Women Translations by Thats So Raven

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Draco & Ginny
Book: Draco & Ginny, Books 1 - 5
Published: 20/01/2004
Last Updated: 20/01/2004
Status: Completed

Draco Malfoy learns a few things in the Langauge of Women. Comedy...R/R Plz! (One Shot)




1. Woman Translations
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Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Summary: Draco Malfoy, husband of Virginia Weasley, learns a lesson in the translations of
women.

**Women Translations**

Draco Malfoy apperated into Blaise Zabini’s office. His best friend was leaning over a thick
book.

“What are you doing?”

Blaise’s head snapped up and he glared at Draco, “Don’t you have your own manor?”

Draco ignored him and took a seat in the chair in front of the desk, “Ginny’s not in a good
mood…I needed to get out of the manor.” He put his feet on Blaise’s desk, “What are you
reading?”

Blaise raised an eyebrow at Draco’s feet before shoving them off, “A book on women, Pansy yelled
at me for not understanding women the other day. Today she came home and threw this book at me…” He
looked up at Draco, “Women are so complicated.”

“What does the book say?”

“It’s telling me that when a woman says ‘Yes’ to a question, she means ‘no’ and when she says
‘maybe’ she means ‘no’ also. Why can’t yes mean yes, and no mean no!?”

Draco shrugged, “No idea…”

“Blaise!”

“Shit…you better go.”

Draco smirked before wishing his friend good luck and apperating back home.

“Draco?” Came Ginny’s voice from down the hall.

“Hullo, luv.”

Ginny smiled and kissed him on the cheek, “I think we need to take a little trip to
Hogsmeade.”

“Why?”

“Well, the manor is looking a little…dull. I think we should buy new drapes for the family room
and our bedroom.” She winked at him while thinking, *‘This goes without saying that we’re
stopping at the cosmetics store, Madam Malkins, the shoe store…I need a new purse…I hope he brings
his check book.’*

“Alright, get ready and we’ll leave.”

Ginny kissed him softly on the lips before turning around and going into their room to get
dressed.

Half an hour later Ginny stepped into the living room and saw Draco’s eyes slowly closing.
“Draco! Get up!”

He shot up off the couch, “Oh, you’re ready.”

She smiled and nodded, “Let’s *go*!” She pulled held his hand and they both apperated.

Draco held his hand in hers and walked towards Madam Malkins, “Gin, I’m going to go into
Flourish and Blotts, I need to pick up something.”

Ginny frowned, “…alright.” She gave him a small peck on the cheek before continuing on her
shopping journey.

Draco walked into Flourish and Blotts, “Hello Mr. Malfoy, how may I help you?”

Draco looked around to see if anyone was listening, “I’m looking for a book on…women.”

“Women?” The clerk said loudly.

“Keep it down!”

“Sorry, sir. All the books on women are upstairs, on the back shelf.”

Draco nodded and made his way up the stairs. “Women…women…” He tilted his head to read the spine
of one, “Translating the Language of Women for Men.” He pulled it out and flipped through the book.
He carried the book back downstairs and paid for it.

“Have a *lovely* day, Mr. Malfoy.”

Leaving the shop he opened the book to a translation page and read over a few, laughing. How
true was this! When he and Ginny were getting married she had bought at least 12 pairs of shoes!
All the others were…’the wrong shade of white.’

He opened the door into Madam Malkins, “Gin?”

“Back here Draco.” He heard from a dressing room. He smiled and made his way towards the
door.

He opened it, “Are you nearly done?”

Ginny turned around, a pout showing on her face, “Does this robe make my butt look big?”

**When asked, ‘Is my butt big’ a woman usually wants to be told she is beautiful.**

“Gin, you look beautiful.” She blushed and turned back to the mirror, *‘The book actually
works!’*

“Thank you, Draco. But that’s not what I asked you.” His eyes locked with hers in the mirror,
“Does this make my butt look big?”

He shook his head, “Not at all.”

“Okay.”

Two hours later Draco’s hand was full of bags, and Ginny smiled happily as they exited the last
store. “Well I’d like to say we got a lot of good deals today!”

“Can we go home, now?” Ginny nodded and they apperated into Malfoy Manor, “Bloody hell…never
going shopping again.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing luv, nothing at all.”

“I’m going to have Theresa get dinner started.”

He nodded and made his way towards his office. Draco put his feet on the desk in his office. He
leaned back and opened the book.

