# Brooms and Babies

tiredone

Rating: PG
Genres: Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 30/04/2004
Last Updated: 30/04/2004
Status: Completed

A humorous tirade at just how far rumors can go when you combine quidditch, kneazles, and a lot of butterbeer. Yes, I know the title is cheesy. It's late, and I'm tired. So deal with it. One shot

## 1. Brooms and Babies

Title: Brooms and Babies

Disclaimer: I don’t own HP.

Setting: A few years after graduation.

Author’s Notes: I honestly wish I could take credit for coming up with such an entertaining plot. But once more, this concept belongs to my friends at SSB. Yeah, the title is cheesy, but it’s 3 a.m. and I’m tired.

Hermione and Ginny

Hermione Granger swept into the Leaky Cauldron, her frizzy brown hair bouncing lightly as she drew back the hood of her cloak, muttering something under her breath about sudden rain showers. Her mahogany gaze flickered over the occupants, searching for a brief moment before she found the other party to her lunchtime appointment. A smile spread across the twenty-year-old’s features as she made her way across the dark room.

Ginny Weasley looked up, her bright eyes flashing with warmth as her friend sat down across from her. “Honestly, Hermione, did you consider that you should have just apparated?” the youngest Weasley chided lightly, watching as her friend wrung out her wet cloak.

“Yes, well I felt like stretching my legs, and I was in a part of muggle London. The last thing I would have needed is to bring the Ministry of Magic on my case.”

Ginny smiled, pushing a mug of butterbeer towards Hermione. “I thought you could use one of these.”

“Thanks, Ginny,” Hermione said, relief flooding her features. She paused a moment, savoring the moment of warmth of the liquid sliding down her throat. She and Ginny sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Hermione finally spoke again. “I finally figured out what was wrong with your kneazle.”

Ginny’s head perked up, her blue eyes wide. “Miss Know-It-All?”

Hermione cringed. “I wish you wouldn’t call her that. I don’t find it funny at all.”

The younger witch giggled lightly. “Ron named her.” At Hermione’s rolled eyes she continued. “He never really forgave me for Pig’s name. And now Missy won’t answer to anything else.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, I just thought you should know that Missy is pregnant.”

Ginny’s jaw dropped. “But … but I just got her. She’s just a baby! She can’t be pregnant.”

“Yes, well, she’s obviously a bit older than you thought,” Hermione smirked lightly. “Fred and George never really said where they got her, did they?”

“No, they didn’t,” Ginny sighed. “I guess it’s too late to do anything now.”

Hermione gave her friend a sympathetic smile. She glanced at her watch, her eyes widening. “Oh no. It’s almost 1 o’clock. I’m supposed to meet Fred and George to discuss Ron’s Christmas present.”

“The broom?”

“Of course. We all put in some Galleons. Now he won’t be trying to borrow Harry’s anymore.”

Ginny grinned. “Does Harry even know?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Of course not. He’d go blabbing to Ron the second he found out. You know how those two are.”

The youngest Weasley nodded. “Yes, I know. Have fun picking out a broom.”

“With Fred and George?” Hermione grinned as she stood up. “This should be very interesting.”

And with that, she headed out the door.

Neville and Ginny

Neville Longbottom gave Hermione a wave as she passed him on her way out of the Leaky Cauldron. A grin spread across the wizard’s face as he saw his girlfriend sitting in the corner. He began making his way to Ginny’s table.

Unbeknownst to him, Draco Malfoy entered shortly after him. Draco’s eyes narrowed when he saw the two Gryffindors sitting at the corner table. For a second he was tempted to take a seat on the other side of the room. But Neville and Ginny looked to be in such earnest conversation that Draco suppressed his disgust and carefully sat in a table just within earshot. One never knew when one could gather a useful piece of gossip and turn it to their advantage.

“No, I don’t believe it! Miss-Know-It-All is pregnant?” Neville said in a hushed whisper. Immediately the Slytherin’s ears perked up. Know it all? Draco knew only one former Hogwarts student who could fit that description. But why would Neville be talking about Hermione like that? The mudblood must have done something to get him angry recently. At any rate, Draco tilted his head, eager to hear more of the conversation.

