Screaming on the Inside by spikesbitch

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 03/05/2004
Last Updated: 12/02/2005
Status: In Progress

Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react. Each chapter from a different
character's POV.




1. Harry Potter
---------------

**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment..*

**Authors Note:** *This is the first every Harry Potter fanfic I ever wrote. I started it
before the fifth book came out and finally decided to post it on Portkey. Its been up on
fanfiction.net for awhile now. Still not finished but its slowly getting there.*


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**Harry’s POV**

I smile as I take a good look around the Gryffindor common room. Everyone was laughing good
naturedly, excitement coming off them in waves. We’d just won the Quidditch Cup with me as captain.
You couldn’t get much better than that, yet I still can’t shake the empty feeling of dread settling
at the bottom of my stomach.

As I look around the room a pang of guilt stabs me when I realise one of my best friends are
missing. I can’t believe I took until now to notice.

“Where’s Hermione?” I ask Ron and he looks slightly shocked at the suddenness of question, a
custard tart halfway to his mouth. Ron shrugged and the custard tart continued its journey.

I start to worry a bit when I realise I haven’t seen her since before the game when she wished
me luck outside the dressing rooms. She’s hugged me quickly before running off to catch up with
Lavender, Parvati and a few girls from our year I don’t know that well.

Sighing I find Lavender in the room and make my way over to her. I pose the same question I did
to Ron only to receive a funny look and a slightly startled “Not sure”.

I continue to comb the room for Hermione but still come up with nothing. The noise at the party
seems to have raised a few decibels. I’m just about to give Neville the same interrogation when the
portrait hole opens and Hermione steps through. The first thing I notice is the absence of books.
The second the haunted look on her face, tears glistening in her eyes.

The entire common room stopped what they were doing when Hermione came through the portrait
hole, as if everyone detected her mood. Hermione just stood there silent tear starting to fall. She
looked very shaky on her legs. Ron and I rush forward as everyone else watches knowing it was not
their place.

I reach her first gently reaching out so she doesn’t fall over like she was threatening to do,
her legs mysteriously week.

“Harry,” she manages to whisper before she dissolves completely into tears. Instinctively I pull
her into a fierce hug as she continues to cry on my shoulder. I can’t help but feeling completely
confused. Hermione usually has such a great handle on her emotions. True we didn’t understand where
they came from half the time but she was still never very public with them, me and Ron the only two
people privy to anything but her usual cool and calm exterior.

I look down at Hermione wondering exactly what was going on realising that she was still to
overcome by tears to tell me anything. Behind me I hear people moving around like they were making
a mass exodus of the common room to give us some privacy.

I gently rub my hand along Hermione’s back desperately trying to calm her tears. As I do she
appears to tighten her grip on me and I drop a gently kiss on top of her head not knowing what else
to do. She appears so lost.

I see Ron come up behind her, looking rather awkward, unsure of what to do. Gently he reached
out touching Hermione on her left shoulder squeezing gently. Hermione turned around and gave Ron a
tearful smile of thanks not moving an inch away. Ron nodded tersely taking that as a sign and left
the common room shooting a concerned look over his shoulder every few seconds.

I continue to stand there with Hermione crying in my arms. I’m not sure how long we stood there.
It could have been a few minutes or even a few hours. After awhile Hermione’s tears dry up and she
looks about ready to talk. I gently guide her to one of the couches near the still burning fire. We
sit facing each other and Hermione continues to look down as she searches for something in her
robes. Finally she pulls out what to me looks like a Muggle telegram. She hands it to me and I find
that I was right.

I give her a questioning look and she gestures for me to open it. Curiosity getting the better
of me I do so. What I find shocks me. On official government letterhead I don’t even have to finish
the first sentence to know what has happened. That one terrible sentence and you know what follows
is going to be bad news. “It is with deep regret that we inform you…”

“Car crash,” Hermione says simply as if reading my thoughts. I think it makes her feel better
that I understand the awfulness of getting a letter like that. Not having to read the whole thing
just knowing. “Drunk driver. Dead on arrival at the hospital.” Her voice is so flat and void of
emotion that it worries me more than the continually crying Hermione.

Hermione’s tears start to subside again and I know that she needs to talk about it. Rationalise
everything in her head. She can’t do that yet though. It still hurts her to breath. She’s still in
too much shock and the pain to real and blinding.

It scares me. Hermione not even being able to find an explanation for something. That’s how she
deals with everything and if you don’t have the solution someone else will have written it down in
a book.

“They’re gone,” she whispers, her voice flat and hollow, breaking my heart. I think she is
starting to realise exactly what this means. She quickly pushes me away and begins to stare at a
random spot above my head. Her tears have stopped flowing now. I could wave my hand in front of her
face and I don’t think she would see it.

“They’re really gone?” she asks as if there is some way I can make it not true by answering the
negative. For the first time in a long while I see the eleven year old I first met on the train
from Hogwarts not the cool, calm and collected seventh year she’s grown to be.

Knowing I can’t lie to her I just reach out and squeeze her hand. The gesture seems pretty
futile but I don’t know what else to do. Hermione looks up at me gratefully and surprises me by
crawling into my lap. “Hold me,” she whispers so quietly I nearly miss it. Quietly I oblige and
gently snake my arms around her.

We half sit, half lie on the couch as she cries quietly. I let her get it out of her system,
gently running my hand through her hair. Eventually Hermione cried herself to sleep. I sit for a
moment and just watch her. She looks peaceful in a miserable kind of way. Tear tracks still visible
on her face and I realise she’ll never be the same again.

I don’t know why the sudden realisation shocks me but it does. I guess I always considered
Hermione as the constant in my wizarding life. The book-loving witch who was always ready to step
into the fray for her friends no matter how dangerous the situation.

Rousing my from my thoughts Ron creeps into the common room to check on us. “How is she?” he
asks in a whisper.

I just shake my head, it’s a loaded question. I answer the unasked easy one instead. “Her
parents, in a car crash.” I see Ron visibly pale. In shock he sits down at the end of our couch,
just missing Hermione’s feet. Thankfully Hermione doesn’t stir. Ron looks at me again in disbelief
so I hand him the letter and he reads it with a shocked look on his face. “Poor Hermione,” he
breaths. I know he doesn’t know what else to say. He gently strokes Hermione’s foot.

Quietly he gets up and kisses Hermione on the forehead. She gently stirs in her sleep snuggling
closer to my chest but she doesn’t wake. Ron nods gently. “Should get her to bed,” he tells me.

I nod and gently rearrange her in my lap so I can pick her up. As I stand she mumbles something
incoherent in her sleep. Ron and I look up at each other both knowing she had been having
nightmares, this would only add fuel to the fire. “I got her,” I tell Ron and he steps back a bit,
walking slightly ahead of us to open the doors.

Together Ron and I tuck take Hermione’s shoes off and tuck her in, not wanting to wake the other
girls in the dorm to dress her properly we just put her in bed in her day clothes. I gently kiss
her on the forehead and move to follow Ron out the door when she stirs. She looks up at me and
grabs my wrist to keep me from moving away. “Harry? Stay with me.” I hesitate for a second. “I
don’t want to be alone.” Unable to say no to her I shoot a quick look to Ron who was already
halfway out the door. He gave me a half-smile and disappeared completely out the door.

Silently I kick my shoes off and crawl into the bed next to her where Hermione immediately
huddles closer feeling the need for contact with another person. We stay there in silence for
awhile until she final breaks the quiet.

“Harry?” she questions quietly. “Thanks.”

Softly I press my lips to the top of her head. “Go to sleep,” I mumble. She doesn’t say another
word just closes her eyes and tries to do what she was told.



2. Lavender Brown
-----------------

**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment. The title
belongs to Sara McLaughlin.*

**Authors Note:** *Please review it helps get things out quicker.*


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**Lavender’s POV**

I wake suddenly out of my restless sleep wondering what I’m worried about. As I stare at the
curtains it suddenly hits me. Hermione. After her little scene in the common room I’m more than
just worried about her. I’m downright terrified. It’s very rare for Hermione to show any emotion in
public, I guess a side effect from hanging around with Harry and Ron. Consequently always finding
herself in danger. I left the common room last night knowing that she was in Harry’s very capable
hands but that still doesn’t do much to help ease my worry.

Without even putting on my dressing gown I quietly open the bed curtains and take a peak at
Hermione’s bed. What I see there is unbelievably sweet. Still in his Quidditch robes minus the pads
fast asleep is Harry his arms protectively around Hermione still dressed in her school robes and
sleeping restlessly. I can still see tear tracks marring Hermione’s otherwise pretty face.

Silently I back away from the curtain smiling to myself. I’m not shocked to find Harry in
Hermione’s bed in fact I’d be more shocked if he wasn’t there. My smile grows as I remember the
shock I got when I first caught them in Hermione’s bed.

It was in fifth year, Ron and Hermione had, had a whirlwind romance and kept Harry close by as
their best friend. The whole school thought they would be together forever and had grand illusions
of an early wedding. And then it all went kabloey when Hermione and Ron had a small fight. That
small fight turned into a very public World War III when Ron had the gall to suggest that Hermione
was having an affair with Harry. Of course this wasn’t true, but the damage. Harry and Hermione
were unbelievably close friends, closer than most people could comprehend. It made Ron insanely
jealous but he couldn’t see the platonic and only part of the relationship. Hermione had been upset
to say the least and Harry was irate.

That night Harry clad only in his boxes had snuck into our dorm and he and Hermione just sat on
her bed and talked. Imagine Parvati and my surprise when we flung the curtain open, armed with
chocolate, make-up, nail polish and all things a girl needs for a cheer-up slumber party and we
found the half-naked Harry sitting on one end of the bed and Hermione in her pyjamas at the other
both laughing heartedly over hot chocolate. Bumbling apologies and unable to take our eyes off
Harry’s well-muscled chest we slowly backed out of the room until the hysterical pair invited us to
stay. From that night on I always had the highest regard for Harry and was never surprised to find
him lurking around our dorm during strange hours at night or early in the morning. On the same
token if Hermione was ever missing from her bed the first place everyone thought to check was
Harry’s bed.

Now don’t get me wrong the entire teaching staff knew about this arrangement, they would be
naïve not to. They just didn’t say anything about it. They accepted the relationship as entirely
platonic as everyone in the school did. Yet along with the rest of the school they each hoped that
one day the pair would just wake up and realise that they were not best friends but in fact very
much in love. Also the professors were smart enough to know that they would never be able to change
this sleeping arrangement no matter how hard they tried.

I jump slightly when I hear a noise just behind me. I turn quickly and breathe a sigh of relief
when I find that it’s only Ginny come to check on Hermione. Silently she points to Hermione’s bed
chambers wanting to know if it’s okay to go in there. ‘Harry’ I mouth back and she gets the
message. Instead she comes and sits on my bed ready to wait until the pair come out.

Ginny seems to be in the mood for a bit of nostalgia when she suddenly blurts out “Remember when
Cho and Harry broke up?” I stuff my hand over my mouth trying to muffle my giggles as memories of
that night came flooding back. I look up to see Ginny mimicking my actions.

Not long after her break-up with Ron, Hermione had started to have some horrible nightmares and
as far as I knew she still is. Anyway to combat her nightmares Hermione would make her way to the
boys’ dorm room and crawl into bed with Harry. Some nights Harry would stay the night in Hermione’s
bed rocking her to sleep. On this particular night, unknown to Hermione, Harry and Cho had
organised a late night tryst which had ended up in Harry’s bed and Hermione burst into Harry’s bed
chamber scared witless from her nightmare. Thinking the pair were both asleep Hermione tore back to
her own bed absolutely mortified. Harry, however, had seen her, slipped on some boxers and left a
sleeping Cho to go find her. Harry did a good job of comforting the distraught girl until Cho came
storming in not happy with her boyfriend. Apparently she had woken Ron asking after Harry and still
drowsy with sleep Ron had pointed her in Hermione’s direction.

Unlucky for the pair, Cho had found Hermione with her head lying on Harry’s bare chest talking
softly to him and she just happened to walk in as Harry placed a soft his on the top of Hermione’s
head. Irate Cho started yelling all kinds of profanity’s at the pair and waking the all the girls
in Gryffindor. Harry thinking Cho knew the nature of his relationship with Hermione looked on
shocked unable to say anything. Hermione still too upset from her nightmare and embarrassment to
say anything. Without a second thought Ginny, Parvati and I started yelling back yelling her that
she could like it or lump it. It had all ended when Cho looked at a silent Harry for his take on
the situation. His reply was one of the sweetest things I had ever heard. “Cho, I’m really sorry.
Hermione and I come as a package. If you can’t accept her importance to me than you can’t accept
me.” Cho had looked at Harry for a couple of seconds in disbelief before turning sharply on her
heal and walking out the door.

Ginny and I stopped laughing at the same time and she took on a wistful expression. It didn’t
last for long as she nearly jumped out of her skin when Ron came up from behind her and pulled her
into a rather fierce bear hug. Slightly startled she hugged her brother back before pulling back to
question him. Without letting go of Ginny’s hand Ron walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the
temple. Yeah, so, he’s my boyfriend. Deal with it. He grabbed my hand with his spare hand rather
possessively. It was my turn to give Ron a questioning look. He swallowed noticeable before
shocking the hell out of us with the news. “Hermione’s parents… there was an accident… in a car…
neither of them made it.”

Everything stoped for a second and then the pair of us look at Ron in total disbelief. That only
lasts a few seconds before we realise just how much that explains Hermione’s actions from the night
before, why Harry and Hermione had not showered before venturing into bed and why Ron was being so
possessive. “Hermione,” Ginny whispers. I nod agreeing with her statement.

We sit for awhile each lost in our own thoughts. Our hearts going out to Hermione. Gradually
girls from our house come to sit around my bed in silent support for Hermione, each being told the
tragic story as they approach. I’m not sure how long we sat there but it can’t have been too long
yet it seemed like an age.

We were all broken out of revere when Professor McGonagall breezed into the room, her eyes
looking slightly teary. Ginny was the first to react jumping in front of the curtains blocking the
professor’s path. “You can’t go in there Professor,” she announced while still managing to sound
respectful. “Hermione… she’s still really upset you see. Asked to be alone.”

McGonagall gave Ginny a rather withering look. “Ms. Weasley if you think I’m going to believe
that you are sorely mistaken. I know that Potter is in there with her and frankly I wouldn’t expect
any less of him.” Reeling in shock Ginny stood aside letting the professor through. With a slight
and strained smile Professor McGonagall walked through the curtain turning to snap it shut behind
her.



3. Professor McGonagall
-----------------------

**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment.*

**Authors Note:** *I decided to be really nice and put the third chapter out today as well.
Chapter uploads are not always going to be this quick because I’m majorily stuck on the chapter I
am working on now. Don’t worry that’s a few chapters off yet. I’m hoping by posting it at Portkey I
get all inspired.*

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**Professor McGonagall’s POV**

Despite the tragic situation I can’t help but smile a bit as the young Ginny Weasley lets me
through to see Hermione and Harry. Just like a Weasley to be so protective of her friend. She
reminds me so much of her mother it’s uncanny. I resist looking at the bed for a second before
turning around and shutting the curtains on the concerned young Gryffindors.

Away from the prying eyes I now take the time to survey the bed chambers. I smile as I look on
the scene and am immediately taken back about twenty years. I had not long since been made
Gryffindor House mistress when James Potter and Lily Evans had both missed the prefect meeting and
everyone claimed ignorance as to their whereabouts. Finally finding my last straw I had gone myself
to check in Lily’s bedroom. I was incredibly surprised when I found James and Lily in bed together
much in the fashion that Harry and Hermione were now.

I lean over and very much regret what I am about to do. In the next few days I doubt Hermione
will be able to find even this small amount of peace. Gently I shake Harry awake careful not to
arouse Hermione, I’ll leave those honours to Harry.

Harry stirs and wakes looking up and jumps, startled, when he sees who has woken him. He quickly
opens his mouth to offer an explanation but seems to be unable to come up with any he finds
acceptable. In any other situation it would have been amusing.

I raise my hand and quickly silence him. “No need, Mr Potter. Professor Dumbledore needs to see
the both of you in his office.” Harry nods grimly knowing what was coming. He then turns to me and
gives me a slightly pointed look. I nod and turn around giving them some privacy.

As I turn I see him gently kiss Hermione on the top of her head. “Hermione,” I hear him
whisper.

While Harry gently tries to wake Hermione my mind wonders back to the past seven years. Over
time the pair had almost become a fixture among the hallways, making their own stamp on Hogwarts.
It was rare that a group of students came along that made such an impact on the school that when
they did the professors, ghost and paintings all paid close attention to them. From the day Harry,
Ron and Hermione had been sorted into Gryffindor together everyone had sat up and taken notice.

The three of them had wondered the halls absolutely inseparable cooking up some counter plot to
that years evil. Recently the trio was more often seen as the duo as Ron was not very often seen
with them. An event which occurred after his fifth year fling with Hermione and that fact had
placed a small strain on their friendships. Most peoples guess was that words were said that were
unforgivable even though it appeared that none of the trio noticed.

There was hardly a day go by when I didn’t see the pair walking down the hallway hand in hand or
Harry’s arm draped over Hermione’s shoulder. One day as Albus and I watched Harry and Hermione walk
down the hallway Harry’s arm around Hermione and whispering something in her ear Albus mentioned to
me what I thought was so obvious I couldn’t believe I missed it. His exact words were “Looks like
we’ve got Lily and James take two.” At the time I was startled by the revelation but putting some
thought to it I could not disagree with him.

I hear them both get up off the bed and I turn back around. “I suggest you both get yourselves
freshened up before we go see the Headmaster.” Hermione just stares dumbly ahead. I can tell she
has heard the words but they make no sense to her. Harry nods slowly and turns back to Hermione.
“I’ll be back soon,” he whispers into her temple before he quickly turns on his heel and leaves the
room.

“Are you okay?” I ask Hermione. She nods slightly and I realise that she is as okay as she is
going to be. “I’ll let you get changed.” I pause as she nods again. “Do you want one of the girls
to help you?” Hermione shakes her head and starts to move around the room on autopilot. Unable to
do anything more for her I leave the room to allow her to change into some clean robes.

