# I'm Still Here

MarianLibrarian

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 08/01/2004
Last Updated: 19/01/2004
Status: Completed

Fifth year is barely half way throuh, and Harry is completely stressed out. Just when he thinks he'll get a break, he's asked to perform in a talent show. Hermione offers to help him through by urging him to write out his feelings. In doing so, Harry is out to surprise everyone, including himself. H/Hr. Written B4 Book 5 came out.

## 1. Dumbledore

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or anything related to that. This is somewhat of a songfic story so I don't own the song "I'm Still Here" either. It belongs to John Resneck (sp?). besides that, I own the story line. That's it.

A/N: This is just something I wrote about a year ago and I thought I'd take a shot at posting it at Portkey. Hope you like it.

I'm Still Here

Harry skidded to a halt in the doorway of the Transfiguration classroom as the bell rang. The heads of about thirty second year students looked up at him curiously. An anxious Dennis Creevey waved furiously at him.

"Lost Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagal's stern voice asked him from across the room.

"Sorry professor," Harry grunted. He excused himself and ran down the hall toward Charms. As he did so, he mentally cursed himself for thinking it was Friday. He still had to wait one more day until it was Christmas Break.

"Mr. Potter," Professor Flitwick squeaked as Harry entered the classroom ten minutes later, "I was afraid you wouldn't be joining us. Take a seat."

Harry blushed slightly as he seated himself next to Hermione, who looked at him curiously. He caught her eye and held the gaze for a moment. She then giggled quietly and turned to listen to the lesson. Since the beginning of the year, Harry and Hermione had been communicating through their eyes more frequently than through their voices. They had grown so close that they could tell what the other was always thinking. It was a great little gift the two shared which they used to irritate Ron quite a lot.

"Why were you late?" Ron hissed from across the room.

Hermione burst out into a fit of giggles and Harry grinned.

"I'll tell you later," Harry whispered.

Ron sighed and gave in, looking a little hurt from being left out. Harry shook his head slightly and tried to pay attention. Concentrating had become a problem of his lately.

"Mr. Potter are you with us?" Professor Flitwick's voice rang out in Harry's head, halfway through the class.

"Wh-what?" Harry asked, snapping out of another daydream. "Yeah, yes, I, I am."

"Then please follow Mr. Creevey to Professor Dumbledore's office. The headmaster wishes to see you."

Harry nodded and stood up. He caught Hermione's eye and she nodded at him, signaling that she'd get the homework for him. He followed Collin slowly, paying no attention to what the fourth year was babbling on about. Before he knew it, the two were standing in front of the large phoenix statue that held the passageway to the headmaster's office.

"Well, see you at dinner Harry!" Collin said cheerfully and walked off.

"Mars Bars," Harry muttered at the phoenix. The statue began to turn and Harry followed it's path up to Dumbledore's office door.

"Harry!" Dumbledore smiled as the rugged looking teenager stepped into the elegant room. "Nice to see you."

"Same to you professor," Harry replied, taking a seat in the large leather seat in front of him. "So, why'd ya call me in here?"

"Harry," Dumbledore said, sitting up straight and looking serious. "I know what's going on outside Hogwart's walls has been extremely rough on you. I know sometimes you wish you weren't the Boy Who Lived either. But the fact is you are. You are a hero, especially to your fellow classmates."

"I know professor," Harry sighed deeply, gazing out the window, letting all his troubles float through his mind.

"Many of the students are too afraid to go home for the holidays," Dumbledore went on. "So, to lighten everyone's moods, I've decided to hold a Talent Show on New Year's Day. And since you are who you are I was wondering if-"

"No."

"What? You didn't even here my question."

"I know what you're thinking Dumbledore," Harry said nervously, "I won't be in the show."

"Oh, come on Harry," Dumbledore pleaded, "it will be fun. And the students will be inspired to see their hero perform just for them."

"Right," Harry said skeptically, rolling his bright green eyes, "they'll be 'inspired.' That's a load of bull-"

"Harry," Dumbledore said sternly.

"Sorry," Harry muttered. The two were silent for a while until Harry looked up into the old man's light blue eyes. A rush of guilt hung over him. The teen sighed. "Do I have to?"

"No," Dumbledore said nonchalantly, a small smile on his lips, "but I would like you to."

"So that means I have to?" Harry asked, knowing he lost the battle.

"Thank you Harry," Dumbledore smiled jubilantly, "you may go back to class."

-:-

"Oh, Harry, that will be so much fun!"

"For you," Harry said somberly, sitting in front of the fire of the Gryfindor common room. Hermione was sitting on the floor with Crookshanks in her lap, listening to Harry intently.

"What do you mean by that?" the brunette questioned.

"I know you and Ron will get a huge kick out of watching me making a fool of myself."

"Oh, Harry," Hermione said, a small grin coming across her lips, "I would never laugh at you. . . too much."

"See!" Harry accused his best friend. The girl fell into a fit of giggles and tried desperately to suppress them.

"I'm only teasing," Hermione said sweetly, after her laughing subsided. "I'll help you out if you want."

"How?" Harry asked hopelessly. "The only talent I have is flying, and I can't necessarily fly around the Great Hall can I?"

"No I suppose you can't," Hermione whispered, gazing off into the fire. After a few moments of silence between the two, Hermione lifted her head and smiled. "Write."

"What?" Harry asked, suddenly very confused.

"I know how you must feel right now," Hermione explained, "like you have to do everything because you're Harry Potter. Like you can't even live a normal life and be an angry teen once in a while. So, what I'm saying is, write it out."