“Yes, I know,” Ginny said quietly. “I couldn’t believe it myself. I mean, she’s not even showing yet, so it must have happened recently. Maybe in the past week or two.”

This was rich, Draco thought. Granger was pregnant. It was almost repulsive to think that someone had bedded that mudblood. Had to have been a Gryffindor. Probably Potter.

“Do you know who the father is?” Neville whispered seriously, and Draco’s head arched to the side.

“Well, I’m not sure,” Ginny said. “But it can’t be that hard to figure out, can it? There are only two possibilities, really.”

Neville nodded. He remembered the two alley cats that kept hanging around Ginny’s flat. Ginny had a big heart and couldn’t bear to turn them away, so she often left a bit of milk in a saucer for them outside. They’d come around every day since then.

Draco, meanwhile, was positively beside himself with evil jubilation. Two possibilities. Either Potter or Weasley had bedded Granger, and it was likely that the other didn’t know. This left so many interesting opportunities for Draco to explore; he wasn’t sure where to begin.

Perhaps he’d make a trip to the Ministry. He had a few friends there that he could spill this information to. With the way Pansy gossiped, it’d be known in all over town in no time.

Draco, Pansy, and Colin

Colin Creevey eagerly wandered around the Ministry of Magic, looking for any photograph opportunities for tomorrow’s edition of the Daily Prophet. He was the new photographer apprentice for the wizard newspaper. The pay wasn’t great, and he often worked long hours, but he loved his job.

He had just walked past a row of cubicles when he spotted Draco Malfoy talking to Pansy Parkinson. He was about to sidestep the two – he never really liked them during the time he’d gone to the same school, and Colin made it a good point to avoid Slytherins.

But something about the glint in Pansy’s eye told Colin not to leave. The photographer in him heard Pansy’s delighted squeal and he quickly ducked behind a cubicle.

“She’s pregnant and she doesn’t know who the father is?!? This is too scandalous,” she said, an evil glint in her eye. “I love it!”

Colin’s eyes widened and he pressed his back against the cubicle, his eyes widened. Who was pregnant? he wondered.

“Ginny said she thinks it’s Ron or Potter. Think about it, they’re the only two wizards who would be stupid enough to sleep with that mudblood.”

Colin’s eyes widened. They were talking about Hermione! This was big news! His heart fell a bit. Not the kind of news for the Daily Prophet though. But still, this could cause a lot of problems for the wizarding world’s favorite trio.

While Colin knew that it was really not his place to get involved, he thought it would be better for Ron and Harry to hear the news from a Gryffindor rather than from a Slytherin.

Colin quickly crept off while the two Slytherins continued talking. He had to get back to the office and tell someone who could break the news to Harry and Ron quietly.

Colin, Lee, and Rita

Rita sat at her desk, dictating her latest story to the magical typewriter that sat on her desk. She sighed, glancing out of the door to her office. Without a juicy story, her reputation was beginning to falter. She needed a controversy to cover, and soon, or she’d be stuck on the weekly fashion beat for the rest of her career.

And what a horrible place to be, she thought, throwing her quill on her desk. Just then, Colin, the new photographer brat, and Lee Jordan, a rookie from the magical sports writing department, strolled past her door. They were speaking in hushed tones, but Rita was just able to make out a few words as they walked past the door of her office.

“…pregnant…fathers…” Colin muttered in a low tone. Immediately Rita’s eyes sparkled. A story, finally. And a good one, by the sound of it.

Rita jerked the self-feeding paper from her typewriter, quickly rising to her feet and grabbing her quick quotes quill and notepad. She followed behind Colin and Lee, careful not to seem like she was following as the two wizards made their way to the break room. She paused outside the door, listening as the two sat down at one of the small tables that furnished the windowless room.

“And she has no idea who the father is?” Lee’s voice called out incredulously. “I don’t know. That doesn’t seem like Hermione.”