As I slip back through the curtains the young faces turn to look up at me, wanting reassurance.
“She’s as well as expected,” I tell them not wishing to lie. I see Ron nod and wince slightly. That
is when I realise that his little sister is gripping his hand as hard as she can, her knuckles
white. I try to give them a reassuring smile but it comes out more of a worried grimace.

We stand in silence for a couple of minutes the students just enjoying the comfort of each
other’s company. We had not been standing there for long when Harry came rushing back in still
buttoning up his shirt in his hurry back to Hermione. I can’t help but notice Lavender, Parvati and
Ginny give his chest an appreciative glance before turning away quickly.

As Harry finished buttoning his shirt Hermione emerged from behind the curtains, looking a lot
more like herself. She offers everyone a weak smile. With a couple of quick steps she crosses the
room and finishes tying Harry’s tie for him. The scene was so decidedly domestic. As she finished
she flattened the tie down with her hand and then looked up at Harry. “Ready?” she questioned.
Harry nodded slightly and the pair were out the door before I knew what was happening.

Quickly shaking myself I follow them realising that it was Hermione’s way of dealing with the
grief. She had cried all she was going to for now and was taking charge of the situation as best
she could. Trying to keep her mind off what had happened.

Before I knew it we had reached the gargoyle which stood at Albus’ office entrance and Harry
mumbled the password, “raspberry twist”. It struck me then how often Harry must have found himself
in the headmaster’s office if he knew the password without hesitation. As we waited rode the spiral
staircase up to the office Harry and Hermione carried out a conversation with their eyes giving the
entire situation a slightly eerie feel.

“Ah, Miss Granger, Mr Potter,” Albus greeted as we entered the room. “Thank you, Minerva. Take a
seat if you will.” Hermione and I took a seat whilst Harry stood behind Hermione’s chair, as if he
were standing guard.

“Miss Granger, first off let me say how sorry I am for your loss.” Hermione nodded and Albus
continued. “I wish it were possible that we were here under circumstances not so grim. Alas, I know
this is painful but we must make arrangements. I have been in correspondence with you’re aunt and
she has agreed to pick you up from train in London.”

Hermione nodded again. “Professor,” she asked in a hollow voice. “Is it possible for someone
from Hogwarts to come with me? It’s just that I don’t know my extended family all that well…”
Hermione let her sentence trail off. Harry looked down at Hermione surprised whilst Albus nodded,
understanding.

“I’ll allow for Mr Potter to accompany you,” Hermione grinned slightly, “however, I am unable to
allow Mr Weasley to go as well.” Hermione and Harry looked up at Albus in slight shock. I must say
I was shocked at his revelation as well. “Mr Weasley is wizard born Miss Granger. I can only
imagine the havoc he would create forced into Muggle surroundings.”

“Thank-you Professor,” Hermione answered. Slowly I tuned out the conversation going on around me
and took to studying Hermione. I was having trouble figuring out her reaction. True she was always
such a controlled person, rigidly sticking to the rules yet she was governed by her emotions, a
true Gryffindor. Right now she seemed to be thinking entirely with her head and not her heart an
unusual occurrence for the Head Girl, especially after seven years of such close quarters to Harry
Potter.

I realise that she must have closed off her emotions, her coping mechanism. It pained me too
see. I watched as Harry’s hand came down and gave her shoulder a squeeze. Almost on reflex Hermione
reached up and squeezed Harry’s hand back. A couple of seconds later both of them stand to leave
and I realise Albus must have dismissed them.

As they both make there way back down the stairs Albus turns to me, “Out of great tragedy the
most beautiful things may blossom.”



4. Ronald Weasley
-----------------

**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment.*

**Authors Note:** *Thanks to all who have reviewed. Its making my writers block start to go
away. I still haven’t written a word on the chapter I’m stuck on (I think its chapter 14 or 15) but
ideas are at least running through my head now. How fast I get this depends on two things… a) real
life b) how many reviews I get. I’m a review whore.*

*For those of you who asked for Ron’s POV, as luck would have it… here it is.*


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**Ron’s POV**

The entire common room stopped and turned as my two best friends tried to slip quietly through
the portrait hole. They were completely unsuccessful as the news had spread like wildfire through
the Gryffindor tower. When Hermione saw everyone stop and stare at them on instinct Hermione
reached for Harry’s hand. I watch as Harry’s gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.

I don’t think a single person in the common room would have noticed that except for me. They
were always doing simple things like that. Offering each other support when it was needed. It was
damn well sweet in an annoying kind of way. I should know, after all I was their best friend. It
was what made them Harry and Hermione and Hermione and Harry. That’s how everyone referred to them
these days. You couldn’t mention one without the other. At times their names just blended into each
other resulting in some rather strange words coming out of people’s mouths.

As Harry and Hermione exchange a quick glance and do that freaky talk with their eyes bit they
are notorious for I’m suddenly rather painfully reminded of how insanely jealous a simple act like
that would have had me a couple of years ago. Jealous enough to accuse Hermione of cheating on me
with Harry, and that was before they had been found in the same bed. I’m glad to say I’ve got over
it and accepted the fact that nothing will change whatever those two have going on. Although my
jealousy was enough to place a permanent rift between myself and the other two. We pretend not to
notice but neither of them has completely forgiven me for my accusation. I wouldn’t forgive me
either.

To my complete shock Hermione drops Harry’s hand and heads up to her dormitory. My jaw drops
when Harry doesn’t even look like he is going to follow. Instead he is coming to talk to me and
settling down in the chair across from me. I never thought Harry would leave Hermione alone for two
seconds at a time like this. The shock must have registered on my face because Harry suddenly spoke
without even a preamble.

“She doesn’t need someone hovering over her every second of the day. She’s a tough girl.”

We sit in silence for a couple of seconds before Harry starts to fidget in his chair, casting
nervous glances at the top of the stairs. I let him do so for a couple of seconds before it starts
to really get on my nerves.

“Bloody hell,” I mutter. “What happened to ‘she doesn’t needs anyone hovering’ and ‘she’s a
tough girl’?”

Harry gives me a massively shocked look. “Just because its true doesn’t mean I have to like it,”
he mutters to me. Ah, so he’s suffering normal ‘Harry Syndrome’, always so protective of her.

Suddenly Harry stands and I think he is about to start pacing the floor. I swear he’s nearly
worn holes in the common room floor over the years trying to walk out his worry over one thing or
the other.

“Breakfast anyone?” I hear a voice from behind me ask. I turn and am slightly surprised to see
Hermione just behind my chair ready to eat with a book in her hand of course. I feel Harry’s eyes
on me and I know exactly what he is trying to tell me without looking. ‘Just be normal.’ So I
am.

“Of course, I’m starving,” I exclaim standing up.

We all make our way to the dinning room talking all the way about nothing really. Hermione acts
likes nothing has changed forcing me to study her for a bit. I can see that she is just putting on
a brave face and doing a very good job of it.

If nothing else the change is in her eyes. I am used to see them twinkling with life. Now they
have lost that twinkle. Her grief is bubbling just below the surface and she looks like she could
burst into tears at any moment. The whole pretend like nothing has happened is her way of dealing.
Never one to dwell she always tries to move on as quick as possible.

Before any of us realise we are at the dining room. I hear Hermione take a deep breathe beside
me. News always spreads fast around Hogwarts so it wasn’t a stretch to think that the entire school
knew, especially with Hermione being Head Girl.

We opened the door and immediately the Great Hall was silent as everyone turned to look at us,
well look at Hermione to be more precise. I feel Hermione physically shrink back and I know she is
about to flee.

“What?” I ask loudly. “Do I have toilet paper in my shoe or something?” A couple of people
titter at my humour but most of the school turn back to their breakfast and conversations slightly
ashamed at their nosy natures. Hermione gives me a grateful smile. “No problem,” I whisper in her
ear.

We make our way to our usual seats at the Gryffindor table which my little sister has saved for
us. Not that anyone would even dream of taking them, we have practically stamped our names on
them.

Conversation around the breakfast table seemed to be rather slow today; everyone was treading on
egg shells, not wanting to say the wrong thing. Well slow until Draco Malfoy slid into a chair next
to Harry. I tensed but Harry stayed completely relaxed.

“Nice catch yesterday, Potter,” Draco told him without a hint of malice. I always have trouble
remembering those two are both friends in the loosest sense of the word. I’m not really sure how it
happened we just woke up one morning and they were talking and joking around without the death
threats. I called Harry on it one time and his only reply was ‘some things you can’t go through
together without being friends’. Although to me Malfoy is still the same slime ball he had always
been. Hermione seemed to accept him though but I think Harry gave her a more complete version of
the story.

“Harry, you won?” Hermione suddenly asked. “Congratulations.” Our little part of the table was
suddenly dead silent as realisation hit us all. Hermione missed the last part of the Quidditch
match because she was being told about her parents. That was why Harry didn’t know where she was at
the party; he was in the air when it happened. I take a quick look at Lavender and I can see she is
thinking the same thing.

“Um, yeah, we did,” Harry told her only to be emersed in a congratulatory hug from Hermione.

Malfoy had picked up a piece of bacon from our table and was munching happily on it. “Bloody
good catch, too.” he announced. “Surprised he didn’t fall off his broom.”

“When doesn’t Harry nearly fall off when he’s catching the snitch?” Hermione asked
half-jokingly.

In that single moment Malfoy suddenly became a lot less evil. He was a lot better a pretending
that he didn’t know or didn’t care and that’s what Hermione needed right now was normal. And so
that was what we were going to give her. I suddenly feel Lavender give my hand a slight squeeze and
I turn to look at her and I know she knows exactly what I’m thinking. I give her a quick smile
before I turn back to the conversation.

“You know I’m careful, Mione,” Harry tries to tell her.

“I worry about you, that’s all,” Hermione answered simply. Harry throws his arm around Hermione
and whispers something in her ear before giving her a gentle kiss on the temple. Her worried look
doesn’t waver for a second. That’s when I know without a doubt it’s not that simple. With them it’s
never simple.



5. Ginny Weasley
----------------

**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment.*

**Authors Note:** *Thanks to all my lovely reviewers. You make me feel really special. I
don’t think I’ve mentioned it before but check our my site – http://feedthesoul.hyperboards.com*


*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*

**Ginny’s POV**

I watch silently as Harry throws his arm around Hermione, whispering something in her ear before
kissing her on the temple. The worried look stayed painted on Hermione’s face. I couldn’t really
blame her; Quidditch was a dangerous sport, especially the way Harry played it. They acted like a
married couple at times.

Harry was infamous for his talks to any male who even expressed the slightest interest in
Hermione. On more than one occasion I had seen Harry corner some guy and threaten him that if he
ever hurt Hermione he would personally inflict them into a whole new world of pain. Of course the
whole school knew about these talks but had somehow managed to keep Hermione from knowing about
them. On the same token Hermione gave any girl who even looked at Harry with interest a vicious
third degree. All without Harry knowing of course.

“So what’s everyone’s plans for the weekend?” I ask desperate to get away from the topic of
Quidditch before the boys started being ridiculous about it. Best speak now before being human gets
overshadowed by a stupid game. When I see the look on Hermione’s face I immediately regret opening
my mouth. You’d think I’d learn but I still manage to put my foot in my mouth at the worst
times.

“The funerals’ are on Monday. We leave after breakfast.” Harry answered quietly.

As silence seems to consume the table I notice the rather surprised look on my brother’s face.
It became all too obvious that he was not included in Harry’s “we” and knew nothing of the funeral
plans.

The silence started to stretch out no one knowing what to say. The talkative ones in our group
were silent, not wanting to put their foot in it. Surprisingly it was Draco Malfoy who saved the
day. Draco smirked, “You two are beyond sickening, you know that?” As he spoke he gestured to Harry
and Hermione; ignoring any conversation since he had last spoken. Sheepishly Harry let his arm slid
off Hermione’s shoulders. Hermione pouted slightly at Harry and he gave her a lopsided grin.

“You two are so cute,” Lavender squealed giving me a slight ear ache. As I looked at Harry and
Hermione blushing I realised how inappropriate it was to be teasing them about their
non-relationship. However, Hermione seemed slightly more cheerful than she had been for awhile so I
kept my mouth shut.

“Jealousy is not a good look on you, Malfoy,” Hermione quipped and got a smirk in return. That
smirk was enough to turn most girls’ knees to jelly but Hermione didn’t even waver she just
shrugged and turned back to her toast. She succeeded in her goal and Malfoy bit back.

“It’s a better look than having Potter as my permanent appendage.” Malfoy pretended to be deep
in thought. “Now I know why you haven’t had a date in years?” His voice held none of the edge it
would have a couple of years ago and Hermione smiled sweetly back at him before letting out a snort
that couldn’t be mistaken for anything but laughter. Harry was soon to follow, laughing whole
heartedly at whatever the pair had suddenly deemed hilarious. The look on Draco’s face was nothing
short of classic and it sends me into a fit of giggles. As we continue to laugh Ron looks at us
like we’re all mad. I abruptly stop giggling realising he’s not the only one giving us weird
looks.

The entire Great Hall is looking at us surprised. Hermione’s parents just died and we’re
giggling like a group of twelve-year-olds. The thought strikes me as entirely ludicrous and
unresentful. As if preordained Harry and Hermione stop giggling at exactly the same time. As
Hermione looks around at the baffled faces of Hogwart’s students I can almost see the reality of
the past twenty-four hours hit Hermione. Her face immediately becomes sombre and tears well in her
eyes.

“Harry,” she whispers, her voice croaking like she’s about to cry, which she probably is.
Immediately Harry grabs her hand and begins to lead Hermione from the Great Hall, saving her from
the embarrassment of breaking down publicly.

A deathly silence fills the Great Hall and everyone seems afraid to move, staring at the couple
as they leave. The heavy doors bang close the noise causing a few people to jump. The door closing
seemed to signal the end of the spectacle and people seemed to turn back to their breakfast
conversation.

“Jesus, you would think people didn’t have a life of their own,” I hear Lavender mutter. No one
says anything but I know they all agree with her. Harry and Hermione had inadvertently become the
Hogwarts soap opera and nothing anyone did seemed to be able to change that. Believe me we tried
everything.

We continue to eat our breakfast in silence, Draco still at the table with us. He seemed
reluctant to leave for some reason. Shrugging I turn back to my breakfast, there wasn’t much I
could do about it was there.

We all finished our breakfast without a word at a leisurely pace. Silently we all got up from
the table and headed towards the Gryffindor common room; nodding our goodbyes to Draco or in Ron’s
case glaring.

The trip to the common room was silent; we were all too lost in our own thoughts, not knowing
exactly what to say. We reach the common room, Ron giving the password to the Fat Lady and curl up
on the soft couches by the fire. Lavender crawled into Ron’s lap and seemed contented to just sit
there, apparently needing the comfort. I curl myself up in one of the armchairs barely noticing
that I wrap my arms around myself. I guess we all need a bit of comfort at the moment.

I’m not sure how long we sit there for, enjoying each other’s company, finding a strange comfort
in the silence. We hadn’t been sitting there for long when Dean, Seamus and Parvati came to join
us. We all just sat there staring into the fire our own thoughts washing over us.

Our silence was broken as Harry and Hermione entered the common room both carrying an overnight
bag and dressed in Muggle clothes. Looking at Harry dressed in a black what appeared to be silk
shirt and beige dress pants topped with a black leather jacket I gain a sudden appreciation of
Muggle clothing. Out of the corner of my eye I see Lavender and Parvati appear to be thinking the
same thing.

The boys are not excluded from this sudden Muggle appreciation meeting. I see them eyeing
Hermione off. She wore a simple pair of hipster jeans, a pale blue spaghetti strap top, which
revealed just a bit of her stomach. Her coat was to die for, suede lined with a shaggy fake fur of
some kind. Her feet clad in a pair of black leather boots which disappeared under the leg of her
jeans so there was no way of telling how high they were.

“We’re off,” Harry announced unnecessarily, shaking us all from our thoughts. Harry gestures to
Ron, he obviously wants to talk to him. As they wander slightly away from the group to give
themselves some privacy I notice the tears shinning in Hermione’s eyes.

Not know what else to do I walk over to her and pull her into a fierce hug, offering her all the
comfort and support I can give. As we pull back I notice Hermione cock her head to the side, biting
her bottom lip, looking me up and down. It’s the same look she gives Harry when she’s trying to
figure something out that he’s trying to hide.

“You’re so much like you’re mother,” she finally states simply. I smile at her. Usually a
statement like that would have me in a flurry but I know she means it as a compliment. I smile
slightly at her.

“’Mione,” Harry calls, grabbing her attention and pointing to his wrist. Obviously they have to
leave soon. Hermione hugs me again before she moves to say goodbye to Ron. As they hug I walk over
to Harry.

“Look after her,” I tell him quietly. Slowly Harry turns and gives me an incredulous look. He
simply raises an eyebrow at me, surprised I even had to ask him that. I nod shortly. Nothing was
going to happen to Hermione if Harry could prevent it.



6. Hermione Granger
-------------------



**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merel**y for the
enjoyment.*

**Authors Note:** *Thanks to all who have reviewed.* *This is my favourite chapter so
of this fic so far so I really hope you enjoy it. Its longer, sadder… don't ask me why but it
was really fun to write. So more than usual I really hope you enjoy.*

*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*

**Hermione's POV**

I'm numb. That's the only way I can describe how I'm feeling now. Every emotion
I've felt in the last day has been filtered. Only half of what I would usually feel. Except for
the grief. Oh, that was coming in loud and clear. It was like the feeling had consumed me; leaving
no room for anything else.

When I hugged Ron and Ginny goodbye I didn't feel the usual warm fuzzies as I usually did.
Harry's hand on my back, guiding me didn't send tingles down my spine like it usually did,
instead it just felt like a dead weight. Yet somehow his mere presence prevents me from becoming
the weepy mess I was last night.

After a round of goodbyes we quietly head out of the portrait hole and head toward Professor
Dumbledore's office. I vaguely remember the discussion that took place there this morning.
Apparently we were going to take a portkey to the nearest Muggle train station and then go from
there. At least that's what Harry had told me happened during our meeting in the office. I was
so zoned out during the conversation that I only caught snippets.