"Write what out?" Harry asked, still not understanding what Hermione was saying.

"Your feelings, your emotions," Hermione answered. Harry gave her a bewildered stare and she rolled her eyes. "Honestly Harry, you know how to write don't you?"

"Yes," he said stubbornly, "but I don't see how writing anything could help."

"Well I DO," Hermione answered earnestly. "Just do as I say alright? Please."

Harry finally gave in and Hermione smiled satisfactorily. She then wished him good night and scampered off to bed. Harry stayed seated in front of the fire, deep in thought, contemplating just exactly what Hermione was conjuring up for him.

## 2. Finding the Words

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry or Hermione or the Gryffindor common room. It all belongs to the brilliant JKR. The song "Til There Was You" is from the musical "The Music Man" and it was written by Meredith Wilson. That also means I don't own it, he does. Other than that. there's not much left to own.
I'm Still Here
A rugged black haired, green eyed, teenage boy sat tiredly in front of a blazing fire. The beautiful clock on the large maple mantle rang twelve times. The boy sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes.
"Are you still up Harry?" a female voice said quietly from behind.
Harry turned his head and smiled weakly at the girl.
"Suppose I am," he muttered.
Hermione walked over and sat beside him on the large scarlet couch. The two stayed together in silence for a while, staring at the fire. Before any of them knew it, the clock struck one. Harry turned to Hermione and smiled gently. She had nodded off and her head was resting peacefully on her shoulder.
"Wake up," Harry whispered, nudging his friend softly.
"Huh?" The girl turned her head slightly and looked groggily up at him
"Tired?" Harry asked kindly.
Hermione sat up straight and blinked her eyes a few times.
"A tad," she smiled. Hermione looked down and noticed a piece of parchment with many scribbles and a quill in between her and Harry. "What's this?" she asked, picking up the paper.
"Nothing," Harry replied nervously, reaching from the parchment.
Hermione turned so he couldn't reach and began to read out loud.
"Frustrated, angry, guilty," the light brunette muttered, "tired, lost, lonely." She looked up into Harry's bright green eyes. They seemed so sad to her. "What is this Harry?" she said softly.
"Well," Harry began, feeling a little uncomfortable, "you said to write out my feelings and-"
"That's how you feel," Hermione finished his sentence, not breaking eye contact from him. Harry nodded solemnly and bowed his head.
"Why did you want me to write this out anyway?" Harry asked, breaking an awkward silence.
"For inspiration," Hermione said shortly.
"For what?" Harry looked up at her, confused.
"The Talent Show," she answered. Harry gave her a blank expression and she sighed. "Harry, I don't know if you or Ron or if anyone ever knew this, but I've been playing the guitar since I was eight. I've been writing my own songs since I was nine. Of course, they were always quite stupid and senseless little ditties, but hey, I was just a kid. Well, anyway, I thought that maybe, if you wanted, I could help you write a song and you can perform it at the show."
"No way!" Harry objected rather loudly.
"Do you have a better idea?" Hermione asked crossly.
Harry pleaded with her eyes and saw that there was no use fighting with her. He tried one last time.
"I don't know how to sing," he complained.
"I highly doubt that."
"It's true."
"Sing for me then," Hermione said smartly, "prove that you can't sing."
"But Herm-"
"But Herm," Hermione mocked. Harry glared at her and she glared back. "I'm waiting Harry."
"Fine," Harry sighed, giving up, "what would you like me to sing Herm?"
"Hmmm," Hermione pondered, a smile twisting on her face, "I love so many songs. Do you by any chance know. . . 'Til There Was You?'"
"If I say yes do I have to sing it?"
Hermione looked at Harry crossly again and he sighed.
"There were bells on the hill, but I never heard them ringing. No, I never heard them at all, til there was you. . ."
"Keep going," Hermione encouraged him, watching him intently. Harry nodded and began to sing softly once again.
"There were birds in the sky, but I never saw them winging. No, I never saw them at all, til there was you. And there was music, and there were wonderful roses, they tell me in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn, and dew. . . There was love all around, but I never heard it singing. No, I never heard it at all, til there was. . . you. . ."
Harry ended the song and watched Hermione. She seemed to be lost in his green eyes, not moving, hardly breathing. For the first time in a while he couldn't read what her bright brown eyes were trying to tell him. After a few minutes of staring at each other, Hermione blinked and turned away, a slight pink growing on her light cheeks.
"Well," Hermione whispered, looking back up at Harry, "I think we'll start writing your song tomorrow."
Harry nodded. They kept eye contact for a little longer until Hermione stood up and walked off to bed. Harry sat there for a little while longer, watching her go. She wasn't acting like the Hermione he used to know, but somehow she was. Either way, he didn't want this Hermione to go away.

## 3. Christmas Song

Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter related things in this story. The song 'I'm Still Here' belongs to John Rzeznik and is from the movie 'Treasure Planet' which belongs to Disney.
I'm Still Here