Rita couldn’t have been any happier if the Minister of Magic himself got caught embezzling funds. Granger, pregnant. And with no clue who the father was. This would be the perfect opportunity to pay back that little wench for ruining her career. Rita narrowed her eyes in glee, and tilted her head to the side, listening closer.

“Look, someone needs to tell Harry and Ron. Draco Malfoy seemed all too happy to spread the news around, and think of what it would do to them if they found out from a bloody Slytherin.”

“Okay, I’ll go see Ron. But he’s not going to like this,” Lee said.

Rita’s eyes glittered. This was the opportunity she was waiting for. Quickly she stepped away from the break room, making her way to the office. She’d have to move quickly if she wanted to get a quote from the ever-elusive Harry Potter.

Lee, Ron, and Molly

Molly Weasley stood in her kitchen, watching as the knives began slicing the onions for the stew she was preparing. Her nose was leveled in her old, battered copy of 101 Quick Magical Recipes as she thumbed down the list of ingredients.

“Let’s see, one head of cabbage…” she muttered to herself as she heard a door slam shut. Absently she pulled her head out of the book and called out. “Ron, dear? Is that you?”

“Uh, hi Mrs. Weasley,” Lee Jordan, the twin’s friend, called out from the living room. Molly arched an eyebrow and poked her head into the sitting area. Fred and George weren’t home, and Lee rarely came around unless the twins were there.

Come to think of it, the young wizard appeared rather distracted, Molly thought to herself, her forehead furrowing in concern. “Is something wrong, dear?”

Lee blushed, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “Oh, nothing’s wrong,” he said a bit too quickly to be convincing. “Is Ron here?”

Molly arched an eyebrow, but said nothing else. She glanced at her clock, noting that Ron’s hand was on “Home,” and pointed upstairs. “He’s in his room, dear.”

Lee nodded quickly and disappeared up the steps before Molly could say another word. Molly frowned, hesitating just a moment before she started up the steps after him. If Ron was in trouble, it was best she knew about it. She was his mother after all.

Molly paused outside Ron’s bedroom door, listening quietly.

”What?!?” she heard Ron’s startled voice scream out before he was hushed by Lee. Molly frowned, tilting her head even more. It was clear something was wrong.

“I know, but he heard it himself. Colin wouldn’t make any of that up. You know how he idolizes Harry.”

Molly frowned. So the trouble wasn’t with her boy, it was with Harry. She started to turn down the steps when Ron’s next proclamation stopped her dead in her tracks.

“Bu…bu…she can’t be pregnant!”

Molly froze, her eyes widening. Pregnant? Molly felt her heart flutter and she closed her eyes, praying that it was not one of her children that was in trouble.

“So then you and Hermione have … um…” Lee’s voice trailed off, not at all certain how to finish the sentence. Molly felt her face turn a bright crimson. She tightened her grip on the wand. Ronald Weasley, how could you? It took all of Molly’s self control to keep from marching in the room and jinxing Ron. She and Arthur had raised him better than that, she was certain.

“Of course not,” Ron said heatedly, and Molly released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Harry is the one who fancied her. They both like each other, they just don’t want to admit it yet. I’ve been on their case for ages.”

Oh dear. Harry and Hermione. Poor dears. Molly felt an odd stirring of disappointment and relief flood her body. She had not expected such behavior out of the two non-Weasley’s she considered to be like her own children. Poor Hermione must be beside herself, Molly thought.

“So then it’s Harry?” Lee interjected. “Ron, you need to talk to Harry. Colin said Draco sounded like he was going to spread the information over town!”

Molly’s eyes widened as she quickly made her way down the steps. She had to speak to poor Hermione. She really was such a sensitive girl, and she would be devastated if the news became public that she had a child out of wedlock with Harry Potter.

Rita , Harry, and Colin

“Good job, Harry,” Oliver Wood called out, angling his broom towards the grass. Harry Potter wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his Puddlemere United robes, wishing that for once he’d be able to practice in a t-shirt and jeans. Professional Quidditch practices were intense.

Harry angled the nose of his Firebolt 3000 down to the ground, slowly settling on the soft grass that made up the floor of the practice pitch. He jogged towards Oliver, tucking his broom under his left arm and tossing the snitch to him.

