"You know it's rude to leave without saying goodbye."

From somewhere in the hangar, a familiar voice calls out. The sound is unmistakably female, but it's not the digitized voice of his virtual assistant that Edward is used to. Alarmed by the unexpected intrusion, the Riddler looks up to find Selina Kyle staring back at him from up in the steel trusses of his ceiling.

Bathed in moonlight, the Cat in black creeps quietly across an exposed support beam toward his bedroom loft. Though he loses sight of her, Edward can hear the soft thud of her feet as she lands somewhere above him. In a moment, Selina reappears, descending the staircase to come join him.

"How did you... But my alarms." He stares at her baffled. "How did you slip past my defenses?"

His hangar is like a fortress, surrounded by Gatlin guns, electromagnetic energy fields, and all manner of hideous traps. Not that he's paranoid, but he takes the protection of his hideout, not to mention his own personal privacy, very seriously. How she managed to sneak through unharmed, and without the use of her gear? Selina's wearing nothing more than that same skimpy, little black dress from the party and a strappy pair of purple patent leather pumps. No catsuit. No goggles. Not even a pair of gloves.

And speaking of gloves, Edward quickly tosses her pilfered pair aside. He discretely places a throw pillow atop them to hide the evidence from sight.

"How do you even know where I live?" He demands.

Realizing he's in his underwear, Edward grabs a second pillow and covers his lap.

"Oh, please. You give me far too little credit, Eddie." Is all the Cat is willing to divulge. Hands on her hips, Selina scans the room. "Love the place, by the way. Very... industrial hipster."

"Hipster?" He finds offense.

Removing her heels, Selina takes a seat on the couch beside him and bends to rub her sore feet.

"There is a door, you know." Edward laughs. "Can't be easy scaling a big metal box in high heels."

"No, but I make it look good." Settling into a lounge, Selina crosses her legs and makes herself comfortable. "Besides, doors are overrated. Rooftops are so much more fun."

"Sounds exhilarating." He quips, eyes glued to her legs. "Remind me to watch the security footage later."

"Don't bother. I cut the feed."

"And I'm guessing you also hacked my alarm system?"

"Mhhm." She hums, running her fingers through her tousled hair. "So, what are you watching?"

She's so completely casual about breaking into his hideout. Like it's no big deal to her. And it's not. To the Catwoman, it's an absolutely normal thing to do. There hasn't been a single door or window built that could keep that woman out. Except the walls Edward has constructed around his heart are far more impenetrable than those of his home.

Clearing his throat, Ed moves his eyes away from her legs and back towards the big screen. Not that he's all that interested in the programming, but he's not about to let his heart and hormones be misled again.

The Riddler had spent the better part of a very long and sobering walk home questioning the Cat's motives. Sure it was fun while it lasted, but women don't exactly tend to throw themselves at him in such an amorous fashion. Not unless they want something. And let's be honest, it's never him they really want.

Since when has Selina shown even an ounce of interest in him? Sexually or otherwise? No doubt she needs him for a job or information or something else along those lines. Not a booty call. Or whatever this is.

"Selina dear, what are you doing?" Ed wonders suspiciously. "It's the middle of the night."

Forget about how she found him or how she broke in, what he really wants to know is why. Why the hassle? Why bother? And what does she want from him? That's when he notices the white plastic bag in her possession.

Bending forward, Selina grabs the shopping bag off the floor and places it in her lap. She opens it up and pulls out a small paper dessert plate wrapped in foil.

"I saved you a slice of cake." She offers him the treat.

Accepting the plate, Edward's reminded of a cat bringing its master the remains of some poor dead animal. It was sweet of her to think of him, but he really didn't want any cake.

"Thanks?" He places the foiled dessert down on the coffee table. "But you really shouldn't have gone to the trouble."

Not only the trouble of traveling several blocks across town, but also the trouble of breaking into his domicile, all for one lousy piece of birthday cake. Edward's as touched as he is suspicious.

"Oh, it was no trouble." Selina returns her attention to the bag. "I stopped by a Duane Reade on the way."

Edward raises an auburn eyebrow in curiosity.

He'd mentioned knocking over a pharmacy on the way back to his place to knock boots, but Selina had made it crystal clear she wasn't into the idea. And yet, sure enough, the Cat removes a small box from out of the bag and tosses it at him. It lands atop the throw pillow on his lap with a clunk.

Completely baffled, Edward stares down at the box of prophylactics.

"But I thought you didn't like my plan." He says in disbelief.

"Oh, no. Robbing a pharmacy is without a doubt a dumb idea." Selina replies frankly, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "Not to mention, a complete waste of my talents. I paid."

"But you don't pay for anything." Edward reminds her of their conversation from earlier. "Your words."

"Ok, you're right. I didn't pay. You did." Rolling her eyes, she corrects herself. "I lifted a twenty from your wallet."

Chin to the ceiling, Edward rests his head against the back of the couch. He rubs the heels of his palms into his tired eyes and something inside him just snaps.

"Of course, you did!" Edward cackles.

And why wouldn't she?

Selina probably had one hand in his pocket the entire time the other was down his trousers. At least that explains her sudden interest in him. She's got him pegged for an easy mark. And here he hoped that maybe, just maybe she actually liked him. He was a fool to ever think otherwise.

"Can I at least get my change?"

Just for arguments sake, Edward holds out his hand and rather unexpectedly Selina returns the rest of his money. A whole dime and a couple of pennies.

"That's it?" He questions, fiddling with the loose change in the palm of his hand.

"Well there was the taxi. Tip. Oh... And the box of chocolates." The Cat smirks playfully. "By the way, you owe me flowers."

"I owe you..." Once again, Ed bursts into mad laughter.

"You think I'm being funny?" Selina crosses her arms in front of her rather ample chest.

"I think I'm waiting for the bucket of pigs blood to fall on my head." He returns sarcastically.

"What?"

"It's from... Never mind." Taking a deep breath, Edward collects himself. "Look. Selina. Dearest. WHAT are you doing here? Really? Have you come to steal from me? Is that it? Pretend you want to sleep with me, and then what? Rob me blind as I'm passed out on the couch? Pilfer all my dirty secrets and sell me out to the Bat? Please, I'm just dying to know."

Speechless, the Cat glares at him while Ed continues on with his tirade.

"If you'd be so kind as to answer this riddle for me, kitten, then maybe I can finally get to sleep." He whines in a very snotty Riddler sort of way. "Forget this whole night ever happened."

Wound up like a ball of string, Edward's tired of being toyed with. He's tired of having his heart and his head messed around with. But more than anything, he's just too damn tired. And he's not exactly his best self when he's not thinking straight.

"Or better yet, fine!" He exclaims. "Let's do this!"

Edward removes the pillow from his lap and crudely grabs his crotch.

"Step right up! Don't be shy." A vulgar Riddler harkens back to his days as a carny. "What do you say, pussy cat? Wanna go for a ride on the bumper cars?"

With a look of disgust, Selina glares at the man clad in black and green boxer shorts.

"You know something, Edward." She hisses back at him. "You're a big fucking idiot."

Grabbing her shoes from the floor, the Cat stands to leave and heads straight towards the door.