One Spring afternoon, Sonic the Hedgehog was visiting the Chao Garden with a few books in his hands. He was surrounded by lots of chaos young and old, including Cheese, Cream's pet Chao, and a chao that looked a lot like Sonic.
"So what would you guys want me to read for story time?" Sonic asked. "Maybe Cinderella? Or The Frog Prince? Or maybe The Little Mermaid? Or maybe a story from Winnie-the-Pooh? That'll be cool for you guys?" He then saw a young Neutral Chao chewing on a book. "You wanted Pinocchio? That'll be a great story for little Chaos like you." He picked up the book the Chao was chewing on. "Oh, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, huh? Okay. Snow White it is then. Alright. Let's get started!"
But all of a sudden, a Dark Chao who looked like Shadow pulled out a gun and shot the Sonic's Snow White book just as he was about to open it. The other Chaos complained to the Dark Chao about this foul action.
"Shoot, that was a bust," Sonic sighed, then he got an idea. "I got it. How about I tell ya my own version of Snow White? Ya know, give it my own personal spin on things that happened in the story."
The Chaos made Chao noises, as if they wanted to hear Sonic's version.
"Alright. Let's start from the beginning!" And this is the story Sonic told. In his words.
….
Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful young princess named Rose Pink, named after a beautiful rose her parents liked a lot. Rose Pink was a kind and spunky young soul. Giving food to the poor, giving them shout outs at parties, and being the life of the party sometimes.
But since this is a fairy tale, some bad things naturally happened. Her dad died because of the plot and her mom married a "good looking" human by the name of King Baldy shortly after. King Baldy was not a good guy. He was a selfish, land destroying, and robot and animal abusing villain who wanted world domination, which makes you question why the mom would marry someone like him. I'd tell ya. She had bad taste. I mean, she married a human despite being a hedgehog. Who does that?
But anyway, the one thing King Baldy loved more than his sense of power was his vanity. He thought his ginormous moustache was the most beautiful thing he's ever done to himself. He was so vain, when the Queen, who is Rose Pink's mom by the way, died of writing causes, he forced his animal stepdaughter to work as a maid, cleaning up everything. And every day, he walked up to his ugly looking mechanical mirror and said this mixed up quote, "Mirror mirror on the wall. Who is the most good looking being of all?" And the mirror, which consisted of two robots, just said it was him. Puh! Yeah right.
But one day, something changed. When King Baldy asked who is the most good looking being of all, the round headed robot in the mirror said this. "Well, you see, your highness, even if you are good looking, we've found someone who knocks you out of the park."
"We did?" the cube headed robot asked dumbly.
"Yes, you idiot," the round robot said, facepalming.
"WHAT!?" King Baldy roared. "Who could be more good looking than me, King Baldy, the smartest and most handsomest dictator in this cursed kingdom!?"
"Your target is someone whose eyes are as green as the emeralds, nose as black as coal, headband as red as me, and fur as pink as a rose," the round robot said in a mysterious tone.
"Oooh! Let me guess, um, Lola-rella?" the cube robot guessed.
Unlike the cube robot, King Baldy put the puzzle pieces together, which is honestly the smartest thing he's ever done. "ROSE PINK!?" he bellowed. "That disgusting princess with a disgusting red and white outfit!? This will not, I mean, NOT be tolerated! I think I have a plan to get rid of Rose Pink once and for all!" He laughed in a hilariously evil way and then coughed like someone smoking like a dumb bot.
Meanwhile, the Princess Rose Pink was cleaning up the stairs of the castle when she decided to take a little break by skipping towards a nearby well and chatting with a few Flickies.
"I'll tell you guys," she began in an "in love" tone. "As much as I like cleaning up around the castle, I wish for some good looking prince or bandit to take me away from this heckhole and live happily ever after." She sighed and sang a song that could get us sued.
While she did this, by pure chance, a good looking hedgehog prince with blue fur and red shoes was running by when he heard the princess singing. He decided to jump over the walls and join her in a non-stalker matter. At first, the princess was surprised by this unexpected visitor singing with her but then she went along with it, falling in love with him in the process since this is a fairy tale and not real life.
Later on, King Baldy instructed a black and red hedgehog huntsman to kill Rose Pink, but he refused.