“Your fastest catch yet, Harry,” Wood said excitedly. “Keep that up and pretty soon you’ll get off the reserve bench in no time.”

Harry stifled a grin. He’d been accepted as a reserve seeker onto the Puddlemere team after Hogwarts, but he’d had no idea that their regular seeker, a wizard named Avery, would have fallen off his broom and broken his arm so soon after he’d arrived. He’d been effectively placed out of commission, resulting in Harry getting more game time than he’d ever dreamed possible.

“Uh oh,” Oliver said, nodding in the distance. Harry turned and grimaced when he saw Rita Skeeter waddling towards him.

”What does she want this time?” Harry groaned. Rita seemed to solicit quotes from Harry on issues that had nothing to do with Quidditch or anything else Harry knew about. It was rather annoying.

“Want me to cover for you, Harry?” Oliver asked. Harry sighed and shook his head.

“She’d just follow me home. Better to get this over with.”

Oliver gave Harry a sympathetic look as Harry trudged towards the nosy reporter.

“Hello Harry,” Rita said with a sickly sweetness that almost made Harry gag. “I heard the news, congratulations.”

Harry frowned, deep in thought. Had she heard that he was going to be seeker during the Cannons game this weekend? Had to be, Harry could think of no other news that would have been important enough to make the paper.

“Uh, thanks,” he said, and for a moment an uncomfortable silence fell between the two. Rita kept nodding her head, a goofy grin plastered across her face as if she knew something Harry didn’t. He found it very alarming.

“So what did you first think when you heard the big news? Excited? Scared?” Rita’s quill hovered over her notepad.

Harry frowned. “Well, I guess I was a little scared,” he admitted, knowing that Rita would twist any of the words that came out of his mouth. “I wasn’t expecting to play so soon, but I’m thrilled.”

Play, Rita thought. Interesting choice of words. Perhaps Harry had no intention then of marrying Hermione? Oh well, it was not her place to question. If Harry didn’t want to get involved with Hermione, it would only add new depth to her story. Potter thinks fatherhood a game. Interesting headline.

“How do you think Ron will react?” Rita asked.

Harry’s brows furrowed. Ron? What did he have to do with this story? True, he did play reserve keeper for the Cannons, but he always said he’d be happy to have the chance to play against Harry in a match. If he ever made it off the bench, that was.

“Ron? I haven’t told him yet. But I think he’ll be happy. He was always thought I was good enough, I guess. He was a bit disappointed I didn’t get to play sooner.”

Rita raised her eyebrows. “Interesting,” she said, her eyes narrowing. Then a flash of insight. “What do you mean he always thought you were good enough?”

Harry frowned, getting an odd feeling that he and Rita were distinctly not talking about the same thing. He shrugged it off. Rita was always a bit odd. “Well yes,” Harry said, wishing he could go to the locker room and change. “Ron and I practiced a lot, you know, with the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.”

Rita’s eyes widened. The entire Gryffindor Quidditch Team? This story was getting better and better. “Indeed, so you’d say you’re … experienced at this thing?” Rita queried, a sly grin crossing her face. “Have you … played … with lots of girls?” Rita’s mind was spinning with possible headlines.

This interview was getting weirder and weirder. “Well, yah,” Harry said, trying to formulate an escape route. “Ginny was there during sixth and seventh years, and there was Katie and Alicia during the first few years.”

“Indeed,” Rita said, writing furiously. She glanced down at her notepad and back up at Harry. “What do you think your parents would say?”

Harry frowned. His parents? What did that matter in the upcoming game? “Well,” Harry said reluctantly. “I think my dad would be proud.” At Rita’s raised eyebrow, he quickly added. “He did it too, you know.”

Rita’s eyes sparkled. “Did he now? So it’s a family tradition then?”

Harry shrugged. “I guess so…look, is this going to last a lot longer? I really need to go.” He started edging away, eager to head to the locker room.

Rita grinned. “Of course. You must be exhausted. Thank you for answering my questions.”

Then she left.