He read through the first chapter, learning about the many moods of women. Turning the page to
chapter two, he read on…finally understanding what Ginny really meant when she said, ‘You’re so
manly!’ She actually meant, ‘You need to shave…and you sweat a lot.’

That was not true! He was a Malfoy, and Malfoy’s do *not* sweat!

He read a little more before Ginny came into the room announcing that dinner was ready. They sat
together and ate in silence.

“I have a business meeting this weekend.” Ginny nodded, “I’ll be gone for a week.”

She sighed, “Again?”

He nodded, “I don’t need to go to it, it’s just rather important. If you want me to stay…I
will.” She shook her head, “its okay for me to go?”

“Sure…go ahead.”

**Sure, go ahead means, ‘I don’t want you to.’**

Draco rolled his eyes, “Really, Gin. If you don’t want me to go, then I won’t.”

“Its fine Draco, I’ll just stay with Mum.”

“This is you’re last chance…”

“It’s *fine*.” She glared at him

~*~

That night Draco sat in bed, Ginny snuggled closer to him when she sat up and looked around, “I
heard a noise.”

**When you are sleeping at night, and she says, ‘I think I heard something.’ It is just an
excuse to get you to stay up; she probably wants to talk to you.**

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he put his hands on her shoulder and brought her body back to his,
rubbing her back.

“Draco…” She put her head on his chest, “do you love me?”

**When asked, ‘Do you love me?’ Your girlfriend/wife, no doubt, wants something
expensive.**

He laughed, “Of course I do.”

Smiling she took in a big breath, “Do you want to have a baby?”

His hand stopped moving, “You’re not…pregnant…are you?”

She shook her head, “No, I just think that since we’re 25 and 26, that it’s about time for us to
have kids.”

Draco’s eyes stared into the darkness, his brain searching for the perfect answer, “I think we
should wait…”

“Wait? How much longer do you need! I want to be able to run around, with my child, you
know!”

“Ginny, I want to have a baby; I just think we should wait until everything is perfect.”

Ginny sighed, “I really want to though…either way it’s your decision.”

*‘Damn you, woman.’* He ran a hand down her cheek, “My decision?”

“Yes, Draco…I can’t exactly climb on top of myself and get pregnant.”

**Women often want you to feel bad when you don’t agree with them. When they tell you it’s your
decision…they want you to understand that the correct decision should already be obvious.**

Draco closed his eyes, “Gin, can’t you wait a few more months?”

She pouted and moved away from him, “Don’t feel obliged to sleep on the couch.” Turning on her
side she yanked most of the covers on her side of the bed and glared at the wall.

“Virginia…” When she didn’t answer him he pushed the blankets off him and moved to the
fireplace. He started up a fire and sat on the couch in front of it, “Women.” Was the last thing he
said before drifting off to sleep.

~*~

The next few days around the house were rough; Ginny continuously slammed doors wherever she
went. One morning Draco found her in the kitchen, eating breakfast that looked just cooked. He sat
down at the table, only to notice there was no plate for him. He looked at her, face blank. Ginny
sat her fork down as she looked at him. She tilted her head to the right and smiled,
angelically.

“Are you still upset Gin?”

She shook her head, “I’m not upset.”

“That’s good. Because I’m leaving tomorrow and I don’t want to leave on a bad note.”

Ginny stood up, pushing her chair back, “Of course I’m upset you moron! How could I not be
upset!?”

*‘Damn! I should have finished that chapter last night.*’ Draco put his head in his hands,
“Gin…I’m sorry! I want to have a baby too; I just want to make sure I’m home for the entire nine
months. So please stop being emotional and overreacting.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, “I’m not emotional! And I am NOT overreacting.”

**…if she is seems emotional and overreacts it is probably that time of the month. Unless you
are married to/dating a Drama Queen.**

“Virginia…” He warned in a dangerously low tone, “Sit down. We are going to talk about this,
*now*.” She sat down and put her hand neatly in her lap. “What is wrong with waiting?”

She shrugged, “Nothing.”

**Nothing = Everything**

“Ginny…”

“Alright!” She sighed, “I’m so jealous, Draco! All of my girlfriends have babies and I’m the
only one who doesn’t! I want to go shopping for baby clothes! I want to have sudden cravings for
food late at night! I want you to say that you’re not going to get it, but then you do anyways!
Draco…that’s what I want. So if you want to know what’s wrong with it…everything is wrong.”

**Everything = her PMS is acting up.**

Draco stood up and walked to her chair, “Do you really want a baby.”