“'Mione,” I snap out of my self imposed stupor and look up at Harry. I'm struck by the
sudden realisation of how tall Harry has become. It's ridiculous how the mind works at
times.

“Huh?” my voice comes out sounding detached. I know I'm running on autopilot.

“We're leaving,” Harry says simply. We lock eyes for a second and I see emerald eyes stare
back at me full of concern. I take a step back and shift the weight of the bag on my shoulder.
I'll never be ready for this.

Dumbledore hands Harry an old crisp packet which we must have been using as a portkey. I look up
at Dumbledore and he gives me a gentle nod. Reaching out I grasp the chip packet an immediately
feel the familiar tugging at my navel.

A few seconds later my feet touch the ground and I open my eyes taking a look at my new
surroundings. As Harry had said we had been dropped at a Muggle train station.

I must have been standing there staring because I suddenly hear Harry's voice in my ear,
“Train leaves in five.”

I'm dimly aware of nodding. Together we board the train and I must be looking rather spaced
because Harry keeps giving me weird looks. Like he's trying to figure out what's going on
in my head. Good luck with that one, Harry. When you succeed in that, clue me in because I've
got no idea.

I take the window seat resting my forehead against the cool glass. The sensation brings back a
flood of memories. Tears prick my eyes and I bite my lip trying to hold back. From the corner of my
eye I see Harry about to give me a hug. I pull away. The second he touches me I know I'll lose
control. That's all I'm about at this point - control.

Harry gives me a slightly questioning look I would have missed if I didn't know him so well.
Luckily he keeps his mouth shut.

The train starts to move and I watch everything move past my window, slowly at first and then
gaining speed constantly. As the buildings begin to move past faster and faster I get the distinct
impression that I'm watching my life. Powerless to go out there and change anything, powerless
to stop the train.

I zoned, completely, lost in my thought for God knows how long until Harry gently touches me on
the shoulder to let me know we were at Kings Cross. I stand and stretch. Reality comes crashing
down around me as I realise how hungry I am. Checking my watch I'm shocked to find its half
past one.

I tense slightly at the very thought of lunch with my aunt and cousins. I knew they all meant
well but it was going to be a disaster of dancing around each others grief, saying the wrong thing
and the inevitable and horrible awkward silences. On instinct I reach for Harry's hand,
desperately searching for comfort.

My actions give me a welcome distraction from my current train of thought. I begin to wonder
when it became such and instinct to grab my best friend's hand when in distress. I know I never
grab Ron's hand on instinct even when we were together it was always more of an afterthought.
If Ron had been here instead of Harry I would probably be burying my feelings deep beneath and
putting on the brave face instead of letting him take the lead.

I'm snapped back to reality when someone jostles past me mumbling their apologies. I'm
now standing on the platform, people rushing in every direction past me, my hand still firmly in
Harry's. I really need to start paying more attention.

“Hermione!” I snap around to see my aunt and cousins standing in a small group. I feel
Harry's eyes on me and I nod slowly knowing I'll never be ready for this. I take a deep
breath. I might as well get this over and done with.

As we approach I notice the red rims around Aunt Cecily's eyes and the red tip of her nose
from too much blowing. I realise I probably look worse, the kind of worse that makes you look and
wonder what was happening to make someone look so horrible. Great, just what I need, strangers'
pity.

“Hermione!” Aunt Cecily exclaims again, in a pitying tone, before sweeping me into what was
supposed to be a comforting hug. Instead I just felt cold, my arms like stone as I moved them in an
effort to return the favour. Cecily pretends not to notice my stiffness but I can feel Harry's
eyes watching me intently.

My cousin Matt is the next to try and greet me. “Herms,” he simply states his nickname for me
before pulling me into a tight hug. I don't even bother with the charade. I stand there stiff
as a board. I hear him whisper something in my ear. I understand each word but together they
don't make sense. He pulls back but doesn't push. I'm suddenly very grateful that Matt
is around my age.

I barely acknowledge the presence of Matt's two little sisters. We never really got along
that well anyway. They were both too girlie girl.

Attention is now suddenly on Harry who's been standing slightly apart from us pretending to
be very engrossed in the ceiling.

“And this is?” Aunt Cecily asks not bothering to hide her surprise whilst giving me a strange
look. The realisation that she saw us walk up holding hands hits me and my mind reels to the amount
of times I heard her outspoken lecture about “young people these days” and their dating habits.
Taking no notice that Matt was one of the biggest players I've come across. Well screw what she
thinks.

“Harry Potter, M'am,” Harry introduces himself with a slight smile extending his hand. I can
see that Aunt Cecily is taking a liking to him as she takes is hand and shakes it firmly. I
shouldn't be surprised; everyone falls in love with Harry Potter. “Friend of Hermione's
from school. I assume Professor Dumbledore told you I was coming.”

Aunt Cecily continues to look at Harry as if she is unsure what to make of him. She nods slowly
confirming Harry's statement yet still managing to look confused. Dumbledore probably forgot to
mention the fact that Harry was male and in Aunt Cecily's stuck-in-the-fifties mind assumed
best friend meant a female someone.

Out of the corner of my eyes I see a girl about eleven trailing excitedly after her parents.
Unable to help myself I turn and follow the small family's movements. My eyes begin to sting
slightly as I noticed the girl clutching to desperately to a well-thumbed book. I realise I'm
staring but I can't tear my eyes away. They remind me so much of me and my parents.

Reality closes in on me. My mind starts to catalogue all the things I'll never hear or do
again. Small things like my dad yelling at me to get my nose out of a book and to the dinner table.
Or my mum giving me little knowing smiles as I told her all about what kind of trouble I got into
with Harry and Ron during the school year.

I'm dimly aware of silent tears streaking down my face and a conversation going on around
me. I hear Harry mention the word `lunch' and my stomach gives a lurch. Five minutes ago my
stomach was making those strange rumbling noises but know the very thought of food makes me want to
hurl.

Harry shots me a firm look and there is no mistaking his message. I'm going to eat something
even if he has to force feed me. I don't really see the point in arguing. I know I won't
win.

Lunch was a new experience. As I suspected it was full of awkward silences and Aunt Cecily was
already grating on my nerves. I was so thankful for Harry and Matt at that moment as they tried to
keep the conversation rolling around us. Not that I was paying any attention but I felt like less
of a freak with people behaving normally around me.

As the waitress clears the plates away I finally speak. “I want to go see the house.” Everyone
at the table stops. My aunt looks at me shocked for a couple of seconds.

“Are you -“

I don't let her finish the sentence. “Yes,” I tell her forcibly. I had to do this now or I
would never do it.

Aunt Cecily looks slightly taken back by my certainty but she doesn't say anything more as
she pays for lunch. The two girls chatter as we get into the car, I don't think they realise
what is happening. I silently watch the city pass through the window of the car. The numb feeling
spreading throughout my body.

We finally reach the house I have called home for the past seventeen years. It looms in front of
me. I stand on the front lawn just staring up at it. I can feel Harry standing directly behind me.
So close I can feel the heat coming off his body. I reach back and grab his hand before walking
confidently up to the front door. Reaching in my pocket I pull out my key and unlock the door.

I move around the lower floor taking Harry with me. Hoping to find some clue about my parents
last moments. I find nothing out of the ordinary. The paper folded carefully on my dad's chair.
Dishes left drying net to the sink from that mornings breakfast.

I take Harry upstairs. I gently push the door to my parents' bedroom open. I hear the latch
click, Harry must have closed the door behind me. The room is exactly as I remember it. Memories
come flooding back. Me running in here after a nightmare. Sitting on the bed talking to mum or dad
whenever they had the flu, telling them about my day. I walk over to the dresser, my mum's
jewellery and make-up set out on the top. I run my hand over my mum's most prized jewellery
box. It was where she kept everything dad had given her.

Silent tears pour down my face as I pick up the box and take it over to the bed. Sitting down I
open the box. Everything was in its place just as I remembered it. I gently remove the emerald
necklace, it was mum's favourite. Dad had given it to her while they were still at
university.

I feel the bed sag as Harry sits down beside me. I don't look up instead my eyes trained on
the pendant as it twirls in the air. Harry slips his arm around my waist and I lean into him my
tears coming faster by the second. I drop the pendant back into the box and place it to the
side.

“I miss them, Harry.” Harry's grip on me becomes tighter. I bury my face on his shoulder and
everything seems to flow out. Wracking sobs as I cluck onto Harry. We sit there Harry rocking me
gently. My tears finally subside a bit.

“Thanks,” I whisper as I pull back. I then realise that somewhere along the line Harry pulled me
into his lap. Our eyes lock and for a second I forget everything that has happened. That's all
I want; to forget.

I lean down brushing his lips with my own. At first gentle and within seconds demanding. I want
to forget. I want to forget. I want to forget.

We pull back. Harry gives me a questioning look. I don't give him time to speak before
I'm kissing him again. My hands reaching up to unbutton his shirt. I get two buttons undone
before there is a knock on the door and Matt slips through. He coughs loudly and we pull apart
quickly.

“We'll be down in a minute,” I tell him, my voice sounding strange. My eyes don't move
from Harry's. I hear Matt leave the room; Harry and I sit there for another couple of seconds.
I'm the first to move. I put the box away not trusting myself to look at Harry. I leave the
room hearing Harry follow me.

We arrive at my aunt's place and she immediately starts on dinner. I sneak out to the back
porch and watch as the sun makes it way down, giving off orange, pinks and reds. I pull my knees up
to my chest and just sit the numbness bruising my reality again.

“Dinner's ready,” I hear my aunt's voice behind me. I nod slightly.

“The funeral's tomorrow,” I tell her. I know she knows this but I have to say it out loud.
Aunt Cecily comes up and sits down beside me.

“I know you probably don't want to hear this but we have to go see the solicitor
afterwards.” I nod, part of me wondering when that would happen; the reading of the wills. “I have
no idea what you're feeling at the moment but I just want you to know, and this sounds
redundant, but we're there for you.”

I don't say anything so Aunt Cecily gets up to move as she reaches the door I speak, not
looking at her. “You miss her don't you?” I don't let her reply. “You miss her so much and
you've managed to keep everything together while I'm struggling to put one foot in front of
the other.”

“Hermione, dear…” I don't let her finish.

“I don't know what to do.” I stare out to the horizon for a second. “I just want them back
so bad,” my voice is barely a whisper.

“We all do, sweetie,” Aunt Cecily answers. We're both still for a few seconds before I stand
up to head back in.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I walk into the church my hand firmly gripping Harry's. As I make my way to my place in the
front pew I'm stopped by various relatives giving their condolences. Finally I'm allowed to
slide onto the hard polished wood. I play with the string of pearls around my neck, a gift from my
parents when I was named Head Girl.

The minister comes to the altar, his deep voice strangely soothing as he starts the sermon. I
don't hear a word he says my eyes fixed on the two mahogany coffins sitting at in front of the
altar. On the lid of each sat a bunch of white lilies.

I'm dimly aware of being pulled to my feet by Harry for the first hymn. The music washes
over me and my hand tightens even more on Harry's. If I squeeze any tighter I think bones may
end up broken.

We sit again and my dad's brother takes his position behind the lectin for my dad's
eulogy. I always thought the only thing heartbreaking than watching a grown man cry was watching a
grown man try not to cry. Before the first word leaves my uncle's mouth I'm in tears again.
His words wash over a silent church and my tears begin to run faster and he tells stories from
their childhood.

When he finishes we stand again for `Abide With Me', my dad's favourite hymn. The last
cord echo's through the church and my mum's other sister Anna takes the floor crying
openly. Words wash over me and familiar stories get told. Including mum's wedding jitters
story.

The rest of the service continues around me and I feel as though someone has put me in a trance.
I sit their staring at the two elegant boxes which I knew contained my parent's dead bodies. My
thoughts unexpectedly morbid.

I feel everyone around me standing once again and the male members of our family move to
shoulder each of the coffins. The soft strains of Amazing Grace float through the church they make
their way down the aisle. I take my place directly behind the pallbearers taking Harry with me. I
can't do this on my own.

The funeral procession finally arrives at the cemetery and after my aunt parks we make our way
up to the graveside. I take my place up near the front and take the black umbrella offered to me,
the sky looking like it was ready to open at any second. I can't resist and have a look around
at everyone at the funeral. It looks like a scene out of a movie. Everyone dressed in black, the
females clinging to a male while trying not to hold everything together only to have that shattered
by the redness of their eyes.

My attention is snapped back when the minister begins his speech, his voice comforting.

“Humanity needs to have hope in something beyond our time and place. We must have hope. Hope is
that which allows us to carry on with dignity. In this setting today, we need hope. In the midst of
grief, we need a vision that goes beyond the moment.”

Silent tears start to slip down my face again as the minister begins to go through the usual
prayers, readings and hymns.

The next thing I know he begins the benediction and the coffins are being lowered into the
ground as his voice cuts through the silence.

“The Lord bless you and keep you;

The Lord make His face shine upon you,

And be gracious to you;

The Lord lift up His countenance Upon you

And give you peace.” Num. 6:24-26)

Silence runs threw the house and with a gentle thud we know the coffins have touched the ground.
I look down at my hand in Harry's for a second, my knuckles white from my tight grip. Without a
word I let go and stepping forward I throw a single white rose down after each of the coffins.

I turn back to Harry. “Let's go,” I whisper. I need to get out of here. Harry nods and I let
him slip an arm around my waist as we move away from the rest of my relatives paying their
respects.

I still feel numb, like there is a big hole in my life but at least now I've had the chance
to say goodbye. Even if I wasn't ready.



7. Neville Longbottom
---------------------



**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment.*

*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*

**Neville's POV**

The common room was silent. Well silent except for the constant pacing of Ron Weasley. I swear
if he doesn't stop soon I will not be responsible for my actions. He'd been the same for
the last couple of days back and forth constantly, occasionally stopping to mutter something to
himself. I never thought I'd say this but he's worse than Harry.

Across the room Ginny sighs rather loudly, throws down her quill and goes to stop Ron. The
relief in the common room is tangible. Sure he's worried about Hermione but this is just plain
ridiculous. Ever since Harry and Hermione had left on Sunday Ron had been entirely impossible. It
was safe to say by now he had driven every person in Gryffindor insane.

“Ron, sit down,” Ginny almost yells at him. Ron looks at her for a second before realising how
absolutely furious she was so he sits down. No one would want to be on the other side of
Ginny's wrath so it was probably a good move. Claming somewhat with his compliance Ginny takes
a seat on the couch net to him.

“She'll be okay,” Ginny tells him with some finality. Ron shoots her a dirty and sceptical
look. “Ron do you seriously think Harry would let Hermione do anything stupid?” Ron continues to
stare at Ginny and I can tell he feels a bit stupid. “Oh, Ron,” Ginny whispers before leaning over
and hugging him like only a sister can.

As they pull back the portrait hole bursts open and Lavender toppled through. “You'll never
guess who I found,” she exclaims. She doesn't get to say anymore as Harry and Hermione appear
behind her.

Ron's expression can't be described as anything but relief. Immediately he stands, walks
over to Hermione and wraps her in a bear hug. She hugs him back - barely. If I hadn't been
watching closely I would have missed the hurt look cross Ron's face and Harry's slight
shake of the head at Ron's questioning look.

As they stand around, awkwardly going through pleasantries not exactly sure what to say to each
other I take note of their clothing. Harry and Hermione both clad in black it's obvious that
they came straight from the funeral.

Harry was wearing simple black Muggle suit with white shirt and black tie which hung lose around
his neck. The accompanying jacket was missing and now sat across Hermione shoulders.

Hermione was dressed just as simply in a figure hugging black dress which barely reached her
knees. On her feet were a pair of Mary Jane's and her legs were accentuated in black stockings.
A simple string of pearls adorned her neck. From the corners of her own jacket you could tell that
her dress was spaghetti strap with a straight neckline. Hermione's eyes were red from crying
and the addition of Harry's jacket only served to make her appear even more diminutive.

From my perusal of Hermione I begin to wonder if I may be a little bit obsessed with her. The
truth is though just who isn't a little bit obsessed with Hermione. Hermione is the constant
mystery to every male at Hogwarts. At first glance a bookish, know-it-all, bossy girl but scratch
the surface and you find something utterly surprising. Under all the airs she puts on Hermione is
fiercely loyal, extremely caring and has a fiery temper to boot. A fact Draco Malfoy found out
first hand back in third year when he was on the receiving end of a rather vicious slap. Hermione
had the added benefit of being undoubtedly one of, if not the most powerful witch in the school.
With a wand in her hand Hermione manages to reduce a number of fully fledged wizards to quivering
masses.

There is also the nagging question in the back of everyone's head just what keeps the most
famous wizard in the world so painstakingly loyal and fiercely protective of her. Harry and
Hermione at times seemed to be the same entity.

Those left in the common room tried to discreetly watch as Harry and Hermione took a seat on
their favourite couch. Hermione's shoes gently thudded on the floor as she kicked them off. She
gently curled her feet up under her and began to stare into the fire. Within moments she was lost
within its depths, her eyes taking on a glazed form and the flames flicked creating interesting
shadows which danced across her face.

My view was spoilt when Harry gently reached over and brushed a strand of hair away from her
face, tucking it behind her ear. Hermione didn't even blink. The simple action telling so much
of their relationship.

Harry sat beside her and Ron immediately opened his mouth, itching to ask a question. Harry
waved his hand telling them they would talk later.

As I watch them I'm reminded of our sixth year when Hermione dragged in an absolutely
soaking and bruised Harry in from Merlin knows where, Ron had immediately rushed to their side.
Together they fussed about Harry getting him out of his wet cloak trying to get him warm. Never
once did they ask what had happened, just accepted he would tell them in his own time. When they
had finished they just sat together, much like they were doing now, comforting each other with
their presence as they all stared into the depths of the fire. The word around Hogwarts was that
they were still sitting there when the last person had left the common room that night.

Sighing I turn back to my homework leaving the Trio to some privacy and me to sweat over my
Potions essay I needed to complete for Professor Snape.

As the clock struck a gentle one Hermione suddenly pulled herself to her feet and moved to go up
to her dorm. As she passed him Harry gently reached out and gave Hermione's hand a squeeze.
Hermione turned to look at Harry and something indecipherable passed between the two.