Harry sighed in relief, and was about to head into the locker room when someone ran into him from behind.

“Harry, thank goodness I found you,” Colin said very quickly. “I was hoping to reach you before you found out about from someone else.”

Harry frowned. This day was getting weirder and weirder. “Found out about what?”

Colin’s eyes widened as he struggled to catch his breath. He glanced around quickly, as if to reassure himself that no one would overhear, and then whispered very quickly.

“Hermioneispregnant” all his words jumbled up into one long phrase with no pauses.

Harry frowned, trying to separate the phrases when Colin’s words finally dawned on him. Harry felt his heart skip a beat and he took a step back from Colin. Hermione? Pregnant? No, no way this could happen. Not Hermione.

“How did you find this out,” Harry said, his eyes narrowing. Colin gulped and took a step back.

“I was at the Ministry when I heard Draco and Pansy talking. He said he overheard it from Ginny!”

Harry’s heart fell. Ginny wouldn’t have lied. He closed his eyes, trying to fight off the waves of emotion that spread over his body. He’d waited to long to tell her how he felt, and now she’d found someone else. How could he have missed this though? Was Hermione trying to keep her dates a secret from him? Was this how low she thought of him?

Harry opened his eyes, staring at Colin. “I … did she say who the father was?”

Colin’s eyes widened. “No clue. But she seemed pretty convinced it was you or Ron.” The young photographer frowned. “If it’s not you then…”

Green eyes blazed in anger as Harry’s gaze narrowed. “Ron?” He felt a surge of anger pulse in his body. Ron knew how Harry felt. How could he betray him like this? How could Hermione do this to him? Had they been keeping their relationship a secret this entire time?

Colin looked at Harry in sympathy as he stormed off, no doubt going to confront his friend.

Molly and Hermione

Hermione frowned as she heard the knock on her door, wrapping the towel around her hair as she quickly pulled on her informal robes. She rarely had visitors at this time of the evening unless it was Harry or Ron, and usually neither of them bothered knocking before they entered her flat. Hermione made her way to the door, her eyes widening when she saw a grim-faced Molly Weasley standing on her doorstep.

“Mrs. Weasley,” Hermione said, surprise flooding through her body. “How nice to see you. Come in.” She gestured toward the couch. Molly swept in and settled on the leather sofa.

“How are you feeling, dear?” Molly said, her eyes searching for any visible sign of Hermione’s pregnancy. She could find none. She must have found out only very recently.

“I’m feeling fine,” Hermione responded, a bit alarmed at Molly’s unusual behavior.

“No sickness, then. Nausea or anything?”

Hermione frowned. The only thing she could think of was that Ginny told Molly she’d been caught in the rain earlier. Was Molly really concerned of Hermione catching a cold?

“No, nothing that a flask of warm butterbeer wouldn’t fix.”

Molly’s eyes widened. She’d always thought of Hermione as her own daughter, and such a responsible girl. How could she risk endangering the baby by drinking?

“Dear, don’t you think you should … avoid butterbeer?” she said, cautiously, trying to stifle the mild anger that was building.

Hermione frowned. Molly Weasley had always been overprotective, but really, Hermione was an adult and quite capable of making decisions on her own. And butterbeer was virtually harmless – unless you were a house elf.

“I don’t see a problem with it. My job at the Ministry is stressful enough. I need to unwind sometimes.”

“Indeed?” Molly said, her voice rising. This was not the sort of reaction she’d expected from Hermione. She barely seemed alarmed that she was about to be an unwed mother, and she certainly seemed to have no qualms with engaging in irresponsible behavior with her unborn child. Unless she didn’t plan on having the baby at all.

Molly’s eyes narrowed. “So you aren’t going to keep it?”

Hermione frowned. “Keep it? Keep what?”

Molly threw her hands up, exasperated. “The BABY!”

The younger witch frowned. Baby? Had Ginny told her about the kneazle? And why did Molly think she’d want one?

“Of course not? Why would I want one? I’ve got Crookshanks,” Hermione said, gesturing to the tabby cat snoozing in the corner.