“I want one if it’s what you want too.”

“As I said, I want a baby…just not yet.” He lifted her chin up, “okay?”

She nodded, “I’m sorry.” She put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his
shoulder.

“I’m not going to be sorry for this later, am I?” He asked, remembering what he read in the
book.

“No, why?”

“Just…wondering.” He stood and picked Ginny up with him. “How about we go in the bedroom and
start saying our farewells?” Ginny grinned and kissed him on the lips. She unclasped his robe and
it fell to his heels on the floor.

~*~

Draco sat a cross from Ginny as they had lunch.

“How much do you love me, Draco?”

**She did something you’re not going to like.**

“How much do you love me?” She asked when he didn’t respond.

He took his hand in hers, “More than you’ll ever know…”

“Good.” She smiled, “because I invited ‘Mione and some of the girls over to help me re-decorate
the manor.”

“What!? What’s wrong with my manor? I like it just the way it is.”

“*Our* manor seems really dark and gloomy-“

“That’s how I want it…and it’s going to stay that way.”

“Draco,” She whined, “We’re just going to change the guestrooms and the living room.”

“No pinks, purples, blues, reds, yellows, oranges…basically no colors besides black, white, grey
or green.”

“Burgundy?”

“No.”

“Please, please, please!!”

She stuck her bottom lip out, pouting, “Fine, just don’t ask for any of my help…I just get the
last say in what happens.”

“Okay.” She smiled and continued eating.

~*~

Hermione, Fleur, Lavender, and Luna sat in the living room of Malfoy Manor.

“Okay so Draco said we can do anything…it just has to be approved by him.”

“Well then we can’t do anything…he’ll shoot any ideas down because he thinks their too,
‘*girly*’.”

“No he won’t! If he does…he’ll be lacking a certain happy partner.” Ginny smiled, “Let’s get to
work!”

They took out the black leather couches and brought in a burgundy set of sofa’s.

“Draco!” Ginny screamed.

She waited for him to show up, “What?”

“Can you please take that picture out of here?”

“Excuse me?”

“The picture of your father…”

“No.”

“Well can you move it into his old study? I wanted to put one of our wedding there.”

“I told you not to ask for any of my help.”

“But…But…Please? It scares me.” She pouted and was about to stick out her bottom lip.

“You keep that lip right where it is, Virginia! Have one of your little girlfriends do it…I’m
busy.” He glared at her and walked out the room.

“He was against this whole thing from the begging.” Ginny turned towards the smirking picture of
Lucius Malfoy, “Damn you…” After conjuring up a blanket she levitated it over the picture and made
sure it stayed in place. She moved it over to the far side of the living room wall. “That’s much
better!”

Later when they were all done Ginny called Draco back into the room to look over it. As he
surveyed the room Ginny bit her lip.

“It’s fine.” He said finally, as if it were no big deal.

“That’s it? No, ‘Great job girls!’?”

Draco smiled, “Nive job ladies.”

“Thank you.” They all replied.

“Now Gin, if you don’t mind I’m going to get dinner started.”

“Do what you want,” She rolled her eyes, *‘Mr. Smartarse.’*

**You’re going to pay for whatever you did later.**

And he did pay…he had to sleep on the couch…again.

~*~

Ginny walked out of the bedroom in Draco’s shirt to see him napping in the sofa. She walked over
to him, “Draco…” She shook him awake.

“Hmm?”

“We need to talk.”

**She needs to complain.**

“What’s wrong?”

“I know you said you wanted to wait…but it’s been two months…” She sat on the couch next to
him.

“It’s fine Gin. If you want to have a baby now, I’m all for it.”

She smiled eyes wide, “You mean it?” He nodded, “Oh my god that’s great! Because I just took a
pregnancy test and it came out positive!”

“You sneaky little witch.”

“You know it.” She kissed him on the cheek, “But let’s not get our hopes up, I think we should
see a doctor to make sure.”

“Okay…do you want to go today?”

“Can we really!?” He nodded again, “Great! I’ll be ready in a minute.”

**I’ll be ready in a minute…she’s telling you to sit back and find something entertaining to
do.**

She grinned and clapped her hands, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She turned around and
started to walk out the room when she felt his eyes on her. She slowly turned back, “You were
checking me out weren’t you?”

She smiled as he licked his lips and winked at her, making her giggle.

~*~

~*~One Year Later~*~

Ginny poked Draco on the back as he kissed down her cheekbone, “Are you listening to me?”