As soon as she disappears around the corner on her way to the girls' dorms Ron immediately
turned to Harry and blurted, “Is she okay?” Harry smiled forcibly but didn't answer; unaware
that everyone left in the common room was hanging out for an answer. A hurt look crossed Ron's
face which was quickly replaced by one that was completely forlorn. He and Harry shared the look of
helplessness before sighing and going back to staring in the fire.

I could almost see their brains ticking over ways to help. They stayed that way before the
portrait hole burst open once more. Every pair of eyes flicked towards the unexpected intrusion.
There was immediate confusion in the common room.

“Oh Merlin,” Lavender Brown shrieked, running to Ron clutching desperately to his arm. “Sirius
Black!” There was a flurry of movement as the males tried to be brave and grabbed for their wands
and the girls shrieked and backed away from him. Only Harry, Ron and Ginny remained unmoved. What
was even more shocking was no more than two seconds later Professor Dumbledore waltzed through the
portrait hole, without a care in the world.

“Hey Sirius. What's up?” Ron asked almost casually. I turned to Ron shocked at his tone

Black smiled and turned his full attention to Harry. A look passed between Sirius and Harry.

Harry's tone was light, not betraying his real emotions. “It's what I thought isn't
it?”

*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*

**Authors Note:** *I thought I'd give the cliff-hanger a try. What do you
think?*

*Thanks to all who have reviewed.* *This chapter is a turning point for the fic which I
think mostly is because I had to deal with a death in my own family whilst writing it… I wanted to
get away from it.*

*On other sites I have posted this people have commented that I left the funeral too soon for
this chapter. I don't think so. If you have ever had a close family member die a lot happens in
a very short space of time, all of which are very boring and none which you remember well. The
wake, the reading of the will and a very quick transition back to daily life. It's all a bit
surreal but also makes for very boring reading. I wanted to keep the realism about this.*

*Some reviews have made me realise that people whose parents have actually passed are reading
this fic. I'd like to state that I still have both my parents this is just what I imagine it
would be like. If I offend that group of people in anyway I'm deeply sorry. If I get flippant
about the idea anywhere I don't mean too I just can't imagine how I would deal with
something that huge.*



8. Sirius Black
---------------



**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R.*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment.*

**Authors Note:** *Thanks to all who have reviewed. This chapter the fic starts to earn its
R rating… don't take that to mean things get interesting, it just means I stopped trying not to
swear.*

*Thanks again for the reviews - I reached the 100 mark. Yay!*

*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*

**Sirius' POV**

I stare up at the portrait hole as memories of my school years flash before me. The Fat Lady
brings me out of my trance as she asks in her pompous voice, “Password?” I give the short password
Dumbledore had previously given me and take a deep breath as she swings open allowing me
access.

I climb through. There is a flurry of shrieks and wand grabbing and I can't help but be
amused. Harry, Ron and Ginny turn to me with nothing but surprise registering on their faces. As
Dumbledore climbs in behind me Ron recovers first.

“Hey, Sirius. What's up?” I smile gently at Ron as shocked faces turn directly towards him.
Ignoring them I turn to Harry. He stares back and me and I know my presence has confirmed his
deepest fear.

“It's what I thought isn't it?” Harry asks surprisingly calm, too calm in fact.

My mind casts back to last summer and a chat I had with a rather concerned and erratic godson.
His main and pretty much only fear - Hermione's safety. After listening to him rant for about
half an hour about how Hermione was a target because of her proximity to him and her power I came
to the only logical conclusion. Harry was very much in love with Hermione. The stupid prat just
hadn't admitted it to himself yet.

Not having the heart to voice the truth I simply nod my head slightly in the affirmative. Harry
visibly deflates. He stares at me for a second before turning and ramming his fist into the nearest
wall, taking out his frustration.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Dumbledore smile. “I don't think breaking your hand will
help Harry. But if you do by all means…” Dumbledore gestured for him to continue. Harry immediately
gave his hand a sheepish look and desisted.

Silence settled over the common room as people looked around knowing they shouldn't stay but
feeling uncomfortable to leave. Ron seemed to be confused while Ginny just looked at Harry
disbelievingly.

“You mean Hermione's parents,” she paused her eyes wide with fear and unable to get the
words out.

“Voldemort,” Harry finished. A feel people around me flinch at the name before a gentle murmur
of shock fills the common room. I look towards Dumbledore uncertain this probably wasn't the
place to be doing this.

“Fuck,” Harry swears and kicks the nearest chair. At that moment I realise just how worried and
upset he is.

“You didn't tell me.” The common room turns to the voice as one and an absolutely stunned
silence fills the air. My heart breaks when I see Hermione. Standing at the top of the stairs,
dressed in her pyjamas and painstakingly apparent that she has heard every word.

“You didn't tell me,” she states again looking directly at Harry. I too turn my attention to
him and you can almost see the air quiver with the tension between them.

“I didn't know,” Harry tells her.

I can see she doesn't quite believe him but nevertheless nods her head slowly, processing
the information. “I'll go get my wand.” There is conviction in her voice I never thought she
could posses.

Silence again. “No!” Harry yells and the worry in his voice is tangible. Ginny and Lavender both
flinch and it becomes apparent that Harry has just shattered one of the constants in their life. No
matter what Harry never yells at Hermione.

Harry quickly bounds up the stairs, taking to at time. Reaching the top he grabs Hermione's
arm to stop her.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” she asks pulling away from him.

“Stopping you from doing something incredibly stupid.”

“Stupid?” Hermione hissed. “And you're Mr Logical twenty-four seven. Voldemort killed my
parents.”

Harry blocked Hermione as she once again tried to reach her dorm, their noses less than an inch
apart. “What do you think he did to mine? Cursed them with puppies and Christmas?” The absurdity of
the comment sticks out and in any other situation I would have found it funny.

I watch in amazement as Harry and Hermione stare at each other trying to gain the better ground.
In one swift move and catching Harry completely off guard Hermione reaches around him digs her hand
at the back of his waist band and produces his wand from his discrete hiding place. Before Harry
can even make a move to retrieve it Hermione casts her charm.

“Accio wand,” she pronounces and her wand comes soaring towards her. Plucking her wand out of
the air Hermione races down the stairs and heads for the portrait hole. As she reaches it the hole
sticks fast. Frustrated Hermione throws her weight on the door and that not working begins to pound
on it with her fists.

“Let me out you stupid bitch,” Hermione screams. God I love the Fat Lady at times. Harry's
flight down the stairs was not as fast as anyone had expected. When he reaches Hermione he just
stands there watching her as she pounds on the door, tears streaming down her face. Gently he
reaches out and grabs Hermione's wrist preventing her from continuing to thump the wall. On his
touch she gently leans back into Harry and his arms come gently around her waist offering her
comfort. I'm astounded at just how well they seem to know exactly what Hermione needs without
even looking at her face.

Silent tears trail down Hermione's face as she stares blankly at the wall her head leaning
back onto Harry for support. Harry gently kisses the top of her head and I avert my eyes feeling as
though I'm watching something incredibly private.

A respectful silence fills the room and everyone gets lost in their own thoughts. I take the
opportunity to look at Dumbledore and he nods slightly at me affirming my thoughts. With all
that's happening I can't believe we are still going to go through with this.

Our silence is broken when the portrait hole swings open again. Harry and Hermione jump apart
suddenly remembering they were in a room full of people. Hermione wipes her tears with her sleeve
and that's when I notice one hand is still firmly gripping Harry's.

Through the portrait hole comes tripping one of the most unlikely groups I think I'll ever
see; Professor McGonagall, Hagrid, Draco Malfoy, Snape and Dobby the house elf.

“Ah, we're all here,” Dumbledore states, his eyes twinkling, which I find entirely
inappropriate for the situation at hand.

“Are you sure this is wise, Professor,” Snape immediately asks in a tone which makes me wonder
if I even need a reason to hate this guy. With a distinct look of distaste Snape sweeps his gaze
over the few left in the common room who are not of our usual group.

“I assure you Severus that every person in the common room will be needed at some stage in our
current situation,” Dumbledore tells him with a firm look.

“Even Mr Longbottom?” Snape asks with a look on contempt at a rather plump boy sitting at one of
the tables, quill still poised over a piece of parchment. Longbottom, I knew I recognised that face
somewhere.

“Hey!” Ginny announced looking like she wanted to say something more but Ron's hand was
firmly planted on her mouth. It appeared no on else thought his question dignified a retort.

Ignoring them Harry and Hermione made their way to the couch near the fire and curled up next to
each other both looking like they just wanted to get down to business and then sleep for a week.
Obliging their wish Dumbledore took a seat opposite them and gestured for everyone else to gather
around.

Expectant faces turned towards Dumbledore as everyone waited for him to start. “Voldemort is
planning an attack on Hogwarts.” A smattering of gasps came from the few Gryffindor's who were
not members on our inner circle. I don't think Dumbledore could have been more blunt if he
tried but he had the desired effect.

I watch as people around me take in what Dumbledore was not saying. Voldemort was attacking
Hogwarts, Harry was his primary target Hogwarts was just the bonus prize.

“Misdirection,” Hermione mutters and a few people look at her strangely so she explains.
“Harry's looking one way and Voldemort attacks the other.” Hermione pauses for a second. “But
it doesn't make sense. It's so predictable, its…” Hermione trailed off and it was only then
I realise that she is thinking out loud. “My parents, they were just pawns. God!”

Hermione stands and runs her hands through her hair, her mind getting a grip on reality.
Harry's eyes follow her as she begins to pace and his expression can be described as nothing
but helpless.

“Miss Granger,” Dumbledore asks in a patient voice. “What I'm going to ask you all to do is
going to be most difficult for you.” Dumbledore paused checking she understood and Hermione nodded.
“Just for the duration of this conversation I'm going to ask you all to put all you emotions on
hold; fear, grief; everything. If we don't we may well get nothing done.”

Silence filled the common room and faces blanched but all nodded, determined to do what they
could.



9. Draco Malfoy
---------------



**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R.*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment.*

**Authors Note:** *Thanks to all who have reviewed. You really help with the writing
process. A huge thanks to Jamie for the allowing me to bounce ideas. Well read, review and as
always enjoy.*

*Just a couple of things because no one seems to remember what I put in the Authors
Notes.*

*This is an* **OLD** *fic which I wrote ages ago… before book 5 was out. Anything in
book 5 didn't happen as far as this fic is concerned. The fics not finished… I'm just
halfway through, that why updates are coming so fast. I have writer's block so I'm hoping
by posting it on portkey I'll get over that and be able to finish it.*

*This fic is also up at my site (***http://feedthesoul.hyperboards.com*) and fanfiction.net.
I refuse to put this on Schnoogle because I just don't like Schnoogle. I would much prefer to
have it on a lot of small sites than Schnoogle.*

*With the POV's I'm doing whoever I feel has the most to say at that point in time and
who will progress the plot along nicely. Its just happened that so far its been a different
character each time.*

*I do read reviews I just don't reply to them individually except if the question needs to
be answer or a few people ask it.*

*This chapter was megafun to write so I hope you enjoy.*

*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*

**Draco's POV**

Of all the places I ever thought I would be this is definitely not one of them. Sitting in the
Gryffindor common room with a bunch of simpering idiots. These were the people Dumbledore was
recruiting to save the world? Okay I've got to admit Potter, Granger and the boy Weasel had a
pretty impressive record in the world save-age department but Potter's told me himself half of
it was luck. And Potter and Granger would they just hurry up and shag already.

For some reason I feel slightly jealous as I watch Hermione fold herself into the seat next to
Harry again. From what appears to be habit Harry gently slings an arm around Hermione's
shoulders and Hermione leans into him a little bit more. I shake myself. Since when did I become a
sap?

As I continue to stare at the couple, unable to tear my eyes away, I come to a startling
conclusion. I'm not jealous because Harry's touching Hermione, but I'm jealous of the
fact of their relationship. Now don't get me wrong I would shag Hermione any day if the very
idea didn't involve Potter's fist connecting with my nose at a rather alarming rate. Which
I had seen happen to Finnigan after and idle “I'd do her any day” as she flounced past nose in
her book. I replay that image in my head for a second. Good times.

This is going to sound childish and grade school but I want what they have. I want to be that
secure with someone, know someone that intimately without having to take their clothes off, to
connect on that intellectual level. You can put all that down to my abysmal childhood. For once in
my life I'm around people who don't treat each other like toerags and I'm jealous.

I'm snapped back to reality as Black's voice cuts through the silence that had reined
since Dumbledore's last words each person trying to do as he asked. By all means it was not an
easy task. “Are you sure this is wise?” Black questions in his gruff voice. This must be huge if
Black's questioning Dumbledore.

Dumbledore nods. “It's best they know now and from us rather than hearing elsewhere.”
Dumbledore gestures to Potter, Granger and Weasley, “And knowing these three they mos definitely
will find out.” Black looks a Dumbledore for a second and its obvious that he is trying to find a
way to disagree with him. When none comes to him Black nods and lets Dumbledore continue.

“Voldemort has a history of attacking his victims families before going in for the kill but you
most likely knew this. Countless death eaters join his army fearing for the lives of the ones they
loved. Once in the fold Voldemort manipulates them in a way that often they would be the ones to
deliver the final blows. This done Voldemort felt that he had a servant for life. Most people stay
because they have nothing to go back to.” Across from me I see Granger squirm. By the look on her
face I know she wants to ask something. Dumbledore looks at her before she attempts to speak.

“Why?” I look at her stunned. I thought the girl had more brains than that. “Why are you telling
us this? It's not exactly ground breaking news.”

Dumbledore's gaze sweeps the common room. “I was merely making it clear to those new to us
exactly what they were agreeing too. Anyone who feels the risk is too high by all means leave.
Nothing will be said. This is your choice.” I watch as people around me think over their decision.
To me it's a no brainer. I've got nothing left. A few people stand and leave scared at the
very whisper about what we were asking them to attempt.

When everyone appears to have made their decision I look around the common room and am not
surprised that all that are left are Seventh Years and Red Weasley. Neville Longbottom stands
behind Harry a determined look on his face, Finnigan and Thomas next to him looking rather
uncertain of their choices but there all the same. Off to the side Patil sits in a chair looking
positively sick yet strangely resolute. Brown grips tightly onto Weasley's hand and its obvious
that if he wasn't there she would be either.

I look around at the rest of the faces and I realise that everyone here has been dragged into
this, Voldemort stripping them of almost everything. Dumbledore his strength, McGonagall her right
to teach without fear, Snape his freewill, Black his freedom, Potter his childhood, Granger her
freedom and Red her innocence when he lured her into the Chamber of Secrets. Everyone had lost
something dear to them except for the boy Weasley, he was their by choice, the notion of doing
good. Just like those we had just recruited he had the option to back out at any stage unlike us
who have to do this. Its not a choice its our lifestyle. I understand why Potter and Weasley are
not as tight as they once were.

“Good,” Dumbledore announces non-pulsed by those who have left and getting straight to business.
“Voldemort is tired of waiting around. He wants absolute power over the Wizarding World and
effectively the Muggle World. He's beyond caring at what he has to do to get that. He has
waited too long for it.”

As Dumbledore pauses for a breath Black cuts in. I think he just wants to get this over with.
“There are only two things standing in the way.” I groan inwardly. If we are going to play it like
this we are going to be here all night.

“What's in the way? Where is it?” Finnigan asks. Idiot. It's going to be an even longer
night than I thought. I shoot him a dirty look. Apparently I'm not the only one not in the mood
to spell it out for the dumb arses because Red's look rivals my own.

“Professor Dumbledore and Harry,” she answers in a tired voice.

“But that means…” Thomas interjects.

“That Voldemort is going to attack Hogwarts.” I answer really not in the mood. Most of the room
ignores the gasps at that piece of information. “Look can we get to the stuff we don't already
know?”

“What? Hot date with Moaning Myrtle tonight, Malfoy?” Red snaps. Ouch. Note to self, do not piss
that one off… too much.

“No,” I answer amused by her willingness with the verbal sparring gig. “A guy needs his beauty
sleep too Red.”

She scoffs. “Hasn't worked, has it?” Oh, I like her.

I open my mouth to reply but Dumbledore cuts me off. “Children,” he says amused. “I'm sure
this can wait until later.” The twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes seems to be brighter than ever and
not for the first time I want to smack it out of him. Red smirks at me, happy that she got the last
word.

Dumbledore continues to relay his morbid yet to most of us old news. “We know that as soon as
Voldemort feels he has a large enough army he will attack. What we want is to stem the casualty
ratio.”

“Don't you mean stop?” Finnigan asks alarmed while Thomas looked on shocked. Dumb prats. I
don't think I've met two more naive people in my life.

“You're stupider than you look, you know that Seamus?” Granger asked taking the words out of
my mouth as she jumps to her feet, upset. “You think we are going to get through this without more
people dying? What fairy tale did you grow up in?” Finnigan looks taken back by Granger's not
so sudden outburst.

Its then I realise how underestimated Granger is. People don't see past the bookish, meek
exterior. I think we have all been guilty of that at one stage. Once you know her you know not to
put a foot out of line if you value body parts. With her top marks in every subject no one seems to
put brains with power. It's their loss. Granger's a very useful weapon for the fact she is
dismissed.

“Azkaban?” Potter asks, distracting Granger from ripping Finnigan a new one. Also thankfully
getting back to the point at hand.

McGonagall makes a face and a dark look passes Snape. “Filling up faster than ever, Aurors
catching Death Eaters walking down the street in broad daylight.”

“That doesn't make sense,” Weasley interjects and for once I agree with him.

Granger and Potter share equally dark looks. “Trojan Horse,” Granger whispers staring straight
at Harry.

“What?” I ask and see I'm not the only one in the room confused. It must be a Muggle thing
when I realise that all the Muggle-borns share a look of understanding. Granger and Potter continue
to share equally terrified looks so Brown explains.

“The Trojan Horse it's a Muggle war story. The Greeks, at least I think it was the Greeks,
were at war with this other country but eventually they came to agreement for a cease fire. To show
that they were serious about the agreement the Greeks or whoever made this really massive wooden
horse and had it wheeled into the other city. As soon as they had accepted the horse opened and
from inside came spilling thousands of soldiers who absolutely massacred the others.”