Mrs. Weasley couldn’t believe how callous Hermione was being about the entire situation. “That is hardly the same thing. You can’t compare the two!”

Hermione frowned. “Why not? Besides, it’s Ginny’s problem. I’m sure she’ll handle the situation just fine.”

Molly wanted to throttle her. “Ginny? And why, Hermione, would this be Ginny’s problem!?!”

“Well,” Hermione said slowly, aware that Molly was getting quite emotional over a simple pregnant kneazle. “She kept encouraging them to stick around,” she said carefully, thinking about the two cats Ginny had taken care of. “It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Molly rose to her feet quickly. She had just about had it with Hermione’s flippant attitude. “Well if you don’t want it, I’ll take it. It deserves to be in a loving home,” she said caustically.

Hermione frowned. “Well of course, it does. I’m sure you could put an ad in the Daily Prophet and find it one.”

“An ad…” Molly blustered. “You most certainly will not. It’s a living, breathing creature, not some old broom!”

Hermione frowned, her confusion growing by the minute. “Of course it is, but don’t you think you are overreacting? It’s not that bit a deal. These things happen all the time.”

Molly narrowed her gaze, shaking her head lightly. “I am so disappointed with your attitude, young lady. And I can’t imagine your parents would agree with you.”

With that, she vanished with a pop.

Hermione frowned, staring out the window. She couldn’t help but feel that a terrible misunderstanding had occurred, but she wasn’t sure how to fix it.

Harry and Ron

Harry’s eyes narrowed as he strode towards Ron. It took all of his self control not to punch his friend outright, but seeing as how they were in the middle of Diagon Alley, it probably was better to avoid fighting. No need to involve the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

Not yet, at least.

“Hullo, Harry,” Ron said, a gloomy expression on his features.

“Ron,” Harry said, his throat tightly constricted. He really wanted to hit his best friend. How could he do this to him?

“I guess congratulations are in order,” Ron said, and Harry’s eyes narrowed. Ron’s attempt at subtlety was a failure. If he was expecting Harry to offer his gratitude at him for sleeping with the woman he liked, he was sorely mistaken.

“What do YOU intend to do about it,” Harry hissed, his fingertips closing around his wand.

Ron frowned. What did Harry expect him to do with his child? He’d be there for the baby, of course. He owed his best friend that. But he wasn’t sure what else Harry could expect him to do.
”Well, I mean, I’ll be there for you and her. I’d be happy to be the godfather. But don’t you think this is something you should deal with?”

Harry about lost his temper then and there. Ron wanted him to deal with the baby? What, now he was supposed to clean up Ron’s mistakes?

“I don’t see why I should have to,” Harry said bitterly. “You seem to be doing a bang-up job yourself.”

The redheaded wizard frowned. “Harry, what are you talking about? This is Hermione we’re talking about. She’s going to want the father in her baby’s life.”

At that, Harry flung himself at Ron, swinging madly with his fist. Ron yelped and tried to jump out of the way, but he and Harry went down fighting.

“Harry! What’re you doing? Ge’roff me!” Ron yelled, angrily trying to push Harry off of him. Harry continued swinging, not really carrying how hard he hit Ron anymore, just as long as Ron felt the pain of his betrayal.

“How could you Ron? You knew! You knew I liked her! How could you do this?” Harry said, tears of rage slipping down his cheeks.

Ron growled, grabbing Harry’s hands and rolling over until he had Harry’s arms pinned beneath his body. They were starting to draw a crowd. He had to end this soon.

“Harry, what are you talking about? This is your baby. Why would I interfere?”
”My…” Harry seemed to call a bit. “My baby? You … you and Hermione didn’t …”

Ron frowned. “Of course not! I know you feel about her, mate. Why would I do that to you?”

Harry flushed, feeling sheepish. “But…if it wasn’t you … and I …then who?”

Ron and Harry stood up at the same time, their eyes wide. “Who would Her…” they said at the same time, their faces paling.

“Did she mention she was seeing anyone, Harry?”

Harry stared at his friend in shock, trying to recall if Hermione had mentioned any new boyfriends. “No, she didn’t.” he muttered. Ron’s eyes widened.