"This is not a good idea, Baldy," he began. "The princess is gentle and young at her age, and besides, this is what the previous king would never approve of."
"Do you want free access to beautiful Latinas or get sent to the dungeon!?" the evil king shouted.
"I don't care about either of those options but the dungeon will do me fine," the huntsman said in a planning tone. "Relationships and referencing dead memes are a waste of my time." Though once he was locked down in that smelly dungeon, he teleported out and found Rose Pink picking up daffodils with the good looking prince out of the picture. "Rose Pink, come with me to the forest," he said to the princess.
Once the hedgehogs took a walk in the forest and far away from the castle, the huntsman stopped. "Rose Pink, I have something I've got to tell you."
The princess was petting a skunk when she heard the huntsman speak. "Why?"
"There is a reason I'm walking you deep into this forest," the huntsman began. "The King wants you dead."
"B-but why?" Rose Pink said in surprise.
"The King was never a good person, Rose. He wants world domination and to be the most good looking being of all. He never loved you. Why do you think he forced you to be a maid? No good king would do that to his princess. Now I want you to do the one thing that the prince you saw earlier would do."
"What?" Rose Pink asked the huntsman.
"Run. Run away from here, Rose Pink, and never return," Sha-, I mean, the huntsman said. "Go."
Without asking any more questions, Rose Pink ran away from the huntsman and the opposite direction of the kingdom. The huntsman watched and sighed. He then skated off to find himself a rebellion organization with his rocket skates.
"They're air shoes."
Yeesh, sorry! Anyway, Rose Pink ran as fast as her heels would carry her, though she came across trees that she could've swore they had scary faces she would want to hit if she had a hammer. But after a couple minutes of her screaming at scary faces of trees and owls, she gave up, threw herself on the ground, and sobbed like a movie princess.
But that's when a bunch of forest animals surrounded her and a deer gave her a lick on the cheek. Rose Pink stood up with twigs and dirt in her hair and dress and laughed as the animals gave her comfort.
"You guys know how to cheer a girl up," she smiled. "But I need a place to lay low. Know a place?"
The animals lead Rose Pink to a lonely little cottage in the middle of nowhere. "That's perfect!" Rose Pink cried. "This will do greatly. Wonder if the residents would allow me to stay." But once she walked in, she saw the place was a mess. Cobwebs everywhere. Dishes piled up the sink. It was messier than a Sonic Boom game. "Ugh! Whoever lives here has never heard of cleanliness. Aha! Maybe if I clean this place up, they'll let me stay, if they don't mind, of course."
Rose Pink and the animals get right to work on cleaning the house. Rose Pink swept up the floor. Deer and racoons washed the dishes. Squirrels swept up cobwebs. Turtles and birds wipe up things like punching bags, futuristic technology, ninja weapons, and a safe. Rabbits wipe up the furniture. All while Rose Pink sang a tune while smiling. "Rachel Zegler, eat your heart out!" she grinned.
After everyone finished their chores, Rose Pink was led right up to a bedroom with seven little beds. "Aw, those beds are so cute! And those names on the beds, real classy." She yawned. "I hope the residents don't mind me sleeping on one of their beds." And she did.
Not far from the cottage was a mine being worked on by seven anthropomorphic animals: An red echidna named Punchy, a green crocodile named Greedy, a silver hedgehog named Timey, a lavender cat named Fiery, a big purple cat named Big, a purple chameleon named Meditatey, and a orange-yellow two-tailed fox named Smarty. Now these guys didn't do much. They dug and looked for emeralds and diamonds to pay their rent, much to Greedy's joy and despair. At the end of the day, the Mobians marched home, led by Punchy singing a song about going home and singing about going to work the next morning. They honestly should've lived as free as the wind like me.
Once the Mobians skipped their way home that night, they were surprised that their home had been cleaned up.
"What happened to our cobwebs?" Timey asked .
"Our dishes have been cleaned up!" exclaimed Big.
"There's something funny going on here!" claimed Greedy. Then the animals hear snoring.
"Somebody's here," said Smarty.
"Let's kick them out!" yelled Punchy, and they sprinted upstairs to their bedroom and their eyes widened as they saw Rose Pink sleeping.
"I-it's a girl," said Meditatey.