The Weasley's, Longbottom and the house elf give Brown a confused look still not
understanding the significance. “All but concede defeat,” Granger answers in a strangely hollow
voice. “When the enemy is lulled into a false sense of security, attack. When Azkaban's full
the Dementors are going to let all the Death Eaters free. An army ready, willing and able.”

“When?” Patil asks in a small, frightened voice.

“Soon,” Professor Snape answers, quickly closing the topic. Voldemort obviously wasn't
letting Death Eaters in on the plan either.

“Excuse me, Professor Dumbledore, sir,” the house elf asks. I've been wondering why he was
here all this time. He had been so quiet. Dumbledore nods at him to continue. “Whispers below
stairs suggest it's going to be very soon, Professor Dumbledore, sir.” This must be the Dobby
the House Elf Potter told me of in passing. A very useful source of information if you could
understand what the hell he was saying. Thankfully tonight he was being straightforward.

“We will have time?” Longbottom asks looking white as a sheet.

“Yes,” McGonagall answers in her tight voice. “If we work quickly.” That said people began to
lean into the circle eager to start the planning.

“First thing we start training the newbies and expand on everyone else's training,” Harry
starts. The adults around him nod. “Next we need a plan for when he does attack.” Harry looks up at
Dumbledore, knowing he will have this worked out already it was just a matter of verbalising
everything. It was really child's play so far.

With a flourish of his wand an extremely detailed map of Hogwarts appears on the table in front
of us.

“Hey,” Black explains, “James and I never found that one.” Black points to what appears to be a
secret passage with one of his hardened fingers. He stares at the map for awhile as if it's
done him an injustice by pointing out something he knew nothing of.

“Without know a time or exact place of attack our strategy can is rather broad,” McGonagall
starts. “Finnigan, Brown, Longbottom, Patil, Malfoy, Professor Snape, Dobby and myself will all
round up the students to safety through the secret passages once the alarm has been set off. The
others will not be able to keep out of the front line fighting if they tried.” I look at McGonagall
sour. What makes her think I don't want to be there. She has no idea what my father did to
me.

Potter stares at the map, not looking up, his face not betraying anything. “Fine. Except we swap
Ron and Malfoy's positions. I want Malfoy with me.”

Silence in the common room.



10. Harry Potter
----------------



**Title:** *Screaming on the Inside*

**Rating:** *R.*

**Summary:** *Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?*

**Disclaimer:** *The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK
Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment.*

**Authors Note:** *Thanks to all who have reviewed. You are my gods/goddesses. A huge
thanks to TzAmZ for betaing and allowing me to bounce ideas. Well read, review and as always
enjoy.*

*A few people have mentioned that I forgot that Dobby was the Malfoy's houself. I
didn't. I specifically remember in the fourth book when Hermione first finds out that there are
houseelves at Hogwarts someone commenting that the sign of a good houself is that you don't
know they are there. Sure Lucius had seen Dobby but maybe Dobby was such a good houself Draco never
saw him.*

*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*

**Harry's POV**

“Fine. Except we swap Ron and Malfoy's positions. I want Malfoy with me.” The words come
tumbling from my mouth before I realise I'm saying them aloud. I just know its right. I keep my
eyes on the map, unable to look Ron in the eye. Some things hurt so much but they need to be done.
I can just imagine the look on Ron's face right now.

I never want to see it.

I can feel everyone's eyes on the top of my head but I still don't look up. Next to me
Hermione loops her hand through mine letting me know that she knows what I'm doing. The simple
action makes my feel slightly better. Very slightly.

“Malfoy!” Ron explodes. “You want Malfoy?” There is no way I can't look up. I raise my eyes
to Ron's and hate myself.

This is Ron.

The same Ron who has stuck by me through almost everything. His face is a mask of anger but his
eyes betray his hurt.

“Yes,” I tell him by way of finalising the subject. We don't have time for this. I turn my
attention back to the map but Ron's not going to let it go that easily.

“Seven years means nothing to you but Malfoy sweeps in and something happens that you won't
tell anyone about and now he's the hero of your day,” Ron spits bitterly.

Jealousy's a bitch.

“Don't mouth off about something you know nothing about.” The words came out harsher than
expected. Ron comes to his feet in a challenge. I don't bother; he's acting like a
child.

Malfoy however wasn't going to let it go any sooner than Ron. “It's a wonder anyone can
stand you,” he sneered advancing slightly on Ron.

“Because you're such a people person,” Ron snapped back sarcastically.

"You think this about being a hero? Grow up. There are more important things than heroics.
You have no idea.” Draco turned away from Ron.

I know he's thinking of his father. As Draco takes on the nervous air of a nicotine junkie
dying for a cigarette I'm amazed that he has managed to keep that information from the entirety
of Hogwarts.

“What? You going to go running to daddy?” Typical Ron never knowing when to shut his mouth and
this time he had inadvertently hit the incredibly wrong spot. I stand up. This could get incredibly
bad.

“Do not talk to me about my father,” Draco's tone was low and extremely dangerous.

“Shut up about Lucius, okay,” I tell Ron quietly hoping he will understand.

Ron's head whips around to look at me. I meet his glare. I'm so sick of all his shit.
“Hit a sore spot Malfoy?” Ron asks his eyes still on me.

Malfoy looks at Ron coolly, his composure scary. “Why wouldn't it be?” Malfoy laughs coldly.
“You think you're such a big man. Strutting around with Potter. Really you're
clueless.”

“Clueless? I've spent seven years fighting this.”

I can't stand it anymore. Ron thinking he knows everything because of what he's seen.
He's never had to go through it. Tragedy happening all around him but Ron was never in the
thick of it.

“You still don't understand what you're fighting for,” my voice is low and sounds
strangely unlike my own, detached.

“How the fuck can you say that?” he yells all reason going out the window. “Just because
you're Harry `bloody brilliant' Potter.”

“I never asked for this,” I can't believe him. The entire world is about to blow up and
he's jealous. “You think I want to be killed?”

Around me I feel tension rise. Ron's voice wraps around the common room, leaving no corner
unaffected. “Always with the melodrama.”

I stare at him, not understanding. Ron's never been one for brains but he knew Voldemort was
serious to the nth degree.

“Fuck,” Malfoy exclaims next to me. “Do you have a brain? These are your best friends.
Granger's a sodding mess and Potter is about to be in the fight of his life and you're
worried about your jealousy? Screw that.”

Through out the chaos I realise that Hermione has been strangely quiet for some time. As Ron
begins to yell back at Draco I look down at Hermione. Everything about her has changed.
Hermione's staring off into space, tears shining in her eyes. Not making a single movement.
After a few seconds she seems to she seems to feel my eyes on her.

“NO!” Hermione's voice cuts clearly through the noise. The sound of Ron and Draco's
voices fade out of my hearing. I can still see Ron's lips moving but I hear no sounds, except
for Hermione.

“No, no, no, no,” she repeats shaking her head, running her hands through her hair. “I
won't, no.” Hermione looks up at me her eyes wide, tears slowly trickling from them as she
backs away from me. “I won't listen to this.” She pauses again, and continues to look at me;
the look of a scared child. “You're not dead. Don't talk like you are.”

Finally her resolve breaks and her tears come streaming down her face. Silently she turns and
walks up the stairs. Staring after her I come to the decision that I have to follow her. I'd be
stupid not to. As I leave I don't think anyone else noticed us, if they did they didn't say
anything.

I find Hermione in her room. For a second I stand at the doorway just taking her in. Her back
leaning against the headboard of her bed Hermione brings her knees up to her chest. Unchecked tears
stream down her face as she stares at nothing at the foot of the bed. Her body language suggests
she knows I'm there.

I knock gently on the doorframe so as not to startle her. Hermione nods as I approach. I sit
next to her, my back against the headboard. We stay there in silence for awhile. I'm waiting
for her to talk. She will when she is ready.

“I'm scared,” Hermione states simply not looking up. I remain silent. “I don't want to
be scared but I am.” Hermione pauses again. “Strange how one moment, one simple moment you can
comprehend what's been staring you in the face for years.”

I'm lost. Welcome to the inner workings of Hermione Granger.

“I never thought about it really. Then it hits you. Bam! Its there. You want to make it go away
but you can't.”

I still have no idea what she is talking about. Hermione turns to look at me, her brown eyes
searching.

“I can't lose you.”

That sentence, that phrase, it all becomes clear. I lean forward and press my lips to
Hermione's forehead. Lost in our thoughts we stay that way. How had it gotten so far with
neither of us noticing? I suppose it had been in the back of my head for awhile but I had dismissed
the thought thinking it would never happen. It was Hermione.

I pull back from Hermione and just look at her, tears still streaming down her face. Gently I
reach down and wipe them away with my thumb.

“This will change everything,” I whisper and she nods. Leaning forward I brush my lips against
hers.

Slowly and gently the kiss deepens. This is different from the kiss at Hermione's parents
place. Not as urgent, not as lost. I knew exactly what Hermione was trying to do then. I'd want
to forget too. Hermione pulls herself up and places herself in my lap straddling me. I'm only
just grasping coherent thought.

“'Mione,” I groan as she kisses down my jaw line finally ending to flick her tongue against
my ear lobe. Oh God! This is entirely unfair. Burying my hand in her hair I pull her lips back down
to mine my other hand slipping underneath her shirt. Slowly I work the shirt up finally reaching my
other hand down, breaking the kiss and removing the offending article. I don't get time to ask
why she has a bra on under her pyjamas because she is kissing me again.

Hermione's hands reach up and remove my tie completely and she begins to unbutton my shirt.
I pull back suddenly.

“You sure?” I ask.

Hermione smiles back at me. “Never in my life -“ I cut her off with a kiss. That's all I
need to hear.



11. Lavender Brown
------------------



**Authors Note***: Hi guys. Again thanks so much for reviewi**ng. Thanks to the
gorgeous Jamie* *for betaing… you are a lifesaver.*

*I was meant to say this awhile ago but the gorgeous Panda from Gumboot Mafia
(***http://gumbootmafia.hyperboards.com*) made this
gorgeous banner for my fic. You can view the banner here -* **http://www.geocities.com/buggerlea/screamingontheinside2.txt

*I've decided to spoil you all with another story… sorry but there's no sex
details.*

***********************************************************

**Lavender's POV**

I look between Malfoy and Ron as they continue to yell at each other, oblivious to the
disappearance of Harry and Hermione. I silently appeal to the Professors but they seem to be taking
their lead from Dumbledore, who appears to be staring off into space, unaware of the happenings
around him, the twinkle in his eyes as bright as ever.

I turn my attention back to Ron who, by the look on Malfoy's face, could end up with a
broken nose anytime soon.

“You think you've earned this. You've earned nothing.” Malfoy growls at him. Ron opens
his mouth to protest but Malfoy cuts him off. “You've stood there and fought but you've
lost nothing. The world is still a good and decent place to you.”

Ron steps back, shocked by his words. Who would have picked Malfoy to be the insightful one? Ron
stares at Malfoy, his mouth hanging open at a rather unattractive angle. Gently I reach out and
touch his shoulder letting him know I'm there.

I don't know how there I can be though.

In a single night my life couldn't have changed more drastically. I've gone from
worrying about what colour to paint my toenails to worrying how many of my friends will make it
through the school year.

“Ah, lets get back to business,” Dumbledore suddenly announces.

It seems strange to be doing this without Harry but no one else says anything so I keep my mouth
shut.

“Hagrid, I trust the Forbidden Forrest knows what is about to take place?”

As Hagrid nods and begins to explain the willingness of various groups of creatures, most, which
I'd never, heard of, I stare at the map of Hogwarts, slowly tuning out his words.

Something seems off about it. As I continue to stare I lose track of who's talking and
intently focus on the diagram. Suddenly it strikes me, it's blaringly obvious.

“So the crux of this plan is to get all the students out through the secret passage ways?” I
ask.

Everyone turns to look at me with varying degrees of menace. We had covered this a while ago.
Malfoy has the distinct look like he wants to strangle me.

“I've got a better idea,” as I get looks of utter shock I thank Merlin for my brother's
obsession with Muggle television and war movies.

“You're joking, right?” Malfoy asks sounding highly amused.

I shake my head. I don't think shocked faces could become more shocked. I'm the ditz not
the one who should be coming up with battle plans. Dumbledore gestures for me to continue and so I
do, explaining in as much detail as I possibly can.

About halfway through Malfoy catches on and starts making slight suggestions, things that I have
missed due to my inexperience. When I finish I find the boys looking at me, awe written all over
their faces.

“My girlfriend's a genius,” Ron announces, giving me a slight squeeze.

“I think this is going to work,” Sirius Black announces as he studied the school map. I look at
him confused; sure I'm not along in my bewilderment.

“If you don't mind me asking,” I started feeling timid all of the sudden, which was an
extremely rare occurrence for me. “But aren't you the guy who killed all those people after
You-Know-Who…” I trail off unsure how to finish that sentence. “And weren't you trying to kill
Harry in third year.”

Sirius Black looks up at me and allows a light chuckle to escape his lips. It seems a weird
reaction for an escaped criminal. I look at Ron to find that he too is trying to hold back his
laughter. I slap him slightly and he immediately sobers.

He's such a prat at times.

“Sirius was framed by Peter Pettigrew,” Ron says simply as if that explains everything.

It doesn't.

“Wasn't he one of the victims?” Neville asks. I shoot him a thankful look, relieved that
I'm not the only one who's a few pages behind.

“Can I go now?” Draco asks loudly, obviously thinking we were done with the planning for the
night.

“Yes, yes,” Dumbledore answers him with a smile. “You too Dobby, they'll be needing you in
the kitchens.”

As they leave Sirius starts to explain. “Pettigrew was an anigmus. He could turn himself into a
rat. So he performed the curse and then transformed.”

It was all beginning to make sense now. I idly wonder what else Ron has kept from me. I know
he's only doing it to protect the others and to some intent me. Still it would be good if I
didn't have to feel so out of everything all the time.

“Sirius is Harry's godfather,” Ron quickly explains, answering my next question. “He,
Professor Lupin and Harry's dad were all friends at Hogwarts.”

I nod. It made sense.

“So Sirius is not evil,” I assert, earning nods from both Ron and Sirius. This was starting to
be too much. Way to load on the information in one night.

Without the urgency or bustle we previously had my body starts to realise just how tired I am. I
yawn rather widely and I think Dumbledore took that as a cue for everyone to get some rest. He
quickly ushered those who didn't belong in the Gryffindor tower as Professor McGonagall sternly
tells the rest of us to go to bed.

“Tell Harry,” Sirius starts with a cheeky glint in his eye. “Never mind, I'll speak to him
in the morning.” Sirius leaves with a look on his face, which gives me the impression he knows
something we don't. As the portrait hole closes I hear him chuckle lightly to himself.

I'm not impressed.

The remaining Gryffindor's quickly say their goodnights and make their way to their dorms
all in varying states of exhaustion. I hold Ron back wanting to talk to him privately. I sit Ron
down on one of the couches and take a seat on one of the coffee tables across from him. Ron looks
at me curiously and I know I must have a weird look on my face.

“What was that about?” I ask him gently trying to not sound standoffish.

I'm unsure of his actions earlier tonight, we all are. Ron looks up at me and I can tell
what the next words out of his mouth will be. I don't let me.

“You know what I mean,” I tell him with a slight smile. “That wasn't you.”

Ron sighs, knowing he's not going to get out of this easily. “I was just surprised. I've
spent all these years with Harry and now he suddenly dumps me for Malfoy.” I can see Ron's
temper rising, so I reach out and squeeze his hand.

“You've got to understand where Harry's coming from. Malfoy knows who he is dealing with
better than anyone here; he lived with them his entire life.”

“I'm just…” Ron breaks off not finishing his sentence.

“Scared,” I supply for him and Ron lifts his head up in shock.

“This is all new to you. You must…”

I cut Ron off with a wave of my hand. This is not something I really want to talk about now. My
rational side is thinking it was okay for him to hide everything from me. My emotional side, which
unfortunately the side that was winning, remains hurt by Ron's mistrust in me. Ron presses the
issue.

“No. We've told you so much. You must be…” Ron cut himself off unsure how to phrase it.

I just shake my head. “I'm fine.”

“Don't lie,” Ron answers gently and I know my face had betrayed me.

That is it. I can't take anymore. “How much else have you been keeping from me?” I ask in a
voice much more level than I feel. Ron looks at me like I've grown a second head. He can't
believe what I'm saying. I barely can.

“But, Lav, I had too. Sirius…”

I hold up my hand desperately trying to keep my emotions in check. Damn him. Why couldn't he
have just kept quiet?

“I know,” I tell him. “At least a part of me knows that.” I pause, the look on Ron's face
heartbreaking. “I guess I just didn't know how deep in you were. That it was just something you
did to pass the time. A hobby. If it were that I could handle it.” I pause again my emotions
getting the better of me as my eyes begin to well with tears. “But this is huge. More than I ever
imagined.”

My voice cracked. I can tell by the look on Ron's face that he has skipped ahead. Still, it
needs to be said.

“I just can't. Not if you shut me out.”

“Lav,” Ron whispers and leans forward to take my hands. I stand and back away from him, tears
starting to fall.

“No Ron,” I tell him before turning to walk away, finally allowing my tears to flow freely.

********************

The next morning I dress slowly unable to pull myself from my self imposed misery. I still
wonder whether I did the right thing. My head and heart at war with each other, pulling me in
separate directions, trying to tear me in two. Sighing I flip my hair back into a loose ponytail,
too tired to bother with anything else. I make my way alone to the Great Hall not up for
company.

As I enter I'm surprised to see Harry and Hermione sitting at the Gryffindor table already
eating. Neither of them usually early risers, and when they were Hermione usually had her nose
buried in a book and Harry usually only answered in grunts. Now they were sitting next to each
other shovelling food into their mouths as they chatted contentedly. It was a strange yet welcome
sight.

They both look up as I slip into a chair across from them.

“Hey Lavender,” Harry greets and turns back to his food.

Typical male.

Hermione immediately sets down her fork the moment she sets eyes on me.