“Harry, you need to talk to her. What if this boyfriend just … left? What is she going to do?”

The raven-haired wizard felt hollowness settle in his soul. At the moment, all his thoughts and concerns were on Hermione and how scared she must be.

“I’ll go see her right now,” he muttered sheepishly, glancing over Ron’s torn clothes and bloody nose. At Ron’s nod, Harry disappeared with a pop, leaving his friend alone in Diagon Alley.

Harry and Hermione

For the second time in an incredibly odd evening Hermione heard a knock at her door. Dread started to build in her stomach. Was Molly back, ready to spout some more rage?

Well, if she was, Hermione thought to herself, she was going to set things straight. It didn’t do to have the mother of one of your best friends angry at you.

Hermione opened the door, surprised to see Harry there, tattered and bloody. His glasses were hanging at an odd angle from his nose, and his hair was ruffled, but he appeared otherwise all right.

“Harry,” Hermione gasped, ushering her best friend in and seating him on the couch. “What happened?”

Harry blushed, looking at the ground. “Got in a bit of a fight with Ron.” Hermione rolled her eyes, retreating into the kitchen and returning a few minutes later with a warm wash cloth. Harry blushed as she started tending to his wounds, tsking quietly under her breath.

“Fighting again?” she chided lightly, uneasy tension building. She was well aware that she was in a precarious position. She only had a bathrobe on, underneath which was a very flimsy nightgown. And she was in the living room with Harry Potter, her best friend, who she’d had a crush on for years.

Harry glanced to the ground, closing his eyes for a moment, before saying very quickly, “I heard about the baby.”

Hermione frowned, desperately trying to think of what Harry could be referring to. He looked like he’d just left Quidditch practice, so it could hardly be that he found out about the kneazle. He must be talking about something else, she thought.

Of course, he was a Quidditch player, and Quidditch players had an … interesting relationship with their brooms. This must be the baby he was referring to. He heard somehow about her shopping trip with Fred and George.

“Harry, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I just didn’t want Ron to find out,” she said, an apologetic look on her face.

Harry frowned. Ron? What about him? “But … we would have found out eventually.”

“Well, of course. It would have been obvious in a few weeks. But I wanted it to be a surprise. Ron’s wanted one for so long; it seemed like the perfect present.”

RON? Harry’s mind screamed, as he stifled a surge of anger. She had slept with some guy to give Ron a child?

“Ron didn’t know,” Harry said bitterly. “He was as surprised as I was about it.”

Hermione’s eyes widened. “You told him? Oh Harry, how could you? It was supposed to be a surprise. Fred and George will be furious!”

“Fred and George?” Harry asked, confused. What did Fred and George have to do with this?

“Well, they helped me, you know,” Hermione said. Harry’s eyes widened. Fred and George had … Hermione had … with Fred AND George?

“But…Fred…George…how…why…WHEN?”

Hermione frowned. “Well, they brought it up, and it seemed like a good idea, so I volunteered to help.”

If he could have, Harry would have passed out then and there. “Help? Don’t you think that’s … going a bit beyond help? And why BOTH Fred and George?”

“Because they know what they’re doing!” Hermione sighed, feeling the anger start to build. Why was it people were so intent on yelling at her today? She fought back the tears that seemed to build in her eyes. “I had no clue what I was doing!”

Harry simply sat there, staring at his friend in shock. “I … well what did they say about it? Are they going to help you take care of it? And which one is responsible?”

Hermione frowned. Responsible? “They both are, and why should they take care of it? Or me, for that matter? I don’t want it. I never want to touch the thing.”

What? Harry’s mind screamed. What was she planning on doing with the baby then? Just abandoning it? Calm down, Harry, a voice chided him. She’s scared.

”Why, why didn’t you ask me?” Harry asked. “I would have helped.”

Hermione frowned. “You were so busy. I … and you don’t … know that much more than Fred and George.”

Harry flushed crimson. “I could have figured it out!” He snapped, taken aback by Hermione’s stricken glare.

