# And She Doesn't Understand

Little_Katie_Bug09

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 19/10/2006
Last Updated: 19/10/2006
Status: Completed

Pain. It’s all she feels, the only thing that seems to be real in the world. Her heart is broken beyond repair, and there’s absolutely nothing in the world she can do about it.

## 1. untitled

And She Doesn't Understand

A/N: This is just a one-shot, written to sort out my own thoughts about the unfairness of life, and to alleviate my irrational fears that this will happen to my own “Harry.”

She walks slowly in the falling rain, not feeling the piercing drops that trickle down the opening of her snow-white coat on to her bare shoulders.

Pain.

It's all she feels, the only thing that seems to be real in the world. Her heart is broken beyond repair, and there's absolutely nothing in the world she can do about it.

It's unfair, she thinks. All in white, she compares herself to a fallen dove; she only loved and wanted what was best. But she had been mercilessly shot down, and there was nothing in the world that could mend her broken spirit.

“Have you heard what happened in the Astronomy Tower?”

“What happened?” Hermione said, a heavy feeling in her heart.

“Well, Harry and Ginny were…”

Hermione closed her eyes and breathed deeply, not wanting to hear what the two had been caught doing. After all, Ginny was the slut of the school, and Harry…

Her eyes slam shut in an attempt to kill a fresh wave of tears. It is useless; she feels the warm droplets oozing down her face alongside the cold rain droplets. At least nobody would know she was crying, not that there was anyone around to care.

And she doesn't understand.

She puts a slender, porcelain hand over her heart, wishing that that simple gesture could take away her hurt—and her love.

Suddenly, her memories begin playing like a picture show. In first year, he became her friend, in second year, he became her hero, in third year he became her closest confidante. In fourth year, she loved him, and in fifth year, she realized that her heart's deepest desire was to marry him, to spend her life with him by her side…

Harry's piercing green eyes looked longingly into hers.

“Hermione,” he breathed, and her heart almost stopped with ecstasy. No one could say her name that beautifully, excepting him. He reached out and touched her cheek lightly, and suddenly, it was like a voice spoke to her heart.

“Don't be afraid to love him, Hermione. You have a great hope that he may love you, too, someday.”

And she knew that she wanted to spend her life with him, to never be let out of his safe, comforting arms.

But now, those dreams and desires are nothing more than dust in the wind. Her dreams are over, and all that is left is a hollow shell of a girl.

And she doesn't understand.

She loves him, though she begs her heart to stop yearning for his presence. She wants to hate him for what he's done.

He was supposed to be hers. They were supposed to have a beautiful life together, happy and carefree. Sure, trials would come, but they would face them hand in hand.

But he had thrown it all away for a girl.

When they had started dating, she had been a little afraid, but trusted him enough to know that they wouldn't do anything, wouldn't go too far. But despite her trust in him, he had given it away.

She closes her eyes tighter, not wanting to think about how hurt she was, not wanting to think about how he lost his virginity…

And she doesn't understand.

Her main issue is that, crazy as it seems, he was supposed to wait for her. The two of them were supposed to wait for each other, until they were married. She was supposed to be the only one he was ever with, and he, her. Yet, she had been carelessly ignored, and no matter what happened between them, she knows she will always be compared with her.

If only she had told him she wanted to spend her life with him, if only she had told him to break up with her, if only she hadn't been too much of a coward… A million “if only's” played through her mind.

And she doesn't understand.

She puts her slender hands around her neck, and gives a whimper of pain as the thunder booms. Not caring about the mud, she lets her knees give way, and she sinks to the ground, pounding her fists into the soft clay and letting her tears fall faster, the dancing lightning and the roaring thunder her only acquaintances.

She had been so certain that he was the one specially made for her, but she apparently was wrong. All her dreams and hopes are shattered, and she feels as though there is no future for her.

And she doesn't understand.

A/N: Yeah, I know, it was really kinda short, but I needed to write it. Please review!

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