Harry woke up much earlier than he had planned for it being Christmas morning. He stood up and stretched his limbs. After a few moments of staring at his tired reflection in the mirror, Harry searched for the small present he had for Hermione. He was sure she was up at this time and he was anxious to start working on their song.
As Harry made his way down the winding staircase, he heard some light music coming from the common room. His mouth curved into a smile when he saw Hermione sitting in front of the fire, strumming a guitar with her small fingers. She was still in her pajamas and her hair was thrown back in a messy ponytail with some strands framing her delicate face. After a few minutes of watching her play from the staircase, Harry made his way towards her. Hermione stopped playing and looked up, a smile upon her face.
"Happy Christmas Harry," she said kindly.
"Same to you," he replied, sitting on a couch in front of her.
"You're up early," she pointed out, standing up and sitting beside him on the couch.
"So are you," Harry shrugged, "is that a crime?"
Hermione smiled and shook her head slightly, looking down at the guitar on the floor. She picked it up and handed it to Harry.
"Happy Christmas."
"What's this?" Harry asked, taking the guitar nervously in his hands.
"Your Christmas present," Hermione answered him shortly.
Harry's jaw dropped a good few inches, not really believing what she just said. "My present?" He asked nervously. "But why?"
"Well you'll need one when you perform at the Talent Show," Hermione replied, "and you'll need it to practice on and who knows, maybe you'll make a hobby out of it."
"I can't learn to play the guitar in a week," Harry protested, handing the instrument back to her. "Here, you can play it while I just sing the song."
"Harry, do you really think I'm that stupid?" she asked stubbornly. "Of course you won't learn to play it in a week. It took me three years to master the guitar. I went to the library a few days ago and found a spell that we can use so you'll be able to play the song but nothing more, until you learn to really play it anyway."
"So this is mine, for real?"
"Yes," she answered indignantly, "now take it back and stop fussing."
Harry took the guitar in his hands and stared at it. He had never received such a present before. He then looked down at the small package beside him and sighed.
"This totally beats what I got you."
"I'm sure it doesn't," Hermione said sweetly, noting the look of disappointment on Harry's face. "Come on Harry, the guitar was nothing, really, it's not even wrapped. Now let me see what you got me, please?"
Harry sighed and handed her the small, neatly wrapped present. Hermione took it in her hands and slowly ripped back the paper. Once the paper was out of the way, Hermione gasped at the site she held in her hands.
"Harry," she muttered, staring at it in awe, "it's gorgeous."
And indeed it was. Harry had given Hermione something that once belonged to his mother: a delicate, silver bracelet with tiny charms hanging off it, sparkling in the firelight. Hermione handled it softly as she examined each particular charm. Harry smiled as he watched her expressions change every few moments.
"Harry, I, I don't know what to say," Hermione whispered softly, "where did you get this?"
"It was my mum's," Harry answered, taking the bracelet in his hands and wrapping it around Hermione's wrist, "Sirius gave it to me this summer. He said that my father gave it to my mother on the Christmas of their fifth year. And since we are in our fifth year and it is Christmas," Harry looked up into Hermione's gleaming eyes and became lost for words.
"You decided to give it to me," she finished, smiling up at him.
"Well, yeah, I mean, I'm never gonna wear it so why not," Harry muttered, suddenly getting nervous and turning away. Hermione let out a small laugh, which sounded (though Harry doubted it) like she was nervous too.
"Well, umm," she began, taking hold of the guitar again, "I think I've written the music for your song, now we'll just need the words."
"You've done that already?" Harry asked, quite impressed.
"Yes," Hermione answered, tuning the instrument, "only if you like it though. If not, I can change it."
"Well play it and let's see."
Hermione cleared her throat and began to strike a few cords. Within minutes she had played the entire song flawlessly. When she was done, she looked up at Harry who had a stunned expression on his face.
"It's not that terrible is it?"
"No! Not at all," Harry muttered, "that's awesome. I love it."
"I thought you might," Hermione smiled, "now, umm, where to begin?"
"Exactly," Harry laughed. He stood up and walked over to one of the nearby tables. Hermione followed him and sat beside him. There was already some parchment and quills in front of them; everything prepared. Hermione picked up a quill and dabbed it in an inkwell. Her hand hovered over the paper for a moment until she scribbled away. Harry watched her as she wrote the title across the top: 'Harry's Song.'
"So," she paused, looking up at Harry, "what do you want to say?"
"I, I guess I should say that," Harry thought for a few moments, "well, everyone thinks they know who I am, just because I'm famous. I don't even mean to be famous. There's nothing special about me really; I'm just like everyone else. People think they know what it's like to be me. The hell they do! They think I live some glamorous super hero life and I don't. No one knows what it's like to be me, to live as I do, to go to sleep each night with the worries and anxieties that I do. No one knows. And believe me, I wish they did, so maybe then they would understand me and I wouldn't feel so alone all the time."
Hermione gazed at him for a moment, speechless. They watched each other for a few minutes, reading each other's thoughts. Hermione's light pink lips curved into a grin.
"Tell me more," she whispered.
Harry nodded and thought for a moment. No one ever asked how he felt, ever. No one ever wanted to know. Except Hermione. She always cared and she was always there. He grinned at her and went on.
"People expect me to be a hero, to do heroic things. Sure I might from time to time but I'm only doing it because there's an evil out there that I need to face. Not Dumbledore or Sirius or anyone else; Voldemort is my problem. I have too many expectations to live up to, too many people I need to please all the time. I don't want to be pleasing; I want to be me. Plus, they don't even pay attention to what I do unless it's something spectacular. They just look past all the little things. I can't really be who I am, not around anybody. Well, maybe you," Harry added, smiling at Hermione. She smiled back at him and bit her lip, looking down at the parchment. Within a couple seconds she was writing away, bobbing her head to the beat she created in her mind.
"I think we've hit the jackpot," she muttered after half an hour of writing, rewriting, thinking, and conversing with Harry. Plenty of other students had already gotten out of bed and were talking amongst themselves in the common room, but leaving Harry and Hermione alone.
"You're done already?" Harry asked, very shocked.
"I think so," Hermione muttered, rereading her sloppy copy. "What do you think?" She handed Harry the paper and he began to read out loud.
"I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard, or a moment that's held in your arms. And what do you think you'd ever say? I won't listen anyway. You don't know me and I'll never be what you want me to be. Hermione, this is awesome," Harry said, completely amazed at her wording.
"Just keep reading it," Hermione urged, biting her lip.
"And what do you think you'd understand? I'm a boy, no, I'm a man. You can't take me and throw me away. . ." Harry kept reading the song in awe. When he finally finished he was lost for words.
"Do you like it?" Hermione asked eagerly. "Because I can always change it if there's something wrong."
"No, no," Harry answered, "it's perfect."
Hermione let out a small sigh and smiled.
"I think it should be called 'I'm Still Here' because I kind of repeated that a lot," she went on, "but of course if you want to change it then go ahead. This is your song Harry. It's all what you're feeling, I just put it all onto paper."
"It's perfect Hermione, stop worrying," Harry assured her, "now let's go get some breakfast and you can teach me how to rock and roll." He stood up jubilantly and started for the portrait hole. He turned around and saw that Hermione was still sitting at the table, gaping at him. "What?"
"You are such a git."
"You know Hermione," Harry said, pretending to be serious, "that hurts. That hurts right here." He pointed at his heart.
Hermione started to laugh as she stood up and walked towards him.
"Like I said," she continued as they started towards the Great Hall, "you're a git."
"Well, I do try," Harry replied proudly. The two friends laughed and joked around the rest of the morning.

