Log 32
I'm feeling better again, since the humans have repaired my lens. I'll soon get to experience my next adventures with the Skibidis. As for now, one can see a battlefield outside with dead warriors from both sides, wrecked cars, debris and thick black smoke. In the middle of the wide street, a large toilet is trying to swallow a Camcorder; one of its kind holds it by the hands and pulls it in the opposite direction. In vain, he is pulled up with it!
A Camera Strider shoots over there, only to disappear the next moment. The culprit is a monster in camouflage, which boldly uses its two lasers. But there comes the Speaker Titan, it lands next to the beast and strikes while our anthem plays. He is pushed back, but has already shot bravely.
But... On the roof of a skyscraper, the so-called Skibidi Professor is waiting with two large parasite toilets, which drop directly onto the red giant like ticks on forest walkers. The effect is delayed, allowing the colossus to kick the enemy and rinse him off.
Thumbs up. But he's already screaming! Reaches into his neck and pulls out one of the parasites. It falls out of his hand before he can destroy it, because that's when it starts: blue flashes. Sounds of pain. The music has long since stopped and the remaining parasite has reached its target. The victory over the aforementioned opponent is the Speaker Titan's final official act. The energy core in his chest is now glowing yellow, an unmistakable sign, for it is the color of the enemy. And then he starts firing at our units: the Speaker Striders, the Large Speakermen, the Cameramen. The Skibidi Professor watches with a grin. His goal overachieved.
Log 33
Enchante!
I'm back with renewed strength and courage! I, too, urgently need that...
- several hours later -
It was a dark day that ended in the firelight. Half the city is burning. But we start from the beginning.
It actually went well today, we even had the Helicopter Boxes in use. "Everybody wants to rule the world" would have become every citizen's catchy tune if there were still people living in the houses. They are now holding out in the numerous shelters.
But our Helicopter Speakers were soon shot down. By the one who was our hero until yesterday. Instead, helicopter toilets are now flying over the city.
The G-Man has terrorized and massacred everyone. Grinning devilishly and scorching with his lasers, he drove around singing, or rather shouting, his stupid propaganda song. "Skibidi dop dop dop yes yes!" I can't listen to it anymore! I hope he's defeated soon. He likes to see the buildings blow up in front of him. Feelings of power for the toilet boss! A YouTube headquarters also had to make way for the violent excesses.
Our troups made the acquaintance of a hideous mutant, a creature that has arms with long, trembling fingers and legs attached to the toilet bowl that serves as its body. We discovered parts of our units on many toilets. This should be a lesson to us not to leave our disused people lying around, as they can be exploited. It's already been written in this logbook, but unfortunately we're still no closer to the evacuation squad. I'll include it in Friday's bug report.
Anyway, once again I thought my last hour had come when this mutant attacked me. But he went away again as I laid down motionless.
Log 34
For our next strategy, we looked for an old, spacious warehouse and set up a position of Camera- and Speakermen in it. Three Camcorders took up their position, two next to the door on each side, one on a ledge above. The plan was for me to lure an infected Camcorder.
So I showed myself to one of them, who immediately started chasing me. I ran ahead of him and led him into the warehouse through the door. Once he was inside, the two guards grabbed him by the sleeves. He tried to get away and was hit on his camera to make him stand still. Unfortunately, there was no other way. So the two held him down and the third jumped behind him and pulled the parasite out of his neck. It cracked and the blue flashes quickly disappeared.
I may be wrong, but I think its fingers were longer than usual and trembling, which reminded me of yesterdays mutant. This apparition also receded, if it had been real at all. The disgusting troublemaker ran with his "tongue" out to the rest of the position, where a Large Speakerman picked it up and inspected it. I don't know if they just destroyed the thing or took it back to the lab for research, but the latter is very likely, especially since Camera Scientists were present and it would have been borderline stupid not to study the enemy's tech. The little guy was still eagerly sticking out his tongue and wriggling his tired little legs, but that didn't help him either, he was locked up and the distorted skibidi sound was silenced.
It's also worth mentioning that I've noticed for a few days now that the people in the main office, i.e. our builders, are really buzzing. They are definitely hatching something! There are rumors among Camera- and Speakermen about a new robot species. New comrades, friends, alliance members. New hardware heads. Someone claims to have seen blueprints. Everything is in a frenzy. And for now... I think I recognized a tall, stately figure in the same warehouse in the background, in the semi-darkness. It was kind of square at the top, something glowing blue-violet. The prototype?
But what everyone can probably guess from our success is that the Speakermen played our anthem and performed the famous Floss Dance. And that the Camcorders and we all gave our thumbs up. That's how it should be!
Log 35
Today was a great day for our scientists: they were able to present a new weapon, their first invention, which they had built entirely by themselves and which the humans only had to approve. The anti-parasite gun! As the name suggests, it removes electronic pests from infected units. We were all very excited, because until this morning nobody knew whether the device would work. To test this, we had locked a few infected robots in iron cages.
The demonstrating scientist pointed the gun at them. A second later, the dead parasite fell out of the neck of the unit that had been hit. Shortly afterwards, the other machines were also freed from their tormentors.
In the next moment, our worst nightmare came true. The roof was torn away and we saw the sneering G-Man and the renegade Speaker Titan. Our experiment leader didn't hesitate for a second and took aim at him, but it had no effect on said entity who loaded his railgun to blow everything up. So our good friend in the white coat sacrificed himself, looked at me, threw his weapon at me and gave himself up to martyrdom, with honor. There was no time to mourn, everything had to flee, and the cages could only just be opened.
Of course, the G-Man-Toilet was delighted with the success, he also tried to raze the entire area to the ground, but fortunately didn't succeed. However, the building could no longer be found after this incident.
Once again, I wonder how they were able to discover us. Nobody noticed any spies. Or... Traitors? But we're not programmed for that.
Wandering through the smoke from the explosion that was billowing on the streets nearby, I finally found a small, dirty cul-de-sac where I could hide. Several other soldiers had already sought and found shelter there. I hope they made it out safely.
We've lost enough units and equipment in this military confrontation. I can't give exact casualty and inventory figures here; this information, as well as alternative experience reports, can be found at headquarters. It's not that easy to get to.
Log 36
It is now June and the war is still going on. Today we launched a large-scale rescue operation.
A Camcorder Scientist aimed two anti-parasite rifles in each hand at a squad of enemies consisting of small and large attackers and infected Hardware Heads. Three onlookers sat on empty, defeated Skibidis to watch the action. One Cameraman was emptying a can of lubricating oil, while the person sitting next to him was playing at being human and had a large bag of popcorn between his hands for fun. The Speakerman next to him had nothing with him, he was watching the situation with silent interest. Apart from that, there were broken toilet bowls and their fragments lying around everywhere.
So the white camcorder started up and first hit a black robot, which reflected it for a moment and then flushed the enemy nearest to it. The latter was noticeably irritated. For that, the spectators had made a good catch: the stupid face would certainly have been worth a snapshot! Looked really hilarious. Even tried to bite. The other units turned around. A Camcorder smashed two Skibidis against each other. The former can get pretty violent sometimes, which is why some builders call them "Brutal Cameramen". Of course, they are only that aggressive towards attackers; that is, when it is justified.
One, who had been riding along on a toilet, flushed it before it could bite. The dead parasite toilets were left behind on the street. The spectators clapped as the scientist lowered his arms. He had defeated the adversaries virtually single-handedly, mad respect!