“You okay?” she asks concern lining her face.

I nod glumly and wave her off not quite willing to talk about it yet.

Okay, that's not quite true. I'm ready, willing, and able and the second Parvati walks
through that door I'm dragging her off to an empty classroom for some serious girl time. I just
don't want to talk about it with Harry and Hermione.

As much as I adore them there was one fundamental flaw in that idea; they were Ron's best
friends. Things like that just don't work.

The conversation at the table dulls to a lull and I'm painfully aware of the dampener my
mood has had on them.

“Look, I'll just go…” I announce, the words coming out a lot harsher than I meant.

I stand but Hermione stops me.

“No, Lav, it's okay, seriously,” Hermione looks up at me with her brown eyes and I can
immediately see why every male is so fascinated with her.

There is just a sparkle about her. Hermione's eyes will tell you exactly what she's
thinking. I see the apology in them but there is an odd twinkle in them. I mentally remind myself
to call her on that when I am feeling a little more human.

I sit as Harry and Hermione exchange a significant glance and I can't help but get the
feeling that something else is going on. There is nothing like a bit of detective work to take
one's mind off ones own personal misery.

Those two are giving off really strange vibes.

“What is up with -“ I start to ask before I'm interrupted.

“Finally,” Ginny announces as she sits in an empty chair next to me throwing a significant look
at Harry and Hermione.

As I study them I want to smack myself for not realising it before.

Across from me Harry nearly chokes on his food while Hermione curses beneath her breath, “Damn.
Thought that would take longer.”

“So when did this happen?” Ginny asks them enthusiastically, squirming in her seat like a young
child.

A smirk forms on Harry's face as he simply raises an eyebrow at Ginny.

“Oh my God,” Ginny squeals and a few people turn to look at her. Ginny continues to look at the
new couple absolutely enthralled.

I can't seem to find myself getting as enthusiastic as I would be. I've been waiting for
this to happen since fifth year. My misery blocking out what happiness I would feel.

“Hey Dean,” I hear Ginny yell down the table. “Who had today?”

I don't wait for the answer just study Harry and Hermione's reactions. As I predicted
they are classic.

“What?!” Hermione screeches setting down her fork while Harry's smirk begins to widen.

“If you're quite done,” Draco announces suddenly appearing behind the pair. “I need to talk
to you both.”

Nonchalantly Draco reaches over and takes some toast from the table. You would swear the
Slytherin table didn't give them decent food.

“Hang on,” Ginny answers and turns to interrogate Hermione some more. “So what was it like? Did
you -“

Ginny is cut off by three loud groans and I can't say I blame them. I would be
mortified.

“You do realise I'm right here?” Harry asked a bit bewildered. Ginny just looks at him and
shrugs. That girl has no tact. Out of the corner of my eye I see Hermione mouth to Ginny
`Later'.

I smile. That was one conversation I definitely wanted to be present for.

“Red this is important.” Draco tells Ginny flatly. “You can talk about their sex lives later.”
Draco smirks widely before turning and sweeping out of the Great Hall.

There was no other way to describe it, he actually swept. Sighing Harry and Hermione pushed
their food away from them and followed him out, hands firmly interlaced.

I turn back to my food and back to my own misery. Trying to find comfort as I push the food
around my plate. I am left alone to my thoughts for the time being. Exactly what I needed at the
moment.



12. Ronald Weasley
------------------



**Authors Note:** *Can I just say - WOW! I've been overwhelmed by the reviews… I know
I've been a bit complacent about them, just fobbing them off with a heart felt thanks, which
seemed a bit redundant but really they do mean a lot to me. So much, in fact, that I'm finally
over my writer's block. Yup that's right. I wrote half a chapter today which I like and
gives me room to do what I want with the fic. So kudos to you review**er**s. I love
you.*

*This chapter - bring on the angst. From previous chapters you might think I don't like
Ron… but I really do. To prove it I've given him an entire chapter to be angsty (you know I
like a character when I let them angst) and insightful. Ron is just rather thick and self-centered,
its not a bad thing, its just his character and what makes him more real, at times that I had to
write him that way.*

*Read and as always enjoy.*

**Ron's POV**

Groaning I roll out of bed unwillingly. There should be a law about mornings, especially
mornings after the worst nights of your life.

I groan again as my mind replays snippets from the night before. I don't think I've ever
had so much happen to me in such a short amount of time; Harry dumping on me, Draco on my back.

And then Lavender.

Lavender, now that was unexpected. I could logically see Harry's reasons and Draco was just
an arsehole, but Lavender I always thought she would understand. She claimed part of her knew.

Girls, I just don't get them.

Growling I pull myself out of bed and throw my uniform on. How could Lavender expect me to tell
her everything? Blabbing things like that around would wind up getting someone killed.

Contrary to popular belief I am not that dumb.

Harry, he was treating me like a slow five-year-old, living with my head in the sand for the
past seven years. I knew what was happening, what was most likely to go down. Harry thought it was
something I couldn't handle. Maybe I couldn't. At least he could have given me the
opportunity to find out.

Before I know it my feet have found their way to the dining room. Immediately I'm bowled
over by the activity and excitement spreading across the room, a stark contrast to my current
mood.

I take a seat in the midst of Dean, Seamus and Neville hoping to fade into the background,
careful not to look at Lavender. My sister, however, had other ideas.

"Ron, couldn't you just die?" she asks. I'm confused. She looks at me with a
beaming face and I get the feeling she thinks I should be happy too. About what I have no idea.

"Be a whole lot better than I'm feeling now," I mumble but she doesn't hear
me.

"They didn't tell you?" Ginny presses, my face must have been a mask of confusion.
I shrug not being able to bring myself to care all that much. I always thought of apathy as
misery's friend.

"Harry and Hermione," Ginny states, not helping the confusion. She was starting to
piss me off on a grand scale.

"My two best friends. What of it?"

Ginny looks really uncomfortable now. She starts to chew on her bottom lip and I know she is
nervous. "I'm sure they were going to tell you first." She pauses to chew on her lip
again. "They kinda got together."

Silence. I stare at her for a second in shock.

"Okay, wait, back-up. In the three hours since I've seen them last Harry and Hermione
have found the time to…" I leave that sentence open, unsure how to finish it. To be quite
honest, my two best friends getting busy was not information I really wanted to hear about right
now.

"Bionk each others brains out?" Dean supplies, trying to be helpful.

"Yeah that," Ginny answers, screwing her nose up at the phrasing.

The chatter around the table immediately picks up as everyone wants to get in on a piece of the
gossip. Hogwarts' Golden Couple had finally hooked up. It was big news.

I push my plate away from me suddenly not hungry.

"Ron?" Gin questions and that's my breaking point. The air around me seems so
stifling. The chatter around me, a few hundred decibels too loud, the smell of the food getting
strangely nauseating. I have to get out of there. I rise from my seat with a shocking suddenness
and stride out of the Great Hall at a half run, half walk.

I need to be alone. Not until I feel the cool breeze blow across my cheeks do I allow myself to
breath. Everything familiar is crashing down around me.

Before long I find myself at the shores of the lake. I sit, staring out into its gray depths.
The effect is surprisingly calming, the size of the lake making me feel insignificant by
comparison.

As my anger subsides the hurt comes rolling in, waves rushing over me. I was never really angry,
just hurt. Hurt seems to disguise itself as anger quite frequently.

Lavender dumped me.

This wasn't just one of our petty fights we were always having. This was huge. In some
recess of my mind our relationship had escalated from a bit of fun. I guess I kind of loved her.
She was always there for me in a way. There when Harry and Hermione were too busy being the Duo to
include me.

I feel sick.

It occurs to me that they were probably off fucking just as Lavender was telling me she
couldn't.

I take a deep breath trying to calm my emotions. That doesn't really work.

I hear two steps of footsteps behind me. I don't need to turn to know whom they belong to. I
ignore them and continue to stare out to the lake. Can't people see that I want to be
alone?

"Ron?" I hear Hermione's voice question. I don't answer; don't even
indicate that I have heard them. There is a silence and I know they are having one of their
freaking silent conversations.

"Ron," Hermione starts again, "you can ignore us all you want but you should know
that we were going to tell you first. Gin-"

"Lavender dumped me," I cut in deadpan.

I can't keep listening to their apologies. It's who they are. What they have is beyond
anyone's control; least of all theirs.

The guilt radiates off them. Too wrapped up in their own world to take notice what is going down
with their best friend. I would say typical but I know that's not true.

Harry and Hermione's own world usually consisted of trying to figure out how to thwart the
latest evil or worrying about what was going to happen the next time around. Personal time was
rarely an option. When they got the time it was often cut short by things happening around them.
The world was more important their own happiness. The only certainty in their lives was that Harry
was going to be in the thick of whatever was going to happen.

"Oh Ron," Hermione whispers before coming around to give me a hug. For a few moments I
take comfort in her closeness, knowing she is there for me.

I look up to see Harry calmly watching us. If that were me I'd be beside myself with
jealously, especially knowing how he feels about her. He's been with her for less than
twenty-four hours and already she is throwing herself at another guy. Okay not exactly throwing
herself but the closeness would make me uncomfortable.

But Harry's not the jealous kind of person. Not like I am. He's also got the security of
knowing that Hermione loves him. There was no other male she would be turning to for comfort. Harry
had always been that male.

"It'll be okay," Hermione tells me before she pull back. I bite my tongue so I
don't retort. How would she know? She's never had her heart broken. Even if she was under
the impression that she had, Harry had always been there to pick up the pieces.

"Do you want to talk?" Hermione asks gently, her hand still gripping mine. I shake my
head. I can't. Not right now. She nods, understanding.

We stay that way for a few seconds, all wallowing in my pity.

Harry gently places a hand on Hermione's shoulder to get her attention. Surprised she looks
up at him as he points across the grounds. We both follow his line of sight to find Ginny
desperately trying to get Hermione's attention.

"I think someone wants to talk to you," Harry chuckles lightly. Hermione nods, a
slight blush creeping to her cheeks. Knowing my sister we all knew what she wanted to talk was
definitely not the weather.

Hermione nods as she stands. "I suppose I better go. I'll talk to you both later."
As she passes Harry the brush hands each giving the other a light squeeze. It was little things
like that, which let me know that no matter what it was always going to be those two. It ran in
their veins, they just couldn't help it.

After watching Hermione for a couple of seconds Harry sighs and takes a seat next to me. We sit
in a comfortable silence, staring out to the water.

"Sucks, don't it," Harry suddenly states.

"Like you have anything to worry about," I can't help but sound bitter.

Harry laughs hollowly.

My head flicks up and I look at him questioningly. "This is Hermione."

Harry shakes his head giving me a weird look. He doesn't look like he is about to give me
any insight into what he is feeling at the moment.

"Hogwarts' golden couple," I remind him.

"Funny that," is his only comment. I don't bother pressing him any more; he'll
let me know in time. Nevertheless his mindset was starting to scare me.

"You do realize, if you hurt her I will kill you," I tell him. Hermione was my like my
little sister. It had to be said.

Harry smiles, "A bit weird to be on the receiving end of that." He's silent for a
second. "I'd die before I let anything hurt her," he whispers not taking his eyes off
the lake.

We sit in silence again and my thoughts turn back to Lavender. Misery washes over me. I'd
love to kick and scream and curse the world but I just don't have the energy.

Windmills of emotion circle through my mind as I stare out to the lake, unblinking. I'd give
anything to dull the rawness of the hurt. I can hear Hermione tell me it will get better with
time.

Time. I almost chuckle at the thought. We were all rapidly running out of that.



13. Ginny Weasley
-----------------



**Authors Note:** *Well, compared to usual its been awhile since my last update… well, not
really I was just spoiling you all last week. Anyway I was going to post this chapter ages ago but
real life got in the way. I work as a legal secretary and can on occasion work up to 12 hour days…
after that all I want to do is eat then sleep. So, no I haven't fallen off the face of the
earth, I've been busy.*

*Thanks muchly to everyone's marvellous reviews. Makes me all warm and squishy
inside.*

*One final word - reality TV is evil.*

***********************************************

**Ginny's POV**

I rush outside onto the grounds desperate to find Hermione. She couldn't just leave us with
that miniscule amount of information. I want details. She said later. She may have only disappeared
for an hour but it was still a later.

When I finally catch sight of them I see Hermione in the arms of… my brother. There is something
seriously wrong with that picture. And Harry watching; a picture of calm - what is with that?

A feeling of childishness washes over me and I find myself throwing a mini tantrum on the spot.
That's what you get for being the youngest, immature things are expected of you. As I finish I
see Harry look up at me and I see a smile graces his features, gently he reaches out and gives
Hermione's shoulder a squeeze.

When Hermione looks up, I grin giving her a wave. I see a slight smile of amusement cross her
face before a slight red flush of embarrassment. Good, she knew what I wanted to talk about.

Hermione says a quick goodbye to Ron and turns to do the same with Harry. I feel myself melt as
a look passes between the pair. It's a look I don't entirely understand but from the smiles
on their faces it's definitely of the good. Their hands brush as Hermione leaves and I feel a
rush of girlie excitement. They are just too cute.

“So ready to spill?” I ask the second Hermione is within earshot.

She nods. “Lets go find somewhere warm.”

I grab her hand and drag her towards the castle. I was going to burst if I didn't get the
juicy gossip soon. As soon as we get to a classroom I drag her inside not bothering to check if it
was empty.

“So…” I prompt.

Hermione smiles, her attention focused on something over my shoulder. “Hey guys,” she states
calmly.

Feeling like the idiot I turn to find Lavender and Parvati staring at us. From the way they were
seated it looked as though they were in the middle of a deep and meaningful.

“Sorry,” I tell them, genuinely, “we'll find somewhere else.”

Both girls look at me as if I've been cursed with two heads.

“Are you crazy?” Parvati shrieks.

“I so want to hear this,” Lavender adds.

I glance at Hermione and her face immediately flames red.

“It's not that big of news,” I hear her mumble but she doesn't say anything to the other
two girls. I think she would prefer that she told a few people the truth. Less rumours that
way.

Hermione sets her focus directly on Lavender. “You okay?” she asks.

It seems a strange question to me. Lavender was fine when I saw her last night. She and Ron were
even having a little late night rendezvous. Lavender nods taking a deep breath as if to keep
herself from crying.

“How's Ron?”

Hermione shrugs slightly. “You know Ron.”

All the pieces start to fall into place for me: Ron's mood, Hermione hugging Ron, and this
miniscule conversation. Lavender and Ron must have broken up.

I stare at Lavender in shock for a couple of seconds. There had never been even a hint of their
relationship on the rocks. They always seemed so happy. Sure they fought a lot but it was always
petty. From the way Lavender and Hermione were acting, it seemed as if this was for good.

Quickly I shake myself so Lavender doesn't see my reaction. My face would probably have the
same effect as a kick in the stomach.

“So, you and Harry?” Lavender questions Hermione, rapidly changing the mood of the room.

I don't blame Lavender for not wanting to talk about it. Your ex-boyfriend's best friend
and sister were probably not the best people to be talking these things over with.

A sly smile graces Hermione's face as she takes a seat on a desk. “Yeah, me and Harry.”

I pull myself up a desk and sit facing her. She would have to do better than this. There is a
quick scraping as Lavender and Parvati rush to take a seat.

“So, what did he say?” Parvati immediately asks.

Hermione's eyes take on a glazed look. “Well it wasn't really what he said…”

“Hermione!” I exclaim shocked.

Lavender looks at her disbelievingly. “He must have said something. One thing I know is all the
boys are fighting and the next thing you're flying up the stairs, trying not to cry, Harry hot
on your heals.”

I must have missed that bit.

Hermione looks slightly embarrassed. “I just realised something and it kind of hit me hard.”

Silence punishes the room and it becomes painfully obvious that Hermione simply does not want to
talk about that part of the night.

“Did he tell you he loved you?” I ask, changing the subject but also because I wanted all the
flowery details.

“I bet it was all romantic,” Parvati adds.

To my surprise Hermione shakes her head. “No, he didn't actually.” A slight smiles graces
her features and I'm at a loss as to why it would please someone to not be told what they have
been longing to hear. “I looked at him and I… I just knew.”

That has to be one of the sweetest things I've ever heard in my life. Lavender and Parvati
sigh with content. I can feel a face splitting smile cross my features. Hermione giggles slightly
obviously replaying part of the moment in her mind.

“Skip ahead to the hardcore snogging,” I tell her impatiently. I may be a sucker for sweetness
but the raunchier aspects are just as appealing.

Hermione blushes slightly again. I study her face for a few seconds not sure what to think.
Finally she manages to speak.

“We kinda skipped the snogging,” Hermione turned redder with every syllable.

“Was it good?” My question just pops out. The other girls give me shocked looks. “Oh c'mon.
Like you weren't thinking it.”

Our attention is immediately turned back to Hermione, who has a satisfied grin on her face. Her
eyes are rapidly glazing over and I realise if we don't do something soon we'll never know.
I cough and Hermione snaps out of it.

“Good would be an understatement.”

Lavender, Parvati and myself all exchange grins. What was the use of thinking Harry and Hermione
were the couple of the century if the sex wasn't fantastic? From the look on Hermione's
face fantastic may have been an understatement too.

“There's this thing with his tongue…”

I immediately cut Hermione off. “Herms, love ya and all but Harry's my friend too and I just
don't want detailed images of him in the sack.”

Hermione immediately shuts her mouth looking rather embarrassed. I can't help but giggle.
Parvati and Lavender almost immediately join in and Hermione sends us all a glare.

“Straight from first kiss to shagging,” Parvati almost hoots. “That's what I call
style.”

“What!? Hermione's been kissed before.” Lavender exclaims. She turns to Hermione. “You have,
haven't you?”

We all stop and give Lavender an incredulous look. She knew Hermione had been kissed, she's
seen it with her own eyes and of course there was always that thing with Ron. Obviously
Lavender's brain isn't working properly today.

“She meant first kiss between me and Harry, although it wasn't exactly a first last
night.”

My jaw becomes slack and I stare at Hermione in shock.

“When did this happen and how did I not know about it?” Lavender immediately asks.

I would have used the exact same phrases if I could find my voice. I had been rendered
speechless and that was pretty much a first for me.