## 4. Lovely Realizations

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is related to "Harry Potter." All of that brilliance belongs to JKR. The song, "I'm Still Here" was written and belongs to Johnny Rzezneck. "I Won't Say (I'm In Love)" is from the Disney movie "Hercules" so I don't own it either, Disney does. Also, Converse shoes do not belong to me either.
A/N: A couple characters may seem OOC this chapter but keep in mind that there will be a ‘Dream Sequence.’
I'm Still Here

"So how does this spell work anyway?"
It was the morning after Christmas and a light snow was falling gracefully across the Hogwarts grounds, making it appear like a beautiful snow globe. Harry and Hermione were walking around the frozen lake, discussing the Talent Show.
"Well," Hermione started, "we'll have to practice it a few times, but basically what happens is this. You mutter the words 'Recordium Musico' and point your wand at my guitar. I then begin to play the song all the way through. When that's finished, you take the guitar and I take the wand. I then point the wand at you and say 'Playscodia Musica' and your hands will automatically play the song, you just have to sing it."
Harry stopped mid-step and turned to Hermione.
"That sounds really complicated," he stated, worry in his tone.
Hermione smiled at him assuringly.
"It's not, trust me."
Harry hesitated for a moment, watching Hermione in confusion. A light grin spread across her lips and she raised her eyebrows at him in question. Their gaze held for a few moments and Harry finally nodded.
"Of course I trust you," he told her, "always have, always will."
"That's what I thought," Hermione said brightly.
The two continued to circle the lake once more. A fierce wind suddenly began to blow from the East and Hermione shivered almost violently. Harry looked at her in alarm.
"Here, take this," he said, taking off his warm cloak and drapping it over the girl's shoulders.
"You'll catch your death of cold now Harry," Hermione protested, trying to take off the heavy cloak.
"We'll go back inside then," Harry answered her, turning around, "but we're stopping by the kitchens and getting you some hot chocolate. How 'bout that?"
Hermione nodded and smiled up at Harry. He grinned back and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to warm her up. Hermione nestled her head against Harry's chest as they walked back to the castle in silence. Harry, grateful that she couldn't see his face, blushed furiously. 'What's wrong with me?' He thought. 'It's just Hermione. . . but maybe not 'just' Hermione. . .' Harry's mind swarmed with questions as they continued their small journey through the snow.
-:-
Later that evening, Harry sat in front of the common room fire, playing a game of old fashioned Wizard Chess with Ron as Hermione sat across from them, reading a book silently.
"Bishop to D5," Harry commanded his miniture soldiers. His white Knight slid across the checkered board into an empty square. Unbeknownst to Harry, who's mind was traveling in and out between the real world and his thoughts, a victorious grin broadened the cheerful face of Ron Weasley.
"Queen to D5," the red head said triumphantly, "Checkmate!"
"What?!" Harry asked abrutly, his mind back on the real world, "How did that happen?"
A giggle escaped Hermione's lips and Harry looked up at her angrily.
"You saw this coming and didn't tell me?" Harry asked furiously, only making Hermione giggle louder and harder. "This is an outrage!"
"This is a game Harry," Hermione said, desperately trying to supress her laughter, "besides, Ron beat you. He always beats you. Find yourself a hill and get over it."
Ron started to laugh as well and after useless complaining, Harry laughed too at his own stupidity. The black and white chess pieces began to rearrange themselves back in order, ready to play once again. As a new game started, Ginny Weasley, Ron's bubbly younger sister, and Lavender Brown, a flirtatious yet ditzy fellow fifth year, came up to them.
"Hermione," Ginny said crossly, "where are you supposed to be right now?"
"Gin, what's wrong?" Hermione asked, confused. Ginny and Lavender gave her identical impacient stares and suddenly Hermione's lips formed the shape of a small 'o.' "Ohhhhhh," she said guiltily, "I guess I forgot, sorry."
"Forgot what?" Harry asked as one of Ron's bishops took another pawn.
"We thought you got lost or something," Lavender went on, "besides, we really need to practice."
"I'm sorry guys, I forgot and it's totally my fault," Hermione said calmly, "Ok now listen, here's the new plan: right now, we'll go up to the dormitories and pick the song. Then, tomorrow, straight after breakfast, we'll go to the Transfiguration classroom and choreograph it. And thirdly, Lav, we've been here at Hogwarts for five years, do ya really think I'd get lost?"
The blonde shifted guiltily in her hot pink Converse All-Stars.
"I paniced ok," she muttered.
Hermione smiled and placed her book down. She stood up, streched her limbs, and headed towards the girls dormitory with Ginny and Lavender beside her. Harry watched her go, allowing Ron to check his King again. Harry blew it off and chased after her.
"Hey!"
Hermione turned around, surprised to see Harry suddenly right beside her.
"Hi," she said, tilting her head sideways, biting her lip. A few strands of golden brown hair fell across her face, making her look friendly yet mysterious all in one. For the second time in less than a week, Harry couldn't read what Hermione's eyes were saying. It scared him completely if she knew exactly what he was thinking at the moment and he was left clueless. Harry suddenly felt his mind go blank, not knowing what to say. All he could think of was shouting out to the world how beautiful she was, but he figured that might not be the most impressive thing to say. She smiled at him and waited for him to speak.