"Well, it's nice to see another girl," said Fiery.
Then Rose Pink stirred and woke up. The Mobians screamed and ran behind the bedroom door. "Wait! Wait! Don't be afraid!" Rose Pink claimed. "I'm nice! And I'm in some real trouble!"
"Likely story!" yelled Greedy.
"I'm serious! You see, I'm Rose Pink, and I'm…"
"The princess!?" the Mobians gasped.
"Yes, and I'm currently hiding away from the king. He wants to kill me! I didn't do anything wrong. I just acted like a sweet and spunky princess and the huntsman told me to run off and lay low, and that's why I'm here. Do you mind letting me stay here? I promise I'll cook for you and clean up for you and…"
"Oh heck, why not?" Punchy said. The Mobians looked at Punchy. "What? The princess is in peril and we can't just let her get killed by the maniac king. I know, he tricked me once. He's nothing but trouble the moment he came. We'll let you stay with us for a while. Right guys?"
Without hesitation, the Mobians agreed. Rose Pink thanked them for their hospitality and decided to make some fresh chili dogs for the Mobians, since she still has some energy left over.
….
"Chili dogs?" a Chao asked Sonic in Chao language.
"That's right," Sonic smiled. "Chili dogs!"
The Chao left grumbling, "You gotta be kidding me. Who greenlit this garbage?" in Chao language.
…
Meanwhile, King Baldy was infuriated at the huntsman pranking him by giving him a cow's heart and being told Rose Pink is still alive by the robots in the mirror. "Well, there's one way to get rid of Snow White…"
"Rose Pink, your majesty," the round robot said.
"Whatever," said the king as he marched downstairs and gathered up a disguise, some chemicals, and an apple. He mixes the chemicals and the apple together and puts them in a microwave. "I'll disguise myself as a poor old man and feed Rose Pink an apple. Then she'll go into a deep slumber forever. Hoo hoo hoo hoo! Genius, King Baldy, genius!"
"But what if Rose Pink has a love interest?" asked the cube robot. "True love's kiss and all."
"Pffft, like anyone would fall in love with someone who's covered in thorns and dirt and twigs and all of that," King Baldy said. "Animals are naturally ugly. You have to be…" Before Baldy could finish his hypocritical ranting, the microwave finished warming up the infected apple. "Hoo hoo hoo! It's ready! And now, for the disguise!" He placed an ugly nose, a white wig, and used a special chemical to make himself look older. "What do you think, my robotic reflections?"
"You look like you need to seek a royal advisor to help straighten you up," said the round robot.
King Baldy was offended by that comment. He kicked the mirror and it shattered into pieces.
"Oooh, seven years bad luck," the cubed robot quipped. King Baldy didn't care. He grabbed his basket full of apples and went on his way towards the cottage.
"Well, our work here is done," the round robot said sarcastically. "We should've auditioned for Treasure Island."
"Maybe we should be in a video game or something," the cubed robot said.
Meanwhile, Rose Pink and the 7 Mobians (Heh! Roll credits.) chatted after having a party.
"You know, I have been thinking about the prince I met earlier today and I wonder if he's gonna find me and take me away," she sighed.
"I'm sure your love interest would find you, my friend," Meditatey said calmly. "You just have to be patient with him."
"Yeah, he's not psychic," Greedy said. "He's just wanting some money so he can live a life of luxury or something. I would've done the same thing. And maybe get a girl of my own. Covered in money, of course."
"I wouldn't think about it too much, your highness," Smarty smiled. "When you said you were raised to be a maid beyond your consent, I felt terrible. Once you get your prince, who sounds like a really cool guy, you can finally do what you want to do.
"Rose Pink is fine," the princess smiled. "And what would be that thing I wanted to do besides falling in love?"
"Well, you've already spread kindness and love by cleaning up our cottage and making us supper," Fiery said. "You can do that, but with other folks."
"I agree with Fiery," Punchy said. "You're great at spreading love towards others. That's pretty much your talent. It's not like being super strong or time traveling or anything, but it's something the world needs more of."
Rose Pink thought for a moment. "I guess you're all right." She yawned. "Man, am I sleepy."
"Aren't we all?" added Timey. "You can sleep in my bed since you're the same size as most of us. I'll sleep on the ground. That's fine."