Anything Harry and Hermione did was scrutinised by everyone at Hogwarts, so, how something major
like a kiss had managed to creep under the radar was almost unfathomable.

“It was a couple of days ago,” Hermione shrugs as if describing the weather.

“Still doesn't explain how we didn't know about this. You and Harry were acting
completely normal. Look how fast Ginny picked up on it this morning,” Parvati presses, keen to get
to the bottom of this.

“It didn't mean a great deal,” Hermione asserts firmly. Ignoring our sceptical looks, she
continues. “I was upset. Harry was just there.”

A dark look crosses Hermione's face and I realise exactly when the event would have
happened, while they were both away for the funeral.

The events of the past few days seem to come rushing back to Hermione, full force, visibly
taking their toll. Immediately her eyes fill with tears and her face pales, giving me the
impression that she could hurl any second.

I thought Hermione was doing extremely well with coping but understandably the hurt was still
extremely raw. It became clear that the only way she kept going was by pushing everything to the
back of her mind, concentrating on what was happening right before her, even if that meant fixating
on the most minor detail.

Lavender gently gives Hermione a one armed hug. Hermione beats us all to speech, guessing what
would be our next words.

“It hurts to breathe,” her voice cracks but the tears don't come. “More than anything it
hurts to breathe.”

We all sit in a sombre silence unsure of exactly what to do. What do you say to someone who is
grieving the death of both their parents without sounding redundant? Hermione was usually the one
who had the words in a situation like this.

After a few moments of sitting lost in our own thoughts Hermione abruptly stands.

“We're going to be late for class,” she announces.

Together we exit the room and I separate from the others. I watch silently as the other three
girls head off for Transfiguration.

I sigh.

It had been a day of heavy emotions and we hadn't even got to first period yet.



14. Parvati Patil
-----------------



**Author's Note:** *Well this is it… the last chapter before my writers blocked kicked
in. I wrote this so long ago now… feels like forever. You will be please to know, however, that
I'm over the writer's block and have written half of the next chapter… it will take awhile
though… this next week at work looks like hell.* *Thank to all my great reviewers and Jamie
(TzAmZ, Tz) my darlink beta.*

*Reality TV is still evil.*

**Parvati's POV**

I look up as Harry and Hermione slide into seats across from me. They nod hello to me before
turning back to the conversation they had both seemed so wrapped in, leaving me to my thoughts and
my food.

This mornings Transfiguration class had been mostly uneventful. Half of the class had been late
for various reasons leaving Professor McGonagall with a rather sour disposition for the rest of the
class. No punishments were given but no one dared put a foot out of line. McGonagall had drilled us
all relentlessly on questions, which may come up on our NEWTs. I don't think I've ever left
a lesson so exhausted.

I spent most of the lesson curiously watching the interaction of Harry and Hermione. Everyone
had expected them to become a couple for so long and now that they were, I think we were all
curious to see if it was as perfect as we thought it would be. I studied them for the entire lesson
just looking for some sign that they were a couple but it appeared nothing had changed.

I don't know what I expected. They knew each other so well and were so close strangers often
mistook it couple-age. Maybe I expected hands all over each other. Something definite that there
was no question that they were a couple. I needed a sign that they were going to work. If they
couldn't what was the point for the rest of us?

I bitterly stab at a piece of pasta on my plate, still lost in my thoughts.

“I don't think the pasta deserved that,” a voice next to me chuckles. I look up to see Colin
Creevy smirking at me mockingly, Ginny at his side. Ginny gives me a concerned look but doesn't
say anything before they both take a seat.

“What is with everyone?” Colin questions in a cheery voice. It seemed strange to hear given the
current mood of the castle. “It's like someone died or something.”

Everyone around me stops and stares at Colin. I can't believe he just said that. I chance a
glance at Hermione, checking to see if she heard. Unfortunately she did. I see her biting down
desperately on her bottom lip. She's not going to cry, not if she can help it.

I look back to Colin and I see his eyes wide, a mixture of disbelief at himself and fear. I
follow his sight line to see that he was staring at Harry. His jaw was tight and the icy glare that
he was sending Colin was bone chilling.

“Excuse us,” Harry announces stiffly. He stands and Hermione follows, Harry taking her hand
lightly as they do so.

As soon as they are out of earshot I turn my attention back to Colin.

“Colin!” Ginny admonishes. “I can't believe you at times. Do you have two brain cells to rub
together or are you just doing a good impersonation?”

“Hey,” Colin defends himself, although he doesn't really have the right. “I didn't mean
it. I just haven't mastered the art of thinking before I speak.”

“Well master it already!” Ginny snaps back. He's really hit a sore spot with Ginny. I
don't think I've seen her this riled up since Fred and George tried to string her underwear
up on one of the statues… in fact I don't think I've seen Ginny this riled up.

“Oh yeah, and since when were you the mistress of tact?”

“I don't need this. Not from you. If I wanted to be ridiculed I would go see Draco.” Ginny
roughly pushes her chair back before storming out of the Great Hall, slamming the door behind
her.

I stare at the door in shock for a second. “What the hell was that all about?” I ask completely
stunned.

“No idea,” Colin shrugs his face a mask. I get the impression that he knew a lot more than he
was telling. His cold and closed look was a spooky change from his usually cheerful
disposition.

Silence settles again. It had been such a strange day. It had been a strange week in fact. I
would be scared if things had suddenly gone normal again.

In what seems to be a freaky game of revolving chairs Lavender slides into Hermione vacated
chair.

“What are Harry and Hermione doing at the Hufflepuff table?” she asks. I look up shocked. I had
just assumed they had both left the hall. Turning I look over my shoulder to find them both
laughing with Ernie MacMillian and Hannah Abbott.

I shrug lightly turning back to find Lavender scanning the room. She won't admit it but I
know she is looking for Ron. I know she's telling herself that she doesn't love him and it
was for the best of both of them but I can see right through that smoke screen.

She's scared.

Quickly running my eyes over the Great Hall I spot Ron and hope to hell that Lavender
doesn't. He's talking to a group of Ravenclaw girls in our year that I don't know that
well. I don't think anyone in Gryffindor does. I quickly advert my eyes, hoping Lavender
doesn't catch me when I see the girls burst into a fit of giggles at something Ron has
said.

It seems strange for the Trio to be talking to people they don't know very well. They
usually just stuck to their little group only letting a select few in. I think that was mostly
because of the danger they constantly found themselves in and Harry's celebrity status.

A burst of giggles attracts my attention and looking down the table I'm surprised to see
Draco flirting shamelessly with a group of Gryffindor Sixth Year girls he usually never gave the
time of day. It was a little known fact that Draco preferred the challenge and the thrill of the
chase rather than the definite score and these girls were the definition of slut. It was no secret
that their main agenda was to sleep with either Harry or Draco or quite possibly both. They were
under the delusion that an action like that would give them some kind of social status.

“Freaky,” Lavender commented and I looked up to see her watching Draco too.

I turn back to watch them for a second and get a crazy idea that this very scene could have been
the source of irritation for Ginny. I quickly dismiss that thought. Ginny having a thing for Draco
was entirely preposterous. They couldn't be in the same room as the other for five minutes
without arguing.

A light smirk dancing across his features Draco stands, saying a quick goodbye before he leaves.
On cue the girls all dissolve into giggles. Unconsciously my eyes follow Draco as he leaves the
hall; there was something different about him today. Maybe it was the fact that it was lunch and he
was yet to make anyone cry.

I quickly avert my eyes as Draco approaches us. God knows the boy's ego doesn't need any
more massaging. Casual as you please Draco leans over and grabs a piece of bread as he passes.

“Eight o'clock. DADA classroom,” he mutters before calmly continuing on his way.

Lavender turns to me and we exchange a surprised look. Suddenly things were going extremely
fast. The urgency I found surprising considering how relatively relaxed everyone had seemed last
night; like they had an age to talk about it. I thought last night only happened to ensure we
definitely had enough time to prepare. I breathe in deeply as the realisation that whatever was
going to happen was going to happen soon, hits me.

************************************************

It's not long before I suddenly find that it's eight. Abandoning our homework Lavender
and I rush down toward the Defence Against the Darks Arts room, desperately not wanting to be late.
Slowly we open the door to, not sure what to expect on the other side.

The sight that greets us is comforting. From opposite sides of the room Ginny and Draco are
glaring daggers at each other; obviously just finished with their last round. Neville, Dean and
Seamus are milling around in the middle of the room, unsure what to do with themselves. Meanwhile
Harry, Hermione and Ron had been joking around in the front of the room, not even looking up as we
entered.

The sight of the three of them relaxed calms me somewhat. If they were not on edge there was no
reason I should be.

Lav and I both take a seat near the boys, unsure what to do we just settle down, watching
everyone else.

“Please `Mione,” Ron starts to beg, the look on his face completely desperate. “I'll never
ask again.”

Hermione shoots him back a sceptical look but remains unwavered. “That's what you said the
last time… And don't call me `Mione.” Trying to steer the conversation away from homework, or
rather Ron's lack thereof, Hermione turns to Harry. “You sure he said eight?”

Unfortunately Ron doesn't give up that easily. “But Harry does.” Ron protests only to be on
the receiving end of two glares; Harry's more amused than angry. Sighing Ron changes tact.
“Usually I would ask Harry, but…”

Harry's light grin immediately fades and his glare at Ron becomes slightly more serious.
Hermione immediately turns her attentions to Harry.

“Let me guess, you haven't done it either.”

From his seat on the Professor's desk Harry uses his feet to pull Hermione closer to him. A
lazy grin slides onto his features making me wonder how Hermione can stand in such close proximity
to him without publicly jumping his bones. His reply is nonchalant.

“It's not like the intention wasn't there. I did plan to do it last night but…” An
eyebrow quirk up and its obvious that Harry thinks he can talk his way out of this one, his grin
quickly growing into a smirk.

“Like hell,” Hermione scoffs. I'm amazed that she can be so composed after that. If it were
me, I would be a stuttering mess by now. The slight pink tinge to her ears is the only clue that
she knows what Harry is alluding to or that she is even aware she is being sweet-talked.
“Unfortunately my stomach isn't up for the round of over the top flattery to come either so
we'll just skip that. You can both borrow my notes but that's it.”

Ron's face immediately breaks into a wide grin. “Thanks `Mione. You're the best.”

Hermione smiles as Harry wraps his arms around her waist, turning her around with her back
facing him and pulls her close. “I told you not to call me that.” Hermione immediately leans back
into Harry, her shoulder just millimetres from his chin. They both seem perfectly content.

Ron immediately rolls his eyes. “What? Would you prefer `Herms'?”

“Sure thing, Ronnikins.”

Ron immediately pales. “You wouldn't?” Smirking Hermione nods slowly. Ron visibly swallows.
“Point taken.”

I immediately avert my eyes as Harry bows his head trailing kisses up Hermione's shoulder.
After being witness to some serious public raunchy displays, strange how such a simple act makes me
most uncomfortable.

“Harry!” Hermione admonishes with a squeal, pulling back, giving Harry a slight push.
“Public.”

Harry shrugs his shoulders sheepishly, obviously thinking he was doing nothing wrong. He opens
his mouth to retort but the words never cross his lips; cut off by the piercing scream coming from
Ginny.



15. Draco Malfoy 2
------------------



**Author's Note: All I can say is - finally. This chapter has been in the works for so long
that I'm glad to get it over with. And I'm sure you're glad to have it. Quite frankly
I'm sick of it. As always big thanks and huggles to Jamie, my gorgeous beta who always manages
to make my writing better and give me a swelled head. Not much to say but enjoy.**

**Draco's POV**

Screaming. That's all there was. A high-pitched whining that shot right through to your
eardrums.

I expected doors to fly open, or people to start rushing in, wands drawn, shrieking curses.

There was nothing. Nothing but the shrill screaming. No apparent reason for Red to be screaming,
let alone screaming the way that she was. This wasn't the kind of idle scream of annoyance I
usually got when goading her about Potter and her brother; this was a scream of absolute, abject
terror. The kind that chilled your blood as it went all the way to your bones.

As abruptly as it started the screaming stopped. Red's mouth suddenly snapping shut as she
stared at her feet, her face deathly pale.

Unsure what to do I just stared at her. I wasn't equipped for this. I was the one who
produced the terror, not picked up the pieces after it happened.

Red started to stare around the room, a completely blank look on her face. It was obvious
nothing was registering. Frantically I searched my mind for some skerrick of knowledge of what to
do with a terror struck female.

Man, I was no good at this.

“Draco,” Red whispered, as if she couldn't speak any louder. Confusion etched her face,
taking place of the fear, but marking it even deeper. Red swayed rather unsteadily on her feet and
I took a tentative step forward, still clueless as to what to do.

“What…”

Red had barely pronounced the `t' before her knees gave way completely.

I rushed forward, grabbing her arm a second before she hit the floor. She moaned slightly and
pushed me away as I tried to help her up. She had barely moved before she sagged back down to the
floor again.

At least the fall hadn't knocked her out.

Slowly she lifted her head up to look at me, her eyes pleading, begging for me not to make a big
deal out of this. Helplessness didn't suit her. Red was usually the strong one, ready to beat
on anyone who tried to get in her way. I think it came from growing up in a family of so many older
brothers.

Gently as I could I helped her up into a chair.

“Oooo,” she moaned holding her head tentatively, like she had a migraine.

Still not sure what to do I knelt before her, gently brushing her hair out of her eyes. Her skin
felt cool and clammy, like she was running a fever.

“Gin?” I hear Weasley ask as he peered over my shoulder.

I had completely forgotten about the others in the room. I took a quick look over my shoulder at
them, thoroughly disconcerted. They were all standing in a tight group as they gazed at Red quite
similarly to the way someone would look at a monkey in a cage.

“Just a sec, Bill,” Red answered trying to wave her brother off.

As if to mark the seriousness of the situation Weasley and I shared a look of concern over her
head. The situation was far worse than I could ever have imagined. Even people who barely knew the
family had extreme difficulty in mixing Bill and the Weasel up. They were as different as the twins
were similar.

“Alright, hospital wing for you, Red,” I tell her trying to keep my voice light.

As I watch her sitting there, nodding her head slightly, too weak to fight the notion I feel the
bile rise in my throat. How can something bring such a person to a quivering mess? If this happened
to Red what hope did Brown or Patil or the simpering girls I was talking to at lunch have.

My mind reeled through all the possibilities, each at least a dozen times more terrifying than
the last I move to help her up. I see Weasley swallow visibly as Red leans most of her weight onto
me as she stands. Her legs still unable to hold her weight.

As the knot of people parts to let us through I notice a sight, which usually would have
demanded everyone's attention, instead it was playing out in the centre of the room completely,
unnoticed. Slightly shocked I placed Red back down on her chair, taking a curious step forward.

Everyone else hung back, not sure what to do. Slowly I edged forward not wanting to startle the
pair. As I caught a better glimpse of them I was glad I was.

Potter was leaning heavily on the desk, bent forward in a strange way, his hand pressing into
his forehead as if he were trying to extract something. His jaw was taut. So taut I was surprised
he hadn't cracked his teeth.

Granger was standing in front of him frantic.

“You have to tell me what's wrong,” she half-sobbed; fruitlessly running her hands through
his hair, trying to sooth him. She bent slightly trying to get a look at his face. When she did she
immediately bit her lip, choking slightly on a sob.

Before my eyes I see Potter's jaw start to slacken again. He keeps his head down as he takes
a couple of deep breaths trying to compose himself. His face had taken on the same deathly pale as
Red.

“Harry?” Granger whispers softly.

Still he didn't look at her. Like he was scared to. Like if he did it would make whatever
happened seem all the more real.

At a loss at what else to do Granger takes a step back, giving Potter his room. Trying to goad a
reaction with her indifference.

It worked to a degree. Ever so slowly he raised his head, his scar throbbing a livid red against
the ghost white of his face. It wasn't Granger his eyes were searching for.

It was Red.

An unreadable expression crossed his face as I watched in macabre fascination.

Red's gasp snapped me out of my riviere. I turned to look at her, a horrified look of
comprehension adorning her still pale features. Silent tears poured down her cheeks. Potter seemed
to have confirmed her worst nightmare.

A deafening silence descended on the room as Potter and Red continued to stare at each other,
their terrified comprehension seeping under everyone's skin.

“Harry?” Granger asked, her timid voice breaking their look.

“It's okay, everything's okay.”

I'm not sure who he was trying to convince more, himself or everyone else in the room. I
wasn't buying it for a second. From the dirty look Granger was shooting him she was far from
persuaded.

Looking slightly shaky on his feet Potter pushed himself away from the desk and into the centre
of the room. Something about those two steps comforted me. For the past 10 minutes everything had
been rapidly spiralling out of my control, happening around me giving me only a chance to react,
instilling in me an uncomfortable feeling of helplessness.

Those two steps changed that. Suddenly Potter oozed an undeniable sense of power and control. He
features were now marked with an air of indifference; impossible to tell what he was thinking.

“We're locking everyone in the Great Hall,” Potter announced calmly.

I stare at him for a second. It was madness. Instead of getting half of Hogwarts killed we were
going to end up with a full casualty list.

I open my mouth to protest but am cut off by Potter's glare. I was unnerved. Potter was
radiating raw power.

“We're too spread out,” he quickly explains. “For Lavender's plan to work we need to be
together.”

“Harry,” Granger objects incredulously. “Don't be ridiculous. It's not going to work
now. Not enough people know.”

I tilt my head slightly to stare at her as a silence creeps over the room. I can see the others
shying away, unwilling to witness the impending fight. It was always the same, when those two
fought everyone felt like small children, locked in their room while mummy and daddy worked
everything out.

“Don't underestimate them, Hermione,” Potter tells her quietly. “I think they deserve more
then that.”

“It's better to underestimate them, than to underestimate the Death Eaters.” She pauses
slightly, looking pleadingly at Harry. “Sirius is missing, he was supposed to meet us but he's
not here, you and Ginny have something weird going on which you don't seem to think is
important enough to clue us in on. Now is not the time to be taking any risks.”