"Wha-what's this talk about, bout practice and, and stuff?" he stammered.
"Nothing," Hermione shrugged. She turned to follow Ginny and Lav up the stairs but Harry caught her arm. She turned around and raised her nicely curved eyebrows at him. "We're performing in the Talent Show ok? That do? Can I go now?"
Harry let go of her arm and nodded, feeling like a mute idiot. Hermione shook her head at him and smiled.
"See ya at breakfast Harry," she said kindly, "and don't worry, I'll have plenty of time to help you with your song and still do mine, just relax."
Harry let out a huge sigh of relief as Hermione disappeared up the staircase. If that's what she thought he was worrying about, obviously their connection was broken or something. Harry slowly made his way back to the couch and slumped down, deep in thought. A few minutes later he heard a rather unappealing grunt and he looked up. Ron was watching him, eyebrows rasied, with an amused grin on his face.
"What?" Harry asked innocently.
"You fancy Hermione," Ron said slowly, grinning even wider (if that was possible).
"I do not!" Harry protested loudly.
"You must or else you wouldn't be responding in such a protective manner," Ron replied.
"Ron, you must have had a little too much eggnog at dinner," Harry said nervously, "I mean, me and Hermione? You must be crazy."
"Am I Harry? Well let me explain the obvious if you're so oblivious," Ron began. "First off, you and Herm have been spending a lot of time together. I know you two are working on some song or whatever but still, I mean a lot of time together. And your little silent conversations, I don't know what that's about but you guys have something going on there. At dinner, when you don't think anyone is watching, you steal glances at her constantly. And lately, you've always been off in some sort of dreamworld that I can't have a normal conversation with you. Like right now!" he waved a hand in front of Harry's thoughtful face and Harry's head snapped back and attentive. Ron shook his head and went on. " And just now, stu-stu- stuttering in, in fron-front of, of her, get off it Harry, you like her."
Harry stared at Ron dumbfoundly, knowing he was completely on target but afraid to admit that he was. Ron watched Harry's expressions change from shocked, to confused, to offended, to relief. Harry let out a huge sigh.
"What am I gonna do mate?" Harry asked worriedly. "I mean, I can't even be in the same room with Hermione anymore without my mind going haywire. She's changed since last year. She understands me you know? She knows how I feel and what I'm thinking and she just, well she's. . . that's that thing, I don't know! I never know how she feels or what she's really thinking. And lately I've just been thinking about her and what if she knows I've been thinking about her and what if she doesn't want me to think about her and what if she stops working on the song with me and I then make a mockery out of myself at the show and what if she even stops talking to me?"
"Whoa Harry, chill your hormones," Ron said exasperatedly. "Calm down and relax. We're talking about you and Hermione. Now I've watched her too and when she doesn't think anyone is paying attention, she also stares at you with this dreamy expression and bright brown eyes. I don't think you're alone in this Harry. Just play it cool, go with the flow. If Hermione is as smart as we think she is, she'll come around. For now, just be you."
"Be me?" Harry asked, "You certain 'bout that Ron? I mean, lately, being me has turned me into a stammering, mindless psycho."
"Have I ever left you reason to doubt before?" Ron asked proudly. Harry put up a fake smile and engaged himself in another game of chess, trying hard not to dwell on all of Ron's previous mishaps.
-:-
"Gosh Hermione, what's the deal with you and Harry?"
Hermione was laying on the end of her bed as Lavender sat on the floor with Ginny, painting her toenails.
"There is no deal Lav," Hermione answered, "he's just Harry."
"Just Harry?" Ginny raised her eyebrows knowingly.
"What?" Hermione asked innocently, knowing they just about had her cornered.
"The tilting your head, the biting your lip, the flirtatious grins," Lavender listed, "that's the deal we're talking about."
And so she hit the dead end, cornered by a determined red head and a skeptical blonde. Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes.
"I dunno," she muttered, turning on her back and staring up at the top of her canopy, "I never noticed that."
"Well you should since you do it about a trillion times a day," Ginny giggled. "So, ummm, do you like him or not?"
"He's Harry," Hermione shrugged, "I mean he's, well, he's considerate-" her mind traveled to that afternoon in the snow when he gave her his cloak, "and he's funny-" she thought about how she spewed her hot chocolate when he threw the punchline to one of his jokes at dinner, "and thoughtful-" she stared down out the charm bracelet he had given her just the other morning , "and courageous-" she thought about the past four years she had known him, especially the past June, and how he overcame such terrible evil and still kept his head above water, "and smart-" she remembered that Rita Skeeter article from the previous year which explained how, like herself, Harry was one of the top students in their grade, "and athletic-" she smiled at the memory of Harry winning the quidditch final in their third year, "and completely goregeous-" she closed her eyes and saw his bright green emeralds bearing into her dull browns, "and he's-"