“Hmm.”

“You need to learn how to communicate!”

**She wants you to agree with her.**

“Alright Ginny, you can paint the room blue, just stop yelling.”

“I’m not yelling!” Draco pushed himself up and paused his kissing, raising an eyebrow.

**She is yelling because she *thinks* it is important.**

“Okay! Yes I am yelling because we need to talk about this!”

*‘Thank God for Blaise and that book!’*

“And we will…just…later.” He kissed her on the lips. She kissed back and her hands went around
his neck.

“I told mum about us spending Christmas at The Burrow. She said it would be fine.”

He nodded and kissed his way down her neck, “Everyone’s going to be there and I expect you to
get even Ron to receive a gift from you.”

“Mhmm.” He hummed against slightly round stomach.

“Well…you’re certainly attentive tonight.”

**She thinks sex is all you *ever* think about.**

Draco smirked, “Well I can’t argue with that.”

“At least be romantic…turn out the lights, will you?”

**If she wants the lights off during sex, she probably thinks she has flabby thighs.**

“Gin…you look beautiful. And if you think you gained wait…it’s because you just had a baby, not
but three months ago!”

She frowned, “I know…I’m just dying to get back into shape.”

“You are in shape. You just have the curves of a mother.” She smiled.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, love.”

~*~

Ginny turned around and faced Draco in bed, “Was that the baby?”

**She wants *you* to get out of bed and stay with *your* child until he/she goes to
sleep.**

He sat up and sighed, “Fine...fine…I’ll go put him back to sleep.”

She grinned as he stood up, “I love you.”

“Love you too.” He walked out his own room and into Ryan’s. He walked to the crib and picked him
up, “Good morning to you too.” He kissed the soft hair of his four month old. “Daddy loves you
but…in all honesty…you have to stop waking him up this morning. He still needs his beauty sleep.”
Ryan made a soft gurgling noise.

Draco bounced the baby and walked to the rocking chair. He slowly rocked back and forth, “You
know Ry…I’ll never completely understand women. I used to think I was the…what would you call it?
Well you could call me The Master in The Art of Wooing.”

“But now that I know why they get angry…it just confuses me even more. I think I’ll put that
book to some good use.” Draco smiled when he looked down and saw his son was sleeping. Not wanting
to part with him, or wake him up he slowly walked back to his room and placed Ryan on his stomach
between he and Ginny. Ginny, though sleeping, moved closer to Ryan and Draco put an around the two.
“I love you.” He whispered before joining his family in a peaceful slumber.

~*~

Christmas at The Burrow was exciting though Ginny was upset that Draco had not given Ron a
present…but what Ginny didn’t know…wouldn’t hurt her…right?

Draco made his way towards Ron, “Hey…” Ron glared at him.

“I bought you a present…and you didn’t give me anything in return. I am appalled.” He joked.

“That’s the meaning of Christmas you dolt.” Draco smirked, “but I did get you something.” He
reached a hand in his robe pocket, “you can’t tell Gin or any of the girls for that matter.”

Ron nodded and took his present, slowly unwrapping it. He looked at the title of the book,
“Translating the Language of Women for Men.?” He opened it up and skim read.

Draco grinned as their wives walked over. “Ronnie! We need to go into Hogsemeade to buy some new
soap dishes…that’s all.” Luna said, taking Ginny’s advice.

*‘Now where have I heard that before?’* Draco patted Ron on the back, “Good luck to you
with that!”

~*~ Fin ~*~

This was a…spur of the moment kind of fic! Sorry if it’s confusing or seems rushed! I hope you
liked it and please do review! Tell me what you think…I’m working on another D/G One Shot at the
moment also!

*Betta-Ing Outtakes*

And he did pay…he had to sleep on the couch…again.

**Poor Draco, he can sleep with me! ^^ lol. Sorry, couldn’t reisit**

Woah…shh don’t tell I told you but she’s and under cover kind of freak ;) Heh, kidding! Gwenia,
I love ya!

http://kendal.bloodymongrel.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=109

That’s where I got the idea for this fic at! It just lists all of the things for translations! I
used those to make a story. I’m not sure who posted that because they said it was moved…but if by
chance you’re reading this, thanks! Also check out this new fanfiction site! www.fictionised.net It’s new and more people should join! The lay
outs nice! I like it! Well what are you waiting for? Review!! Happy MLK JR Day! Oh the Remember the
Titans movie is on! I love this!

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V (Yah, I’m desperate!)