Potter takes a breath, running a hand through his hair as he begins to pace. Suddenly something
about him becomes more desperate; like he is abruptly aware of how much time we are wasting.
“Sirius is fine, he got held up. The thing with Ginny and I, I think I know but first we just need
to get out of here.”

I feel my back straighten as I watch a look pass between Potter and Red before he turned his
pleading gaze back to Granger.

It hit me then. This was it. No more mucking around. This was the big one and it was two seconds
from exploding, we just had to make sure it wasn't in our faces. Potter glances quickly up at
me, before turning back to calm Granger. He knows I've got it. He knows I need two seconds for
my mind to process this.

I don't hear what they're saying. My head's spinning with hysterical deafness. All
my life I've lived this, I've been prepared to fight a war. Now it was here and I've
crossed the floor.

Against every single one of my father's wishes and beliefs.

I was about to test my own in one of the biggest displays of “fuck you” ever.

“I'll go get Slytherin,” I announce, the conviction in my voice surprising even myself. My
stomach felt like a weak bundle of nerves, the severity of what I was about to do, what was about
to happen suddenly scaring me for the first time.

Maybe I was human after all.

The Weasel is fuming.

“What?”

His voice tears thought my thoughts. All the hoping that he would suddenly grow up was
completely wasted. Everything was black and white to him. When was he going to realise there were
shades of grey too. To him I would always be evil, and so would everyone in Slytherin.

“Not everyone of them is evil.”

My voice reaches my ears and I sound so calm. Years of facing my father, taking whatever he
decided to dish out with the famous stiff upper lip was definitely kicking in. I couldn't fall
apart. I couldn't get angry with him over something so trivial. Not now. I was one of the
level-headed ones. They needed me on an even par to even function.

“But…”

I cut off his protests before he could even start. Sometimes I wonder if his brain is even
connected to his mouth.

“If they are aligned with Voldemort they won't be there. If we leave the rest in the
dungeons we might as well slit their throats ourselves.”

“I still don't think…”

Wow, what a new and novel experience for him.

Potter suddenly cuts across him.

“Ron, shut up.” He sighs slightly before turning to me. Only then do I notice the stress
hovering behind his eyes. “Malfoy…”

I don't let him even start. I know what's coming.

“I don't care Potter. Just do your bit and I'll meet you in the Great Hall.”

We're wasting time here. Whatever Potter saw wasn't bringing fluffy bunnies and
chocolate goodies. I turn quickly on my heal, heading straight for the door, my back straightening
as I gathered my thoughts.

“Malfoy.”

I pause. Something in Potter's voice causing the hesitation. I keep my back to him as I wait
for him to continue.

“Just take someone with you.”

Classic Potter.

Safety in numbers. Desperate to keep the body count as low as possible… especially the body
count of those he knew. He never understood that his compassion could be taken as a liability.

I smirk, looking at him over my shoulder; well aware of the illusion I was creating.

“I work better alone.”

It was true, the banging of the door behind me emphasising my point. I hated the very thought of
having one of those wankers tag along with me. I didn't want one of them fucking this entire
thing up.

**AN2: This chapter may seem a little confusing. I promise explanations are coming.**

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16. Harry Potter
----------------



**Screaming on the Inside**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**A/N: Not mine, just taking it for a spin. Huge thanks to Lady Jane for betaing! Thanks lovey!
Nothing much to say about this. Sorry about the wait but in truth it was no where near as huge as
the last wait.**

**HARRY'S POV**

Looking out over the Great Hall and most of me doesn't believe it. This was it. Welcome to
the Thunderdome. Two players enter, only one player leaves.

Everything had been going smoothly. Too smoothly. I looked around the expectant faces, like they
were expecting a speech or something. They weren't going to get one. Not yet at least.

It had to be strange for them. Woken from their warm beds, told to dress comfortably, bring
their wands and follow us to the Great Hall, our nerves on edge, the squeak of a sneaker was enough
to have us all reaching for our wands. There wasn't a professor in sight.

It was such a great tactic. None of the professors would have thought. The carnage at the
Ministry was far too great for any of them to even think of leaving someone behind. They all
thought the Death Eaters would be too busy to even think of looking at Hogwarts. Not tonight.

It was smart. I'd give Voldemort that.

“Any word?” I turn to find Hermione looking up at me, her brown eyes wide with concern, hand
resting gently on my arm.

I shake my head before turning my back on a majority of the Great Hall. Now I was only faced
with the Gryffindor Seventh Years and Ginny. Milling around the head table, each displaying their
own nervous ticks. Parvati chewing her fingernails, Lavender prattling incessantly, Dean and Seamus
both pacing, Neville looking positively green. Ron was hovering gently near his sister; she was
still pale from her vision.

Slowly I lace my fingers with Hermione's before walking over and kneeling in front of Ginny.
Gently I brush some lose strands away of hair away from her face. She smiles weakly, letting me
know that she's okay.

“I'm a big girl, Harry,” Ginny announces slowly. “I've got enough older brothers without
adding you to the mix.”

I smile slightly before standing back up. “Too late.”

“You're going to have to tell them something soon,” Hermione tells me. I look down to find
her looking out into the hall, chewing lightly on her bottom lip. Her eyes flick quickly back up to
me. She doesn't need to tell me that `them' was actually code for `me'. She's
desperate to know what's going on.

“Five minutes.” My eyes flick to the entrance doors, a weight of anxiety settling in the bottom
of my stomach.

“How do you know he's coming Harry?” I look up to find Ron looking at me, genuinely
concerned, genuinely confused.

“He's coming.” I sound a lot more certain then I feel. What if he didn't get there in
time? What if Voldemort left people behind, knowing we would come for them?

Ron gives me an appraising look before his eyes flick out to the rest of the Great Hall.
“He's still a Malfoy.”

He doesn't look at me as he speaks. He knows what he's doing. He's words hit me with
as much force as an outright betrayal. If Ron has any doubt in me, what will everyone else think?
Am I really that crazy?

Christ, I'm leading a bunch of kids with nothing more than an incomplete Hogwarts education
into what could be the biggest battle in wizarding history. I definitely had some screws loose
somewhere.

I feel Hermione slip her hand into mine, lacing our fingers together, the small gesture of
loyalty centring me, allowing me to assess the situation with more of a level head.

“Five minutes,” I tell Ron again, lacing my words with an implication of finality.

“No Harry!” Ron almost yells.

“Keep your voice down,” Hermione whispers urgently, with a wary glance towards the sea of
students watching us expectantly. She's right. We don't need them seeing any disagreement
between us.

Ron ignores her and continues on his tirade.

“I don't get it. A year or so ago you would never have given that bastard a second thought
and now he's suddenly the most important person here. I don't trust him. I don't see
why you do either.”

“That bastard,” I spit, taking a step closer to Ron, pulling myself up to my full height, “saved
Hermione's life.” I pause for a second letting those words have an impact. “He saved
Hermione's life… and yours.”

That was it. The grand secret that Malfoy and I shared. Nothing all too impressive. A fact kept
secret because Malfoy claimed that he didn't want to have Ron or Hermione owe him a favour. He
said that he couldn't stand it. He had settled instead for me owing him the biggest favour
ever.

Ron steps back a startled look on his face.

“Why didn't you just tell me?” Ron asks quietly, still in shock from the information.

“Because I didn't want to have a snivelling little rat like you in debt to me, Weaselby,” I
hear I cold voice leer over my shoulder.

I turn to find Draco sneering at Ron, his grey eyes blazing, a large carton full of various
potions in his hands, a group of Slytherin first years peering around his shoulder, haunted looks
on their faces.

Ignoring Ron's sputtering, Draco slams the carton down on the table in front of him causing
the bottles to rattle inside. After taking a deep breath Draco turns his face towards me, anger
defining his mouth, a slightly deadened, stunned look shining in his steel grey eyes.

“We need to get this show on the road Potter,” he tells me, urgency marring each syllable.

“Were they the only one's left?” I question in gesturing at the handful of first years.

Draco fixes me with his steely gaze once more.

“Left alive, anyway,” he mumbles before moving past me to talk to Ginny.

“Harry?” Hermione questions, her hand coming to rest comfortingly on my arm. Unconsciously I
begin to massage my scar with the palm of my hand.

“Oh God,” I whisper. This was all happening too fast. Behind me everything begins to fade away.
The gentle whisper of people in the hall staring up at us, speculating what was happening, Lavender
and Parvati's comforting words to the Slytherin first years, Ron's incessant pacing,
Hermione's gentle probing. None of it was there. The room swam for a second, a ringing starting
to buzz in my ears. Slowly everything began to fall back into place with brilliant clarity.

“We're going to win.” I don't know how I knew, but I just knew. There was no way we were
going to lose this. Not if we fought.

“What?” Hermione asks in surprise as if she is not sure that she's heard right.

“I don't know how to explain it… we're going to win.”

“Harry -“

“I know you and Potter saw something. Just tell me what you saw,” Draco suddenly yells, drowning
out Hermione's next words.

We both jump turning to around to find Draco gripping Ginny by the biceps, his fingers digging
harshly into her skin, his face inches from hers.

“Draco - ow! - stop! You're hurting me!”

Something in her voice reaches Draco and slowly his fingers loosen around her arms.

“They attacked the ministry,” she whispers quietly. “Death Eaters, full force, they just walked
in and, oh God, I'm going to be sick.” Silent tears track down Ginny's already pale face as
she begins to rock herself backwards and forwards, trying to find any little comfort she could.

I feel eyes turn expectantly towards me, questioning me, wanting the truth, wanting more of a
full story.

“Your dad's okay,” I tell Ron answering his unasked question. “Voldemort sent the vision. He
wanted us to know what was happening. That he was coming. He attacked with full force, he wanted
everyone to rush to the Ministry's aid, knowing that would leave Hogwarts unguarded. It was
chaos at the Ministry. No one would have noticed the Death Eaters sneaking off one by one.”

Parvati squeaks, a hand quivering over her eyes. “But Dumbledore, he'd never leave, not with
the school unguarded.”

“I don't think he had much of a choice. There was far too many of them,” Ginny whispers,
tears pouring down her face. “You didn't see it… you've got no idea.”

As if on cue I feel a prickle in my forehead as my scar starts to buzz. Like some kind of
screwed up radar I can feel him getting closer.

“Lavender,” I call, pulling her close to me by her wrist so I could talk to her. “I need you to
do something for me.” Behind me I feel Ron's ears prick up. I hate to be doing this too him. I
know how he feels about her. I'd kill him if he ever even considered putting Hermione in the
danger I was about to put Lavender in. But she was the only one I trusted who could go unnoticed.
In front of me, Lavender swallows, nodding her head, eyes wide with fear yet her mouth set in
steely determination. “This is very, very important so I need you to listen to me.”

“I'm ready,” she intones and I'm not too sure who she was trying to convince more, me or
herself.

“In Dumbledore's office, on the shelf below the sorting hat there is a sword. Silver with
rubies set in the handle. `Godric Gryffindor' is engraved down the blade. I need you to go get
that sword for me. The password to Dumbledore's office is `strawberry truffles'. The
sword's in a glass case, but that's not charmed. Just break it with whatever you can get
your hands on. Once you have it, go up the stairs and on the right behind the portrait of Bevan the
Bugler, tap the portrait with your wand and say -“

Just as I'm about to give Lavender the password I'm cut off by a large bang on the Great
Hall doors followed by a series of screams.

Shit.

“Neville, Seamus and Dean I need you to go and re-charm that front door. I've got every
entrance except that one covered. Nothing stronger than “Colloportus” - we want to let them in
rather than have them burn the place to the ground. I just need you to stall them. Charm whatever
you can in front them. Most importantly don't do anything stupid. Keep charming the door every
five seconds. If they get in that's okay but if you can, try to give us about ten minutes.”

The three of them nod and turn to rush off to do as I'd told them. “Get Ernie to help you,”
I call after them as an afterthought. As they rush down the hall, Dean grabs Ernie's arm and
drags him along with them, rapidly explaining what I had asked them to do.

“Lavender - tap the portrait and say `conceal'. That opens a passage way which comes out
just behind the stage here. The passage way is only accessible from Dumbledore's office. It
can't be opened from here. When you go, try not to be seen, if you are run like hell. Once you
reach the gargoyles at his office you're safe, he has all kinds of protections around that.
Once you have the sword it's very important that you are not seen. You have that sword and you
become walking target practice so use the passage way. Once you get back here, get the sword to me.
If you can't find me give the sword to Ron or Draco. If you get desperate, give it to Hermione.
You must NOT be seen with that sword.” I pause watching her face, waiting for her reaction. None
comes. “Are you okay?”

She nods. “Run like hell, `strawberry truffles', break case, grab sword, Bevan the Bugler,
`conceal', passageway, don't be seen with sword, Draco, Ron or Hermione. Piece of
cake.”

“Go out the side door,” I tell her. “Once you're out, I'm sealing that and no one is
going to be able to come in or out.”

“Okay,” she answers in a breathy voice, barely above a whisper, her face determined as her head
bobs up and down. “I can do this.”

Before anyone else can say anything, she turns on her heel, racing towards the door.

“Harry,” I hear Ron start, trying desperately to keep the bite out of his voice.

“Not now,” I tell him, as I turn to look at him. “She'll be okay.” I know I'm trying to
convince myself as much as him. “Lavender's tough, she'll be okay.”

“What's so important about the sword?” Draco asks as much out of curiosity as out of trying
to veer the conversation elsewhere, barely looking up from sorting through the box of potions he
had collected.

Another bang at the door cuts me off before I can answer. A few girls scream and those near the
door scramble further away. A bookcase sitting in front of the doors wobbles precariously until
Neville charms it into place.

“I'm not sure,” I answer truthfully, carefully watching Dean, Seamus, Neville, Ernie and a
few others scramble to keep the doors blocked and closed.

“What have we got?”

Draco shakes his head in defeat. “Not much we can use. Poisons, truth serums, a couple of fire
starters and a whole range of stuff which is far too dangerous to use with this many people in such
a small area.” He pauses slightly, shaking his head at the box as if it had done him some
injustice. “Oh, and I almost forgot. A shitload of frightened children.”

Trying to ignore his last comment, I remain silent as I survey the Great Hall, groups huddled
together for protection and comfort, many alternating between frightened looks at the door and
hopeful looks towards the stage like they were expecting someone to rush in and save them.

Oh, right, I was that someone. How could I forget?

“Now might be the time to do something about that.” Draco prods nodding his head towards the
students.

Right, speech time.

I gaze out at them - if this were a movie I'd have some kind of epiphany and know exactly
what to say, my troops rallying behind my words.

Too bad this was reality. There were no fancy words, and my troops were a bunch of school
kids.

The door bangs again and the Great Hall is littered with a few screams. Neville quickly turns
and gives me an imploring gaze, his message clear - they can't hold much longer.

“*Alarmus*,” I whisper and a siren wails through out the Great Hall. The students
immediately go quiet, their gazes all quickly turning towards me, expectant.

“Listen up. I want everyone to pair up. Sixth years, grab a first year, fifth years with a
second year, third and fourth years, you're together. Seventh years grab someone in our year.
You guys are our front line.” I wince as I feel the gasp go up, and watch in slight shock as
determined looks pass over faces. “You guys might have been expecting some words of wisdom or
excellent battle tips. I have none. The only thing I can say is - don't die. Whatever you do,
*don't* die.”

Ignoring any reactions they may have been having, I turn to seek out Draco.

“Malfoy, I need a favour,” I tell him, gesturing for him to come away from the group a bit.

He smirks slightly, nodding. “Last names - must be serious.”

“Hermione -“

“You want me to watch her,” he interrupts, an annoying smirk gracing his lips.

I nod. “Don't take your eyes off her. And don't let her do anything heroically
stupid.”

I expect a snort from that, or at least some sarcastic laugh. Instead Draco sets his grey eyes
on me, surveying me intensely, his head cocked to one side.

“You really do love her, don't you?”

It was a question that had the most obvious answer I was surprised that he even bothered to ask
it.

“I do,” I answer. “If anything ever happened to her … I don't know … she's my
reason.”

I don't wait to find out his answer, I know he'll do it, not because I asked him but
because beneath the tough veneer he insisted on putting forth, Draco was really one of the most
compassionate people I had ever had the pleasure of meeting.

“Harry,” Hermione calls desperately, grabbing my arm and yanking me off to the side as I move
away from Draco. Another bang reverberates through the hall.

“Hermione, we don't have ti-“

“I don't want a big scene,” she quickly cuts me off. It's only then I realise the silent
tears tracking down her face.

“Hey, don't cry,” I tell her bringing, a hand up to brush the tears away.

Impatiently, Hermione slaps my hand away, roughly brushing tears from her cheeks. “I told you I
didn't want a big scene.” I hear her voice crack slightly before she continues. “I just -“

She doesn't finish her sentence, instead her hand weaving around the back of my head,
pulling me down, her lips crushing mine. She moans slightly as my lips part, allowing her tongue to
slip past, sweeping my mouth with the most delicious taste. She presses her body against mine,
clinging to me as if she were afraid she would never see me again.

All too soon she tears her lips from mine, her forehead resting against mine as she breaths
heavily. “I… um…”

“Shh,” I whisper. “It doesn't matter. Just be careful. For me.”

I feel her nod as another bang reverberates through out the Great Hall. I quickly graze her lips
with mine, moving away from her, the loss of her body almost physically painful. Why did I feel
this was never going to be the same again.

Taking a few steps away from her I face the Great Hall, automatically looking towards the door.
Quickly checking my wand I jump down from the stage, striding through the students towards the
door.

Seamus jumps almost a foot when I touch his shoulder gently letting me know that they can stop
blocking the door.

We don't have to wait long. It must have been less than a minute since they had stopped
charming the door closed before the doors swung open impressively, scattering the furniture and
chairs which had been used to hold the doors closed.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw as the dust settled. About two hundred Death
Eaters stood, wands drawn, dressed in identical deep black robes and ghostly white masks.

At the front of the group stood Voldemort, wand hanging loosely at his side, eyes flashing an
eerie red against the pale of his face, the deathly white only serving to make his features appear
even harsher.

Silence reverberated through out both the Great Hall and Entrance Hall as I regarded Voldemort
with what I hoped appeared to be a calm demeanour.

Finally I speak.

“Hello, Tom.”

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