"I think somebody's in love," Ginny teased. She and Lavender burst into a fit of giggles and Hermione fell out of her fantasy world.
"Love?" Hermione asked, turning to face her friends, an annoyed expression on her face. "I've been there, remember Viktor? He told me I was the only one for him and I fell for it. Then some babe walks by him and suddenly I'm on an early flight back home to London. I'm not gonna fall for that again."
"Hermione, you can tell us," Lavender said sincerely, sitting beside the brunnette on the bed. "We don't blame you, do we Gin? Harry's a total hottie. Plus, he cares about you, and he won't hurt you like that Bulgarian idiot did."
"I dunno," Hermione muttered, pulling her legs towards her and wrapping her arms around her knees. She knew Harry would never stoop as low as Viktor had, and she knew she liked him. But love? It couldn't be. She told Lavender and Ginny that she needed some sleep and closed the deep scarlet curtains around her bed. 'If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I know I've already won that.' She thought, laying her head down on the soft pillows.
"Gosh, no guy is worth the aggrivation," Hermione muttered, barrying her head into her pillow, thoughts of her summer in Bulgaria running through her mind. She remembered how she cried on the planeride home, and how she dared to call the Dursley's, wanting to talk to Harry. She remembered how he gently calmed her down and told her everything would be alright. "NO!" Hermione shouted, sitting up. "That's ancient history Hemione!" she said to herself, trying to get the thought of her and Harry out of her mind. "You've been there, you've done that!"
And for some unexplainable reason, her cutains flew open and music began to play out of thin air. In front of her, Ginny and Lav stood in matching magenta mini skirts and sleeveless tops, bending their knees to the music, snapping their fingers, and worst of all, singing.
"Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'? He's the Earth and heaven to you." They sang to Hermione.
"Who, Harry?" she asked, shaking her head in confusion.
"Try to keep it hidden, Honey we can see right through you. Girl, you can't conceal it, we know how ya feel and who you're thinkin' of. . ."
Hermione stood up angrily and walked towards them. The music suddenly took over her and she sang back.
"No chance! No way! I won't say it, no, no!"
"You swoon, you sigh, why deny it? Uh oh!" Ginny sang back, a hand on her hip and an amused expression on her grinning lips.
"It's too cliche, I wont say I'm in love!" Hermione sang matter-of-factly. She then turned on her heels and walked over to her vanity and sat on the stool. She looked at her sad image in the mirror and sighed. "I thought my heart had learned its lesson," she sang quietly, propping her chin on her hand, "It feels so good when you start out. . ." she turned and saw a picture of Harry smiling widely in front of her. She stood up angrily and shut her eyes tightly. "My head is screaming "Get a grip girl! Unless you're dying to cry your eyes out!" Oh. . ."
Lavender walked up to Hermione and put a kind hand on her shoulder.
"You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling," the pretty blonde cooed.
"Baby, we're not buying," Ginny chimed in, standing beside Lavender, "Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling! Face it like a grown up-"
"When ya gonna own up that ya got-"
"Got-"
"Got it bad!"
Hermione pushed away from them and shook her head.
"No chance! No way! I won't say it, no, no!"
"Give up, give in, check the grin- you're in love. . ."
Hermione whipped the unnoticed grin off her face and crossed her arms.
"This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love. . ."
"You're doin flips," Lav protested.
"Read our lips," Ginny added. And together that sang again, "You're in love!"
"You're way off base! I won't say it!" Hermione sang in reply, sitting down on the windowsill and staring out the window. After a moment she turned and saw the two girls standing right in front of her. That was it. "Get off me case!" she sang louder and with more feeling than before, "I won't say it!"
"Girl, don't be proud, it's Okay, you're in love. . ."
"Oh. . ." Hermione sang slowly, staring out the window again. She closed her eyes and all she could see was Harry's gorgeous green eyes and his bright face smiling at her. She smiled too as she opened her eyes and sighed. "At least out loud. . ." she sang so quietly that Lavender and Ginny had no chance of hearing her, "I won't say I'm in. . ." she looked down at her bracelet and smiled, "love. . . ."
Hermione's head shot up and she looked around. She was in her bed with the scarlet curtains closed around her. She got out and looked around. Lavender was sleeping soundly in the bed to her right and Ginny wasn't there, meaning she must have gone back to her own room. Hermione walked over to their grand bay window and sat on its sill.
"Since when did my dreams suddenly turn into a song and dance number?" she muttered, shaking her head. She looked out among the snow that covered the grounds of her school. She caught a glimpse of the lake where Harry and her had been walking just hours earlier. "Harry," she sighed, closing her eyes tight. She fell asleep there in peace, dreaming about a boy. But not just any boy; she was dreaming about the boy she knew she was in love with.

