolling up and sealing her letter, she exited her tent and immediately spotted the special raven that awaited instructions. It was a beautiful, shiny shade of jet black and eyed Lara as if expecting her. Her fingers gently glided along its feathers, admiring it. She tucked the letter safely with the raven and with a croak, it took flight.

Lara sighed as she made her way back to her tent. An ache gnawed at her in her chest. She yearned for him; to see him, to hear his voice, to be held in his arms, to be wrapped up in his scent. She ached to be close to him but it was her who separated them even before she departed for the Exalted Plains. She was only hurting herself in the process but she had a knack for messing things up. Getting her gear and potions ready, she set to meet her party to finish all the loose ends so she could go back home.

"I sense you're eager to get back to Skyhold?" Dorian gave her a knowing look.

"I always am. Skyhold is home," Lara replied.

"And of course there is a certain ex-Templar there that makes it that much better," Dorian smirked.

"It's definitely a bonus," Lara winked as she walked on.

"Ah, she's back," He replied happily.

Lara rolled her eyes.

—-

There was an extra bounce in his step and he actually managed to leave his office. He hadn't realized how much he missed fresh air. His men only eyed him wearily, terrified that he was at a snapping point. They maintained an extra distance in case he had lost his mind entirely. Cullen found it odd but didn't question it. Rylen, of course, didn't care much but watched the men in amusement.

Lara had written to him. She had actually opened up to him for once. There was still hope that their future didn't hang on a fine thread, ready to break at any second. A security that wasn't there before comforted him. True to his words he had uttered to her once, she had questioned what he had done. Yet, she said she would still choose him over and over. He admired her strength and how much she had grown since they first met. He didn't deserve her forgiveness but he would spend the rest of his life making it up to her. He would fight for her everyday. She was his, he was certain of that. He had never been so certain of anyone before. He never thought he would admit it but Samson had actually proven to be useful. He reluctantly was grateful.

Now, he was itching for her to come back. Surely, they would be making their way back now but he knew how meticulous she was with creating a positive influence and helping others in the regions. He admired that about her. The world saw what a strong woman she was, how she fought evil yet brought enemies together. How mages were taught magic and templars were able to remove their leash through rehabilitation. It was something Cullen wanted to carry on even after the Inquisition was over. All part of his future.

"Well this is a change in scenery; the Commander out of his office. I take it you read her letter," Leliana approached him.

Cullen flushed. "I take it you have as well."

"Naturally," Leliana smirked.

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"When will she come back?" He asked, not making eye contact.

"In a few days," Leliana answered immediately.

Cullen let out a sigh. It was still so far away. He had been starved of her touch, her scent, her laughter, her voice. He needed her back in his arms again. He needed to tell her everything he wanted to tell her. He needed to get lost in those emerald greens again. He too would choose her over and over again, only it wasn't a choice for him. He was pulled the moment he saw her. It was out of his control. She was a necessity to him. She was the quiet to his madness.