"Are you sure?" asked Rose Pink.
"Sure," Timey answered.
"Well, off to sleep," said Punchy. "Goodnight guys."
The next morning, the 7 Mobians all get ready to go back to work. Rose Pink watched them getting ready.
"Now remember," Greedy said in a serious voice. "Don't let anyone else invade this space, okay? We take home invasions seriously."
"I can tell," Rose Pink giggled and kissed his nose. "Now you go on now."
"Don't get cute!" Greedy yelled blushing as he marched off with an axe in hand like the other Mobians. Rose Pink waved as she watched them leave, Then she decided to make pies with help from her forest animal friends. Yeah, remember them? They're gonna help her make pies. Very unsanitary.
Anyway, as Rose Pink was waiting for a pie to get done, she heard knocking on the door. She answered it and King Baldy, disguised, was there with his basket full of apples.
"Why, hello, little girl," the "ugly old man" grinned. "How would you like to buy some of my apples? They're 4 Mobiums a pound. Guaranteed to make all of your dreams come true." How pathetic.
"Uh, I'm sorry. Apples aren't really my thing," Rose Pink said politely. "I'm more into strawberries."
The "ugly old man" pretended not to hear that. "Oh, but apples are great for the old soul. After all, an apple day keeps a prin...I mean...doctor away, I always say. Come on. At least take one. Specifically, this one!" He pointed to the poisoned apple, looking a lot like a normal healthy apple.
"Why that one?" Rose Pink asked.
"This bad boy here is a magical apple," the "old man" explained. "Guaranteed to make you see the thing you want the most! How would I know? A friend of mine who is a wizard who knew Arthur back in the day and he knew Erazor Djinn too. He's immortal after all."
Rose Pink fell for the trap like a knucklehead did and picked up the apple. "Well, I guess one bite wouldn't hurt." She took a bite, felt dizzy, and fell asleep on the ground. Baldy grinned.
"HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO! NOW I AM THE MOST GOOD LOOKING OF THEM ALL! And I played the trick fairly too!" he laughed. Uh, no you didn't. "Hush up, you!" Well, Baldy ran away cackling hysterically.
Meanwhile, the forest animals, who saw everything, sprinted towards the Mobians and told them what was happening. "Oh no. Not the king!" growled Punchy.
"He's not gonna get away with this," added Big.
"Let's get him!" yelled Greedy!
As the 7 Mobians followed the animals towards Baldy, they all prayed that nothing bad happened to Rose Pink, especially Greedy. As they gave chase, Baldy dashed towards a giant wooden robot and jumped into it.
Now a climax isn't a climax without a battle, so it was now 7 Mobians and a bunch of forest animals vs. a giant wooden robot. What shall they do? Well, that's when the prince from earlier darted in and helped them out. How did he know about all of this? Well, he may have a rivalry with the king himself.
And then the huntsman's army came in, consisting of a bat, a hawk, a robot, a racoon, an albatross, a swallow, and two rabbits who are a mother and a daughter. They all battled the giant robot and of course, they've won.
"Who are you supposed to be?" Punchy asked the prince.
"Prince Speedy, of course," said the daring prince. "And I'm looking for a girl in a red and white dress by the name of Rose Pink? We were supposed to meet today, but she wasn't there. And plus, I couldn't miss fighting that pile of rotten wood and the Eggster controlling it."
"Oooh! I hate those Mobians, I hate fairy tale climaxes, and I hate that hedgehog!" the king wailed as he was knocked dead by a hammer, courtesy of Smarty.
Once the crew got back, they fashioned a golden bed for poor Rose Pink. The 7 sad Mobians cried their eyes out for the only woman who ever came into their lives, er, except Fiery but you know what I mean. Prince Speedy sighed sadly and did the only thing I would never do to my love interests if I had any, and that is kissing the corpse. Speedy sighed and cried as well as his crew looked over.
Then something began to happen. Rose Pink's emerald green eyes opened slowly, rose up, and looked over to her sad friends. "Guys?"
The gang raised their heads and smiled widely, even the prince. They hugged the now free-from-her-spell princess, heh, even the prince.
"You all saved me from my eternal slumber!" the grateful princess smiled.