## 5. Love Will Keep Us Together

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter related. All that brilliance belongs to JKR. The song "I'm Still Here" belongs to John Rzenik. The song "Love Will Keep Us Together" is from Vitamin C.
A/N: Ok, here’s the last chapter of “I’m Still Here.” It was a pretty short fic but I’m glad that all of you like it so much. Here it goes.

I'm Still Here

Chapter 5
"There's still something missing."
"Hermione, you've rewritten the song two times. It's perfect."
Harry sat in front of the common room fire with Hermione pacing back and forth in front of him. The talent show was in three days and the two had been working tirelessly on the song. They had already practiced the spell and it seemed as though Harry was a musical prodigy.
"The song is fine but the music, it's acoustic," Hermione went on, "it needs, something, more, not acoustic."
"What are you talking about?"
"Like electric," Hermione paused and bit her lip, trying to explain, "well, like a band I mean. Bass, Drums, Keyboard, the whole package. It's just well," she sat down beside Harry and sighed, " I don't know."
"Don't know what?" Harry asked, quite annoyed at himself for being so clueless. He had just been so distracted since Christmas, even more than he usually was.
"Do you think that maybe Ron and Seamus and those guys want to be in the Talent Show?" Hermione asked quietly, staring at the fire.
"Hell no," Harry said automatically, "they laugh at this kind of stuff."
"I know," Hermione muttered.
Harry watched Hermione for a few moments. She was hugging her legs to her chest and she had this blank expression on her face, almost as if she was sad.
"Herm, what's wrong?"
"I need them Harry!" Hermione said, suddenly full of life. "I've already talked with Dumbledore and he's transfigured three desks into instruments. You would be the best act in the whole show if those guys would play. Damn! Why do guys have to be so bloody stubborn?!"
She quickly stood up and slammed her food down in frustration. Harry smiled at her and shook his head.
"Herm, don't worry," he said comfortingly, standing up beside her, "Ron's my best friend and Seamus and Dean and Neville, they're my crew. I can get them to do anything."
"You’re sure?"
-:-
"Hell no!"
"But Ron-"
"Harry, I'm not going to be in some stupid show just so you can impress some girl!"
"Ron," Harry said angrily, sitting on his bed in frustration. Hermione was right. Why did guys have to be so stubborn? "I can't do it alone Ron," Harry muttered, "I need you, and I need Seamus, and I just need all of you, please."
Ron sighed and looked at Harry sitting pitifully on the bed. He would have said yes right away, but it was so much fun to play with his friend's head. But enough games-
"As long as I can play the drums," Ron stated proudly.
A relieved smile appeared on Harry's face.
"Deal!"
-:-
Harry paced nervously backstage. It was the night of the Talent Show and the entire school was seated in the auditorium. Ron got Seamus and Dean to agree to play the bass and the keyboard. Hermione had performed the same charm on them and they too played their instruments beautifully. The act was great; it was perfect. Harry admired Hermione so much for what she had done for him and still found time to do an act of her own. He hadn't seen her all night though. She, Ginny, and Lavender were the last act, right after Harry and his crew. His palms were sweaty and his knees were shaking. He hadn't done anything like this before. He needed Hermione to be there. Or at least he wanted Hermione to be there.
"Harry," Ron's voice interrupted his thoughts, "we're up next, come on."
Harry nodded nervously and walked up behind the curtain. Seamus and Dean both gave him reassuring smiles as they got into place. Harry put the guitar strap around him and took a deep breath. This was it. Everything he had worked for, everything Hermione had worked for. And she wasn't there.
The curtain opened and lights shown brightly on them. Harry cleared his throat.
"Hello everyone," he said into the magical microphone, "before we begin I would like to dedicate this song to a special girl out there somewhere. Without her, I don't think we'd be here today. So um, let's do this."
Harry turned and faced Ron who smiled knowingly and nodded. He beat his drumsticks in the air and counted to three. The spell cast over the four boys and music erupted from their fingertips and blasted through the auditorium. There was no turning back now. Harry took a deep breath and just let it go.
"I am a question to the world/ Not an answer to be heard/ Or a moment that's held in your arms. And what do you think you'd ever say/ I won't listen anyway/ You don't know me/ And I'll never be what you want me to be. And what/ Do you think you'd understand/ I'm a boy, no, I'm a man/ You can't take me/ And throw me away. And how/ Can you learn what's never shown/ Yeah, you stand here on your own/ They don't know me/ 'Cause I'm not here. And I want a moment to be real/ Want to touch things I don't feel/ Wanna hold on and feel I belong/ And how can the world want me to change/ They're the one's that stay the same/ They don't know me/ 'Cause I'm not here.
"And you see the things they never see/ All you wanted - I could be/ Now you know me/ And I'm not afraid. And I want to tell you who I am/ Can you help me be a man/ They can't break me/ As long as I know who I am. And I want a moment to be real/ Wanna touch things I don't feel/ Wanna hold on and feel I belong/ And how can the world want me to change/ They're the ones that stay the same/ They can't see me/ But I'm still here."
Harry continued playing with more soul and passion than he ever had before. The interlude quickly passed and he closed his eyes and sang his heart out again.
"They can't tell me who to be/ 'Cause I'm not what they see/ Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me/ And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe. And I want a moment to be real/ Want to touch things I don't feel/ Wanna hold on and feel I belong/ And how can you say I'll never change/ They're the ones that stay the same/ I'm the one now/ 'Cause I'm still here. I'm the one, cause I'm still here, I'm still here, I'm still here. I'm still here."
Harry opened his eyes and saw a standing ovation in front of him. He couldn't hear himself think. People were screaming and cheering and applauding so greatly that Harry was in shock. He turned and faced Ron, Seamus, and Dean who were smiling and laughing in reply.