Harry sighed deeply. “Ron’s not going to want it. I’m surprised you didn’t ask him first.” At Hermione’s fallen expression, he continued quickly. “You can’t just get rid of it. It’s going to need special care and … a place to live … and …” Harry allowed his voice to trail off. This was too much, but he couldn’t let Hermione deal with this on her own. He had to help her. He loved her too much to watch her face this frightening period alone.

Harry reached up, brushing a stray lock out of Hermione’s now tearful gaze. Harry dropped to a knee, taking her hands in his. Hermione stared at him tearfully.

“Hermione, I won’t let you deal with it alone. I can’t. I … I love you. And I want to help you with this. Marry me. We’ll raise the baby together.”

Hermione stared at Harry, simply in shock. Did he say he loved me? Hermione thought to herself, trying to process this turn of events. How did they go from Quidditch to…

Baby?

“What do you mean, raise the baby together?” she said, suspicion crossing her features.

Harry blushed. “Your baby. The one that Fred or George helped you make. The one,” he faltered for words. “The one that’s inside you right now.” And once I find out which one did the honors, they’re both dead, Harry promised mentally.

Hermione’s eyes widened. “Baby!” Realization poured through her features. “Harry, I’m not PREGNANT!”

Harry stared at her in confusion. “But Hermione, we’ve been talking about this baby the entire time. Colin overheard Draco and Pansy talking about it.”
”Draco Malfoy said WHAT?” Hermione yelled. If Draco was spreading nasty rumors, he would find himself on the foul end of one of her hexes.

“But,” Harry said, fumbling for words, thoroughly confused. “He heard it from Ginny, and … Ginny said…”

Hermione closed her eyes as recognition finally hit her. She couldn’t help but feel the upper edge of her lip curl up. Finally, when the irony of the situation finally dawned on her, she couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

Harry stared at Hermione, wondering if she truly lost her mind. All he could think about was Hermione saying she wasn’t pregnant. “So…you’re not … pregnant?”

Hermione’s laughter grew louder as she struggled to keep the tears of mirth streaming from her eyes. “Ginny and I were talking about MISSY, her KNEAZLE.”

Harry felt a wave of relief wash over his body, and finally, allowed the laughter to overtake him. They sat there, giggling for the longest time, before the moment faded into uncomfortable silence. Harry was full aware of the precarious situation he’d placed himself in. He’d professed his love to Hermione, and she was not the type to forget that.

Their eyes locked and Harry felt himself inhale sharply at the sincerity of her expression.

“Harry,” Hermione said quietly. “Did you … mean what you said?”

Harry closed his eyes. This was his out. He could say he meant it all only because he thought she was pregnant, or he could be honest and tell her his true feelings. Harry thought about the prospect for a moment, then opened his eyes.

“Yes, Hermione,” he whispered quietly. Hermione felt her heart flutter as Harry continued, his emerald gaze never leaving her own. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, but I’ve just … been scared.”

Hermione felt a smile cross her face. “I like you too Harry. I have for a long time.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “You do?”

Hermione giggled. “Of course.” A second later her giggles faded as shock flooded her body. Harry had closed the distance and placed his lips gently on hers. Hermione closed her eyes, reveling in the kiss, little tingles of excitement shooting up her spine. After a long while, they parted, and Hermione found herself blushing furiously. She glanced over her shoulder, contemplating the situation for a moment, before she stood.

“Come with me,” she whispered quietly. “I want to show you the broomstick.”

Harry frowned, being led by Hermione. “Broomstick? You have it here?”

Hermione blushed, and Harry suddenly realized he was being led to the bedroom. “No, not really.”

Harry grinned, a mischievous smirk spreading across his features. “I like your thinking.”

And with that, they disappeared into the bedroom.

***

The next day, when they reunited, they all had a good laugh over the misunderstanding. Ron was thrilled with his broom, and Molly Weasley offered frequent apologies to Hermione, who graciously accepted them in good humor. Their good nature lasted until the following morning, when the next edition of the Daily Prophet came out.

Hogwarts Love Circle Exposed! Boy Who Lived reveals truth about Gryffindor locker room and his secret child with best friend.