"Oh yeah! We took down that awful king and his robots bolt by bolt!" Greedy said, wagging his crocodile tail.
"Yes, you don't have to deal with that creep any longer! We showed him who's boss!" Prince Speedy added. Rose Pink looked at Speedy, ran up to him, and kissed him on the lips and all over his handsome looking face like the energetic girl she was. "Heh! You're welcome, Rose Pink!"
"So what now?" Timey asked.
"Well, since the king is dead and that there is no other heir to the throne, there is only one option we have," the huntsman said and everyone looked at Rose Pink.
The princess rubbed her back. "Well, I don't know… I never really had the training to be a good ruler. The nasty king treated me like a slave after all."
"If you ask me, I think you already have the makings of a good ruler," Big said.
"Just like what we talked about last night, Rose," Smarty said. "You are kind. You are patient. And you spread love everywhere you go! You are perfect for the job! Oh, and by the way, I made this at the mines this morning!" He gave the princess the hammer he used. "This bad boy crushes any enemy and symbolizes your strength and how hard you hit us with your kindness."
"Oh, thank you!" Rose Pink cried, swinging her new hammer. "This is perfect! Now as the soon-to-be queen of this kingdom, I declare we undo everything the evil king has done, and then me and my prince will be married, since this is a fairy tale after all!"
Everyone cheered and hugged the princess again, without asking any questions. And Rose Pink was true to her word. She did it all and a little bit more. She and her friends cleaned up the kingdom and reversed the bad. And as for her prince Speedy, well, let's just say a ceremony and a reception was held, with all of their family and friends witnessing both! And they, of course, lived happily ever after!
….
"And that was the story of Rose Pink and the Seven Mobians!" Sonic smiled. Then his eyes widened as he saw Knuckles, Tails, Vector, Big, Silver, Blaze, Vector, Espio, Cream, Shadow, and Amy surround him.
"Not a bad story, Sonic, but maybe you could have this story not sound stupid in parts?" Vector asked.
"Guys!? What are you doing here!?" Sonic asked.
"Cheese told me that you were telling a story, Mr. Sonic," Cream said.
"And Cream told all of us and we rushed here, just in time for the story to end," Tails continued.
"So Sonic, who is this Rose Pink person based on?" Amy asked, fluttering her eyelids.
"Punchy seems cool, but he's definitely not me," Knuckles commented.
"Shouldn't I be the princess?" Blaze asked. "I am one after all."
"Maybe next time, Blaze," Silver said.
"Anything you'd like to add, Shadow?" Tails asked.
"No," said Shadow. "Just comprehending the story, and while I do appreciate being the huntsman, I would've loved to have more action."
"Come on, Shadow. Not every fairy tale needs that much action." Sonic explained.
"You should publish it!" exclaimed Amy. "Then people can hear that version of Snow White!"
"Not a bad idea, Ames, but I'm gonna stick to running," Sonic shrugged. "Oh, speaking of which, I'm late for my afternoon run! Later!" Sonic dashed off, leaving his friends with the Chaos.
"Well, how about we make our own versions of classic fairy tales?" asked Tails. "Like I could reenact Treasure Island and make it futuristic."
"Not a bad idea, Tails, but I was thinking about a story about a wooden crocodile who wants to be a real croc so he can get money to pay his rent," Vector said.
"Me and Shadow could reenact Romeo and Juliet!" Amy smiled. Shadow declined the idea.
Our Mobian friends discussed ideas for their own takes on classic stories and that's where we would leave them. Home from work this author goes!
The End
And that was Rose Pink and the Seven Mobians, the Sonic the Hedgehog take on Snow White. This idea came to me as I was watching Disney's 1937 Snow White movie (and to an extent, the SpongeBob episode Snow Yellow and the Seven Jellies) to prepare myself for the live action remake with Rachel Zegler as the title character. I wanted the characters to be a mix between their normal characterizations with their characterizations of the characters they were supposed to represent. Hope I did well making you guys smile with this take on the classic fairy tale.
If you like silly takes on fairy tales, check out my other fairy tale story Lola-rella, which tells the Cinderella story with The Loud House characters through the perspective of Lola Loud.
I do not claim ownership of any of these characters. They were made by SEGA.