When they finally left the stage, Harry walked straight into Hermione. But she didn't look like Hermione. The front of her hair was twisted back and the rest was in a mess of curls. She had make up on and was wearing low- rise jeans and a red tank top, which together showed off much of her toned stomach and many other certain features. Harry's mouth opened in shock.
"Harry, you were wonderful!" Hermione squealed as she reached up and gave him a hug.
"I, I couldn't have, uh, done it without you Herm," Harry said nervously, feeling a slight blush upon his cheeks. She smiled up at him and he was lost for words.
"I gotta go on stage now," Hermione said, "but do me a favor alright? Just. . . listen to the words. I really want you to hear them."
Harry nodded and watched her walk on stage with confidence and grace that he failed to notice before. Ginny and Lavender were behind, wearing identical outfits that matched Hermione's. Harry positioned himself in the wings so that he could have a good view of the stage. The lights were out so he was staring into complete darkness. The curtain rose slowly and music began to play out of nowhere. A spotlight hit Hermione and she smiled widely.
"Love," she sang softly, "love will keep us together/ Think of me babe whenever/ Some sweet talkin' girl comes along, singin' a song/ Don't mess around, you just gotta be strong/ Just stop-"
The lights lit up the entire stage and Ginny and Lav were on either side of Hermione, singing back up.
"'Cause I really love you/ Stop, I been thinkin' of you/ Look in my heart and let love keep us together. You, you belong to me now / Ain't gonna set ya free now/ When those girls start hangin' around, talkin' me down/ Hear with your heart and ya won't hear a sound/ Just stop, cause I really love you/ Stop, I've been thinkin' of you/ Look in my heart and let love keep us together, whatever.
"Young and beautiful, but someday your looks'll be gone/ When the others turn you off, who'll be turnin' you on/ I will, I will, I will, I will be there to share forever/ Love will keep us together/ I said it before and I'll say it again/ While others pretend I need ya now and I need ya then/ Just stop, cause I really love you/ Stop, I been thinkin' of you/ Look in my heart and let love keep us together."
When the girls finally finished their outstanding performance, they had the crowd cheering louder than Harry did. When Hermione finally left the stage she found Harry immediately, staring at her in awe.
"Was it that bad?" she asked nervously.
"No," Harry muttered, "that was, wow. You were great."
"Thanks," Hermione smiled and bit her lip. They were quiet for a moment, nervously staring into each other's eyes. "Listen, Harry," Hermione said a few moments later, "the song. Umm, I didn't write it. I didn't have time. Actually Ginny picked it out. But um, the whole reason we sang it was-"
"And will the following acts come back out onto the stage," Dumbledore's voice interrupted her speech and she finished abruptly. "Collin Creevey: Lord of the Violin," a kind applause was heard as Collin walked proudly onstage. "Herm, Lav, and Gin: Soul Singers," Hermione gave Harry a wink and linked arms with the girls as they walked onstage excitedly. "And lastly The Stillers: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Seamus Finnigan, and Dean Thomas."
The crowd went wild as Harry walked casually onstage with his so-called "bandmates." He found a place next to Hermione who smiled up at him.
"About the song," she shouted over the noise.
"What?" Harry shouted back.
"I sang it for you!" she shouted again as Dumbledore started to announce the winner.
"What?"
"And in third place," Dumbledore's voice was heard as he silenced the crowd, "Collin Creevey."
The audience applauded again as Collin bowed and left the stage.
"And the second place winner is."
"I sang it for you," Hermione whispered, the room quiet with anticipation.
"The Stillers!" Dumbledore said happily. "Which means, Hermione Granger, Lavender Brown, and Ginny Weasley are our winners!"
The auditorium burst with pandemonium. Instead of being happy for himself and for Hermione, Harry was staring wide eyed at the girl. She was looking up nervously at him, biting her lip.
"Why?" Harry asked, hoping for something he knew couldn't be the reason. Hermione took a deep breath and shouted above the noise.
"I think I love you!"
The room went still. It was so quiet that a pin drop could be heard. Everyone was staring at Harry and Hermione, who silenced the crowd on accident. After a few moments of awkward silence, Harry cleared his throat.
"You love me?" he whispered, taking a step closer to her.
"Yes," Hermione replied, biting her lip again.
"Good," Harry smiled, "because I think I love you too."
The crowd flared up again, cheering even louder than before. Among the loudest though were Ginny and Lavender, who were jumping up and down and hugging each other in excitement. Ron was yelling himself hoarse, relieved that his best friends had finally confessed to each other.
But Harry heard nothing of it. He gazed longingly into Hermione's bright brown eyes and brushed a lose strand of hair away from her face. He gently took her face in his hands and kissed her. Hermione kissed him back with as much longing and passion that she held within her. Harry wrapped his strong arms around her waist and her hands found their way to his neck and grabbed hold. The two never broke their connection and continued to kiss each other in front of the entire school.
Harry was finally in a place where he felt like he belonged. Hermione was the one person that understood him, helped him, supported him every moment. She had given him so much. He was so glad that he rewrote the second verse of the song himself. It was about her; it was for her. She was the one. She was his one.
After a while, people did leave, but Harry and Hermione stayed in place, not realizing how quickly time had passed them by. Hermione finally did break apart and was breathing heavily, as was Harry.
"I can't believe we just did that," she muttered, staring at Harry in awe.
"Neither can I," he replied, grinning wickedly, "Want to do it again?"
Hermione smiled.
The two didn't return to their dormitories until much, much later. . . that morning.
-:-FiN-:-
Ok, that's it. "I'm Still Here" is finally over. I know it was a cheesy ending but it works. The song Hermione sings is "Love Will Keep Us Together." If you ever saw the movie "Get Over It" with Kirsten Dundst, then you know that Vitamin C sang it at the beginning. I called Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Dean "The Stillers" because the song is called "I'm STILL Here" and that's as creative as I got. Anyway, hope that you all enjoyed it. ~MtL